Mon.01.Nov: 19.52 I'm only JUST getting to the day's Journals! It was another one of those “up, off the futon and MOVE!” days. And the moving is only just now, coming to a halt. “November”... Jeezus! WHERE are my days, my MONTHS, my YEARS going to? And as it gets so dark so early-on, it all just seems to pass all the quicker! - Funny how, once, up until a year ago, I welcomed the passing time. But, since Yonah's been my *LIFE*, I resent the passing so very much. - But, Yonah's “tucked-in” for the night and I'm listening to “Hauser”... a “play-list” on-line, now and “Benedictus” is playing... the melody that enticed Yonah off his roof yesterday. - Funny (or not), I'm missing those days on Bay Shore tonight... Schmulik, the Gregorian Chants. Life was at its “peak” back then. A nice little place on the bay, walking to and from work... Crit, Calvary. I did have a “good life”. I truly did. And I DO have a “good life”, for the most part, these days. As long as I keep the “politics” out of it... which becomes difficult... especially as I'm now forced into facing it, with all that comes with “old”. But for now, for this moment... - And so, this morning, of my own, I woke... looked at the “clock phone”... it read “5.55”. I had to make a loo run and when I got there, the loo clock read “6.06”. Strange, because the “clock phone” is usually faster than the real time... I wonder what I did in the mean-while. But there it was. And so, I put the kettle on, put breakfast out for the birds and put the flag up and put the jeans, shirt and under-things in the basins. Coffee. Lavage. And by 8.00, all was done and the washing on the line. - Got Yonah up and about shortly there-after and busied me for a bit until 9.00 when I had a bit of a lie-down for 20 minutes. - BUT WE HAD SUN-SHINE TODAY! BRILLIANT SUN-SHINE! AND YONAH SURELY ENJOYED IT... HE WAS ON HIS ROOF, BASKING FOR MOST OF IT! - I took ALL the “glass-ware”... Chanukia and all, and washed it all... and prepped the terracotta heater for Wednesday and Thursday. All clean! - At about 10.45 I headed “into town”... FamDoll, quickly, then up to Aubuchon to get more epoxy (I've become hooked on the stuff... it's great to have around the house, especially now when I have “things to do”, like Yonah's windows and other little “reinforcements” around this shit-box.) Then, over to Stewart's where I resolved only 20$ in the tank! It almost filled it! Almost. But 4 gallons at 20$! This is the kind of shit that pisses me off terribly! But at least the truck is running and there's almost a full tank of gas in it... especially with -4° coming on Wednesday night! FUCK! And that done, a quick stop at Kinney's for an “antifungal cream” for my head. I don't know that that's what I need, but at least I have it. (And this evening I read the box: not effective on the scalp. I don't give a shit. I'm using it anyway. Any “antifungal” is better than none... I suppose. I have it. I'll use it. I'll see what it does... or not.) And they didn't have any... ANY glass medicine droppers! The guy used the “supply chain” as an excuse but to be honest, I'm sick of this shit and I understood. They don't have it? They don't have it. Nothing either of us can do about it at this point. And then... to market where I wanted ice cream and eggs more than much else but, came back with several items. By 12.08 I was back... AND YONAH WAS STILL ON HIS ROOF... BASKING AND RELAXING! THAT MADE MY DAY! I LOVE SEEING HIM SO CALM AND SOAKING IN SUN-SHINE! - I ,b>HAD to go down to the cellar to check and see how that looks now, since there's been strange “thumps” going on in Yonah's room. I wanted, most of all, to make sure his floor is secure. (Though, later on, when I measured the windows for the lumber I'm using to “recess” the windows and blinds, I noticed that that floor is SO un-even! Moving Yonah's shelving was “odd”... there's definitely something “amiss” under that carpeting... and I'm just fed-up, pissed-off and angry about it all. But at least it looked OK down-stairs.) AND... I CHECKED THE OIL... STILL AT ABOUT ,25 OF A TANK! ENOUGH TO TAKE A CHILL OFF ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT AND THURSDAY MORNING! (And at the end of the week, we're supposed to go back up to above zero... not much, but at least above zero so... It's just a matter of weeks... 2... let's hope. I'm not expecting to get much from HEAP... and I'm not even really expecting it to fill the tank at this point, but more than ,25 is better than less than ,25.) - And at 13.28... the vitamins and naproxen arrived! UPS! And I thanked the young man driver. he says it's getting tough because people are shipping and ordering, and UPS has hired more people. But... let's just hope. At least I'm doing my part...with the Amazon shopping. (Now, if Walmarde would stop fucking about...!!! But at least Yonah's windows will be better... because...) - I cut the piece for the left side of the windows... the 2x3, and the 2x4 was just inches short but I've cut a block to fill that gap. And I've managed 3 coats of paint on them. Tomorrow... we SCREW THEM TO THE WOOD-WORK! They're not “perfect”, but they serve the purpose and I don't care any more about how “good” or “bad” they are.... I don't “care” about this place any more. - THEN CAME THE BULL-SHIT! THE THING NEXT-DOOR AND ITS SPORE RETURNED FROM WHERE-EVER THEY'D BEEN TODAY AND THAT SHIT-SACK STOOD ON THE BACK GALLERY, CHATTING AS IT WAS LEAVING, AND SMOKING! THE STENCH CAME INTO THE HOUSE, THROUGH CLOSED DOORS AND WINDOWS... AND I HAD MY WASHING ON THE LINE! I'M DONE WITH THIS SHIT! THAT THING OVER THERE CAN DROP, FOR ALL I CARE! AND WORSE? I THOUGHT THAT PUTTING UP THE LIGHTS IN THE WINDOWS WOULD HELP LIFT MY MOOD A BIT AND WHAT A MISTAKE THAT WAS! I'VE RUN OUT OF THUMB-TACKS! AND THE ONES FROM THE DOLLAR STORE? COMPLETE SHIT! AND THEN IT STARTED ROLLING IN MY MIND: THE CURTAINS ON THE WINDOWS, THE THUMB-TACKS, THE LIGHTS... CELO TAPE, FUCKING CHINA! IT GOT TO BE 16.00 AND I PUT TURKEY FRANKS AND VEGGIES IN A POT ON THE HOB... THE HOB... MADE IN FUCKING CHINA! THE WHOLE FUCKING COUNTRY IS MADE IN FUCKING CHINA! SO MY MOOD GOT WORSE... AND FUCKING WORST OF ALL? I SWEAR YONAH SENSES MY AGGRAVATION BECAUSE HE STARTED “CALLING”! SO THAT JUST THREW ME RIGHT OFF! ONE FUCKING WINDOW HAS THE FUCKING LIGHTS UP... AND THEY LOOK LIKE SHIT AND TOMORROW... WHEN I GO TO 'VOTE” (THAT TOO, FUCKING PISSES ME OFF! “VOTE”... IT DOESN'T MATTER ANY MORE... NOT IN THIS FUCKING 3RD WORLD SHIT-HOLE BUT I DO IT...) I'LL HAVE TO GET MORE THUMB-TACKS AND I'M REALLY DOWN TO ALMOST NOTHING NOW... there's money in savings, but I need to hold that for the loan payments... AND THE COST OF SHIT... AND... I WONDER IF THERE'LL BE ANY THUMB-TACKS IN AUBUCHON'S... AND THERE, EVERYTHING'S PRICED UP THE COLON! - Anyway, I got 2 strings of lights up... as they are, and had “meal” shortly after 17.00 and by 17.45... DONE. COMPLETELY! - And as soon as meal was done, it was time for Yonah's “evening routine”. THE FUCKING DAY WAS PASSED! - So? So... here it is... 20.30... LATE FOR THE NIGHT PILLS A-FUCKING-GAIN! Hauser is still playing. Yonah's door is some-what shut. His futon is set for me for later. I was going to shower but... tomorrow is “working” on the windows and I see no sense in getting “clean” for voting. - Yonah's fan is due to arrive tomorrow. I FUCKING HOPE IT WORKS AND IS IN “BRAND-NEW” CONDITION! I'M IN NO MOOD FOR MORE “BULL-SHIT”! - But for now, the house is calm, thankfully. I'm going to step out for a smoke, close the cellar for the night... just in case. I left it open to “air” after all the rain and there's more rain due tonight! FUCK! But mostly sunny tomorrow... high of 8°... we had a comfy 10°today... And so... more later... perhaps... - NOVEMBER! WHERE DID MY YEAR GO? SHIT!!! - 20.41 JUST UP FROM CLOSING THE CELLAR AND CHECKING THE BEAMS UNDER YONAH... ALL APPEARS FINE. THANKFULLY. I CAN REST BETTER KNOWING THAT. AND THE TANK IS *AT* 25%, I SUSPECT OIL WILL BE AROUND 4$/GALLON WHEN I CALL... AT 750$ (IF THAT'S WHAT I GET FROM HEAP)... NOT EVEN 200 GALLONS! FUCKERS. - I need to move along... or I'll throw a stroke. - 22.34 I am CLOSING today! Off to Yonah's. May we BOTH sleep soundly, peacefully, restfully.

Tue.02.Nov: 5.33 This is getting to be quite nice... I woke, of my own, at about 4.54 and laid on the futon, pondering the morning and the day and at about 5.00 just decided to get up. And I slept through the night. I'm liking these hours. Now, if I could only get the fucking blinds for the bed-room, I could be doing this with-out imposing on Yonah! And, I might even get back to being up at 4.30 again! Why? It's insane, really, to be up at that hour with this life of “nothing to do”. But I like the idea of being up at the hour I used to wake at. Anyway, here I am... and breakfast is in the yard, the flag is up, I'm dressed and ready for the day... or... a nap. Which-ever. - 5° out there, not a star in the sky... and I'm just looking at the météo radar and THERE'S BLUE COMING ACROSS AT ABOUT 8.00 !!! FOLLOWED BY A LINE OF FUCKING RAIN ! BUT clearing and 8° this after-noon. 0° and -2 for tonight... and TOMORROW NIGHT... “Wednesday, dreaded Wednesday”... by 1.00 on Thursday morning.... -4° WITH A CHILL OF -6° UNTIL 8.00 !!! Well, colour me “FUCK YOU”. Well? We'll deal with it when we're punched with it. - For now... there's stuff I can be doing... painting those boards... and then, at some point, off to “vote” (hahahahahah) and a quick stop at Aubuchon's for thumb-fucking-tacks. And later? Drilling and screwing and Yonah's windows! Tah... dah... as it were. - Yonah's fan should arrive today... things... to “attend”... “Things”. - 19.10 YONAH'S WINDOWS ARE DONE! AND, TONIGHT'S “TEST”? WELL, IT ISN'T “PERFECT”, BUT IT *IS* QUITE NOTICEABLY BETTER! DARKER! AND HIS FAN ARRIVED TODAY, AND THE “TEST” ON THAT... IT WORKS! Although the “Medium” and “High” speeds are so similar... I don't understand it. The “Bionaire” I had at 5199 had distinct differences, but the one for the bed-room AND Yonah's... well... “China”... it's all bull-shit. Now, I HOPE it works come the “appropriate” weather. But for now, I'm relieved to know Yonah has a FAN! - Oh... The drilling for the boards on Yonah's windows was quite difficult. The 2x3 seems to be a bit “moist” and drilling and screwing was difficult and noisy. AND SURE ENOUGH... THAT ONE FROM NEXT-DOOR CAME A-TAPPIN' ON THE BACK DOOR! AND, IT APOLOGISED FOR ANY NOISE IT AND IT'S CRONIES MADE. FUCK YOU! NOW? YOU DON'T DO AND APOLOGISE. YOU JUST DON'T DO IT! BUT... I WAS QUITE AND MOST CIVIL. - And I voted... for all the fucking good it does. But there were NO fucking choices... all the same shits that are already in the fucking positions. Not but ONE fucking Dem... not that I'd support ANY of THAT. Still... what a fucking joke. Same shit, over and over. - 22.43 OK Late. And the house has taken a chill... and we're going to 0° tonight and I'm trying to figure ways to warm the house (but there WILL be baking on Thursday, to be certain). AND... SocSec has posted (with tomorrow's date) already and the “Bill-Paying” is on the spread-sheet and there's money left over even paying the insurance (but there's another out-standing, other than the hospital, and I can't think of what it is soooo....). - I'm off to futon! We'll deal with the rest in the morning... after 6.00. -

Wed.03.Nov: 8.58 IT'S FUCKING COLD IN THE HOUSE !!! THE THERMOSTAT IN THE LIVING-ROOM WAS REGISTERING ABOUT 65F ABOUT 20 MINUTES AGO! AND TONIGHT'S SUPPOSED TO GET COLDER THAN IT IS THIS MORNING! WELL! WE'RE ABOUT TO SEE WHAT'S WHAT WITH WHAT! I DREAD IT. BUT... YONAH'S ROOM IS AT 22,3° AND I'M SITTING HERE RATHER “'WARM”. ALL'S WELL UNTIL I HAVE TO LEAVE THE ROOM AND THEN IT'S... OH NEVER MIND... - ANYway... I actually woke to the “alarm phone” 6.00 alarm this morning and honestly, I could have slept quite a bit longer but... BILLS HAD TO BE PAID TODAY SO... I was up and about and MOST of the bills were done by 7.53! There was “trouble” with the Geico site but that FINALLY got paid at about 8.30-ish (I hope so, anyway... It showed on the “history” page... apparently, there was a pending “cancellation”!!! FUCK THOSE SHITS, really. The “rep” told me that they give a “14-day grace”. Well, actually, the absolute “due date” was the 11th so... AND I have a “PDF” of the new “ID Card” so... there we have it.) - I HAD TO RUN THE FURNACE FOR A FEW MOMENTS THIS MORNING TOO! NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT! HOPEFULLY TOMORROW MORNING, THE HOUSE WILL HOLD AGAINST THE COLD OF TONIGHT... 20h:0°, 21h:-1°, THROUGH THE NIGHT: -4/-6° AND AT 8.00 TOMORROW MORNING... -4/-6° BUT... THROUGH THE DAY TOMORROW? A BALMY 5/5° AND... *** SNOW *** !!! WELL... RAIN AND SNOW !!! THURSDAY AND FRIDAY NIGHTS: -3° AND THEN... TROPICAL 8, 9, 10, 10, 9° FOR THE HIGHS AND -1, 2, 1, 2, 1 FOR THE LOWS. NEXT FUCKING PLUNGE... ON THE 16TH (and of course I won't have oil by then but... ) AT LEAST, IN YONAH'S ROOM, WE'LL MANAGE TO KEEP THE WARMTH... AS FOR THE REST OF THE HOUSE? FUKKIT! THERE. - In other news... Yonah's “morning routine” is done. And me? I'm about to clear some space on the futon (because I have book-keeping to do and such and it's on the futon)... I NEED a snooze! I'm “loosing it”. The bills are paid... the “stress” is done, well, THAT stress is done, and for some reason, I'm “running down”. I slept well through the night, last night. And it should have been enough sleep, but I often wonder: Oma said that Opa would SNORE through the night and wake the next morning swearing he go no sleep at all. Hmmm... “Traditions and Heritage”... what a shit. - OK... I'm off to... what-ever. I could run a trip into town for smokes... But I'll have to ponder that... later. - OH... JOKE: Checked the local “election” results last night. “Petie” got a whole “7” votes! (Lost, of course.) But I can't help but think: Mell and I make 2, P. and the Mrs. make 4. MAYBE bro-John and Mrs. for a potential 6 and father/mother? SOMEBODY didn't vote for him. Anyway... funny to be able to actually figure the votes. Still... a fucking Lib won as Town Justice. Oh well... Kay Sarah-Sarah. - And the thermometer in Yonah's room climbs to 22,9° and he's on his roof at the edge, on the wire... snoozing! GOD! I LOVE HIM! - 15.06 WELL... WE HAD A TOUCH OF SNOW... and I mean a “touch”... and now it's RAINING! OH, MAY THE RAIN CONTINUE (and tonight's temperatures remain “Rain” and NOT SNOW!) - Had the most WONDERFUL MORNING WITH YONAH, as I worked on paper-work, AND BEING FUCKED BY *** WALMARDE *** AGAIN! “SHARAN” THIS MORNING... “YOU HAVEN'T BEEN CHARGED. IT'S JUST A HOLD.” FUCK YOU BULL-SHIT !!! THEN TELLS ME THAT I NEED TO “CANCEL” THE ENTIRE ORDER BECAUSE IT'S “STUCK IN PROCESS” AND IT WON'T EVER COME !!! SO? SO THE ORDER WAS CANCELLED AND I ORDERED 2 MORE BLINDS (BECAUSE WALMARDE IS THE ONLY PLACE THAT SELLS THE “BETTER HOMES &c.” BLINDS... FUCK ME) AND THEN CHECKED THE BANQUE AND OF COURSE, WALMARDE TOOK THE DAMNED MONEY *** BUT *** I GO TO E-MAIL TO CHECK *** AND THE FUCKERS NOTIFY “YOUR RETURN HAS BEEN RECEIVED AND REPLACEMENT IS ON THE WAY *** !!! SO... NOW I'M OUT DOUBLE THE FUCKING COST OF THE FUCKING BLINDS AND I'LL HAVE TO RETURN A SET AND WAIT AGAIN WHILST WALMARDE SITS ON MY MONEY! NO... *** NOT *** HAPPY !!! OH... AND THE “REPLACEMENTS”... DUE TO ARRIVE ON THE 10TH BUT THE NEW ORDER... DUE TO ARRIVE ON THE 11TH !!! TALK ABOUT “FUCKED IN THE SKULL” !!! SERIOUSLY TEMPTED TO SEND AN ACCOUNT OF THE ACCOUNT TO CONSUMER PROTECTION !!! HAVE HAD IT WITH FUCKING WALMARDE !!! TIME TO BRING THE OUT OF SERVICE AND BRING OUR OLD STORES BACK !!!- OK... THEN, I had to phone Geico because today's e-mails and my account page was FULL of “Cancellations” and I'd PAID ALL THE BILLS THIS MORNING! Lovely woman named “Dianna” (Southern Black woman) told me that ALL IS WELL WITH THE INSURANCE, and that yes, I DO have a 2-week “grace period and that those “cancellation” notices are sent as “reminders” and never to worry about being a bit late in the payment, the policy doesn't lapse. Whew! - OK... also got the books caught-up through all of this! - By then, it was about 13.30... AND TODAY, THE VT-HAG MADE A WASH WHICH CHURNED BACK INTO THE LOO BASIN AND STUNK LIKE OLD, DEAD SHIT !!! SO, THANKFULLY, THERE WAS MONEY IN THE ACCOUNT AND I THREW MY BOOTS AND SWEAT-SHIRT ON AND HEADED OUT THE DOOR AND INTO TOWN !!! AFTER A STOP AT THE FamDoll FOR SMOKES AND PROPER SHEERS FOR YONAH'S WINDOWS (the ones that are long enough... more insulation against cold)... AUBUCHON'S WHERE I FOUND GOOD OLD-FASHIONED *** LYE *** ! THE NICEST BIT ABOUT THAT WAS MY “5$ REWARDS”... IT COST ME 1,16$! BUT STILL... I NEEDED IT AND SHOULD HAVE NEEDED IT! AND IN THE TRUCK AND BACK TO THE SHIT-HOLE AND DOWN THE DRAIN WENT THE LYE !!! I DID IT ONCE WITH THE “COOL” TAP WATER, LET IT SET FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES, AS INSTRUCTED, “FLUCHED IT WITH WARM TAP AND THEN... POURED MORE LYE DOWN AND BOILING WATER WHICH I GAVE A FEW MOMENTS (AND THE FUCKING GAS IT MADE WAS HORRIFIC! I HAD TO OPEN THE WINDOW, RUN THE FUCKING FAN IN THERE TO GET IT OUT !!!) AND FLUSHED IT WITH THE WATER FROM YONAH'S POOL (BECAUSE HE TOOK A SPLASH THIS MORNING! MORE ON THAT LATER) OF COURSE I USED MORE LYE THAN “INSTRUCTED” AND THERE'S MORE LEFT FOR ANOTHER SHOT WHICH I'LL BE SHOVING DOWN THERE IN DUE COURSE! I'M DONE WITH ALL THIS BULL-SHIT IN THIS HOUSE! - MEANWHILE... at least the house warmed a bit, since the day warmed a bit, but not much of a bit. It's 68F at long last but a delightful 23° in Yonah's room.... - THAT said... about the “splash”... At 11.47 (I took photos, of course), I was sitting at the work table, working on the books when I heard the “splash” behind me! The temperature in Yonah's room was about 25° and though the sun was gone, it had been shining for the briefest of moments earlier) we have the “NatSpec” on. Well, the warmth and the light must have been an “inspiration” and YONAH TOOK A SPLASH IN THE POOL! I took photos and sent to Gina via Twatters... including one of him “lounging in the moss”, post-dip. It was SO CUTE! And he's been in an active and happier mood today, some-how. (I just hope the fumes from the drain don't hurt him, but if they do, this house is GONE! He's my ONLY reason for carrying on any further and with-out him? Well... I've a life-time of my own Hell to shed before heading on to the “next plateau”... He goes, this house goes... since it will be because of this house that he “goes”... and that's the end of that story... and yes, here it is, documented and posted to the internet. FUCK YOU ALL! And have a nice day.) - ANYWAY... it's been another non-stop day and here... 15.29 THE NEW “BOOT MAT” ARRIVED! Sadly, it's quite flexible so I'll have to figure a “support” for it, but it's LARGE and the birds in the yard will have MUCH to eat! (And I'll have to figure out WHERE it will go now... MAYBE, but I doubt it, it'll lay properly on the back gallery rail?) - Anyway... at 15.43, chili with pasta is on the hob for tonight's “meal”. Oh, and I FOUND the “NRA” sticker! I thought I'd tossed it but I'd put it in a “safe place”... with the “files”... dumass. Now... I'm going to check the e-mails to see what NEW fuckery has taken place. - The loo drain is flushed, the window closed again. The rain is falling. Yonah's lounging on the loft. New sheers are up. (And the too-shorts are on the front door and looking SO MUCH CLEANER... now that the “off-whites” are gone.) - Let's HOPE for “PEACE” for the rest of the night? (HAHAHAHHHHH!FUCK!) - 20.28 Well? We're at that “strange hour” of a day, of a COLD night, when the house doesn't seem so “bitter”. I wonder... Yonah's room is at about 25°, the living-room radiator has been set at about 4,5 or 5 (I'm no longer sure at this point, but I believe I set it “up” this morning), and we're on the second round of tea-lights in the terracotta heater today, though, when I re-lit it at about 19.00, it was cold after burning today. But we shall see what this -4/-6° night brings. At least Yonah's tucked-in, the curtains are closed over the blinds, radiator set at about 4,5 which is what kept his room at about 25° today. The “killer” is the loo where it always seems to get SO cold... and NEVER MIND THE BED-ROOM. I don't want to THINK about THAT room, although I did take the one “off-white” panel and “clothes-clipped” it over the curtains in there. So we shall see what's to be seen (and felt, and cursed, I've not doubt.) -
*** NEWS NEWS NEWS *** AFTER ALL THE “FIGHTING” ON TWITTER, WITH WALMARDE... THE E-MAIL CAME THIS EVENING: A FULL REFUND! 69,08$ !!! THE TWITTER FIGHTING PAID !!! DAMNED FUCKING SHAME IT HAD TO COME TO THAT, BUT... THERE IS THE E-MAIL! NOW... IF IT HOLDS AS IT USED TO BE, BY FRIDAY? WE SHALL SEE. MEANWHILE, I DID SEND A CHARMINGLY WONDERFUL “THANK YOU” TO THE NICE FOLKS WHAT DID THE DEED. BUT... ALMOST 70$ BACK! (Now let's see who comes RUSHING AT ME for it! FUCK! I ALMOST could get oil... but, I'd rather go after HEAP... THAT'S all the years of taxes and Social Security that were taken and I'm getting THAT BACK before I DIE!) - So Yonah's Journal is current. I'm going to code and load this here and... get to a bit of QI and to FUTON! It's going to be a “frightful” sort of night... it's still raining out there... Currently 1/1°, still threatening -4/-6° from 4-8.00 (FOUR HOURS of that shit... and tomorrow 5° and -3° with sun, clouds, rain and snow. HERE WE GO HERE WE GO HERE WE GO!!! I've really got nothing on any “agenda” for tomorrow, save some shit round this shit-box ESPECIALLY THE INSULATION OVER THE CELLAR DOOR WHICH IS YONAH'S ROOM! (I truly WOULD SO enjoy throat-punching that Mass-hole fuck!) So... Yonah and I shall hide-away for most of the day. And I'll wonder what, if any of my “shopping” will arrive! OO! And I have to figure out how and where and such for the new “tray feeder” for the birds of the yard. - Other-wise... time to close this... for now... just for now... - 22.31 and it's OFF TO FUTON... and hopes that the cold stays where it belongs tonight... “OUT THERE”!

Thu.04.Nov.: 19.28 and I'm ready to just collapse for the night! It feels more like 21.28! Even Yonah's tucked-in already. But, come next week, the clocks will read “regular time”... it'll be only 18.28! Ah... “Winter”. Perhaps this year, I'll get to where I'll be in bed when Yonah settles for the night. I wouldn't be surprised. - But I'm only just now getting to this journalling, and a cup of ginger “tisane” at hand. I'm having a bit of “respiratory distress” and I believe I know why... to be explained as I go along here.... - OK... So by 6.23 I was up, dressed, served breakfast (in the dark) in the yard, put the flag up and was at the “on-line” part of the morning. The house was “chilled” this morning but NOTHING even NEARLY as cold as I'd expected after last night's cold. And... AND... THERE WAS A “WHITE DUSTING” ON YON MOUNTAIN TOPS! (It was gone by mid-day though... but... IT'S HAPPENING... IT'S COMING!). Thankfully though, Yonah's room was quite comfy through the night and the rest of the house was only slightly “chilled”. I was up... Yonah was still in the darkness of his room. - AT 6.56, I HAD A LOOK AT THE NY ACCOUNT TO FIND THE WALMARDE REFUND HAD POSTED! MY MONEY IS BACK! It ain't much these days, but it's good to have it back at LONG LAST! (I immediately started shopping for Yonah... but managed to stop me before clicking “ORDER”. It isn't necessary, really, and there's still time to shop for him... I hope... though, with things as they are these days... I might just go ahead before too long. I can see “Out Of Stock” hitting ever too soon.) - Well then... at 8.00, it was time to get Yonah together for the day. The “light” had broken, and though the morning wasn't completely clear, well... Yonah was, indeed, ready to hit the day! Morning routine went along and... by 9.00, I just HAD to have a snooze... and that lasted 45 minutes! I don't know why, but I suddenly get SO TIRED! I wonder how long I'd sleep, if I just allowed me to do so. It's annoying but... since I'd snoozed for so long, I really didn't get anything done that I'd wanted to do with this day. - At just before noon, I went to check today's post.. and Yonah's tubing arrived! (And, thankfully, that was all that was in the box... no shit notes or the likes.) So, when it comes time, we have “food grade” tubing for his “fountain”... (Christmas? New Year? When-ever... at least the tubing is here... and this time, guaranteed “food grade”!) - At about some-thing-after noon, probably closer to about 13.00, the sun had been shining and then not and then shining and... Yonah was basking. I'd baked two loaves of bread and had my little “lunch” and “pills” and I got pissed-off... and grabbed the staple-gun, gloves and eye-protectors and headed to the cellar! The insulation over the door is back up, and I found stray pieces down there so they too, went up on the “ceiling/floor” under Yonah's house. And, stuffed the open spaces around the door as well. It's “neater”. No better, really. What it needs is to be thoroughly insulated. But I'll be DAMNED if I'm going to put THAT much money into THIS place for somebody who OBVIOUSLY doesn't give a shit. I'll make it as comfortable as possible with what-ever I can scrounge. Fukkit! - Ah well then... when I got back up from that, I decided to “make a “platform” for the new “feed tray” (which I'd washed quite well and it was drying). So brought some “pallet planks” in from the garage and cut 4 pieces for the “lateral” and 2 for the “horizontal” and put them together so that the “platform” actually “slips over” the railing on the back gallery! Nothing “fancy”, but effective. The birdies have a DRY place to eat now, and that's primarily what I wanted. We'll see if they enjoy it... I HOPE they do because I don't look forward to all that food and seed n the snow again, this Winter. Hey! They'll find it and if they're hungry.... - After all that, the house got Hoovered and by the time I'd done with that... it was “meal” time. The last of the chili, with extra water, angel hair... on the hob. It was more like a “hearty” soup tonight but it was filling. I was wiped-out! And for no “particular reason” other than that I actually DID SOMETHING with this day. - Sadly, by the time the washing-up was done... it was time to change the waters for Yonah and get him started for “nigh-night”. Fortunately, the blinds and curtains work well to block much of (but not “ALL OF”... fuck) the light AND the cold! So they all got closed again, the back-board put on and the “NatSpec” light off... desk light on. Oh, how I remember last year... when poor little Yonah was in that mesh “box”, in that cold room, only the desk lamp... it was SO miserably dreary. But then, he wasn't expected to be around for long... I NEVER expected him to mend... and I CERTAINLY NEVER ENTERTAINED THE NOTION OF HIM BEING HERE THIS WINTER... to be honest, I wasn't entertaining the notion of EITHER of us being here this Winter... But, that's HIS room now... and as I thought today, as I chatted with him (and he dozed-off as I spoke!), that “crate” truly is NOT a “cage”! It truly IS his refuge, his “HOUSE”. It isn't a place to “confine” him at all. It's a place that provides some of the habitat that he would have had out-side, in his “natural” environment. It's a place that provides him a safe place to sleep at night, a place where he knows where his food is... and it's NOTHING even remotely similar to last year. Nope... that truly is... HIS ROOM AND HIS HOUSE! I merely sojourn in it. - Well OK then... 20.00 on the mark. Night pills and I MUST SHOWER. - As I said, my chest is “sore” tonight, and if feels as if I need to “bring something irritating up”. I covered my eyes as I worked with all the old insulation, but, of course, not the mouth. I'll NEVER learn... shit-for-brains. I just hope that what-ever's in there goes some-where else... like coming up with a hefty HACK! And I DO NEED a shower tonight, after that shit in the cellar. So... (I've just taken night pills... an hour and ... seepie-nigh-night for ALL!) - It's supposed to be another night like last night... here's hoping this old box has enough “stored warmth”. At least another 11 days before “oil”. - Something just “clicked” in Yonah's room... Off to check! - OK. Checked... Maybe it's the temperature difference... It's down to 1° out there... -4° from 5-8.00 with chill of -6°. Well Hell... at least it's single-digits! - 21.43 OFF TO THE SHOWER! Today is... done.

Fri.05.Nov: 7.31 -6/-8°. Clear skies. And the world, this morning, is “dusted” with the lightest frost on every-thing. And the birds in the yard have food. And on the “new” tray, this morning... a MOUSE! THEY'RE OUT THERE! Well... as long as they stay “out there”, all's well. I wouldn't mind them “in here”, but... NOT in Yonah's room, and they don't know well-enough. - And me? I woke at “6.05” on Yonah's futon, and as I pondered the day, dozed until 6.55 (or, as the phone clock read: 7.05) and got up and hit the floor running. Under-things in the basin on the soak, breakfast served, flag out, and I'm dressed. Living-room reading 66F, the terracotta is lit. And here we go. - Breathing, this morning, is a bit “off”, but I expected that, after the “cellar” yesterday. And I'm making a list of what I want to “accomplish” today. Pondering a town run... pondering. And other-wise? Well, of course, there's the “heating” of the house. Up to 6° for the day's “high” and the “minuses” should lave by Sunday. Oh well... We're doing fairly thus far. - Now, on with the show. - Oh... but I DID get a shower before “futon” last night... there's an improvement. - And last night's “shower”? “Typical” water situation. This fucking place is on my nerves again. Oh well... better horrific water than none at all. Eh? Fuck. - 18.56 Meal is done. Washing-up is done. I'm sitting at the work table and Yonah's all set for “lights-out” when I get done with Journals! - “Accomplishments” for today? Well...
THE *HEAP* NOTICE ARRIVED IN TODAY'S POST. A FUCKING MISERABLE 751 !!! AND AT TODAY'S “AVERAGE” COST OF HEATING OIL... I MIGHT JUST BARELY GET 200 GALLONS OUT OF IT! FUCK !!! AND FUCK-WITH-A-WHITE-HOT-PROD, THIS BLOODY SOCIALIST-COMMUNIST-TYRANNICAL DICTATORSHIP !!! SO I'M SITTING HERE, NOT ONLY WONDERING WHETHER OR NOT THE FUKTARDZ AT AVERY GOT THE MONEY ALREADY, BUT TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW I'M GOING TO SPREAD THIS OVER THE NEXT 6 MONTHS !!! WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? WHAT'S MORE ARSE-BURNING IS THE FACT THAT IT WAS A MERE 2,84$/GALLON LAST YEAR ! AND THAT THIS FUCKING SHIT-HOLE COUNTRY COULD BRING THE PRICE BACK DOWN... IF NOT FOR THE DODDERING FUKTARD-IN-BREED HEAD OF THE GOVERNMENT AND HIS GUTLESS, USELESS TESTICLES, AND IS ARSE-SUCKING TO THE “PROGRESSIVE-COMMUNIST-SOCIALIST SEDITIONISTS !!! SO NOW, INSTEAD OF LOOKING AT ANY SORT OF RELIEF FROM THE COLD, NOW AND TO COME, I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO BLOOD-LETTING ELECTRIC BILLS AND A HOUSE NOT MUCH DIFFERENT FROM THE DAYS OF 5225 !!! FUCK!
Never mind... move along here. - Yonah's new “surge protector” arrived today, at about 15.00 and I stopped “editing” photos to give it all a try! With a bit of “workings”, it's now up and in use and all I need do now is figure how to get the one from the bed-room (which is now in Yonah's room) attached to his “NatSpec” light pole. (I almost headed out to get “zip-ties” today but... I can do that on Sunday... when the temperature will be... 10!!! Working it in took longer than I'd anticipated and by the time I was done, it was time for “meal”. - Ah... “meal”... I'd put 4 frozen chicken breasts into the oven at about 13.45 so they were done, but I had no time for veggies at 17.00 so I had bread and butter with, PopTarts after. There. But ALL the washing-up is done and so I'm happy about that. - And right now, I want to get to “coding” today's Yonah photos onto his site. I STILL have to do back-ups too. Thankfully, tomorrow is a “go no-where” day so... But I really would feel better having everything backed-up... what, with this shit lap-top and all. - Oh... and the new “feeding tray”? Well, SOMETHING is enjoying it. It was EMPTY this evening. But I have a feeling it isn't the birds. I really need to figure a way to feed BIRDS and not rodents. Not that I begrudge but... - (I need a snooze... 15-20 minutes! My eyes are starting to burn... don't know why. But Yonah's set for the night...) - OH OH OH... I DID TAKE ONE OF THE “BOARDS” I SCARFED FROM FamDoll WHEN I DID THAT WORK, AND PUT IT ON YONAH'S FUTON. I'LL TAKE THAT SNOOZE AND REPORT WHETHER OR NOT IT HELPS BLOCK THE SLATS AS HOPED. - 19.39 And I woke a minute before the alarm and off we go again... - Oh... by the way... I'VE ALREADY SET THE CLOCKS BACK. - 21.07 WELL... Yonah's in for the evening... and I'm only JUST getting finished up-loading today's work on his site... WITH CODING I'VE DISCOVERED FOR IN-LINE “FONT” AND “FLOATING” A VIDEO ON THE “CAGE-CARE” PAGE! Late... but SO worth it. Now to get this onto the server and ... QI, ice cream (which I didn't have and am on the last half of the last container tonight) and to FUTON for SLEEP! OH... THANK THE LORDS AND FATES... TOMORROW NIGHT IS THE LAST OF THE “NEGATIVE” NIGHTS FOR A WEEK... *IF* THE FUCKERS AREN'T FULL OF SHIT! - KADIMA... for now. - 23.38 All the pages up-loaded to servers. 2 episodes of QI. I had a small ice cream and then some of that sugared ricotta and the sugar rush was sickening. Now? I'm off to futon!

Sat.06.Nov: 7.04 (though some of my clocks read 6.04 which is what time it will be tomorrow morning). When I woke, of my own, after a night of “heavy” sleep, thanks to the sugar crash I must have had during the night, the “alarm phone” read “5.44”, that one being set back already. So when I saw that and remembered “6.44” I simply got up (to pee) and now... I'm dressed, have had “first coffee”, breakfast served on the gallery, flag's out, terracotta is glowing and I'm ready to go back to bed for a nap. Lovely. And it's -4/-6° out there, high for the day of 8, low tonight of... -4/-7°. Tah... dah. And there we have it. Another day has commenced. And the TRAFFIC OUT THERE ALREADY IS DISGUSTING. - Yep... another day has commenced. - 8.00 AGAIN THIS MORNING! WOO-HOOHOOHOOHOOHOO!!! TWO DAYS IN A ROW! YONAH'S ONCE-USUAL “MORNING CALL”... I was at the kitchen table, the house was still, the day was just breaking and... from behind his door came THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SOUND A HEART COULD EVER HOPE FOR! So, of course, I dropped everything else and went in to find him, on his perch, waiting for me to open his curtains and blinds. WHAT A WAY TO START A DAY! NOTHING could be as perfect! - 8.47 “Morning Routine” is done... and he's still COO'ing! And the electric set-up with the new wiring is a touch easier than it was. There are some “adjustments” that will have to be made, but what a pleasure, and safer all round. I still want to mount the “strip” to the pole for his NatSpec light and get a “toggle-plug” for the light, but thus far, it looks to be good. - I have to admit, I did have a bit of trouble falling asleep in his room last night, worrying about the new “power strip”. There were reviews of it having over-heated, so I was “smelling the air” until I fell asleep. But I was in the room so... if anything had happened, I was there and he'd be safe. (It's going to be difficult to get used to being in my own bed again when the blinds are finally installed in my bed-room... I've become used to being in that room with him. Oh, and the board on the futon DOES make it MUCH more comfortable. Imagine that... good call... glad I grabbed those boards when I did. “Fate”. We never know... -
16.57: WHAT a FUCKING RIP! At about 14.30 or so, a knock at the door... Nell... come to give me a “note” with a “print-out” of some “left-wing” shit-rag in Long Island... “I've bee driving around and taking pictures of the banners flying in the area and posted them to my Instagram account and one of my followers sent me the link to this article. Do you know that that is?” “Yes, it's the flag of the 'Patriot' party.” “No. It's associated with 'VDARE' and their very racist.” Well! Nell got it right in the face. “Ignorance is intentional and I've no tolerance for ignorance!” “I'm SO sorry, Jude. I'm so sorry.” The note, hand-written, with grammar error “... if this were the message you intended...”, was so clearly based on her personal bent, agenda and purpose which I can only see as being “divisive, biased” and intentionally instigating! Annoyed, it did give me yet another reason to toddle up the road to John's to ask him if he knows or knows of “Nell and Glennie”. Nope. So when I told him of the note he said “How nice of her to provide you with the information. Democrat, I'd imagine.” Brushed it off. Well, now I await the call from the Mass-hole. And surely, when the “Brandon” flag goes up (which John has and it's the same one I ordered!) I'm positive there will be shit slung about the place. Ah... here we go! As I think of it: I mind my own business, stay at home, in the yard, don't bother with any or many... AND THIS “NELL” CAME OUT OF HER WAY TO BRING HER DIVISIVE BULL-SHIT INTO MY HOME! WELL... MY TOLERANCE IS GONE ANYWAY TODAY SO... LET'S BRING IT ON! - MEANWHILE... Ms. VTrash DID go over to John to ask about walking round the “track” in the back. Ah... one day I hope to be able to tell him: She's not as advertised and her “visit” wasn't strictly for “walking rights”. She's ANOTHER ONE... and I'll be sure to let Mr. Mass-hole know about THAT as well... should the opportunity so to do present. - Oh... and did I mention? No, I didn't. YESTERDAY Ms. Nance rolled by and actually tooted! I wonder what THAT was about. Probably a slip. - So, time for meal... chicken AND VEGGIES. And tonight, NO SUGAR-BOMB! I'm still “paying” for last night's. - More later... - Other-wise... it's been an entire day with YONAH... not VERY accomplished, but not too bad. - 18.32 Meal is done. Washing-up is done. Yonah is almost set for the night, windows closed, back-board up. And... IT'S NIGHT OUT THERE! And TOMORROW? THIS WILL BE 17.30! OH... but the days are shortening rapidly and noticeably. HERE WE GO! - Anyway... since it's early enough, let me get to a couple of what WAS accomplished with this day. - Backed-up the files, covered the non-working fan in the loo with plastic (which does NOT work AT ALL... it needs to be “plugged-in” and I did, threw the switch and nothing but a “hum”, it's rusted too... fucking shit), printed the insurance docs, worked a little on the new “calendar pages” for 2022 (imagine... what a fucking year, I was born for this century), took an hour's snooze too, as the sun poured into Yonah's room. - And Yonah is, apparently angry with me for some reason. Wants me around, obviously, but not “close”. Hmpf. Little crazy bird! I LOVE HIM! To think the morning started with his “call”... and during the day, well. I don't know what I've done, and I don't suppose I'll ever know. - Meanwhile, I'm really tired right now, but if I'm to put head to pillow, it'll be for the night. - Oh... according to “tracking”, the blinds for the bed-room are due tomorrow. I don't know that FedEx delivers on Sunday, but if they do, the holes are drilled. I just have to put up the hard-ware, the blinds and... tomorrow night, back to the bed-room! That bed hasn't really been slept in in such a long while. I go into that room and it's almost “odd” to me now. Well, we'll see. - Tomorrow, I want to run to get zip-ties to attach the surge-strip in Yonah's room and a “plug toggle switch for his NatSpec. Probably a quick stop at the market and that's about that for that. I'd “go” some-where... but, not at the price of gas. - And I have to work at getting back to the “4th Wednesday rent”. It's going to take some doing but... I'll figure something out. Best would be to start a savings in VT. I'll have to figure it out. After all, today's only the 6th of the month and I need to hold money to live on for the next 4 weeks. - Oh well... There's no guarantee I'll even be here much longer. I don't like this situation with “Nell”... although, I AM in “well enough” with the Demings so... I'll have to schmooze with the new “Justice”. (Oh lol... shit.) - OK. Moving along... Time for Yonah's Journal. - Hey, at least tonight's suppose to be the last of the “minus nights” for a while. WE MADE IT THROUGH! (And if I go back to sleeping in bed, I'll cut the radiator in the living-room. It's going to be CHILLED, but...) - 22.01 Heading off to bed... “futon”. The clocks go back tonight and tomorrow, instead of waking at 6.00-ish... I'll be up and about at 5.00-ish. No problem... Working my way back to the “old days”. That'll be nice. -
DID A BIT OF A SEARCH ON OLD “NELL” JUST NOW... YEP... I PEGGED THAT ONE: INSTIGATOR, BIGOT, NARCISSIST, NOTHING BUT TROUBLE. AND THERE WAS AN ARTICLE DONE ON HER IN “ADIRONDACK LIFE”... SHE'S FROM NEWARK (FIGURES) AND SHE AND HER “GLENNIE” HAD A HOUSE IN THE “NEK” WHERE SHE SAID THAT, DUE TO “CLASS” AND (of course) HER SKIN COLOUR, HER NEIGHBOURS WERE “HOSTILE”. SOME IDIOT FROM KEENE SUGGESTED THEY “TRY” THE ADIRONDACKS AND SOME DOLT BROKER ARRANGED FOR THEM TO BUY THIS PLACE HERE. BUT SHE AN INSTIGATOR... SO I'M RATHER RELIEVED THAT IT'S BEEN OPENLY DOCUMENTED. SHE'S LOADED WITH “HONORARY DEGREES AS WELL SO... NO WORK... NOT “EARNED”. BOLLOXING QUNT. AS I SAY, I'M RELIEVED. ESPECIALLY SINCE THERE'S DOCUMENTATION... AVAILABLE ON-LINE. OH... I JUST MIGHT MAKE MENTION TO THE THING NEXT DOOR. LET HER HAVE A GO AT THAT HAG. Yes, I'm annoyed.
Anyway... I'd like to get this and Yonah's entry posted before sleep... all's done for the day. Tomorrow, a QUICK trip into town... for stuff for Yonah's room. - Looks like the blinds will be here on Monday (as I thought). FedEx says Sunday but Walmarde says Monday... People... what a waste. Well, they'll arrive when they do. Hopefully they'll be in perfect condition (I'm not counting on it... and will simply return for refund. Fukkem. I'm NOT going through more shit! And if I have to drive to get them? Well... we'll deal with that when we deal with it.) - Off to post and then to snooze.

Sun.07.Nov: 6.26 I was up at 5.-something, hacking. That's what woke me up. And POOR YONAH! Thankfully, I woke, stopped the hacking and dozed back to sleep for another hour. And so, I was up and about shortly before 6.00, which is “normal”, despite the “change of clocks”. Coffee's done, the flag is out... THE FLAG IS OUT! But all the food I'd put out last evening, on the gallery, is still there! I wonder... Had, HAD to kick the furnace up for a brief moment, just to take a “damp chill” out of the house. And this morning, I'm in NO MOOD for “damp chill”. As a matter of fact, I'm quite “worked-up” over that instigating shit coming to my door with her leftist-communist bull-shit yesterday. To think, I came here, quite happy to be with “like”, only to be dealing with this bull-shit! AND, making matters all the more abrasive, it comes from “Newark”... NJ! Oh... I think I'd rather have a house full of mice again. Ah well... we shall see where this leads. And I'm rather sure it's not going to be “down a garden path”. So I wait. - Meanwhile... here we are. - I've a couple of items to get in town today. And a short list for the market. Aside from that, working on the 2022 calendar pages, moss for Yonah, slats for the futon. Let's see what comes of that today. No rush, other than Yonah. And his house, well, his pool, needs a cleaning. There's that. It's supposed to be a sunny day... warmer than the past days. Right now it's -4/-6 and there's frost about. But we have a high of 10 coming... and sun-shine... SUN-SHINE! Mr. Taube should be happy! Hopefully. - Well, on-ward butter-cup, there's fuckery to be spread! - (Catch-up... again... Mon.08.Nov: 14.14) - JUST as I finished typing that... the clock read “6.55” and... from the next room, through the closed door... “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!” It's really almost astonishing, how, almost to an hour, Yonah is up and awake... AND that he some-how seems to “know” that if he calls, I'll be in to open blinds, curtains and the door to his house and our day will commence. And so it did! “Morning Routine” and all... - But there was one thing that I noted, quickly, and have also put in his Journal... a
I was working about the house and had to open the back screen door to put something on the gallery when Yonah came RUSHING by and OUT! There were other mourning doves on the back walk and he “landed” beside one, in particular, and the two of them stayed there for a few moments, together. I didn't dare to make a move toward them because I thought they'd both take flight, as mourning doves will, so I stood, watching, wondering if Yonah would come back to the house or... As I stood, completely still, the two doves walked, together, into the grass where they started pecking at the ground, as if foraging. Yonah seemed to be mimicking the other dove but didn't seem too sure of what he was doing, and I thought “He's not used to having to forage for food any more. He's accustomed to his dish, the placement... What will he do now? Will he re-learn? Will this other dove teach him?” And then, the pain struck my heart: WILL HE COME BACK TO HIS HOUSE, IN HIS ROOM, WHERE HE HAS FOOD, WATER AND PROTECTION? OR WILL HE TAKE OFF WITH THIS OTHER DOVE? AND IF HE TAKES OFF, WILL HE EVER COME BACK? WILL HE BE ABLE TO SURVIVE? It was “Summer”, so I decided that I'd keep the screen door open to see if Yonah would return to “his house”, but the thought of him never coming back began to crush my heart... and the dream stopped and I drifted back to regular sleep. But when I woke, I remembered it... and now... I wonder... And with him taking off and “adventuring” this morning... I wonder... all the more. My heart was in shatters ... I somehow knew he wasn't coming back... the dream ended. I guess my old heart couldn't take the pain and my brain said “STOP”! I don't mind including here, on MY Journal, that, the fact of the matter is: with-out him, there will be no more “me”. I've NO intention, for ANY reason, cause or excuse, of “going on” after he's gone. These days I do my best to provide ALL the possible comforts for him, to give him a “Life” that's safe, where, other than his “birth-right” and such, there are no “wants”.
NOW THEN (as they say)... taken directly from Yonah's journal... THIS:
WELL THEN... on the last trip with fresh water for the pool, I looked in and... NO YONAH! Not particularly unusual. He'll often-enough take to his roof or a shelf on the wall, or even to the back of the chair at the work table, BUT THIS MORNING HE WAS NO-WHERE TO BE FOUND OR SEEN IN THE ROOM! NOW THAT WAS UNUSUAL! I looked EVERY-where about the place. His colouration is such that he TRULY DOES blend into what-ever surroundings he has. Mourning doves are amazing hiders! I often wonder how predators ever find them, although, their habit of eating in open spaces, on the ground tends to leave them susceptible to a great many threats (especially humans, who, as I've learnt and has been stated, clearly, on his web-site, find it “sporty”, “fun”, to murder the benign little beings). But in a room in a house! Oh, he CAN and DOES, for the most part, “vanish” into the surroundings, mostly in other-wise plain sight!
I figured he couldn't have gone too far, and I looked up and down, shelves and floor... nope... no Yonah.
BUT THEN, when I returned to the kitchen, I happened to glance out into the living-room and... THERE HE WAS! AT THE WINDOW, ON THE PLANT SHELF, NESTLED IN THE ENGLISH IVY! He has a bit of an attraction to that plant... it's lush, full, thick, and, as I've read, considered “toxic” to doves. But he doesn't do much in the way of pecking at it. He's content just “nestling” there! What I don't understand is... he HAD to FLY RIGHT PAST ME to get from his room to the living-room and although his wings DO make the distinctive “whistle” as he flies, he managed to get by me completely UN-NOTICED! HOW? And how AMAZING! But there he was, undeniably, in the ivy, at the window! Now THAT'S a FIRST: First thing in the morning, Yonah's up and out and adventurous! Even before his breakfast!
I'm rather happy about this though. I DO want him to take full advantage of the rest of the house. I've ALWAYS wanted him to take full advantage of the rest of the house. He's not “caged” nor is he “confined”, especially NOT to a “cage”, nor to a particular room. This is HIS house, HIS domain, and he's free to explore it ALL at his will. There have been times when I've had to go out on errands and such, and, if I'm kept away for any great length of time, I HAVE come back to find him on the futon in the living-room. But those times are rare. (I don't like leaving Yonah alone for any long length of time... since, even though he might not want to be “close”, it's rather obvious that he doesn't like being “alone”, “solo”, “solitary”. I can understand that... Mourning doves are “flocking” and this Little Guy is on his own here... with just some piddling, old “human” for companionship, and I owe him the debt of “company”... which is why I TRY to spend as much time with him as possible, and we “chat”.) Still, it's the “first thing in the morning”, “before breakfast”, the “immediacy” of the situation. His door was opened and off he went, on his journey. Ah well... he's exercising his wings and becoming familiar with the rest of the house. Excellent.
I went on with the tasks-at-hand, leaving him to be where he appeared comfortable and THEN... ANOTHER “new adventure”... I'd put a tree limb in the living-room for him (of course, “for him”) hoping it would encourage him to “get out and explore” and have a “natural” place to rest and roost. It's been there for several weeks now, but, until this morning, he's not gone to the living-room... until... This morning, he ventured off and across the room, almost directly to the tree! It was as if he'd been there before, knew it was there, for him, and there he roosted, just as settled as could be! HE'S USING THE TREE! (Honestly, I don't take any particular “credit” for these other-wise “silly notions” that get into my head where providing for Yonah, but when something works, I'm amazed. It's merely a “gut”... or maybe it's “instinct”, but the pool, the trees, the moss... these are the things that Yonah appears to enjoy. How sad to think of all the little birds in this world, kept in actual “cages”... and their “people” don't think of the little pleasures, necessities, really. Well, this is why I chose to put all this onto the internet. Maybe I'll make life better for a few more Little Ones... some-how, along the way.)
Following-up on this morning's adventure... I noticed that Yonah was “fluffed” as he roosted in the living-room, and the temperature there is rather “cool” at a mere 20° (compared to the 22-25° in his room), so I went to “chat” with him and encourage him to go have breakfast in the warmth and comfort of his “domain”, and, like the little CHAMP he is... a flutter of wings and away he soared, out of the living-room, through the kitchen and... to his house where, for a while, he roosted on the “extended perch” by the work table and then, as I spoke with him in there, he hopped over to the “breakfast nook” (a little shelf set-up for his food... originally with the hope that it would keep the mice away but it's become “familiar” to Yonah now so I leave it there) and... breakfast time!
It's supposed to be a clear, sunny, and a bit warmer day today, so I'm hoping Yonah has plenty of “basking” time. And the warmth will, no doubt, be much appreciated. And I'm considering a “thorough” house-keeping as well. But that remains to be seen. His house isn't “dirty”... but a “freshening” might be in order. And we have a day together... we shall see.
OK! ... 8.47 Just getting Yonah's Journal done... Looking at the clock. Waiting for the sun to break over the trees... and getting tired again... and Yonah's back in his room... fluffed. I wonder why! and the radiator keeps making a loud “snapping” sound from time-to-time... it did that last night too... The outlet and wall are cool to the touch... I'm not liking this! Was going to wash the fleece and an old shirt but.... It's chilly in the house... and Yonah's door is open. But... we'll see how the day rolls... .I still need to get to town too. - 16.24 and it's already growing dark out there! Oh... “Winter”. And to think: I purposely wanted to be here at this point in my life-time. Ah, but had I not come, Yonah wouldn't be my life. And we made it through last year, together through this. It's fine. We'll “adjust and adapt”, just as we did and do. - I DID get to town. Got the zip-ties and the “toggle-plug” to attach the power-strip to the pole for Yonah's “NatSpec” light. And, made a stop at the market. I was back in the “hole” but about 11.00 too and got right to work on the power-strip and re-configuring the electrics for the light and the fountain pump. *** AND ANOTHER “EVENT”... WHILST I WORKED ON THE “ELECTRICS”, RIGHT BESIDE YONAH'S HOUSE, HE DECIDED TO GET UP FROM HIS BASKING AND HOPPED OVER TO HIS POOR FOR A SWIM! HONESTLY! I DON'T EXIST SOME-TIMES! OK. If I'm not “there” and he knows I'm around, he'll call. He “acknowledges” when I come into the room, sometimes, coming to his door, BUT if I try to get close... OH NO! NOT having that! But you know? I take comfort in the fact that he has no “fear” of me, and THAT, in an of itself is a MAJOR accomplishment AND THE HIGHEST HONOUR I could EVER have! But it was SO CUTE! SO AMAZING! And no, I didn't interrupt... I just kept right on working... and “chatting” with him. When he was done... off to his “moss bed” and all was well with the world. WHAT A GUY! WHAT A DIVINE BLESSING! *** - In other news... I did manage to get the lights up PROPERLY in the living-room windows. All set for the night of the 29th... IF I'm even in the mood. Oh well... Shake the shit of this place and move on. - Also, stepped out and put the new “NRA” sticker on the back window. “Cute”... Eh? - But then... that one next door came out to it's gallery and I just HAD to “tell about Nell” and how she denigrated and degraded and insulted the folks of the “NEK”! Doubtless, it's a lost point, but it's been said. (Nell can feel “threatened” by the “Good Folks of New Russia” and now she can BE threatened by that one next door. Oddly though, VTrash asked “a favour”... once a week, knock on her door and come for coffee. HAH! She's NOT liking the “quiet” she's getting here. I didn't think she would. Little does she know... (a) I don't have a need for company, (b) I don't want to sit in her kitchen for coffee, I have my own... kitchen and coffee, (c) I don't exactly look forward to “chatting” with her because I don't trust her and (d) she still insists that Mass-hole phones her just to talk and well... they can keep that shit to themselves. (Thankfully, Winter is coming... She'll get a full dose of New Russia... soon.) So, needless to say, the after-noon was pretty much fucked. Thankfully, Mayor McFuknut came by and I had an escape. I'm “pleasant” but only to the point where it serves me. After that point... FUKKIT and FUKKEMALL! - I was back in by 15.45 and HOOVERED! The house NEEDED it! And I feel better now. But feeling t he “time” change now. Yesterday, it was already 16.45 and my “system” is telling me that I ought to eat, but I'm not falling for it. Meal is at 17.00 no matter what. And so it shall be. - Oh I'd come into the house and wanted to step out front for a “peaceful smoke” and Ms. Next-door was at her post... we touched on HEAP and she's not received notice from them yet. BUT... SHE SAYS SHE “LOCKED-IN” WITH AVERY AT 3,49$/GALLON! IT'S ABOUT THAT NOW ALREADY! AND SHE'S ON “MONTHLY TOP-OFF” AND “PRE-PAY”. FUCK THAT SHIT! I told her that this 751 bull-shit doesn't give us a tank full! And THEN... it was actually FUN: I told her that LAST SUMMER, UNDER “TRUMP”, I PAID 1,69$/GALLON... SHE WENT SILENT AND WALKED AWAY... (I've a new word now... the ultimate insult... “Bidenite”. FUCKING MENTAL MORONS! But I WIN!) - 21.12 already... I've gotten carried away with the general bull-shit of an evening and am tired now... and haven't even yet gotten evening “QI” yet! - I'm tired, but I WANT my nightly QI... so I'll go for that and then... to futon. Blinds are due to arrive tomorrow so I'll be “back to bed” (I BLOODY-FUCKING HOPE!!! I know they're not going to be “perfect” at blocking that BLOODY-FUCKING LIGHT, BUT I CAN FUCKING HOPE FOR “BETTER” AND FUCKING PROPER SLEEP! NOT THAT I EXPECT IT... FUCKING SHITS!) - I DID get today's “book-keeping” done though... sat on the futon beside Yonah to do it, with that little “Ikea computer light”. But then, I felt bad because I was keeping him up, more than keeping him company. So... - And he's still not “touchy-touchy” but at night, he seems more “kissy-kissy”... he'll let me do the 'smooches”... silly Little Bird. - “Meal” was, by the way, chicken and “Italian Mix” tonight. Time for a bit of a change from the “Stir Fry”. This mix is a lot of carrots BUT I CAN EAT CARROTS NOW! NO “CA-LUNG”! I'm not going to push it but... To think: SO MANY VEGGIES NOW... after ALL TO FUCKING MANY YEARS OF NOT EATING ANY! (Pastries and tinned soups and shit. It's a wonder I'm not rotted through the inside... and out.) - Well... off to QI... - 22.28 DONE... DONE... DONE!!! OFF TO FUTON AND HOPING LIKE ALL HELL AND THEN SOME FOR NO FUCKING HACKING TONIGHT! Never fails... I lay my head down and it gurgles. It bothers me to know that I'm disturbing YONAH! For now... no hacking, no pains, no contractions... I've got no sense...

Mon.08.Nov: 6.50 CONTRACTIONS !!! ANOTHER NIGHT OF CONTRACTIONS !!! And now a morning of spinning head and general “round and round”, fatigue!!! It WAS “too good to last”, these past pain-free, sleepful nights. - Last night, I got up from table, brushed teeth, sweats on and onto futon. All was well... for... about an hour when the left foot, then the right leg, then the left leg... of course, not all at the same time!
AND THE MOST HORRIFIC NOISES IN THE HOUSE THROUGH THE NIGHT! FROM THINGS “CRASHING” IN THE HOUSE TO SOME SORT OF “RUMBLING”, OUT-SIDE, ON THE HILL. THAT SOUNDED SOME-THING LIKE THE AMISH CART GOING BY BUT IT HAD TO BE ABOUT 2.00 IN THE MORNING! I SERIOUSLY DOUBT “THE BOYS WERE OUT FOR A NIGHT ON THE TOWN”... UNLESS THEY WERE HEADING TO “NANCE'S” IN WHICH CASE, I'D RATHER NOT EVEN THING ABOUT IT. ONE OF THE “CRASHES”, I FOUND, THIS MORNING, WAS THAT THE TEA-TOWEL RACK IN THE KITCHEN, HAD FALLEN. THAT MAY WELL HAVE BEEN BECAUSE OF THE HOUSE GOING THROUGH THE NORMAL CHANGES WITH THE CHANGES OF TEMPERATURES. BUT, THAT “RUMBLING”! AND THE OTHER CRASHES WHICH SOUND MORE LIKE SOMETHING “IN THE WALLS”. THANKFULLY, NO SIGNS OF “DAMAGES” THIS MORNING SO... WE'LL SEE WHAT'S WHAT WITH WHAT.br /> 6.53 Morning Call! Yonah's up and awake and it's time to ROLL! My little Blessing... - 11.23 Yonah's pool and rocks and kitchen roll on the “pool” half of his house are all cleaned and his pool is SCRUBBED and CLEAN and SPARKLING! I changed the sand under the pool too because there were seeds growing around it. The rocks got boiled and then, when they were back in the pool, the sand got a thorough rinse and a boil. I'll put it through at least one 2-hour “sterilisation” in the oven (especially in this cooler weather... the electric bill is going to be MURDER this month... and to think... I haven't ordered oil for the furnace yet... I ought to do that tomorrow before the prices go up AGAIN!!!) And a “new moss” is in.... I put one “mat” in, fresh out of the container. It appears to be “clean”. I didn't rinse this one... we shall keep an eye on it. - OH... AND... LET'S GO BRANDON IS FLYING OUT FRONT! The flag arrived in today's post and I put it up IMMEDIATELY! NOW let's see what the hamlet has to say... Eh? It's cute though... Coming into New Russia from the North, there's John's flag... Coming in from the South is mine. So coming and leaving... “the message” is clear. (Eat shit, Nellie!) (I wonder if the Peteridiot will take notice... little fuktard.) Anyway and... I've things to do... - 16.05 Still catching-up with this shit! Pissed with me to be frank. It's not that I haven't DONE anything all day but I seem to be “distracted” all too much and too often with all sorts of thoughts and shit. - I DID take a walk out to check the truck, because of that racket last night/this morning... I don't trust ANYBODY around here and... Noticed a SCRATCH from the gas tank back to the wheel well, driver's side on the truck! WTAF? Interestingly, it's on the “garage-side”... the side that isn't so visible from the house. I REALLY WANT to level the grade on the drive at the kitchen more than ever so I can park there! FUCK THIS SHIT! There's just so much about this place that pisses me off... especially with that thing in residence next door. I DO NOT trust that! -
16.30 BLINDS ARRIVED!!! Just, of course, as I was getting meal prepared! BUT... by 17.01 ONE BLIND LEFT TO INSTALL... FUCK! I had all the holes drilled but it wasn't as “quick and easy-peasy” as I'd anticipated. Of course, I was anxious to open them up and check and when I saw they're NEW boxes... BUT THEY'RE IN PERFECT CONDITION! NOW TO SEE IF THEY WORK. And that will be seen tonight. Meanwhile... IT'S MEAL TIME! AND YONAH'S SUDDENLY “VOCIFEROUS”... ALL OF A SUDDEN. I WONDER WHY! But... MEAL! I NEED to eat. Had some bread and jam this after-noon but... I'm feeling it. THE BLINDS ARE HERE!
18.04 DAMN! Sat to eat at 17.00... Done... Put up the other blind. Done... Now... even Yonah's “evening routine” is... DONE! JEEZUS KRISTE! HOW? But... it's all done... nicely... and I think the blinds are going to be WELL WORTH the investment. It's dark out, that fucking street-light is on and it APPEARS the blinds are blocking quite a bit of them... We shall see when the house is dark... or... as dark as it gets any more. Fucking shit-box! - 18.32 BLINDS ARE UP AND EVEN THE BED IS “IN ORDER”! The bed-room is in order. Yonah is tucked-in. And I'm EXHAUSTED because I SHOVED EVERYTHING into the last TWO HOURS of the day! And I'm STILL “noting” on my Journal and have to “close” Yonah's “Daily”! (And no... I haven't had dessert yet but the washing-up is complete.) This is shitty! I'd HOPED to have been able to “pace” the day! -Well that's that for this day!... - 21.55 Ordered more sheets for the windows... Thus far, it seems the blinds in the bed-room WORK! Looks quite dark in there! I'm just heart-sick... I'm so used to sleeping in Yonah's room! Anyway, I ordered another 6 sheets, same as are on the windows in the bed-rooms. I want the extras for Yonah's room, to see about darkening a bit more AND insulation and for the bed-room... primarily for insulation. I know I shouldn't have shopped but, best to get this stuff now before the prices go up. Besides... it's money and I don't worry about time any more these days. As long as I'm around for Yonah... that's all I need. - Now, to finish Yonah's Journal today, try for a bit of “catch-up” on today and TO BED... BED, tonight. Hopefully TO FUCKING SLEEP! - 22.41 So much A-FUCKING-GAIN for BEING IN BED BY 22.00! But I've finally gotten the Journals up... I just need to add Sunday's photos to Yonah's page but I'll do that tomorrow during the day. Again, I really have NO reason to leave the house. It's supposed to be “fair”... sun-shine. I DO want to put the “side slats” on Yonah's futon, so there's a “task” for the day. Other than that? Well... I'm SURE there will be SOMETHING else to occupy the time. - Odd... no word from “Mindy”. Last word was “last week October or first 2 weeks November”. I thought about it today... Did the paintings get destroyed in rain? Has she changed her mind? Well? I've gone with-out them for 16 years... it doesn't really make any difference now... I can't sell them. I don't know that I want to hang them all in the house here. So? So... if she has them... good. If she sells them... what the fuck? If they're destroyed... they've been gone for 16 years. I can't really be bolloxed or arsed about it. Time will tell... we shall see... Besides, the cost of gas to get up here and back... I DID offer to meet some-where but... It's all nothing but a thought. - I did get my QI and ice cream in already... and the house is “taking a chill”. It's time to try the new blinds... and again... FUCKING HOPE FOR A FUCKING NIGHT OF FUCKING SLEEP! THE ONLY THING I DON'T MIND IS IF YONAH NEEDS ME... AND I HOPE HE DOESN'T... NOT BECAUSE IT WOULD DISTURB MY NIGHT, BUT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT *HIM* OR *HIS* NIGHT TO BE DISTURBED. (And NO FUCKING NOISES IN THE WALLS EITHER! I'll have to see how many moth balls I have for up-stairs now.) - OK.. Last smoke, brush teeth... WRAP!

Tue.09.Nov:WHAT A FUCKING DAY! YEAH... TIME TO GET THE ACTUAL FUCK THE FUCK OUT OF THIS SHIT-BOX!!! THE PORCH IS EMPTY AGAIN... IT'S TIME TO FIND A “HOME” AND THIS AIN'T IT!
7.42 SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE !!! I DID SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT... AND... GOT OUT OF BED AT JUST MOMENTS BEFORE 7.00 ! THE BLINDS? WELL... AS EXPECTED, THEY DON'T CUT OUT “ALL” OF THE LIGHT, BUT IT'S QUITE NOTABLY DARKER IN THE BED-ROOM! YES, MONEY WELL-SPENT (THOUGH IT SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO HAVE BEEN SPENT IN THE FIRST PLACE... THE USELESS SHIT-FUCKS IN “GOVERNMENT”. BUT... I WENT RIGHT TO BED, BY ABOUT 23.00 AND MY HEAD WAS ON THE PILLOW, WITH A HACK-HACK, AND OFF... Heard the two alarms, turned them off and dozed. It was really quite delightful, and to be honest, if not for Yonah, I'd more-than-likely STILL be under the blankets, with the blinds closed. And they DO give a “comforting appearance” to the room. Well, inside, they do, Out-side, I noticed, last night, the windows appear almost “black”. But you know? I don't have fuck, shit, care or concern to give any longer. - So here we are... Yonah is “woo-HOO'ing” away on this roof-top already, waters changed, breakfast is on the back gallery, the flag is up, the morning isn't all THAT cold out there, in fact, there's a bit of a “fog”... I'm dressed (and feeling rather some-what heavy-chested-congested this morning), and the day is officially “commenced” and rolling. - A bit of a “dreamlette” this morning:
Dark, cold, dreary, icy, damp, Winter, very early morning. I was in Newburgh, having just gone to stay with Oma (who was never in the dream but it was understood that I was at her house). I was up before dawn and had an appointment for a job interview of some sort and was, I thought, running late. I had NO idea what time it was at the moment, and no clocks to reference. I wasn't sure what time the appointment was for nor, how much time I had to get to it. I wasn't even sure where it was! I had “some address” (un-known in the dream), but wasn't even really sure where it was nor how to get to it. (The “un-known variables” were numerous, to say the least.) I got dressed but had my socks and work boots in a ruck-sack of sorts and headed out the door and onto a city bus that brought me down Broadway and across “Liberty” street, North-bound (though the houses were more “Grand”). I thought I had to get off that bus to transfer at “Grand” (which, of course, doesn't intersect with “Liberty” but that's the dream) and wasn't sure WHERE the stop was. As I sat on the bus, bare-foot, the windows were fogged and there were few people on it. I knew no-one and tried to see out where I was, but couldn't. A woman signalled for the next stop and I THOUGHT it was either “Grand” or close enough to it, so, when the bus stopped, I got up to alight. Stepping out, bare-foot, I stepped on a thin slick of ice and gave a little “push” to slid across and from behind me I heard a young fellow say to the driver “But he has no shoes!” in a some-what concerned tone. The fellow was in his early 20s, he appeared, and of South American descent... Chile, Argentina... well-enough dressed and neat in appearance. The driver appeared to be an “Arab-Hispanic” mix, in his 40s, round-faced, curly black hair, quite “rotund” and sloppily-dressed. The driver replied “I'm the bus-driver here. What the passengers wear or don't is none of my business. He's probably some homeless thing. It's none of my concern.” The young fellow said something in a “disgusted” tone, I didn't quite hear what, and stepped off the bus. He looked more “lost” than I. And we weren't at the “Grand St.” intersection... I sensed we were about 2 stops short. But I was off the bus and standing, bare-foot, on the ice at the pavement. The fellow came over to address me and I thanked him for his “concern” but assured him that I had foot-wear in the ruck-sack. “I'm trying to get to the border.” he said. “I'm supposed to meet some friends there.” I assumed he meant the Canada border and that he was, in fact, an illegal, but his English was accent-free! I said “If you're talking about the border I think you're talking about, you have a LONG way to go from here! You need to take another bus to the end of town and from there, it's STILL a LONG way to go! I'm fine, I'm OK. Thank you for mentioning me to the driver.” The fellow looked at me, obviously grateful for the information on his location and the border and glanced back at the bus which was still at the corner, door open, the driver gawking at the both of us with a disgusted look on his face. “Yeah, but he...” said the fellow, looking at the driver. “Never mind him.” I said and started to say “He's obviously the child of those illegal, invading criminal-types who managed to get a job from some shit-left-winger politician...” and then suddenly realised that the fellow was probably the same! I was both grateful for his notice and concern, compassionate in that he too, was “turned-round” in a town that neither of us wanted to be in, and yet, repulsed by the fact that he was another “invader”. And in that “mood/mode/mind-set”... I woke.
Well! There's a start to a day. - 8.08 I'm typing along here and all the while, Yonah's “bird-songs” are playing, his desk lamp is on, “morning routine” of water changes done and he's been coo'ing ALL the while! - I've a little list of items I'd like to get at today, nothing world-changing, but my chest feels “congested or congealed” at the moment. It's not really “cold” in the house this morning so much as “damp”. And I'll be calling Avery for 100 gals... IF HEAP's been posted to my account. I don't know WHY I dislike calling them for service. Other than the annoyance of the fact that I have to ASK how much it's going to cost... they don't offer “That'll come to x$” so I know how much/little I have left on the account. Oh well... AND... it's going to be interesting to see if they have the “set” to tell me that I have a “balance due” on the gas... since I pay on-line and the last “invoice” they sent e-mail was different from the receipt left by the delivery. Oh... well... - And my guts are churning because of the street-light, “Merrihew”, the cost of the blinds, the fact that there are blinds on the windows at all... the bull-shit-fuckerie that is this shit-box and the Mass-hole, and the “thing next door”. It's all stupid, really, because, well, this is “shelter from the elements”, it's not really all that bad, (I DID manage a sleep-through night), and the annoyances are OUT-side of the house... where they belong. I'm just an “annoyed-type”... I suppose. - That said... moving along and let's see what we actually DO with this day.... Eh? - And Yonah coo's along. - 11.51 For the past hour... HOUR... I've been schmoozing with PETER D.! 2,5 YEARS and FINALLY! And because he came to the PO whilst... McMass-hole and I were “conversating” out on the front porch. OH... THIS is some kind of DAY! McMass knocked on the door! And, of course, is maintaining “social distance” of about a km. Not that I care, mind. But anyway... I'm working on Yonah's site and they've gone about their business. Oh... and the “Brandon” flag? McMass doesn't know what it is and Peter (the JUDGE) said his thoughts are it's too close to the PO BUT... that I'm entitled to express my views... after all... they're the same as the family ... teeheehee. So... OK. - Oh... and Yonah's being particularly ... well... he's coming to his door perch often today. (And I believe he's had a dip in the pool during my absence. AND HE'S PLAYFUL!!! YAY!!!) -
16.38 The porch is now DEVOID OF ALL “personal touches”. The flag is down. The signs are down. The flower boxes are emptied and in the garage... planters and “boxes”. The chair is in the PO shed. The only things left are the hangers for the hummie-feeders. And I've spoke with next-door and it was pleasant. Imagine being told “I'll pay you for the flag and your expenses....” Imagine? No right to personal expression. Welcome to dictatorial New Russia. And SHE, next door says that HE mentioned it to her but... I've a feeling... SHE probably “mentioned” it to him and well... And Mass-hole claims he's a “Republican” who disapproved of “at least the last 4 administrations”. Apparently it's because it “reflects on the PO” and the “New Russia” sign. FUCKKOFF! And I had a LOVELY chat with Anita who came over on her mower to actually schmooze and tell me of the “history” of SO MUCH of the hamlet! Ah... well... maybe it's all for the best... MAYBE I'll find another place to move to? I don't know. BUT... the post went BACK onto Crgslst, with “embellishments”, it's more a “dossier” than a “PLEASE GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” So we shall see. Honestly? If it weren't for Yonah, I'd be in the “BDM” tonight and just “check out”. BUT HE'S MY LIFE NOW... AND WE'LL FIND A BEAUTIFUL PLACE WHERE WE CAN BOTH LIVE OUT OUR TIME IN PEACE. Of ALL the days... the “Brandon” flag arrived yesterday... the Australian (for the 4th December) arrived today... and now... EVERYTHING out front goes back to “slum”.
And Yonah's been SO playful today too! Ah... as I say, HE'S MY LIFE... AND WE'LL BE JUST FINE TOGETHER. - It's getting dark already... Fritatta on the hob. Oh... Mass-hole fucked about with the stove whilst here and said “I don't WANT you to leave but I don't want you to be where you're not happy.” I told him I'd hoped this would be my home... but it isn't any longer and so, I need to find a “home”. “I insist on a full 30-day notice.” was the reply! AND then says he'd look for a better stove “but you might be gone by then.” Oh... jolly fuck off! - I NEED TO STOP! I've got photos for Yonah to post... and a night ahead and the time remaining. FUCK! Packing, moving, hoping the truck holds... just FUCK! Well? At least I haven't gone “all-in-all-out” on this place. - 18.02 Sat to eat at 17.07... and now? Not only is meal done, washing-up done, Yonah's waters are changed, mosses shaken out back. Done. All of it! Under an hour! Yes, I'm “wound”... WOUND! AND... Mass-hole “repaired” the light on the PO (because the PO threatened to hire a contractor and charge HIM, of course) and it's facing the fucking road again. Ah... - And to be quite frank, as I am here, with this Journal.... TONIGHT I'M FEELING *** “HOMELESS” *** AGAIN! OH AND... WHEN I MENTIONED HAVING PAID THE “LAST MONTH'S RENT” TO THE BLOODY MASS-HOLE, HE SAID “I DON'T UNDERSTAND” HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I'M PAID IN ADVANCE! I SEE A *** LOT *** OF *** TROUBLE *** COMING FROM THIS SHIT-SACK !!!
- 20.48 I'm a bit later than I'd expected to be in bed, time for QI. The porch is empty, the 2x4s (white) are on the back gallery. They'll probably go to the garage tomorrow. - I'm just going to live out this Hell until...
Were it not for Yonah... I'd be “out of here” by sun-rise tomorrow. I'd really like to have that martini that's left in the fridge... HELL! I'd LIKE to have SEVERAL tonight. Chanukah, Christmas, New Year... FUCKED! I'm just SO fed-the-fuck-up with this now... So much for “Living the dream”. Oh well... when folks start noticing the empty porch... we'll see how that plays out. Mean-while, we keep “OUR PEACE” IN-SIDE... - I'd swear Yonah senses my aggravation. Precious Little Guy. I have to keep that away from him. (I'm so tempted to sleep on his futon again tonight, to be close to him. He's my sanity... HEY! He's my SOUL! But with hacking and there's no telling WHAT my night is going to be tonight so, better I'm in the other room. - Time to post to the servers, watch QI... and “flush today's shit” away from ME. I've been through this shit before... THIS TIME... I have YONAH! MY BEING! - 21.35 GOT THE PAGES AND PHOTOS ONTO THE SERVER BUT FOR MY JOURNAL HERE... IT WAS A GRAND FUKKUP! CODING WRONG... ADJUSTMENTS... ALL OVER THE PLACE, MULTIPLE TIMES... YEAH... TIME TO GET THE ACTUAL FUCK THE FUCK OUT OF THIS SHIT-BOX. BUT... IT'S DONE... CURRENT... ESPECIALLY YONAH'S... WHICH WENT DELIGHTFULLY WELL... NOW TO “WIND-DOWN”! FUCK THIS DAY. (I'M WONDERING IF McFUKTARD MASSHOLE WILL STOP BY TOMORROW... I DOUBT IT... BUT... FUCK THAT TOO.) - 22.42 Long episode of QI... and now, it's raining out there. How lovely. But, 10° which is OK for the night. TOMORROW night... back to -1 though. - And mean-while... I've dismantled the little signs from the front porch (I think I'll keep them, merely for the sake of the fact that I lettered them and there they are... or... eventually they'll end-up at the skip, how sad... fuck). And I'm still a touch “wound up” over all of this bull-shit. - THERE HAS TO BE A LITTLE 'CABIN' AFFAIR SOME-WHERE IN THE VICINITY THAT SOMEBODY WANTS TO RENT OUT, INEXPENSIVELY... Some little place where Yonah and I can spend days and nights together. I'd LIKE him to have a room all his own, but I'm not counting on it... not locally, anyway. (I did look at that place in Newport, but, it's was in the midst of everything, still, I just might have to consider a return to VT... although, THAT will SURELY “take me out”... with all the shit in the air. I've already got the remnants of 8 years in my lungs... But then, ALL I want it to out-live Yonah... by not more than 24 hours anyway. - So, there we have it. And here I sit, typing, at the kitchen “table” which I wanted to make for almost 2 years and finally did only to have it all come crashing to SHIT! FUCK! Oh, but I put a “poll” out on Twtr asking if it's OK for an absentee landlord to tell a tenant to take the flag down. Aside from one shit-poster... the results are over-whelmingly “NO”. It's just nice to know. (And it might lead to a bit of “doxxing” one of these days... although... on Crgslst... that's more likely... the fucking shit!) - I need to get to bed now... Yonah's tucked-in and will be nice and warm. - Tomorrow, I'll ring Avery and order oil... 100 gals to start and I'll put up with that bull-shit as well. Oh well... So much for the “peace”... - HEY! The Journals are, for the most part, on-line (except this bit from 21.35 to now). YONAH'S JOURNAL AND SITE ARE CURRENT! Nothing more than that, on that point, matters. - Off to TRY for sleep. Fuck.

Wed.10.Nov: 6.54 Not sure HOW this happened, that I'm up and dressed and the birds are fed, and the “whites” are on the soak and here I sit with coffee.... nor WHY... but here I am and so it is. And I'm in from a smoke on the empty porch. And my “general mood” is “dour” with thoughts of packing and moving AGAIN. BUT... here it is and so it is and that's the end of that. - There's better out there. I'll find it. - Last night, head hit the pillow, I fell asleep and about 90 minutes later... CONTRACTIONS. Brief, thankfully. Then, at about 2.30-ish, another. Brace went on, I went back to bed and back to sleep until the first alarm which I turned off and slept until the next which is when I got up. Well? It's a bit of “day-light” out there anyway so... - The aspect that pisses me off here is, well, there are several. For one thing, like this house or not, I didn't see me having to move again. For another, I'm feeling rather then same as I did in VT... some-what “trapped” in a Hell-box. And as I thought before going to bed last night, considering the “history” of this place and what I've heard of this “Alden Harris”... here, at 6690, It's perfectly fine to sell snatch and drugs from the place, but expressing one's views is not. How fucking stupid can... never mind... as it's said these days, “They'll take it as a challenge.” OK. And as I've said before, they're accustomed to trash in this place... let them have it back again. Then too, there's the fucking lies... from Mass-hole's politics, to the nonsense of yesterday “I have to buy 5k$ trucks and not 45k$ trucks or I wouldn't be able to charge 500$ rents!” WHAT A BUCKING OF BULL-SHIT! “Joe White”!!! “I can't buy my children their Christmas presents because you people aren't paying your rent!” OH LOL, fuck. Oh... I need to ride along with this, let it go, blow off in the breeze. Mother said “Learn all you can about all you can and never let anybody else know how much you know.” Oh... IN this shit-box are Yonah and I. IN this shit-box is “US”, and HE is the GREATEST EVENT, COMPANION, I'VE EVER EXPERIENCED. Cats? Dogs? Yes. Delightful, but they're “domestic”, and expected to be “companions”, to bond, some-how. But YONAH? NEVER expected to be with a human, nor to take to a human... and HE OBVIOUSLY HAS DONE... AND BECOME MY ESSENCE OF BEING. HE TRULY *IS* THE GREATEST... AND WE'RE IN HER TOGETHER... NOT “OUT THERE”. And I can't really begrudge New Russia... it isn't “them”, really. I mean, the Demings have been delightful. Anita stopped by to chat last evening, Peter was quite nice yesterday (in fact, VERY understanding). John O. has been MORE than nice, and the father? He too has spoken so nicely. Cliff has been kind-enough. Tom, Deborah... it's not New Russia... but being able to stay here... well... there's the kick. So? So. We'll do something, I'm sure. THERE'S BETTER OUT THERE. - Meanwhile, I've “things” to do, and packing to figure. It's not so much a matter of “how” to pack... I've got a closet PACKED with boxes... it's a matter of WHERE the packed boxes will be for the while. Honestly, the thing that bothers most is the weight of things that came bit-by-bit (futons, bed, the kitchen table) that will have to me moved now. I'm not as “able-bodied” as I was when I came here. Oh... I've done heavier before... This will be just fine. THERE'S BETTER OUT THERE. Yonah and I will be just fine. - Meanwhile (again)... “out there” isn't “in here”, so “in here” WE, Yonah and I, will live our lives, our LIFE, together, as best suits US... and... “FTW”. - Moving along... I'll call for oil today. No sense in letting THAT go. It ain't a season's-worth but... And HEY! I don't have to worry about “credit background checks” any more! - We'll move along. - (I wonder if Mass-hole is still around... Hmmm... FUKKIT!)
7.25 Just noting... just checked with FedLoan... payments resume 31 Jan... nothing more... Otherwise all's “what-ever”.
MORNING CALL! THE DAY COMMENCES!
11.53 WELL! “Encounter with Vt's spore” and when she went to the door, Mme. said, with a stern visage “You'll have to move your car because Jude doesn't it want you to park there. No. Seriously.” Fine.... Fuck you! But I had a bit of a “chat” with the off-shoot and what happens... FUKKITALL! - Then... to FamDoll, smokes, market, ice cream and veggies (mostly), meat for tonight with pasta (sick tomorrow?) and back to go to the river for water. AND... DONE! - BUT YONAH IS PLAYFUL TODAY! TOUCHY AND WING-SNAPS AND ALL! MY LIFE IS FULL... COMPLETE! - And now... to the rest of the day and... it's nice not having anything to do with this shit-box... I'll find so much to fill the day other-wise... thankfully, it appears McMass-hole is gone... but, there's no telling for certain. We'll enjoy what time we have... FUKKITALL! - Oh... Germany flag arrived today too. How sad... but then, I wasn't going to “fly” it out-side any-way... or maybe I ought. AND... BOTH flags are up at the PO and it's closed. Oh... the subtleties. Fucking idiots. - 18.16 JUST SITTING TO MEAL! HAD to go over to “make nice” with the neighbour and learnt...
MASS-HOLE KEPT INSISTING THAT THEY “WHISPER” AND BECKONED HER CLOSER! FUCK! FIRST SIGN OF “LIES”. I TOLD HER HOW HE YELLED AT ME IN ANGER. SHE TOLD ME THAT HE WHISPERED “YOU TELL YOUR FAMILY TO PARK WHERE-EVER THEY WANT.” HE'S INSTIGATING SOMETHING AND NOW WE'RE BOTH AWARE OF IT... SHE SAYS IT'S SENILITY AND THE FACT THAT WE'RE NOT LAUDING HIM BUT WE'RE GETTING ALONG TOGETHER AND TAKING HIS ACCOLADES. (NOT HER TERMINOLOGY BUT THAT'S THE GIST.) AND WHEN I TOLD HER ABOUT THE FRONT PORCH, SHE SAID “HE *REALLY* MUST HAVE PISSED YOU RIGHT OFF!” SO... ALL'S WELL... BUT....
IT GOT DARK SO QUICKLY WHILST WE WERE TALKING AND I REALISED I HADN'T ANY LIGHTS ON IN THE HOUSE AND YONAH WAS ALONE... WITH HIS DOOR OPEN AND... I BOLTED! CAME IN TO A DARK HOUSE AND YONAH? ON HIS LITTLE “NIGHT SPOT”, BIRD-SONGS PLAYING, BY THE LIGHT OF THAT GOD-FORSAKEN STREET-LIGHT! I FELT A RIGHT SHIT FOR LETTING THIS HAPPEN! BUT HE APPEARED TO BE OK WITH THINGS... MY GREATEST RELIEF WAS TO FIND HIM, QUITE SETTLED, ON HIS PERCH, WHERE HE SPENDS A NIGHT. BUT THE VERY THOUGHT OF HAVING LEFT HIM ALONE AS THE HOUSE DARKENED ATE AT MY HEART! I'VE ALWAYS BEEN HERE FOR HIM, AS THE DAYS DARKEN, BUT TONIGHT, THE HOUSE GREW DARK AND THERE WAS NOBODY AROUND! WHAT A SHIT I TRULY WAS! - WHAT MADE IT ALL THE MORE TOUCHING... AS I WALKED INTO HIS ROOM, APOLOGISING ALL THE WAY, THERE WAS THAT LITTLE “HOO!” HE MAKES WHEN I WALK INTO THE ROOM! SO I PUT THE DESK LAMP ON SO THAT HE COULD SEE THAT IT WAS ME IN THE ROOM AND I PUT MY FACE IN NEXT TO HIM, APOLOGISING FOR MY IRRESPONSIBILITY AND... HE SNUGGLED ONTO MY FACE !!! HE WAS OBVIOUSLY HAPPY TO SEE ME THERE... HIS “FLOCK” WAS BACK, HE WASN'T ALONE ANY MORE! I IMMEDIATELY GOT TO THE “EVENING ROUTINE”... SOMETHING THAT'S BECOME SO FAMILIAR TO HIM NOW, AT THIS TIME OF DAY/EVENING... AND AS I DID... I LITERALLY THREW SOME WATER, FRANKS AND VEGGIES INTO A POT, PUT THE POT ON THE HOB AND GOT RIGHT BACK TO YONAH! IT WAS, BY NOW, ALREADY WELL AFTER 18.00 SO THE “TIME” WAS OK, BUT THE “TIME OF DAY”... ON YONAH'S “CLOCK” WAS OFF. STILL... HE APPEARED TO BE OK WITH THE “GLITCH”. I GOT HIS WATERS CHANGED, TOOK HIS MOSSES OUT FOR A “SHAKE” AND WHEN ALL WAS RE-SETTLED, I GOT TO MY OWN MEAL... AND LET YONAH “RE-SETTLE” AFTER HAVING BEEN DISTURBED “IN THE NIGHT”. BUT I'LL NEVER GET OVER THIS! AND I WON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN! TO BE SURE! THANKFULLY, BY “TUCK-IN” TIME... HE APPEARED TO BE QUITE FINE WITH WHAT-EVER HAD HAPPENED... (BUT I DOUBT I EVER WILL BE... WHAT A SHIT I AM!)
20.24 I HAVE to cut this short here and work on “catch-up” tomorrow... the late meal set me back and now I'm tired... just took evening pills. Thankfully, the -3 in the forecast for tonight was changed to -1... still not exactly “toasty” and still a “minus” but even those 2 degrees are appreciated. AND OIL WILL COME WEDNESDAY-WEEK! 100 GALLONS... 344$ FUCK! BUT... Mid-November... and the little radiators are keeping the place “OK” in this chill... SURE, come the actual COLD, they won't stand a chance... I've learnt that already. But Yonah's room will ALWAYS be easier to warm and keep warm, I'm OK with 18-20° in the house because I can always put something warmer on. So I'll do my best to stretch the 100 gallons as far as possible... IF the cost doesn't become completely insane (and I'm expecting it to do just that...), even at 4$/gallon, there's JUST enough left on the account to cover that... Last year I managed to get through on nothing more than 750$... let's hope it goes the same for this year. (I do have something left of the “loan”, but even at 350, which it is now... is only, at CURRENT price, another 100 gallons... and that's not “comforting”. - Anyway... It really is time for “QI AND AWAY”... MAYBE “FUTON” (to keep my PRECIOUS COMPANION COMPANY THROUGH THE NIGHT), MAYBE “BED”... I'LL KNOW WHEN I GET TO WHERE I GET TO (when I get to where I've gotten to at the time). - 22.30 QI done. Tin of peaches done. Finished-off the ice cream. Had 2 PopTarts. I don't know WHY I do all that junk eating, though peaches are, I suppose, not really “junk” but still... come the evening... it's a habit now. I'm “peckish” but not “hungry” but I eat anyway... I suppose it's better than drinking... oh... the “old days”. Anyway... time to wrap this day away!!! Good riddance!

Thu.11.Nov: (10.49 catching-up on notes from this morning... after catching-up with Yonah's Journal and yesterday's entry... The sun has come up... and is shining through a “cold haze”. The bloody PO is closed for the “holiday”... FUCKING HYPOCRITES! “VETERANS” HAVE FOUGHT AND MANY, GIVEN THEIR LIVES, TO KEEP A COUNTRY OF “FREEDOM” SAFE... AND HERE I SIT... UN-ALLOWED TO EXPRESS MY OPINION! FUCKING HYPOCRISY! FUKKEMALL! And there's my sentiments on the day... MOVING ALONG...)
6.30 and out-side I see on the météo... -3/-5°! OO! There's a bit more than mere “frost on them punkins” this morn! And “up” to 0° by about 8.00 and topping-off at a high of 8° at 13.00! WELL! At least the little radiators are keeping it “tolerable” in the house, in spite.
*** AND LO! AND BEHOLD! AND SHIT! AND A FUCK! I SEE THAT THE RENT CHEQUE WAS CASHED/PAID ON THE 9th! HOW “INTERESTING”... ON THE VERY DAY OF THE “INVASION” AND THE BARRAGE OF INSULTS! TAKE THE FUCKING MONEY AND REMOVE * CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS” AS HAVE BEEN INSCRIBED IN THE FOUNDING DOCUMENTS OF THE NATION! THE BLOODY HYPOCRISY OF THIS SHIT-BOX! JUST THE FUCKING, BLOODY HYPOCRISY! TAKE THE FUCKING MONEY AND THE MASS-HOLE ROLLS IN! Hmmmmm.... I WONDER. AND I'M STILL REMEMBERING THE COMMENT MADE TO PETER, “HE'S ON A 30-DAY...”. OH... BUT I DO SEE SHIT ON THE WALK TO THE FUTURE! Ms. NEIGHBOUR SAYS IT'S “SENILITY”. I SEE IT AS MENTAL AND MORAL FUCKERY AND I DON'T LIKE IT! (I'LL HAVE TO CHECK INTO “HUD”... SEE WHAT, IF ANYTHING, I'LL HAVE TO FORFEIT... FOR THE SAKE OF A “GOVERNMENT LEASE”... AT LEAST THE “RULES AND REGULATIONS” WILL BE SET-DOWN AND “INTRUSIONS” WILL NOT ONLY BE AGAINST ME BUT THE BUREAUCRACY. IT WOULD SERVE THAT SHIT-SACK A TONNE OF RIGHT! SAD THOUGH, THAT TODAY'S A “HOLIDAY”... “HOLIDAY” MY FUCKING ARSE. GOOD MEN AND PATRIOTS FOUGHT BATTLES, MANY GAVE THEIR LIVES TO DEFEND A COUNTRY THAT WAS... *WAS* FOUNDED ON A “FIRST AMENDMENT” RIGHT, WRITTEN, DOCUMENTED, TO ASSURE THE *RIGHT* OF EVER CITIZEN TO FREELY EXPRESS ONE'S OPINIONS, POLITICAL, RELIGIOUS AND OTHER-WISE... AND YET... A FUKTARD BENT ON NARCISSISM ROLLS IN AND ANNIHILATES THAT RIGHT! WELL, THAT'S THE WAY I SEE IT ANYWAY... BUT, THERE ARE OPTIONS... I JUST HAVE TO INVESTIGATE... AND SO, THAT GIVES ME A LITTLE SOMETHING ELSE TO “OCCUPY MY TIME”. MEANWHILE....
I am up and about, reluctantly, dressed, having coffee, the birds have been served breakfast (no flag to hoist... fukkit), and have had morning smoke on the empty porch. It doesn't FEEL too cold, but there we have it. Yonah's sand is finally in a 500F oven this morning. The banque accounts have all been “reconciled” and “balanced”. This morning is rolling along. - 6.44 I'm typing away and... “MORNING CALL”! YONAH'S UP AND ABOUT EARLY THIS MORNING! OFF WE GO! MY LITTLE GUY IS UP AND ABOUT! YAY! - 11.18 OK THEN! THIS was a fascinating morning... I'D NO SOONER DONE WITH “MORNING ROUTINE” AND RETURNED TO THE KITCHEN TO GET INTO THE “CATCH-UPS” THAT NEEDED BE DONE ON JOURNALS AND SUCH BECAUSE I WAS JUST SO TIRED LAST NIGHT.. WHEN, AS I SAT THERE, I HEARD THE “WHISTLE” AND “RUFFLE” OF WINGS O'ER HEAD! YONAH WAS QUITE ON THE MOVE! AND HE'D HEADED OUT TO THE LIVING-ROOM! AH... BUT WHEN I WENT TO CHECK ON HIM, TO MAKE CERTAIN THAT HE WAS OK... THERE HE WAS, *PERCHED ON THE RIM OF ONE OF THE VOTIVES ON THE “CHANUKIAH”! HONESTLY, IT NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE! THOSE TOES BENT OVER THE RIM, AND HIS LITTLE BODY JUST PERFECTLY BALANCED AS SUCH. HE WAS ACTUALLY COMFORTABLE! AND SO I SAT AT THE EDGE OF THE FUTON AND CHATTED WITH HIM AND “SMOOCHED” AND HE JUST REMAINED THERE. WHEN I SAW THAT HE WAS “SATISFIED” WITH HIS LOCATION, I WENT BACK TO THE KITCHEN TO PICK-UP WHERE I'D LEFT-OFF AND... IT WAS ABOUT AN HOUR LATER WHEN HE “WHISTLED” HIS WAY BACK HOME! I'M THRILLED THAT HE'S SO FAMILIAR WITH THIS HOUSE AND SO COMFORTABLE WITH LEAVING HIS ROOM! SHAME, REALLY, THAT WE TRULY DO NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF AND AWAY FROM THIS SHIT-BOX... HE'LL HAVE TO RE-ADJUST TO A NEW SURROUNDING. BUT THEN, IN THE WILD, HE'D DO THE SAME... AND THE BEST I CAN HOPE FOR IS THAT HE'LL BE SATISFIED WITH KNOWING THAT, NO MATTER WHERE WE ARE, WE'LL BE TOGETHER AND THAT I'LL ALWAYS CONTINUE TO PROVIDE HIM WITH SAFE, COMFORTABLE AND HEALTHY SHELTER. (OH BUT MY REPULSION WITH THAT CRAGGED OLD BIT OF FUKTARD INCREASES AND DEEPENS, LIKE A MALIGNANT TUMOUR IN THE MOOD. FUKKIM!) - ANYWAY... yes, this is a holiday and no PO today... thankfully. And I DID kick the furnace for a moment, just to take the over-all “chill” out of the rest of the house. I'm at Yonah's work table, the door to his room is open... the temperature is 22,9° so that's not bad. His sands have been “roasted”. The sun is shining through thickening “haze” and Yonah is on his roof. Bird-songs are playing... thus far, all is “fine”... with the exception of me wanting another snooze... I took a 40-minute earlier but I'm REALLY feeling most fatigued today... chest congestion too... Most-likely the aggravation and anxiety of this shit-box. (11.28 Yonah's returned to the house... the sun's dimming... the “haze” is more “cloud” now... and he's coo'ing at the bird in the mirror. MY MOST PRECIOUS LITTLE GUY!) - I've a bit of a “market list” too... I'd rather not bother but... I ought to at some point. But it's only 11.29... the 0° isn't due for a while, and I'm caught-up with Journals... I've photos from this morning for Yonah's... and time to get to it all... yeah... and Yonah's having lunch... I've got 30 minutes... off to nap! Because... I CAN! (I have THAT liberty left, at least.) - 16.52 Calendar for 2022 done. article to next-door. Bob-the-son-in-law said “Must be the eviction notice” FUCK THEM DeadArtist.de renewed. Marinara made. More later... I'm ROLLIN'! - 18.01 I was still putting pasta into the dish and sauce a-top at 17.05 but... (I didn't make enough past but never mind) and now... Washing-up is COMPLETE including putting dishes up AND Yonah's waters have been change, mosses shaken, his windows are closed for the night... - 18.45 Yonah is tucked-in, the house is “settled”... I'm a little amazed but... Anyway.... - Particulars... - I DID manage to get to the market, and ONLY the market at about noon-ish(?). Quite a bit sickening... there were more people there than I'd expected and the MAJORITY were roaming about “masked”! WTAF is WRONG with these dolts? I've little doubt that they're all the “vaxxed”... and my personal thought is that the “vax” ingredients are working on destroying their bodies... and brain matter. They're “dead above the shoulders”... which is exactly what I believe to be the primary cause for Mass-hole's insanity. (It's just a matter of time before it gets to “next-door”... and she's got a hefty start... being a “Lib” anyway... but... let's never mind that for now. BIG SHIT is about to HIT THE EVERYTHING! So I believe.) So I got spices and such for the “marinara sauce” that I made to go with pasta tonight. (I just wanted beef... and minced is the only way I can eat it now... having almost no teeth with which to chew other-wise.) Got a few other items as well... and was back on the road and back to YONAH! - Oh, and before that, I DID manage a snooze. - When I got back, I got to work and managed to get the “prelim pages” done for the 2022 calendar... holidays, “special” notes... and then went and checked the “renewals” for domains and such to put them on as well... and as I was checking them, I re-newed “DeadArtist.de” for another year! (It was due on 4 December but I have the money... well... almost but...) I also managed to get that “Adk Life” article about Nell printed and popped next-door to give it to ... The spore and son-in-law were there. (I could tell anyway because the ABSOLUTE STENCH came wafting into Yonah's room during the day! Fucking SHITS... the entire lot... especially that Mass-hole for not stopping it. (All the more incentive to get the fuck out of here! It's going into Yonah's room! FUCK FUCK FUCK! One of these days maybe I'll get to talk to somebody about a law suit... but if anything happens to Yonah? I'm out of here any way... but not before a nice “note” to the public goes out... with NAMES and ADDRESSES! I'll be dead that the internet will know and tell why.) OK... moving along... I knocked on Ms. Trash's door and they were all in the kitchen. She looked out and I waved the pages. She opened the door and said “Bob looked and said 'It's the eviction notice.” I, not understanding at the moment said “Oh no... Me first, then you.” After, I thought “Oh... They're probably all HOPING I'll get one. Fuckshits. Oh well... (Mass-hole took the rent for November and I'm paid through December so... Give me my money... which I KNOW he won't do anyway. But, should and eviction come, I'll be toddling into the courts... Let's see how it rolls then. AND ... public messages. Winter? No real cause? Over 2 years? 30-day notice? In THIS economic environment? OKIE DOKIE. LET'S GO... BRANDON! NOT to mention the denial of 1st Amendment rights. Well, it would make a nice “public interest story”... ANYWAY... I left the article and came back to Yonah. - By 16.00 I was in the kitchen, throwing the ingredients together for the sauce. Olive oil, spices, the meat, a bit of water and done! On the hob... I went back to Yonah's room to “wrap things up” before meal time. 16.30 pasta in a pot of water. (I didn't pay attention to the quantity of pasta and really didn't make enough but, the sauce has a bit of “Italian Mix” veggies, mostly carrots, of course, and there was quite a lot of it so...) Slice of bread to soak the sauce... had washed dishes as I went along so when I'd done eating, there were so few to do... I did those, had a bit of ice cream and... AND... BEFORE 18.00... I WAS COMPLETELY DONE... left-over sauce in fridge, washing-up and I was ready to get to Yonah's “evening routine”! WELL... got right on that too and... here we are! Yonah's tucked-in, his Journal is typed, the house here is settled... the shit next-door is fucking about the walls... - OH... MUST to mention: this morning, Ms. Next-door made a wash and it did gurgle-up in the loo basin... TODAY... BOILING WATER AND LYE! (Oh... but it did make a bit of a mess when it blew back, I had to wipe the basin and the floor and ALMOST gave my hand a bit of a burn but, thankfully, managed to dodge that... still...) BOILING WATER AND LYE down the drain! And when I'd done that... and flushed it... MORE LYE DOWN THE TOILET! Will it help? Probably not much... the plumbing in this place isn't “vented”... save for my loo basin. OH... the reminder of Rockaway! Shame shit, pretty much... ANOTHER incentive to GTAFO! - That said... my heart is heavy with ache... POOR YONAH! The fucking cigarette smoke, the noise of the banging/tapping on the wall, the fumes from the furnace and the lye... FUCK THESE SHITS! REALLY! THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING CIVIL AND APPROPRIATE OUT THERE! THERE JUST HAS TO BE! I NEED TO GET HIM TO A BETTER PLACE... SOON! I MEAN... THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS THAT HE WON'T BE AROUND FOR “20 YEARS”... AND WHEN HE “GOES”... *WE* GO... I'LL BE RIGHT WITH HIM... RIGHT AFTER. BUT THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING, SOME PLACE... WHERE WE CAN BE AT HEALTHY PEACE! - OK... it's 19.12 now... hopefully that thing next-door will settle down. It's 7° now... OH... when I'd gone to market... the thermometer in the truck read 13°!!! WOOHOO! NOT the 8 that was forecast! Anyway... it's 7/6° now... 5/2° for tonight! WOOHOOOOOO-YEAH! Rains might start at 3.00 tomorrow morning... and the high of 10° for then! Next Tuesday looks rough... with 3 high and -3 low... Oil due on Wednesday... Saturday... 2/-3 which is chilly but we're making it through worse. Long-term... OK... SNOW on the 19th-22nd. November's here! BUT... we're doing really well thus far... we'll do just as well no matter what. AND, the new sheets are due Monday or Tuesday... so there'll be MORE INSULATION at the windows in Yonah's room and the bed-room! The fucking rent is paid through December... We'll be just fine. - And before I end this... I had a thought earlier...
This shit-box is assessed at 84,5... I'm paying 6k/yr in rent which means I could pay that on a mortgage... I wonder... I just ponder... Taxes are about 2k/yr though... but I COULD swing that... It would be tight but... Or... I could easily afford a 10yr. mtg for 60k at this rate... As I say... a ponder.
Time to get things onto servers... I'm behind in that and it would be nice to wrap that up tonight... - More later... no doubt... I still have to take the 20.00 pills... in about 27 minutes! KRISTE! THE TIME! THE TIME! THE TIME! - 20.02 Pills just took... Yonah's pages and photos ready to post... Now this to be coded... then ALL posted to servers and... QI, something to nosh... AND TO BED! (Last night... TWO “episodes”... I was glad to be in the bed-room and NOT disturbing Yonah... but oddly enough... and I forgot to mention... at nap... ANOTHER FUCKING CONTRACTION! NOW... DURING THE DAY‽ WTAF‽ Anway... I want to get this posted... Will post the “sign-off” on today, next time.) - I HOPE I CAN GET TO BED AT A CIVIL HOUR AND SLEEP! At least the blinds really are helping! - 22.12 It's later than I thought (2 episodes of “XL”, oh well). And it's damp tonight. Chilly, but more damp. AND THERE'S A LITTLE INSECT, JUST THE ONE, THAT APPEARS TO HAVE QUITE LONG LEGS, LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE BROWNISH “ANGEL” FLYING ABOUT IN THE LIGHT FROM THAT REPULSIVE, SICKENING STREET LIGHT. I'VE SEEN IT (OR ONE OF THEM) BEFORE. THIS IS NOVEMBER! INSECTS FLYING AT NIGHT IN NOVEMBER? I'D LUV TO SEE WHAT IT IS. POOR THING... OUT THERE IN THIS COLD. - Oh well... it's me and my eternal desire to bring the “little ones” in out of the cold. Oh... incurable. - Well... off to bed. Tomorrow is a day of... “things”. I DID manage to get all the Journals up to-date though... ESPECIALLY YONAH'S. (When he goes... this will be all over and done. But, I'd like to see him live long... as long as I can provide for him.)

Fri.12.Nov: 8.11 DRAGGED out of the bed at about 6.30 and, well... 10°! NOT BAD! BUT... RAIN! It's supposed to stop after noon and thankfully, the temperatures aren't supposed to plummet so... - Got my “morning routine” over and done including smoke on the porch and e-mail. ALSO... LOOKED INTO “HUD”... AND I'M GOING TO GIVE THEM A CALL... GET A FUCKING LEASE AND PUT THE SCREWS TO THE OLD MASS-HOLE. AND SEE WHERE IT GOES FROM THERE. I COULD KNOCK MY RENT DOWN BY ABOUT 170$ IF IT'S 30% OF INCOME. AND IF IT HITS THE OTHER STUFF? SO BE IT. AND THEN WE'LL RUN IT FROM THERE. LET HIM DEAL WITH GOVERNMENT. I CAN'T REALLY CARE AT THIS JUNCTURE. AND THEN I CAN “SAVE-UP” FOR BETTER HOUSING... A *HOME* INSTEAD OF THIS “MOTEL RENTAL”, AS THIS PLACE FEELS NOW. HEY! IT NEVER HURTS TO ASK. - MEAN-WHILE... YONAH IS UP AND ABOUT AND HIS “MORNING ROUTINE” IS COMPLETE... Poor Little Guy... dreary out-side his window this morning. But he appears to be in good spirits and I've decided: the new “curtains” will be his... I can move panels from his window to the bed-room and still have the extra 2 panels for... what-ever. But his outer wall and windows will be fresh, new and insulating! All I need, maybe, is 2 more sheers... and I can take those out of the cash on the calendar. So there! Keep my HEART nice and safe and warm. THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. - I'm really not in the “happiest frame of mind” this morning... obviously, having to think about the Mass-hole first thing in the morning. And that one, next-door. But... we'll move along. - I'm in a mood and mind-set to simply take the window lights down too... turn this place into a virtual mortuary... from the out-side. We shall see... we just shall. I've been in worse (OH... the North Star!), and have made the “best” of that so... - OK. Nothing on the “agenda” for today other than some computer-works. No “travel”, other than Yonah's sheers and that doesn't MUST be done today. (Odd... I don't want to be bolloxed with head-board, chairs... nothing. Oh well... I just wish I could get to packing and planning on moving out of and away from here, to a little cabin in the wood-lands. Stuff to ponder... It's on the mind and in the heart... “It's out there.” It's out there. - Moving along... and moving along... as it is with a day. - My stomach's “off” again, today, too. Aggravation. I don't need or want this shit. But... it's not the “Shelter”... and it's not the “North Star”... and the “lunatic” isn't holding the lease (Silas). I suppose “life” is OK... No... NO! LIFE IS GRAND... YONAH'S IN THE NEXT ROOM... HAVING BREAKFAST AND WE'LL BE TOGETHER... ON OUR OWN. FTW! - (His curtains are due on Monday... WOOHOO... on Wednesday comes the oil for the heat. We BOTH have plenty of food in the house. We're GOOOOOD!) - 16.05 IT RAINED ALL DAY UNTIL... NOW... AS THE SUN DROPS BEHIND THE BRADY HOUSE! BUT... YONAH AND I HAD THE ENTIRE DAY TOGETHER... and I've been combining and parsing ALL of Yonah's photos... and now they're ALL (and I mean *ALL*) backed-up onto the 1T and 2T drives! Backed-up and the back-up is backed-up! And it's hovered at about 22-23° in Yonah's room all day so it's been “comfy”... “comfy” enough for him to have taken a DIP IN THE POOL! WOO-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Indeed! - I had ONE nap all day, this morning from about 10.45-11.15 and when I woke from that, checked the post. The Bavarian flag arrived, so ALL the flags are here (I believe). BUT... there was a “yellow card” in the box again... Well... Robin and Robert were in the office so I asked Robin if she wanted to get rid of what-ever the “parcel” is and she'd already transmitted. No prob. Though, when I got back in, I checked... it's the tubing! THAT FITS IN THE BOX! Honestly! Oh well... I thought that maybe Yonah's new curtains (6 new sheets) had come and it was a large box. No prob. But I'm rather certain there's some “fall-out” about it to come because of the address and such. Alas and oh well... I'm NOT going to argue... if that's the case. SHE NEEDS to learn the troubles of the USPS. - Meanwhile, Yonah's NatSpec has been on. Water changed post-bathe. AND HE WAS ALL OVER THE ROOM TODAY! OH SO ACTIVE! AND WE GOT A FEW PLAY-TIMES IN AS WELL! THAT MAKES MY DAY, HEART, SOUL... LIFE! - Time, already, to get to “meal”. Noodles and marinara. And after? What-ever... the day is done... and thankfully... it passed well-enough in this shit-box. - Bird-songs all day too. (And we just got through ANOTHER play-time... He's enjoying “fighting” with my fingers as I scratch in his sand.) - Yeah... it's been a GREAT day, all told. - Sheets/curtains are due on Monday. I have some working and figuring with the sheers though. Because of how the blinds HAD to be installed... there's little-to-no-space for sheers! SHIT! I'll think of something... it's the final out-come now and I don't care HOW! The tubing will just get put in Yonah's shelf. I have a JUG of vinegar to clean the other tubing in the mean-while. - And tomorrow? SATURDAY! I go no-where and Yonah and I have ANOTHER day together! HEAVEN! - 18.53 And Yonah is tucked-in for the night... KISSES AND ALL! BUT WAIT! Directly from HIS Journal:
By 18.00... all was done, Yonah's room was “settled”... I even closed his blinds and curtains before the night's chill managed to make a way in. I'd gone to the kitchen to jot here, on his Journal, to add to the record of the day's events when....
FLUTTERS AND WHISTLES ... YONAH WAS IN FLIGHT! HE CAME OUT OF HIS ROOM, CIRCLED ME, AS I SAT AT TABLE AND I LOOKED UP JUST IN TIME TO SEE HIM HEAD BACK TO HIS HOUSE!
When I got in to him, he was back in, settled, as if he'd been there all along. Ah... IT WAS TIME TO DIM THE LIGHTS, PUT THE BOARDS UP... IT WAS TIME TO WIND THE DAY DOWN! AND HE CAME OUT TO FIND ME AND LET ME KNOW! And... so I did. AND I MANAGED TO PICK HIM UP AND HOLD HIM TO ME, IN MY HANDS, AGAINST MY CHEST, TO NESTLE MY CHIN GENTLY AGAINST HIM... HE MADE NO EFFORT TO LEAVE! HE KNOWS... HE KNOWS THAT I'M HERE TO PROTECT, LOVE AND CHERISH HIM! SO, for a few, brief moments, I spoke to him and when he wanted to go back to his house, he let me know with a little “twitch”. I went to his door, opened my hands and he simply flew back to his perch. When I put my face into his door... HE SNUGGLED AGAINST IT! HE KNOWS...
“Instinct” would tell him that I, a human, mean him harm, I'm not to be trusted, I'm to be avoided (and with damned-perfectly-good reason... Mourning doves... the number ONE in highest numbers SHOT, MURDERED... for “fun”... for “sport”... it makes my stomach churn just to think of it)... But after being together with me for just over a year now... HE KNOWS... it's not “instinct”... HE KNOWS, and I will, forever, DEFY, VEHEMENTLY, ANY one who claims differently.
I'm just still in AWE... AND, that I got SNUGGLES AND KISSES before turning his lights out for the night! OH! My HEART AND SOUL... right there, in that little bundle of LIFE! - I'm in from a smoke, on the front porch, and a fog-bank came up the road, off the river, I suppose. The “cold” felt good. It's not “warm” out there, but it isn't horribly cold either. (It's suppose to get quite chilly tonight and the next few nights... THANKFULLY Yonah's curtains should be here on Monday (and of course, in the evening, but I'll make certain to have them up ASAP... I HOPE they won't NEED washing, though, I'd like to wash them before putting them up... we'll see what arrives...). Oil is due on Wednesday so there'll be “back-up” heating, should the nights drop too low. - But a thought that gnaws at me is the “moving”... having to put Yonah in the truck and travelling. Well? He handled the trip to Ray Brook quite well. I'll have to figure out how to get HIS new space together so that there's no “shock” in the difference. (I'm STILL planning on calling HUD though... and just change THIS place. I'd rather NOT move Yonah from here now... especially since he KNOWS his way around... It just makes me SO BITTER against all this “uncontrollable bull-shit”. People! What a complete WASTE of what SHOULD be a “beautiful world”! What a fucking, miserable waste! - Anyway, it's Friday night... “Shabbat”. Time to shed the wicked, hold to the “Beauty”... in the next room... the DIVINE GLORY of that Little One. We're protected from the elements... his room is safe, warm, he has food, water... protection... LOVE, ADORATION... and I'll be winding the day down soon. - I could stand a shower tonight... we'll see. What-ever. I'm not “bad” (yet), but it would be a nice touch. Still... I can take one at any time. Tonight, I'm only going to bed... and soon... In an hour, I'll take “evening pills”... we'll see what comes of that. - I'm relieved to know that all Yonah's photos are backed-up and safe. It was a whole day of working on them, but they're good and safe now. (I dread to think of the day when they'll be “memories”... but those “memories” won't linger long... when Yonah's not here... neither will I be. I watched his “Anniversary Video” for a bit again, today... We've come SUCH A LONG WAY... TOGETHER! I wouldn't be here typing this tonight... had we not.) - I'm going to post this and Yonah's to the servers now... - 19.34 (I feel like 21.34...) Yonah's pages are coded... this one's next... then all to the servers and... I'm about to wrap this night... pills early and me in bed early... (and I'll probably be punished with the torture of contractions... for trying to get to sleep earlier than... oh well... so be it...). - 20.06 YONAH'S SITE IS NOW LINKED FROM THE “HOME” PAGE OF “LOUP NORDIQUE” !!! THAT was my “extra” for tonight. (Tomorrow... I need to re-work the DNR/LIVING WILL too! I NEED to get that!) And pills taken AT 20.00. ALL up on the servers and that's the end of THIS day! QI. Nosh. DONE! - 22.55

Sat.13.Nov: 9.36 to table... Up shortly after first alarm... AT ABOUT 6.50... TOO CLOSE TO 7.00! UP AND RUNNING! And YONAH? YONAH WAS UP AND READY TO HIT THE DAY EVER-SO SHORTLY AFTER 7.00! SO... even before I'd had the chance to finish “first coffee”, we were at the “morning routine”... waters and such! But.... BUT, it was a GLORIOUS way to start this cold, damp, grey, dreary morning! AND... AND... after I'd done with all the running back and forth and had finally come to sit at the table to get to the internet business of the day... at about 8.00, AS I was sitting there... HE CAME FLYING OUT, INTO THE KITCHEN, TO CHECK TO SEE IF I WAS THERE! FLEW INTO THE KITCHEN, ROUND ABOUT ME AND BACK INTO HIS ROOM. IT SEEMS HE'S DOING THAT NOW... JUST CHECKING TO SEE IF I'M HERE, AND WHEN HE SEES ME, HE GOES BACK TO HIS HOUSE. IMAGINE? ME? I'M THRILLED THAT HE DOES IT. IT SHOWS THAT HE *** KNOWS *** HOW AND WHERE TO LOOK FOR ME! THIS IS ONE BRILLIANT LITTLE GUY! - Well, Robin was open at the PO early again, this morning, and I stepped out at about 8.40 for a smoke and the flags were up and as I stood on the front porch, the guy with the pony tail pulled up and went in. On his way, he said “You're still here!” (I wonder what, exactly, was meant by that... I don't know who he is, and/or whether it's because the porch is so empty, but... he seemed “glad” to see me.) He said “We see you when the weather is warm but when it gets cold, I guess you hibernate.” To his first comment, I replied “Yes, to the chagrin of some, I'm sure.” but to the following I replied that I'd be more active, come the actual cold. He said “I guess you're a 'chinophile'... which isn't an insult. I think that's how it's pronounced.” So I said I'd look it up. (And so I did, but he'd left by that time... it's “an organism that thrives in the coldest of situations”. Live and learn. I found it sounded more like someone interested in things 'china'. Anyway, as I replied to him “Put 'phile' after any word and it sounds like an insult, these days.” We laughed.) - So, I DID drop into the PO to get the “parcel” and when I did, Robin was busy, and she seems quite “annoyed” with me, some-how... I've NO doubt it's because of Mass-hole but... FUKKIT! So I told her that I understand how it can get crowded in such a small office and that I was merely offering to take the parcel, had it been large. She claimed to understand and said that she would have given it had she not closed the scanner. Fine... done. THEN I NOTICED THAT IT WAS ADDRESSED TO THE PO BOX! IT WOULD HAVE FIT IN THE BOX SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK NECESSITATED THE YELLOW CARD! BUT... STUPID CAN'T BE FIXED. If she's got a bug up her arse, fine... and come Winter, she'll be trudging through the snows... should John not get to plough before her arrival. I don't care any more. - I'm feeling a bit “off” this morning. There are things to do, but “focus” is bouncing about. I'm just “off”. That's the only way I can think to describe it. - The forecast is for RAIN ALL DAY. - 9.39 There's just the slightest bit of sun trying to get through the clouds. Nothing of value, so Yonah's NatSpec stays on. Ah... Yonah too, seems a bit “off” this morning as well. He's being quite “vociferous” though, and on his roof already, but he's just not “quite” him-self. - Thankfully, his room is at 21,8°, but there's a definite “chill”... Time to kick the furnace... just for a brief moment. - 13.29 I did kick the furnace... for the extra degree or so, and it DID make quite a welcome difference! - I'd had a bit of a nap and when I woke, I didn't want to get back to the lap-top and such and there's really nothing else to be done for a Saturday so... YONAH'S SHEERS ARE NOW “STRUNG”. It wasn't quite as difficult as I'd anticipated, but I DID notice that the windows aren't exactly the same as each-other. The framing is ... let's call it “off”. Milimetres here and there, and it shows when looking at the blinds. I put both at the “same point” on both windows but they're not flush with one-another. Fucking idiot... “I'm a contractor.” You're a piece of shit! But let's never mind the obvious for now... the important bit is that the sheers are settled. Come Monday, we'll see about the new curtains. And I've resolved that Yonah gets all 6 of the panels (sheets) and I'll just take his old ones and add them to the bed-room. I'll still have 2 left... “open” at the hem for curtains, and I really have no other windows to put them on or add them to so... there they are. MAYBE I'll use them as... imagine this... “sheets”? We shall see. But I'm glad I got the sheers up. (I hope the string holds!) And THEN, because I had Yonah's house away from the windows and saw it was needed, I Hoovered... his room and quickly through the rest of the house. So much for “Shabbat”. Oh well. - And the rains fall, the skies are dark grey. Yonah has been on his “door perch” as I was at the work table. Bird-songs are playing. I lit the terracotta heater for a bit, just to take some damp-chill out. It didn't do a LOT of good, but ANY extra heat is something in this place. - Earlier, the carrier and some guy were in the PO after closing. They removed the old, original “case” and replaced it with something that looks more like something they dragged out of the skip. Not, mind, that I give a shit. I wonder though, for an office they want, so desperately to close. Oh well... It's been said that the zip code will remain... but only for PO Boxes... like Walker Valley, no matter what. They'll close the office and keep the boxes. Yeah? Well...
I'm finding it over-abundantly annoying that, just as was the case in VT when I put up decorations in Sheldon Creek, I was told I couldn't “decorate” the post office... and NOW I'm being told I can't put up what I want in a place where I'm PAYING to reside, as a private citizen/resident... BECAUSE OF THE BLOODY-FUCK-FUCKING POST OFFICE! Reasons to get the actual fuck out of here... Box 1.
OH, but it fucks with my mind, mood and attitude... thinking how Yonah has become accustomed to this place and now I'm thinking of moving! Because of bull-shit fuktardz! Well... FUCK THE LOT OF THEM! (And I'm pondering removing the lights and just packing them back in the box. I'm NOT going to be “decorating” the porch at all so... FUKKEM! I wouldn't even invite them to eat shit. - 18.46 I was working on the Journals for both of us... I'd been so “distracted” with other things today... the “Passwords” spread-sheet (didn't finish that work), and other things... and then, two naps. It really was, as far as I'm concerned, a “wasted” sort of day, but then again, there was nothing I wanted to do, other-wise (since my “interest” in this shit-box is confined to the interior and even then, it's Yonah and his comforts). And there was nothing that I could have done, in the way of actual “work” (though I did Hoover and hang the sheers but, that's Yonah's comfort and that's NOT “WORK”... THAT'S * LOVE *). - Meal commenced at 17.00 and was COMPLETE by 17.35! Washing-up and all! - Yonah's water got a “quick change” (only 12 containers) because it had been changed during the day when I noticed “poop” in it (as well as this morning, of course). And, poor Little Guy... since it was already so dark out-side by 17.00, I'd closed his windows up, turned off the NatSpec light and put the desk lamp on. He stayed out of his house (which was all nice, clean and settled) on his roof. - And I've “Saged” the house, replaced the “water” on the kitchen table. - Yonah's still on his roof... “woo-HOO!”ing. And when he's ready, he'll go back into his house for the night. - The house is “settled”, as far as I'm concerned and TONIGHT I MUST SHOWER! I'M STARTING TO REEK OF THAT “DRY-HOMELESSNESS”!!! NOT GOOD! - 20.15 OK... Yonah's “tucked-in”, lights off. I'm catching-up with Journals, having “night pills”. The house is “calm” (thankfully for all). And I'm off to try to post to servers, catch a “QI” and then... A SHOWER AND TO BED! - I have to check the “budget” and make a run into town tomorrow, at some point. I DON'T WANT TO BUT... FUCK ANYWAY. - Meanwhile... a chill of -3° coming at 5.00 tomorrow morning... Sun until 16.00 (BFD) and then *** SNOW *** at 18.00 UNTIL Monday at 3.00. OK! Thankfully only -single-digits through the week... BUT... WEDNESDAY... OIL! WOOHOO! - I'm off... gotta get Yonah's Journal done... (I'm having a hot water right now... before QI). - 20.45 SUDDEN BLAST OF WIND !!! WHISTLED AT THE BACK DOOR !!! (OR LOO WINDOW) WHOA! INTERESTING! WELL, AT LEAST IT' *NORTH WINDS* AND NOT BLASTING AGAINST YONAH'S WALL AND WINDOWS! BUT... STRANGE, INDEED. - 23.05 AND... SHOWERED... AS THE FUCKING TRUCK *ROARS* ROUND THE CORNER OFF THE HILL, SETTING THE LIGHT ON THE PEE-OH A-BLAZE! AND, OF COURSE, ALMOST *NO* WATER... NEVER MIND “PRESSURE”... THE QUANTITY! NO prob... I believe there's some clear skies to come tomorrow? Up and LAVAGE! I've got sweats, shirts, under-things and a Sherpa! (Mostly because they actually DO STINK!) - Time to take the cotton-buds out of the ears and off to bed! It's going to be a difficult morning... being this late. AND... I've had egg-nog, ice cream with cream... OH... it was delish but... I'll be paying for the pleasure, to be sure (probably through the night). - At least I DID get the Journals posted to the server. - Good night.

Sun.14.Nov: 8.46 Up with the “6.00” alarm (on the old ATT so it was about 5-10 minutes earlier anyway), rather and some-what begrudgingly. Later to bed because of a SHOWER! BUT, I'm CLEAN this morning... AND NOW... ALL OF THE WASHING IS HANGING ON THE LINES AND ON THE RACK AND IN THE SHOWER AND IT'S ALL DONE! AT LAST! AND YONAH'S MORNING ROUTINE IS DONE! And there's a bit of sun-shine... AND A DUSTING OF SNOW UP ON GREENE! Sunday morning... complete. - It's a bit on the “chilled” side in the house, but then, the back door has been open quite a bit this morning. - And Yonah's quite vociferous this morning AND has been in and out of his house. AND I GOT KISSES AND SNUGGLES THIS MORNING! (But OH! HOW I DO WISH my “mood” wasn't so sour... it's this place and such. Oh well. That'll change when I can situate in Yonah's room later. We'll have a WONDERFUL day together. There's supposed to be SUN today... for the most part. Light and warmth... one can hope.) - I happened to have noticed that the “cart” on the back gallery, has been “moved”. I didn't do it so I see that we just take matters as we wish, with complete and total disregard for others... Imagine that. So it's to be that way, then. OK. Me too, then. Fuktardz. - And I move along. - A quick run into town to come... I DREAD IT. But I'm in no mood to be “congenial” today, unless provoked. - And my guts are feeling the too much egg nog of last night. Ooops. - Anyway and other-wise... we roll along. - Yonah is well... FUCK THE REST. - 13.09 And... the skies are clouding, the house is taking a chill. I'd kicked the furnace earlier this morning and it really isn't all THAT cold but it's getting to that “annoying” feeling, mostly because of the cloudiness. Oh well... Yonah's room here is at 22,9. The radiator is set at “4”. It's just that there's no warmth from any sun-shine! - The washing is still on the gallery. At least it's stopped dripping. Now, I'll have to figure out where to put it for the “drying”. At this juncture, if I have to NAIL ROPE to the walls, I just don't care. - I DID get that run into town this morning. 10.30-ish to 11.00. Smokes, some groceries. Beef... noodles... I can make another “goulashie” some-thing or another. Broccoli for Yonah too. It looked OK and it got a thorough wash before serving. (He doesn't appear to be interested in it though. Oh well... better to have and offer than not to have at all.) There are “provisions” in the house and that's good enough for me. And there's PLENTY of food and water and warmth for Yonah and that's really ALL that matters to me. - And I've napped... well... tried. My brain doesn't shut-off when I try to nap... I tried twice today... the “idiot thoughts” just won't stop. - OH.... at market this morning, I got out of the truck in the lot and PETER was across the way. He waved and said “Good morning Jude.”! WELL! He was polite but didn't appear too happy. And I happened to notice that John hasn't had his flag up of late. I wonder... And it pisses me to the fuck-right-off-to-HELL! Silencing the whole place? Well... we'll see how “courts of public opinion” find... Fuck this shit. Really! - Had a glance on a Ggle Newcomb today. Nicely situated “On-Hudson”... the REALLY EARLY Hudson! AND... there's about as much chance of finding rental there as, I'd say, there was here, in New Russia. So? So... I can HOPE! I really wouldn't mind... It's quite a distance from any-where, certainly NOT walking distance of provisions. (But there's always on-line at this point, as I've learnt.) IF... I most certainly WILL! And that's all I'll say to that. - Now... looks like we're not about to get that “snow” this evening... just clouds. Oh well... But if no snow... I WANT SUN.... for my Little Guy! (Yeah... “I want”... Fuck me. Eh?) - 17.56 Meal is done. Washing-up is done. Yonah's evening routine is done. I've had a smoke... DONE! And it all began as I sat to eat at 17.05!
I AM SO FULL OF TREPIDATION LATELY! I DO NOT TRUST THAT SPINELESS SON OF A SHIT IN MASSACHUSETTS! I DON'T PUT IT PAST HIM OR HIS SIDE-KICK TO PULL SOME SERIOUS SHIT! I HAVE A MOST-SOLEMN VOW TO PROVIDE PROPER SHELTER TO MY LITTLE GUY, TO YONAH... AND ALL I WANT TO POST TO THE INTERNET IS: I WILL DEFEND YONAH TO THE FULLEST OF MY HUMAN POTENTIAL! LIFT A FINGER, UTTER A SOUND... “HELL” WILL BE A LUXURY HOLIDAY IN COMPARISON TO WHAT WILL COME !!! THAT TOO, IS A MOST-SOLEMN VOW !!!
18.02 Time to get back to Yonah for a while... we have things to do... and do them together. This day, again, went by entirely too quickly. - 20.46 I've been working on Yonah's “VCard” for most of the evening and just as I thought I have what I want... well... of course, I don't so... no prob... Yonah and I will work on it tomorrow! - Meanwhile, today's washing is STILL not dry, but that comes as no shock... I didn't really wring anything... too fucking lazy... just hung i t and today was HARDLY “drying weather”... cold, damp... not a breeze. - And tonight? Well... some it hanging in the bed-room door-way on hangers, over the radiator... the sherpa is on the rack in Yonah's room... by his radiator. The under-things are in the shower... It's quite the quite. - Out-side... drizzle. 4/3° dropping to 0/-4° by about 6.00 tomorrow... and tomorrow... 5/2° and no sun “'til Tuesday”. Right now, the terracotta has been burning from since about 18.00... it doesn't “heat” but I swear it makes a bit of a difference. The house is “chilly” but not horrid. - And Yonah? Well... after meal, I did go back in with him... desk lamp and bird-songs.
HE'S BEEN SO LOVING AND PLAYFUL ALL DAY TODAY !!! IT “HIM” AGAIN! AND THIS EVENING, HE ALLOWED ME TO HOLD HIM, MOMENTARILY ! AND KISSES GOOD NIGHT! PRECIOUS LITTLE GUY! So he's tucked-in... and the radiator is set at “4” and I'm hoping it'll keep his room warm enough over night. Tomorrow... his “curtains” are due! (I hope they're CLEAN!!!)
Thankfully, I just need to get QI and jammies and into bed tonight. No shower necessary... and I'm pooped! I even took “evening pills” at about 20.00! Maybe earlier... I can't really recall. But it's time... I have to get to Yonah's Journal before all else. - It's been a day! (I wasted most of it in my usual “blur”, but it was with Yonah so... THAT'S PERFECT! AND SO IS HE! - 23.09 2 QIs and too much to eat... and I don't want to brush my teeth but I must. - Popped in to see Yonah... the sherpa is still wet but his room is nice and warm... and the house is cold... Oh well... I'm off to bed.

Mon.15.Nov: 6.58 DRAGGED me out of bed with the “6.30” alarm... and once up, got rolling. And now... “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo”. I've only just sat to coffee... silly me! But HEY! MY LITTLE GUY IS UP! TIME TO GET BUSY HERE! - 7.32 ALL DONE! AND IS YONAH EVER VOCIFEROUS THIS MORNING! AND, AS I WAS GETTING THE GARBAGE TOGETHER TO TAKE OUT... HE CAME FLYING THROUGH THE KITCHEN, LIVING-ROOM AND BACK HOME! I AM SO LOVING THIS! HE'S BECOMING MORE COMFORTABLE WITH LEAVING HIS ROOM AND HE'S EXERCISING HIS WINGS! WHAT'S MOST IMPRESSIVE... NO COLLISIONS! NOT ONLY IS HE COMFORTABLE WITH LEAVING HIS FAMILIAR SURROUNDINGS, HE UNDERSTANDS WALLS, WINDOWS AND FURNISHINGS! WOW! AND, HE KNOWS WHERE HE IS AND WHERE HIS HOUSE IS! NOW... TELL ME AGAIN THAT THEY'RE NOT “SENTIENT” AND THAT IT'S ALL NOTHING MORE THAN “INSTINCT”! HE'S LEARNT AND HE KNOWS! OH! THAT I COULD GRAB, BY THE THROAT, THE ONES WHO FIND “FUN AND SPORT” IN MURDERING THESE LITTLE ONES! OH... THAT I COULD! - AND... I HAVE TO NOTE... WHEN IS STEPPED OUT THIS MORNING AND, AS I DO, LOOKED ACROSS TO THE WESTERN HILLS.... ***** SNOW ***** ACTUAL ***** SNOW ***** ON THE MOUNTAINS, THIS MORNING TOO! Not just a “dusting”... THIS MORNING... it's ***** SNOW *****! - The house was truly “chilled” too, so... I'D KICKED THE FURNACE WHEN I WOKE... IT WAS ALMOST 60F IN THE HOUSE! BUT, THANKFULLY, WHEN I WENT IN TO OPEN WINDOWS AND SUCH, IT WAS QUITE WARM IN YONAH'S ROOM! THAT WAS MY GREATEST RELIEF! We're to expect -6° chills coming tomorrow morning and I NEED to know that Yonah's room will be comfortable for him. So far... so good. - It really is a beautiful morning, out there. and the sun is touching on the mountain-tops. A beautiful morning... in New China. (Fuck these dolts... really.) The forecast though is 1/1 and 5 for the high at 10.00 and then... 4. Rain and snow by 13.00. -2/-6 for tomorrow morning (the day before oil... figures). -5/-7 for Wednesday morning... so the oil will come, the oil will burn on Wednesday... let's hope they get here on time. (Not counting on it). Of course, Thursday... after the curtains and oil come... the expectation is a high of 13°. But curtains due this evening. Hopefully CLEAN enough to hang? (Again... not counting on it.) If all goes well, at LEAST there'll be insulation on Yonah's wall and windows! - Moving along... - 9.23 TWICE this morning... I started to bring the lap-top into Yonah's room, but got carried away with putting the (finally at last) dry clothes away and a quick stop at the loo when... FLUTTER AND WHISTLE... HE WAS ROUND ABOUT THE KITCHEN AND LIVING-ROOM AND BACK HOME AGAIN! WELL INDEED! But now I'm “settled and situated” at the work table, considering a snooze (yes... already, again and such), he's on his roof, bird-songs playing and door closed against the chill of the rest of the house. - The snows are still on the mountains, the sun is TRYING to break through the clouds, it's a mere 21,3° in the room... and the “world out-side this room”... had better stay right where it is. - To be honest, I've NO intention of answering phones or doors any more... and I mean “ANY MORE”! FUKKEM! FUKKEMALL! - Curtains are due today... between 13.30 and 17.30. Yeah... we'll see. IF they're clean enough... I'll put them up before tonight's “shut-down”. - I'm just wondering when I'll get round to making cookies. I OUGHT to be making them as I type... I just don't have what it takes to do what... well... I just don't. - Were it not for Yonah, this would be a great day to just “let go”. IF it weren't for Yonah... - Oh... and I'm wondering (though not much, admittedly), what ever happened to Mindy an “we'll get your art back to you.” The snows have begun... Oh well... no loss. - 19.25 It was a “productive” sort of day, I must MUST say. - I DID, FINALLY, MAKE THOSE SHORTBREAD COOKIES! 2 sticks of butter, 2 “mugs” of flour, half a mug of confectioners' sugar... but it was TOO dry to work... added a 3rd stick of butter (of course, those mugs aren't a measured “cup” so...) and that worked... AND DID IT EVER! THEY CAME OUT PERFECT! (I just have to remember, since I'll use that same mug to measure in future: 3 sticks butter to 2 mugs flour). And they're really quite delicious! Of course I HAD to try them! OO! SO RICH! SO “butt'ry”! - AND... this evening... Yonah's curtains arrived at 16.13... and I got RIGHT TO THE HANGING! I opened the package and all of the sheets/panels (as they are now) were PERFECT! Not even an odour! Freshly packed and nicely shipped. So? So... I got right to it. But 17.16 DONE... and I even took HIS 3 panels and added them to the 3 in the bed-room so those windows too are now nicely “insulated”! I had “meal” after I'd done with that work... THERE'S COLD COMING TONIGHT AND I WANT YONAH'S WINDOWS COVERED, AS WELL AS THAT WALL! - Meal done in the usual “crammed” time-frame but still... it's already dark by 16.30 or so, and Yonah's blinds and curtains were already closed so... Tuck-in and the curtains are, well... I'm wondering. The new ones don't seem as “heavy” as the others, so, if there really IS a difference, the very next opportunity, I'll take the ones in the bed-room (now 6 panels there too), wash them thoroughly and put THEM in Yonah's room and I'll put the newer in the bed-room. But for now, the extra panels should make quite a difference in keeping more cold away, insulating the entire outer wall of his room. - Time for me to get caught-up with Journals. - Imagine... the curtains arrived at 16.13 and by 17.16, not only were Yonah's curtains up, but I'd moved his 3 panels to the bed-room AND managed to sit and have “meal”... AND, by 18.00, washing-up was done! That my body even knows I've taken nourishment is a feat in and of itself. One meal a day (and junk before bed). It's a wonder this old body keeps going at all! (And I haven't had proper veggies in several nights, must address that.) Anyway... SHORTBREAD COOKIES IN THE HOUSE TOO! JUST OVER 2 DOZEN! AND THEY'RE LOADED WITH... “BUDDAH”. TASTY SHIT! - 20.47. Yonah's Journal is caught-up and I've been working on trying to get this one up but... I'm running-down... Evening pills were at 20.00 and I've been sitting here typing away since. - I seem to have gotten a bit of steel wool in my right index finger today. I believe there were bits on the drain board when I cleaned it today and so, the finger is a bit sore... typing is a bit difficult. So between that and my fatigue... I'm going to hold-off on the rest of this journal and get Yonah's onto the server for the night and get my QI in and ... have a COOKIE and/or ice cream or something and head for bed. - Yonah's been tucked-in from since about 19.30... PRECIOUS LITTLE GUY! HE WAS SO SO SO PLAYFUL AND AFFECTIONATE TODAY! (Hence the video here.) HE TRULY IS THE VERY ESSENCE OF THE VERY CORE OF MY VERY BEING! I'll do ALL I possibly can to make sure that I'm here through his last day... and I'll provide ALL the comforts as well as the necessities for him. (And when “his time” has come to a close... so too, mine. I can't even ponder the possibility of imagining ANY sort of “being” with-out him. My heart has taken all too many bashings over the years. I still ache for Dixie, Mimou, Hallie... Nakiia, Vodka, Precious, Smaeach, Schnitzel, Mittens (Coach Lane), Ahlena's Ruckus and the boxer puppy she abused so. And Yonah? Well, Yonah is BEYOND comparison. Yonah is a “wild being” who allowed me into his life and has, obviously come to trust and accept me. No, there's NO comparison there. Yonah is “IT”... Yonah is “ALL”. As I say, I can't even ponder an existence with-out him in it. So... - 22.49 and it's time to wrap this day up! Cold nights ahead... Oh well... at least there's a roof, a floor and 4 walls. We can't expect anything more.

Tue.16.Nov: OIL ARRIVED !!! THIS MORNING !!!

(It's 14.42 and I've been keeping busy today, but managed to jot along the way. Now to fill in the blanks.) - 7.50 MORNING IS COMPLETE! AND WHEN I WOKE, AT ABOUT 6.25-ISH... THE FURNACE WAS RUNNING! I'D FORGOTTEN TO TURN IT BACK DOWN! SHIT! There's still snow on the higher peaks, but not so much on the lower. There was a ery light dusting on the yard but the sun is coming up and that's going. - The curtains? Yonah's curtains just “seem lighter” in weight, but it may have to do with washing. Bed-room? Well... there's still that “cold” on the face. Something to “look into”... when I decide so to do. Other-wise... I'm still in a FUKKITALL mood. To think, last year at this time, I was thinking in terms of “decorations” for the windows, and the front porch and the holidays to come. To think, only about a week ago, I was planning on how to get up into the woods to gather boughs to make garland. Today? I'm just fucking pissed... the lights are hanging in the living-room windows and I'm thinking in terms of taking them down and packing them away. - And I HAVE to wonder: If I'd've put a “BLM” or “Gay” flag on the porch, I might suppose Mass-hole wouldn't DARE to even mention it. And Ms. Vtrash's comment when I spoke on being “silenced” in New Russia: “Well, when Gay Pride comes, that's going to be a problem... no parade or anything.” “Gay Pride”? WTAF? I wonder if IT'S going to do something for that! If so... there's about to be more “problems” than imagined. Of course, the “excuse” will be “She's not right beside the post office”... that's how it goes. AND, then there's Mass-hole's place in Wadham... across the road from the “bakery” with BOTH the “Gay” and “BLM” flags a-flyin'. Fuktardz... the entire lot of them. -
8.00 KNOCK ON THE DOOR... *** AVERY *** A DAY EARLY !!! OIL !!! THANK THE HEAVENS !!! (confusion over the fill pipe... oh this place makes me sick!) I'm sitting at table, looking things up on-line and wasn't going to answer the door but... OH THANK GOODNESS I DID! OIL !!! HEAT !!! FURNACE !!! TONIGHT !!! AND TOMORROW !!! 3° FOR THE HIGH -5/-7° FOR THE LOW... FROM 1.00-7.00, OVER-NIGHT! OIL! HEAT! YONAH! WOW! “SOMEBODY'S WATCHING YOU...” (ME... YONAH... US!) 100 gallons. Not much, but MUCH more than I've had. And with the furnace running this morning, I've no doubt it kicked during the night as well! Oh well... I'll have to go see what's in the tank... later. Right now... I just can't face all the bull-shit... there's too much of a morning already.
At least YONAH is taken care of! And NOTHING BUT NOTHING ELSE MATTERS AT ALL! MY BESTIE LITTLE GUY COMPANION IS WARM, SAFE AND SOUND! - 9.38 smoke in the house... THAT SPORE MUST BE VISITING! The fucking absence of respect in this shit-box shit-hole is ... well...physically sickening. There MUST be a suitable place “out there”... I just have to keep in mind that I NEVER expected to find THIS place so... The world is a bizarre sort of place. Just wait... and look... and... one day... - 10.06 Checked the oil. Went to the cellar with camera... took a shot of the “gauge” and that “vent” by the house-drain and the insulation over the cellar door. News? The oil is half-way between “half and 3/4”. 75% would have been nice, and it would be nicer if I'd known what was in there before the 100 gallons. But, at least it isn't 1/4 or less. I'm still not going to set the thermostat up much above 60F or 65F at max... unless other-wise NECESSARY! (I keep wondering if Mass-hole didn't go to check the tank when it claimed that it merely went to check the cellar... Didn't like the “coolness” of the house when it came to fuck with the stove, no doubt. Tough shit! Yonah's room is kept warm and toasty... the rest of this place can rot, for all I care. And I think of that “snapping” of “I demand a full 30-day notice!” and yet, the idiot conveniently forgets that I've paid “First and Last” so I'm paid a month in advance at all times. Honestly, that shit-sack is NOT to be trusted. Well, we'll see what happens with December's rent. I'm expecting trouble from it. Though, evictions in Winter? Not so easy. I wonder if Peter would preside over the “hearing”. Can't trust that one either.) - 12.16 Sun's gone. Sitting in Yonah's room and it's been holding at 21° this morning. “Comfy”. AND HE'S BEEN SO PLAYFUL ALL MORNING! TOUCHY, CUDDLY, PLAYING WITH MY HAND! COMING TO THE DOOR TO WING-SNAP FOR MORE PLAY AND THEN HEADING BACK INTO HIS HOUSE TO “REST”. HE'S REALLY GETTING BACK TO THE TIME WHEN HE WAS SO TRUSTING AND ACTUALLY ENJOYED THE CONTACT! It's a bit of a distraction for me, as I TRY to get my mind together and get “things” done. BUT I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE “THINGS”! YONAH WANTS ATTENTION *AND* AFFECTION AND THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR... THAT'S *ALL* I'M HERE FOR... ATTENTION, AFFECTION, LOVE, CARING... FOR YONAH! AND LITERALLY, REALLY, NOTHING ELSE! And it's a PURE ELATION FOR MY SOUL! -
***** BAD NEWS... I WAS HAVING A SHORTBREAD COOKIE TO HAVE WITH AFTER-NOON PILLS, JUST NOW, AND... ANOTHER TOOTH JUST BROKE! I MEAN, THE ENTIRE TOOTH, RIGHT TO THE GUM-LINE. UPPER-LEFT... IT WAS ONE OF THE FEW LEFT FOR A BIT OF “CHEWING” AND NOW THERE'S A *LARGE GAP* UP THERE FROM THE FRONT TEETH TO THE 2 WAY IN THE BACK, ONE OF WHICH IS ABOUT TO SHATTER TOO, ONE DAY, PROBABLY SOON! SO NOW, THERE'S *NO* CHEWING ON THE LEFT SIDE BECAUSE EVEN WITH JAW CLOSED, THERE'S A *LARGE*, *HUGE* GAP BETWEEN UPPER AND LOWER! AND THERE'S NOTHING TO “FILL” TO CLOSE THE GAP! AND NOW I'M REALLY BECOMING WORRIED ABOUT THE BOTTOM TEETH. THEY “FEEL ODD” DOWN BY THE GUM-LINE WHERE, FOR *ALL THESE YEARS* THEY'VE BEEN UNDER RUBBER BANDS! IT WOULD FIGURE THAT THEY'LL SNAP TOO. OH... LIFE... THE WORLD... THINGS... TIMES... WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVERS. IT JUST FIGURES. I'LL HAVE TO CHECK NOW, FOR THOSE “DENTAL” INSURANCE THINGS FOR MEDICARE... AND THERE ISN'T MUCH TIME LEFT! OH... JOLLY-FUCK ME ANYWAY.
NEXT NEWS... JUST BEFORE THE TOOTH-SNAP... I'VE ORDERED AN “AIR PURIFIER” FOR YONAH'S ROOM! (ALSO... 2 “SPEAKER BARS”... BETTER SPEAKER FOR YONAH'S BIRD-SONGS AND MAYBE SOMETHING BETTER FOR ME TO LISTEN TO THE RADIO... OR WHAT-EVER... IF I EVER, NOT THAT I DO OFTEN, THESE DAYS. Also ordered 2 more of those “toggle switch plugs”. One, I need for Yonah's fountain and the other? Good to have and I'm sure I'll find a use.) Spent money I shouldn't spend... I HAD almost another 100 gallons of oil in the savings but... now there's 2 loan payments... MUST be careful. But what pisses me off is the purifier... NOW IT'S A NECESSITY... AND HOPEFULLY IT'LL TAKE THE FUCKING SMOKE OUT OF YONAH'S ROOM WHAT THAT SHIT-SPORE IS HERE! THIS SHIT-BOX IS NOW COSTING ME! AND I'M NOW RESENTING IT! Were it a “nice” place, a place to call “home”, I wouldn't mind but... Patience... Meanwhile... TAKING CARE OF YONAH! He coo's when the smoke comes into the house. He's “sensitive” to it! It MUST bother him! So... We're OUT OF HERE ASAP! ONE WAY OR ANOTHER... (I'll have to look into “HUD”... see if I can't find a “better place” if they'll offer more in the way of “assistance”... On the “ToDo” list!) Anyway... the order is due on Monday... More presents... FOR YONAH! YAY! - *** AND HERE COME THE SNOWS *** as predicted! Not “SNOW”, per se, but “flocons”. BUT THERE'S OIL IN THE TANK! AND THAT'S COMFORTING! - And as I type I wonder how the loss of this tooth will effect my speaking... fuck.) - AND THE SHIT NEXT DOOR IS MOVING HOUSE AGAIN... BANG, THUMP, BUMPS... FUCK. -
***** 14.28 YONAH'S “VCARD” IS UP, RUNNING AND CHECKED ON TWTR! A “VCARD”, VERY NICE, PROFESSIONAL. I'LL HAVE TO CHECK “MINDS” AND SUCH, BUT I'M SO HAPPY THAT THERE'S A PARTICULAR IMAGE THAT GOES WITH HIS WEB-SITE NOW! QUITE NICE, INDEED! AS I SAY... LOOKS PROFESSIONAL... PURPOSEFUL. SHOWS THAT I'M PUTTING WORK INTO IT. OH... THE EASY DAYS WHEN ALL OF THESE EXTRAS WEREN'T NECESSARY. BUT HEY! I'M STILL LEARNING AND THAT'S GOOD... AND YONAH IS A “WEB PRESENCE”... POPULAR LITTLE MOURNING DOVE. HE'S THE REP FOR ALL OTHER MOURNING DOVES! A CELEB! ROYALTY! (The others should only know... PRECIOUS LITTLE GUY!) And I'm rather thrilled... There's MORE I want to do with his site and pages need to be “refined”. But... we work... indeed... we do. *****
Good thing... because of the tooth, I looked at the letter received yesterday, from “Cigna”... “First Class” post... They “need” my physical address to make sure I'm in the “coverage area”. Spoke with a gal, didn't catch her name (thanks, Skype) and she asked all sorts of other sorts of questions... and I'm not certain that she got any of the information into the records correctly. I foresee TROUBLES a-comin'. FUCKING PLACE, this shit-box... it's really nothing much other than “shelter” and “trouble”. But we'll see. - Meanwhile... the temperature in Yonah's room is up... 23,8° in spite of no sun AND, thankfully, no furnace running! Tonight will be quite the “test” though... His radiator just isn't going to be off for the foreseeable future. - 15.25 ANOTHER DAMNED DAY HAS JUST FLOATED BY! It isn't really “late in the day” but the dark and drear, and the flocons and cold in the rest of the house just pull it down. - BUT YONAH'S STILL IN THE “HELLO! I'M HERE!” MOOD AND some work's been accomplished. I'd just like to know how the time goes by so quickly and WHERE, in Hell's name, it's gone to! - I have to find something to eat for “meal” tonight. There's beef in the fridge that's going to HAVE to be cooked... soon. (Tomorrow is supposed to be cold... I'll think of something to do with it... cook and warm the house... HAH... fuck.) I'm going to have to figure a new “diet” now... with no teeth... Oh well.. - Meanwhile... 23,4° in Yonah's place... We're doing just fine. - Now I have to work on the curtains... before night... they need to be “adjusted” for light-block and insulation... ESPECIALLY FOR TONIGHT! - 19.06 Noodles and veggies for “meal”, ice cream after... Sat at 17.05... COMPLETE before 18.00. - Now, with Yonah... curtains closed, ready for the night, and he's STILL in “Play Mode”! LOVE HIM! He's my EVERYTHING! - It's at that “chill-damp” stage out there tonight. But to get COLDER by morning. OH! THANK THE LORDS FOR OIL TODAY! (Not, mind, that I intend to use it... unless NECESSARY! Yonah has a radiator... and electric CAN'T be turned off during Winter, but oil CAN be denied... so... there we have it.) - Hoping to get things together EARLY tonight... well... on Yonah's time. Tomorrow? Nothing really on the agenda though except, perhaps, a run into town... if I can figure out how to afford it. Thankfully, I've ordered what I want, including the toggle switches. Other than that? Smokes, ice cream and I don't give a shit about the rest. Gas would be nice but... 10$ in cash is about all I'm ready to part with... though I might ought to get it before it hits 10$/gallon and at the rate shit is going... I see that coming close, especially since we're heading into the “holiday” season... These fuckers! - Just looked at an oil bill dated ”05/12/20” at $1.7900/gallon. 160,5 gallons... $287,30 * TODAY... 100 GALLONS... $344,00 !!! My HATE grows deeper, stronger, heavier... not only for those responsible, but for those who shit-suck those who are responsible. I need to get rid of the thoughts for the night. Bad enough my teeth are shattering as it is. - 19.47 Hauser is playing on the lap-top. Yonah is in his house. The NatSpec is still on. I'm working on his Journal...
19.47 AND THE MORON NEXT-DOOR IS THUMPING ABOUT THE DAMNED PLACE AND I SWEAR YONAH'S ROOM REEKS OF FUCKING CIGARETTE SMOKE! 19.53 BACK IN FROM A “CHECK”... IF THE SPORE IS THERE, THE CAR ISN'T. OH WELL... I'M JUST SO “PROGRAMMED” FOR IT! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT “PURIFIER”!
20.33 Day is done... Yonah is tucked-in, I'm at the table, Hauser is still playing and Yonah's Journal is coded and ready for up-load. His radiator is set at “4” and he should be nice and warm through the night... and tonight, there's OIL in the furnace and I'll set the thermostat at 60F... just in case. I don't care much about me and the rest of the house but YONAH WILL NOT BE CHILLED! - I'm quite a bit concerned tonight, about the bottom front teeth now. They took a beating over the course of so many years, I hope THEY don't snap! My “bite” is off too, now that that tooth is missing. Teeth that didn't before, are “touching” now. Hopefully the “guard” will help as I sleep? One way to find out. - Tomorrow I'll ring one of those “Medicare Help Lines” and see if I can't manage to get some sort of Dental out of them... “Dentures” would be nice... I won't think of “implants” because I doubt my jaw-bone would hold. Just so that I have SOME teeth to show when I speak. - Oh well... time to wrap this shit up, get it on the servers. THIS Journal is FAR behind... not, mind, that it makes any difference. Nobody sees it anyway. - I'm quite happy though... Yonah has a “VCard”! WOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOOOOOOO! - 20.48 ALL UP-LOADED AND I'M SO HAPPY! I HAVE YONAH'S VIDEO ON THIS JOURNAL! AND “FLOATING” AND ALL! I'M STILL “SO... .LEARNING”! (But it's time to wrap this day up... I don't want to be going to bed at 23.00... AGAIN! Even though I'm now pre-occupied with breaking teeth... Well nothing to be done about it until... I might just have to go broke... on dental... but that's the world... and of course... in the midst of the highest inflation in 30 years... HOW I FUCKING HATE... never mind... it's time to drop it all.) - 22.31 Yonah's LARGE Vcard is working... tried it on Minds and it's WONDERFUL! The new, smaller VCard for twitter seems to be failing now... oh well, back to the drawing board tomorrow. - Other-wise... QI and ice cream done... off to try “brushing teeth” that aren't there and to bed. Haven't changed the thermostat from 60F and probably won't. Yonah's room will be warm with his radiator and the rest of the house will be fine at 60F. And tomorrow? It'll take care of itself.

Wed.17.Nov: 7.25 (CALLED THE NUMBER... GOT THE “ADVANTAGE PLAN”... BLUE CROSS TOO! COMMENCES JANUARY... if Yonah and I are still around then.) “Morning Routine” is complete... I dragged me out of the bed AFTER the 6.30 alarm, closer to 6.45 or so, and got me moving about, waiting for “the call”... AND, I'd no sooner checked the clock (6.56) and was getting dressed when... “woo-Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo” came a-floatin' through the house. 7.00 appears to be the “set hour” for “Up and about and let's get this road on the show!”. And Yonah? HIS morning routine is complete, and we've had KISSES this morning! Now THERE'S a “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo” if ever there was one! (As I type, he's still coo'ing! What a GRAND beginning to a day!) - Last night, I got into a bit of a cold bed-room (but Yonah's room was quite warm, of course, to be sure) and fell asleep almost immediately. But I kept waking, for no apparent reason, at about 2.00 and then again at 4.00 and then at about 5.00. No contractions or the likes, I just kept waking... and out of odd, annoying dreamlettes:
One was that I was in the garage here or something similar, and some guy, a stranger, came to me with several sheets of black plastic, cut in the shape of an automobile floor mat, but larger, and said, in a snarky tone “I want ONE complete (I was to understand that I was to put together a hand-truck/cart sort of item). Just ONE. It isn't all that difficult.” and almost marched away. There here several metal hand-trucks about the place, but none that would make a “cart”, and none that had any sort of way to place the plastic mats. I was annoyed and, at the same time, concerned, in a quandary as to how I was to make the hand-truck/cart. And I was worried about being yelled at and/or humiliated for not having been able to make the damned thing. It wasn't clear, who the guy was, but it was some sort of combination of “father/landlord/proprietor”. I was worried that if I didn't make what was wanted, I would lose the job or housing, but something... I woke from that, not terrified, but more sickeningly pissed-off.
The next one had to do with a woman coming to the house (here... similar to here). A “mother/owner/proprietor” again. But she was something along the line of “Joanna” from Rouses Point! Pompous, after a fashion. I was and wasn't concerned about the cleanliness and tidiness of the house on her arrival, but when she did arrive, I welcomed her in. She was dressed in over-stated finery, with a large-brimmed, black, “stylish” hat. She looked a bit “disgusted” with the house, as it was, when she stepped in and I became conscious of the things I hadn't cleaned, mostly because I really didn't give a shit. Still, I didn't want to be thought of as “filthy”. As we walked toward the kitchen, I became VERY aware of the “un-cleanliness” of the house and then turned to her and said “You've been in before; yes?” She replied, in her snoot “Yes.” “I thought so.” said I. And then I thought that, if she'd need the loo, there were bits of twigs in the toilet from something I'd done previously and I became concerned that she'd be offended when lifting the seat and seeing it.
SO... I'm not too sure about the first scenario... other than the worry about losing housing/employment, and the fact that there's that lingering suspicion that the Mass-hole is in the throws of plotting some sort of bull-shit fuckerie with THIS place and that he's going to make time here as miserable as a New Englander can make things. And the second one may have to do with Mindy (from whom I've heard nothing any further) or perhaps a “walk-through” when I leave here or the fact that this place DOES need a proper cleaning and I don't want to be arsed... and then there's the clogged drain and the back-up in the loo. What-ever... there it is, there they are, and I'm up and about and... aside from spending the day with Yonah... FUKKIT!
(7.45 The Townclowns are on the Hill... shovels and such... in “the park”. LARD-ARSES! OMFG, as it were! Fluorescent yellow shirts and all. It's -5/-7 out there and they're DIGGING? Jeezus... Fuktardz. “Christmas tree” in “the park”? They're pounding wood... so to speak... into the ground. I don't know, I don't have shits or fux to give and we'll see when we see it. Dumasses.) - And on that note... the furnace kicked on this morning when I got out of bed! Thermostat set at 60F! I guess it really DID get cold in here. It ran for a while, brought the temperature in the living-room up to about 65F and stopped. Yes, the house is chilly this morning, but I'm about to head into Yonah's room and the rest of the house can shit-to-Hell, for all I care. Yonah's room will be delightfully toasty. - I'll need to toddle to town in a while. I HOPE THE TRUCK IS RUNNING PROPERLY! And other than that? I've a little list of items which I'll attend... WITH YONAH who is hopping about and AFFECTIONATE this morning. So let me waste no further time. - Oh... that space there the tooth used to be? Well, the guard helped to keep me from “clenching” because now, the bottom-front teeth hit the gum behind the upper-front teeth so I'm going to have to watch that. And there's a bit of an “ache” about it. Hopefully it won't get any worse than that. - OK... on to “internet” shit... it's 8.00 on the mark. The day is running away! At least there's food for the birds in the yard, I've had a smoke, am dressed, need to get to the loo... AND YONAH IS “woo-HOO'ing”. Yep... time to get this road on the SHOW! - 11.38 I wonder... The Townclowns have installed a steel pipe, beside the stone in “the park”. Flag pole? CLANK CLANK CLANK ALL THROUGH THE WINDY NIGHTS? I wouldn't doubt it. HERE WE GO! Utterly destroy what I THOUGHT was a “quiet little town”. MOVING! SO MOVING! - MEANWHILE... Yonah's room is 22,5° and he's on his door perch over the radiator... AND, the loo is at 17°, the living-room is at 16°. My ONLY concern is the house-plants, so I'll have to keep an eye on them. But, as for “the house itself”? Well... I really haven't a “shit” to give. - Have been napping for about an hour... it's aggravation and anxiety, to be sure. Eventually, it'll be “depression”. - Moving along... - 13.11 I CALLED THE NUMBER ON THE SCREEN for that “Medicare Helpline” AND... “Dental, Vision, OTC” and through “Empire Blue Cross”! “Zero Premiums”, “Zero Co-Pays”, “Zero Out of Pocket”... BUT... the “dental” is only for the basics... Still, seems like I've got MORE coverage (in case I ever need it) AND I get to keep Demuro as primary. Of course, there's paper-work to come, which I'll have to read with a clear mind (I'll have to find one of those). But it “sounds” delightful... for now. I needed something “delightful” from “the world” for a change. The “agent”, “Mark” claims that I have basic dental procedures with no co-pay, vision with no co-pay (not sure WHAT, but I'm sure it isn't a “stellar” package, still, if it covers the prelims for me to get any sort of “treatments” I'm good with that, an “allowance” for “OTC” stuff like vitamins and such (I believe he said I get a “debit card” with 100$ ever 3 months. I doubt I'll be able to use it with Costco for the vit.C, but we shall see), but NO deductibles and NO premiums so I don't lose anything on Soc.Sec.! WELL! We shall see how that works out... when the “info papers” arrive. I'm thinking it's “too good to be true” but... AND Mark says that the “dental” that isn't covered now MIGHT be covered with the next “go-round”... they “up-grade” from time-to-time and add to their coverage. So we shall see... (Me? With the way the government is going these days, I see cut-backs coming. But for now, it's nice to think that there's more for the buck. What the truth is, is too be seen... when the papers arrive.) Anyway... I've done it... Gotten one of them “Advantages”... an “HMO”. Now let's hope I NEVER NEED ANY OF IT... other than the dental... and that, I'm thinking of making an appointment with “Aspen”... and HOPE the truck holds on long enough. I'll go, have them look, have them tell me what they can and can't and won't do and how much I'll have to give of my blood and life for any of it. As I say... I'm not expecting miracles. But I'm (allegedly) better off now than I've been in a great many years! - Now... to find “human living conditions”. There's an 800$ place in Champlain... ON the Chazy River. 2-storey house that looks a little “too much like this shit-box”... 2-bed-rooms with an actual BATH! I have to pay the heating and electric though, of course, and the “parking” is in the front yard on the road (2-lanes). The houses around look nice. The other “draw-back”... it's right almost IN “farm-land”... corn, no doubt... and I'm thinking “more manure”. Oh well. I'd still like to find a place in Newcomb, away from a post office. Newcomb doesn't look “agri”, though it really IS “WAY out of the way... no walking to market in case of... Oh well. “It's out there.” It's just a matter of “time”... which I don't have much of. I just want an environment that's good for Yonah. It breaks my heart to move him away from here, but when I think about it seriously, he doesn't really KNOW “here”. He wasn't out “there” for very long. He's had his own house and room for a year now, and if (when) I change that, surely I can make the new place just as familiar (with the exception of the rest of the house which he doesn't spend much time in anyway... especially now that I'm keeping HIS room almost closed to keep it at, well... now that I've kicked the thermostat up to 65F... it's 24,8° in his room). The point is: my duration at any place is only his duration. I just want BOTH of us, especially him, to have a place where it's healthy (no smoke coming in through the walls and windows) and a place where he'll have GOOD sun-shine, and where I'll be in a better mood. - AND HE'S BEEN SO ACTIVE AND KISSY ALL DAY! WE'RE QUITE THE UNIT! Poor Little Guy, he's been on his door-perch for most of the day too... the cold out-side (which really isn't all “that bad”) has managed to get into the house and even into his room! So he's been at the radiator all morning. Ah... but at least he has the radiator and he has a comfy place to perch and roost where he can enjoy the warmth of it. There's that much. Oh... we'll find a place to call “HOME”... we WILL! “Things” have usually turned-out for the best (save the general bull-shit-fuckerie out-side the house). I'll just keep the hope that housing too, will turn for the best. It really is just a matter of time. - ANYWAY... IF all goes well, I'll have very nice medical coverage come January (if Yonah and I are both here and such). That was an “accomplishment” today. And it wasn't all that bad. FINALLY somebody actually gave me straight-forward answers and pertinent information with-out sounding like a “used car salesman” (or... Onkel Gene... OH THAT ONE!). - And I tried Gina's numbers again... the land-line won't go through, the mobile is on “auto answer”. Tried Ev. Machine. Oh well... - On with the day... what little is left of it. Yonah has his NatSpec on now... AND THE DAMNED FURNACE IS KICKING AGAIN! JEEZUS! Tomorrow we're supposed to get up to 12°. I damned-well hope we do! AT LEAST! This 100 gallons HAS to last THROUGH December! (Fat fucking chance.)
OH OH OH A NOTE! THIS MORNING, I WAS RUNNING THROUGH “DOMAINS” AND CAME TO THE “DESIGN”... THE “HOME” PAGE HAD BEEN CHANGED! AN OLD ONE FROM YONAH'S SITE! SEEMS IT'S BEEN THAT WAY FROM SINCE SEPTEMBER! I'VE *NO* IDEA HOW I DID THAT! MAYBE “CLICKED TWICE” ON IT WHEN I WAS IN THAT DIRECTORY? BUT WHAT A BIT OF A SHOCK THAT WAS! THANKFULLY, IT'S “REPAIRED”. BUT... NOT GOOD!
*AND*, I GAVE A REALLY GOOD LOOK AT THE TOOTH THAT BROKE YESTERDAY... THERE WAS THE TINIEST LITTLE “FILLING” IN IT... REALLY TINY! AND THE REST OF THE TOOTH IS PERFECT! IT “ROTTED” AT THE ROOT! AND BROKE AT THE GUM-LINE! THAT'S BEEN THE CASE ALL ALONG WITH THESE TEETH: THE “ROT” IS IN THE JAW-BONE! I'M JUST GRATEFUL THAT IT'S NOT PAINFUL. BUT STILL... WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY JAW-BONE? I WONDER. WELL, ONE OF THESE DAYS MAYBE I'LL FIND THAT OUT TOO. I SEE DENTURES IN THE FUTURE. I CHECKED “ASPEN” AND WITH EXTRACTIONS, JUST GENERAL EXTRACTIONS, WHICH I'M SURE ARE OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO TAKE SOME SERIOUS “DIGGING”, BUT WITH GENERAL EXTRACTIONS... A FULL SET OF RUN-OF-THE-MILL DENTURES WILL RUN 3-4k. WELL THEN, THAT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION... AT LEAST UNTIL I PAY-OFF THE OUT-STANDING LOAN... AND EVEN THEN, I DOUBT THE CREDIT UNION WILL GIVE ME THAT MUCH... EVEN FOR “MEDICAL EXPENSES”. I'LL JUST HAVE TO HOLD AND WAIT AND SEE... AND BY THE TIME I *CAN* GET AROUND TO IT ALL... THE COST WILL HAVE RISEN TOO. OH.. “LIFE”.
***** ***** ***** BUT YONAH IS HERE, AND IN A GOOD MOOD AND IS HEALTHY AND... THAT'S THE WORLD AND ALL THAT MATTERS AT ALL! ***** ***** *****
Now, back to “stuff”. -
13.39 YONAH IS IN THE POOL! TEMPERATURE IN THE ROOM IS 25,4, THE FURNACE JUST STOPPED AND YONAH IS IN THE POOL!
18.29 After a MOST DELIGHTFUL DAY WITH MY BESTIE-EST LITTLE GUY... “meal” was promptly at 17.00 and washing-up was complete, promptly, at 17.35! And now, “evening routine” is complete as well... and the windows are closed for the night! And for a brief moment, Yonah came to the little “extended perch” to be right above me! WOOHOO! - And I have images on both journals today... yet, even mine (it's been quite the while from since I last did that). Now... back at his work table... time to get HIS Journal page for today and then? What-ever... until “seepie-nigh-night” time. (And TONIGHT'S TEMPERATURES ARE SUPPOSED TO *RISE*... 4, 5, 6, 7, AND ALL THE WAY UP TO 13° TOMORROW... rain, of course, but 13°! HEAT-WAVE! AND NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON!) - 19.41 This evening is passing TOO TOO QUICKLY! Time with Yonah always does that. No matter how much time we spend together (and we've been together ALL DAY today... I was going to run into town but never got round to it... no problem... LIFE is BETTER when it's passed with Yonah... as I've already expounded on, to lengths, on his Journal page, which I've just completed... until after “tuck-in”). Anyway, the “birds have stopped singing” (because the speaker is out of power... come Monday - it'll be alright - as the lyrics go - there'll be a NEW speaker, connected to the power source, no more re-charging, and it'll be bigger and hopefully, give better sound). And Yonah's NatSpec light is out and we're here, in his room, to the desk lamp. The blinds and curtains have been closed from since just about 16.45. All that remains to be done is to put the “night boards” up. - And so well so... at 19.57 time for the “wrap-up” of the day. Yonah is on his door perch. He's had a little “snack” and some “sand” after (what a “dessert”). I HATE to disturb him but I'm sure he needs his rest. I know I do. So... time for “night pills”, Yonah's “tuck-in”, a QI and... off to bed for us both! - I'M SO RELIEVED THAT THE TEMPERATURES ARE RISING TONIGHT! I was just out for a smoke a few moments ago and the wind is blowing but it's noticeably warmer out there! OH THE BLESSING! Of course... then comes the next “PLUNGE”! Oh well. (But as long as it isn't “mild”... I've got a point in my favour about being able to not PANIC about getting out of here... even though I DO have that anyway because I TRULY DO NOT WANT TO STAY IN THIS HOUSE! I WISH we could find some-where else IN New Russia, on a “back road” or something. But... we shall see. Stranger things have happened in my life in the past 2,5 years... after all... YONAH !!! AND HE'S A DIRECT EVENT FROM A GREAT DIVINITY!) - 20.28 Yonah is tucked-in for the night, the temperatures out-side are RISING! The house is calm (for the while and it had better stay that way). Yonah's Journal is coded. Tomorrow I'll put in the photos from this evening... OH... the PHOTOS! - AND, AS I NOTED ON HIS JOURNAL FOR TODAY... HIS VCards ARE WORKING WONDERFULLY! I EVEN GOT THE TWTR CARD TO WORK PROPERLY TODAY! AND I CHECKED ON “MINDS” AND THAT ONE IS PERFECT SO IT OUGHT TO WORK ACROSS ALL! HE'S SO “PROFESSIONAL” NOW! IMAGINE? WEB-SITE, E-MAIL, TELEPHONE, HE'S GOT “VCards” FOR SOCIAL MEDIA (I won't put him on social media though... no need really... with his web-site and Journal... although I am tempted... POOR DIXIE... SHE had a Twitter account! I wonder where SHE is these days... UNLESS SHE'S... YONAH? This world is a strange place... and I doubt almost nothing... especially now, with Yonah in my life.) - Anyway, I've taken night pills and it's time to wrap... I'll code and post thus far and tomorrow, we'll take the day, rainy and warm as it's supposed to be, as it comes along. - I HAVE to “live in this moment” again... and NOT be so anxious about what's to come... All will work out in time... it will. - I also have those sketches printed for Ev. So I'll have to work on a note of some kind to send to her for that. Chanukah is coming, I can make a card and include them. She said she'd like to see the sketches Moe did and they did print nicely.... I even printed them on “sketch paper”. So... there's another something to “do”. - For tonight? The day is done... and so am I... and Yonah is tucked-in, warm and cozy... fresh waters and a clean house. There's nothing more to want for. - 20.45 MY NIGHT IS SET! I FUCKING DELETED YONAH'S SITE FROM THE SERVER AND NOW I'M UP-LOADING IT *ALL*! THANKFULLY I HAVE THE WHOLE SITE ON THE LAP-TOP BUT... OH HOW FUCKING STUPID! IT'S BECAUSE THIS FUCKING LAP-TOP... THE OLD “TAUBER.COM” KEEPS COMING UP ON THE SERVER AND I KEEP DELETING IT. WELL... I TRIED AGAIN AND THE FUCKING CURSOR SLIPPED AND... WELL... ALL I CAN DO IS HOPE! WE SHALL SEE... I'VE NO DOUBT THIS IS GOING TO TAKE A LOT OF TIME! IMAGES, VIDEOS... ENTIRE DIRECTORIES! FUCK! - 21.39 DONE! REPLACED! CHECKED! JEEZUS KRISTE! NOW I REALLY MUST GET TO CLEANING IT UP! *ALL* OF THE FILES ARE ON THE SERVER AND I DON'T WANT *ALL* OF THEM ON THERE! AND I MUST GET INTO A ROUTINE OF BACKING THE ENTIRE SERVER UP! AH... TOMORROW. AT LEAST IT'S WORKING AGAIN! OF ALL THE SITES... NOT YONAH'S! OH GOD! OH MOTHER! OF MOTHER OF GOD! OH... JUST OH! BUT AT LEAST IT'S BACK UP AND RUNNING! - 23.09 Thought of last smoke... too tired... too late... brushing the gums and off to bed. Must be up before Yonah!

Thu.18.Nov: 7.00 on the mark... and Yonah hasn't called... I don't want to wake him, if he's asleep, but this is unusual. And I'm dressed, in from smoke... having begrudgingly dragged me out of the bed again, this morning. I'll give Yonah a few more minutes...
7.01 woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo !!! OK!
8.59 MUCH WORK TO DO ON YONAH'S SITE TODAY! I SKIPPED HIS PHOTO PAGE 205 AND NOW... THROUGH 700s, MUST RE-NUMBER AND RE-DIRECT ALL... “PREV” AND “NEXT” LINKS AS WELL. WELL? A LOVELY DAY TOGETHER WITH YONAH... NO COMPLAINTS THERE! - I'm about to go see whether or not the truck will make a “run” too. Here we go with the day! - 10.01 OK! Been to town and back! And the sun is hazily shining through Yonah's windows... and when I came back from town, he was up on the shelf... apparently “waiting” for me. I'll say, it was “painful” to leave him this morning, but I'm relieved that the run is done, the truck ran quite beautifully, and now... it's Yonah and I for the day! (And I'm on to “repairing” my mistake! His site is being “re-posted” on Minds so I MUST to get it working properly! And that one page sets EVERY OTHER PAGE off! So... On we go... YONAH AND I!) - 21.42 SEEMS THE SERVERS ARE DOWN AND I CAN'T GET TO YONAH'S SITE, NOR TO MY OWN JOURNAL! Oddly, it happened right after I tried to get a back-up from the server to the lap-top. After all the work that was done today, I want an exact copy, in case... And of course, there's nobody available at the “server end” except some computer-shit “chat”. And even THAT'S not working. I wonder... It couldn't have been just me that threw ALL the severs off! (Or... if they're THAT shitty...) - Anyway... I DID make it town this morning. Headed right out shortly after 9.00 and was back BEFORE 10.00! I believe I saw 9.40 on the clock when I came back in. Got to FamDoll and the market too! Not a bad run. It really is a shame though, how I dread, and I mean DREAD going into that little shit-hole. Mostly because I just don't like leaving Yonah's room. I'm “happy” in there with him. - And when I got back, put the “grocery” (almost 40$ and it didn't make a blip in the tote! this shit's out of hand, reminds me of Oma and stories about the “Depression”... well, she always said that the ones who suffered most were the ones who had the most to lose; me? I got nuthin', never did, don't now, never will and that's just fine by me, being Homeless MOST of my life has been a blessing). What-ever... - And I DID managed to get a LOT of work done on Yonah's site today! New “Home”. Worked our “Anniversary Video” into it, nicely, neatly. I want people to SEE that! (I wonder how many actually HAVE. It would be nice to have a counter on the site but... they're so intrusive these days.) And I managed to make “notes” here, during the day. There's “filling-in” to be done (and, to be honest, it's Friday night, 18.39, and that's what I'm doing... I'm trying to catch-up before it gets to where we ALL need to go to bed for the night... ) - Moving along... - I still NEED to back-up the actual server for Yonah's site with all of today's work. On the agenda for tomorrow... hopefully the servers and the FTP will work properly (?). - That said... Thankfully it was warm in the house all day. But the radiators are still on. I'm leaving them on. The one in the living-room seems to “cycle” and that's what I want it to do. And in Yonah's room, I don't want to risk his room EVER getting cold. (If we have a power-outage, I'm not sure what I'll do. Probably take the terracotta into his room and call that “our house”. At least I have that... though I don't like to use it, since fire takes oxygen out and those tea-lights are “soy” and that's NOT any good. I hope that the terracotta grabs most of it as they burn. But, they're better than getting too fucking cold!) - MY TEETH... ON THE BOTTOM, FRONT, ARE FEELING “STRANGE” AND STRANGELY “SENSITIVE” TODAY! I'M REALLY QUITE CONCERNED ABOUT THEM. AND THE ONLY PLACE TO GO TO IS IN PLATTSBURGH! THE TRUCK! THE GAS! THE COST! AND EVEN THE NEW “HMO”, WHEN IT KICKS IN IN JANUARY, DOESN'T COVER ACTUAL “NEEDS”. OH WELL... WE'LL DEAL WITH IT... AS WE DEAL WITH EVERYTHING ELSE. I JUST HOPE THE FRONT TEETH HOLD... FOR, OH, 6 MONTHS AT LEAST? (HAH! HOW I MEK WIZ DE JOKES! FUCK ME!) - Didn't take the 20.00 pills until 20.30... so I'm up until at least 21.30. But it's time for QI now and off to bed immediately after. - It's supposed to get COLD again, tonight, after today's “mild”, rainy. One day reprieve. OK. Better than -40° and such. (That'll come... I'm sure.) - But it was a PRODUCTIVE day... *** AND IT WAS WITH YONAH ALL DAY *** so there's nothing really to “want for” at this point. And there's a small list for tomorrow... and I don't have to leave the house and THAT'S what makes a day delightful... and being with Yonah ALL DAY IS WHAT MAKES IT PERFECT! He's been SO LOVINGLY CLOSE lately. We're not just a “bonded couple”... we're an “ITEM”... one and the same together... and I'm in *** AWE *** !!! I NEVER would have even imagined this! Yeah, “when his time comes” I'll be right behind him. Truth? Any way I look at it, I have NOTHING to continue for other than him. And I really won't bother “after” him. “CHECK-OUT”! - 23.27 SERVERS ARE UP and I'm heading to a nap! (I want to be up and about early enough to grab the servers before anybody else starts with them... AND I WANT THAT BACK-UP OF YONAH'S WORK! So... I MIGHT get to sleep by mid-night... up at 6.00... if I can... but NOT later than 6.30. And if I'm exhausted, I can “snooze with Yonah” during the day... there's always that.) QI is done. Night snack is done. The day is done. So am I.

Fri.19.Nov: 10.54 ***** SNOW ***** or, at least “heavy flocons”. Not sticking, but quite lovely to see. And Yonah's site is up, running AND BACKED-UP to the peripheral. - And YONAH? SO SO SO PLAYFUL TODAY! - Me? I could just lay on his futon for the day, at this point. It was a bit of a “restless” night, with back brace, last night. I got up and out of bed at about 6.30 though. Wasted a good hour at “nap”. So now it's “catch-up with everything. I “noted yesterday again. But there's nothing on the agenda today, other than spending the day with Yonah... and “doing”. We're listening to the bird-songs and the radio, NatSpec light on, 22,9° in his room. And he's on his roof... supervising me. - 18.52 FINALLY... caught-up with Yonah's Journal and my own! - It's been a “busy” sort of day. I didn't get out of bed until 6.30 or so and hit the floor running. - AT “7.01”, Yonah called from his room! I'm rather quite amazed... that “7.00” hour appears to be his “clock setting”. Now I have to make sure that he gets enough rest at night. I try to stretch the day (even now, I'm at his work table with his NatSpec light on, until 19.00 hour when I turn it off and we go to “desk lamp” only) (and I just did... put the NatSpec off... and got KISSES !!! So here we sit with the bird-songs, and I need to try to get rolling with this here...) Anyway, it appears that he gets a good night's sleep... with the way he's been all day! SO PLAYFUL! SO AFFECTIONATE! SO CLOSE! IT'S BEEN AMAZING! Every move I made, he watched, and when I'd leave the room, even for the briefest, he noticeably missed my presence! He called a couple of times while I was out. And even when I went to check the post, I got to the front door and heard “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo”! And, as I worked at his table, if I even so much as turned my head toward him, he came to the door perch... WING-SNAP! He WANTED TO PLAY, TO HAVE CONTACT! YEP YEP YEP... I have to wonder though... he MUST actually KNOW how much he is to me (really... “how much”... there isn't any “me” with-out him... and there won't be, to be sure). It can't be just some “instinct”... there MUST be an actual “KNOWING”. He's a “wild mourning dove”! Never been around people until last year. And if it's just a matter of me providing him with his comforts, food, housing and the likes... I won't believe, not for a passing snap, that he doesn't KNOW what I do and why I do it. Still... I'm “AWE-STRUCK”! (Not to mention, I can take a bit of “pride” in the fact that this is the result of nothing more or other than my “gut instincts”. No help or support... I just went with what my mind and heart and soul came up with... Obviously, I ain't quite a dumb as some believe.?) - Other-wise... THIS WAS QUITE THE PRODUCTIVE DAY! - I DID MANAGE TO GET THAT BACK-UP OF YONAH'S SITE... AND ONTO THE PERIPHERAL DRIVE. (I MUST work at keeping those back-ups current! I remember the Newburgh site and The Bronx site... gone... just like the rest of my past. I HAVE to keep Yonah's going... even it I lose the others.) - AND... I made a “chili-sort-of-thing” with the beef from the fridge. It's in 3 bowls in the fridge and just in time too because tonight, I ate the last chicken breast that I'd cooked the other day. Imagine? 4 breasts and lately, I've eaten a whole one... except for tonight. There's a half left. But now there's THREE little bowls of “chili-sort-of-thing” which I can have with pasta or noodles. And this batch has veggies, black beans and chick peas in! OO! Healthy shit! And plenty of it. - And when the chili-stuff went onto the hob, I prepped the other 4 chicken breasts that I got at market yesterday. Now, believe it or not...
THE FRIDGE AND THE FREEZE ARE BOTH SO PACKED FULL THAT THERE'S PRECIOUS LITTLE ROOM FOR MUCH IF ANYTHING ELSE IN EITHER OF THEM! I DON'T REMEMBER EVER, IN THE COURSE OF MY LIFE-TIME, EVER HAVING THAT MUCH ACTUAL *FOOD* IN THE HOUSE... NEVER MIND THE FRIDGE AND FREEZE! NOT JUST WATER BOTTLES (AS I ALWAYS USED TO DO, PRIMARILY JUST TO KEEP THE FRIDGE AND FREEZE COLD)... ACTUAL *FOOD*! JUICE, BREAD, BUTTER-UP-THE-HOO-HAH, FRUITS (TINS, OF COURSE), CHEESES, COFFEE... AND THE FREEZE? ICE CREAM, *TWO* ROASTS OF BEEF, 3 (OR 4) FROZEN PIZZAS, VEGGIES, VEGGIES, VEGGIES, EVEN SOME VEGGIES I FROZE A WHILE AGO (WHICH I PROBABLY SHOULD COOK SOON). I MEAN... *FOOD* !!! I NEVER... REALLY, NO, I NEVER! AND THERE'S STUFF IN THE CUP-BOARD TOO! *** AND *** THERE'S SO MUCH FOOD FOR YONAH AS WELL !!! WE'RE A HOUSE O' FOOD! (AND TO BE HONEST, IT'S BECAUSE OF YONAH AND NOTHING ELSE, REALLY, BECAUSE THE ONLY REASON I TAKE ANY CARE OF ME IS SO THAT I'M HERE TO GIVE HIM ALL THAT I POSSIBLY CAN, ALL THAT HE COULD POSSIBLY NEED OR WANT. AS I SAY... NO YONAH... NO ME... MY TIME ON THIS EARTH IS HIS TIME ON THIS EARTH.
That said, I also got to “cleaning” the un-necessary files from the server on his site *AND* I HOOVERED THE HOUSE QUITE WELL TODAY TOO! - BUT... ONE THING THAT TRULY BEARS MENTION....
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
AT 15.21 TODAY... I DID THE *IDR* RE-CERTIFICATION ON-LINE !!! AND LOOKING THROUGH THE SITE THERE, I SEE THAT THE “NEXT PAYMENT” THAT WILL COME DUE WILL BE ON 2 MARCH 2022 !!! I WONDER IF I'LL GO BACK TO THE 5$ OR... AS I EXPECT, WILL THIS GRUBBING, LEECHING, MISERABLE SHIT-HOLE SOCIALIST-COMMUNIST GOVERNMENT COME TO THE DOOR FOR BLOOD! WELL? WE SHALL SEE. FROM THE LOOKS OF IT (I HAVE “PDF”s OF THE “DOCUMENTATION”, WHICH I HAVE YET TO READ THROUGH), THE RE-CERT GOES TO FedLoan AGAIN... SO NOW I JUST WAIT... AND SEE... FUCKERS! I *KNOW* THERE'S HELL'S SHIT COMING! BUT... WE'LL ADDRESS THAT WHEN THE MOMENT PRESENTS. (THEY WANTED THE HOUSE ADDRESS... “KNOCK KNOCK” HERE THEY COME! WELL? IT WOULD BE IN LINE WITH MY EXISTENCE... JUST SO LONG AS IT DOESN'T INCONVENIENCE YONAH IN ANY WAY...
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
19.23 Well... looks like I've said all that I have to say for now... and now it's really time to get Yonah settled and “tucked-in”. Sadly, I snoozed for about an hour this after-noon... but I'm so tired right now... Was considering a quick shower before bed tonight too... we'll see about that. - Hey! I sat to eat meal at 17.04 and by 17.45...not only were my “meal dishes” done and put up... nobody would have ever known that I'd cooked anything all day! But... I still have to “close” Yonah's entry, get a couple more photos included... and then close this... so... we shall see. But right now... it's about YONAH! (His waters are changed, moss shaken, fresh food... ) - Of note: there's some kind of “cold” passing over my knees as I sit at his work-table. I can't figure where it could be coming from... especially after all the “taping” I've done of all sorts of “spaces” in this shit-box. Honestly, this place grinds my nerves. - OH BUT KYLE WAS FOUND ***** ***** INNOCENT ON ALL COUNTS ***** ***** TODAY! I SOBBED WHEN I SAW THEM CALL THE VERDICTS! AND THAT FUCKTARD THING THEY CALL THE “PRESIDENT” MADE A STATEMENT ABOUT BEING ANGRY! I'M DONE WITH THIS HELLIFIED-SHIT-SKID FUCKING NATION! Problem is... Canada's no better these days... Europe's a complete break-down of humanity... Russia? Even Israel is a fucking disgrace. It's the WORLD... it's ALL gone wrong. Time to blow it up, get rid of it. “Humanity” has finally reached it's useless end. - I need to get busy and stop thinking. - 20.22 Pills tooken[sic]. Yonah's Journal and photos are coded and ready to up-load. And I'm ready to close this day! After, of course, QI. - I'm still shaken with delight that Rittenhouse is FREE! (Although, the Democrat-Socialist-Communists are already starting their own bull-shit to get at him! Nadler... that fat, repulsive shit-sack is at the helm of it. Honestly... this country needs to make changes... but, I do believe it's already too late. The USA is gone, lost, wasted.... FUCKED... to the point of bleeding to its death... it's just a matter of time. But again, it's late... I have to shed the anger and REJOICE in the freedom of that young man. May he and his family find a true peace... a VERY COMFORTABLE peace... and may they be the inspiration for... if need be... a “Civil War”. I'd fight in that! Just on principle alone!... As long as it doesn't interfere with YONAH... of course. - 22.43 No matter how early I begin... No shower... Had ice cream with egg nog, 6 shortbreads... OH... BEFORE I FORGET... THAT POLE THE TOWNCLOWNS PLANTED IN “THE PARK” WAS FOR A “PLAQUE”... ONE OF THOSE “HISTORICAL” THINGS! NO, I HAVEN'T GONE TO READ IT BUT... I WONDER WHEN THEY'LL INSTALL THE FUCKING FLOOD LIGHTS ON IT! - Meanwhile... the house is getting cold... I think the thermostat is set at 60F though... I'll check Yonah's room before bed of course... but for now... quick smoke, brush the teeth I have left and off to bed... Shower... tomorrow... maybe even during the day since I won't be leaving the house... and there's really nothing I can think of that I'll “must to do”! YAY!

Sat.20.Nov: 10.11 OK... so I'd set an alarm for 6.00 this morning, heard it, shut it off, set another for 6.30, dozed. At the 6.30, heard it, shut if off... dozed again until the 7.00 alarm which woke me only just in time to put the kettle on, get dressed, start morning coffee and... (because that “alarm” is “fast”)... 7.01 on the lap-top... “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo...” and the day commenced ROLLING! I'd wanted to be up and about WAY earlier, but it was another night of “contractions”... 2 of them, but enough to disturb sleep. (OH SHIT! 10.14 and the furnace, set at about 65F, has just kicked on. I moved the radiator more toward the way between kitchen and living-room before “retiring” to Yonah's room. Yes, it IS quite chilly out there this morning and the house HAS been “chilled to the studs” but... there's “adjusting” to be done. And the terracotta is lit, from since about 7.00 so... Here we go with the cold! Oh well. But the sun is shining in through Yonah's windows so there's hope for his room.) - OK... so I was TIRED (again) this morning. But we got everything attended in due course and I'm only just getting to Yonah's room. - Now... YONAH? ANOTHER “PLAY DAY”! WITH ALL SORTS OF AFFECTIONATES AND THE SORTS! So I'm looking forward to a GREAT day with him! - Too bad I want a snooze already though. (Vroom! The furnace is running. I also need to get to the cellar to stop that “vent” under the loo. It's almost “bitter cold” in there and I swear it's because of that “vent” directly at the registre in that room, pulling COLD air from the cellar into the house. Oh well... live, learn, try, see... what-ever. I don't really care about the cellar, and I can't really care about the rest of the house.) - Speaking of “house”... I'm wondering what's under the carpet in Yonah's room that's making for an “irregular” flooring. The dips and such are becoming more noticeable. And I'm wondering if there isn't “ASBESTOS” tiling under there! Would surprise... this place is such a shit-box. But then again, McMass-hole isn't an actual “contractor” for buildings and the likes. He's a “ditch digger” so iti truly is up to me to make sure that Yonah and I are safe... and comfortable... and SAFE!) - Temperature in the room rising... 21,5° now. WOOHOO! And Yonah? On the door perch over the radiator as the sun FINALLY makes way to his windows. - One more item: That “plaque” in the “park”? About some gal named “Bishop”, “born near” here, discovered a parasitic mistletoe that hit the spruce trees. Imagine that. A plaque! Well, the town saved, what did Merricheex say? 25k? on those LED lights. All that money... there to piss up their colons... and install plaques. Imagine that! - Nap time! 10.24. - 11.33 WELL! THAT was quite a snooze... and up just in time to replace the tea-lights in the terracotta! This is going to become one of those days where, at the end, I'll be pissed and disappointed. But truth is: I have nothing I really “need” to do nor “want” to do so... - BUT THE SUN IS POURING IN THROUGH YONAH'S WINDOWS! BEAUTIFULLY! - 20.31 OH... almost had another DISASTER with up-loading Yonah's pages again! The FTP had some pages from today, appearing as pages from yesterday! I've NO idea WTAF happened there but I managed to get it corrected (don't know “how” but I checked... the site is FINE). Anyway... pills taken and Yonah is tucked-in and the house is taking a chill but Yonah's radiator is set at “5” and tonight's low is supposed to be 0/-1° so he'll be nice and toasty. I'll open his door a bit more over-night. - IT WAS A GLORIOUS DAY WITH HIM... AND ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT IT IS ON HIS JOURNAL PAGE! AND IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PAGE NOW... WITH MORE PHOTOS AND ONE AT THE HEADER! I'LL LEAVE IT AT THAT BECAUSE I WANT TO GET TO “SETTLING” ME AND GETTING A BRIEF SHOWER TONIGHT... SOON! There's nothing on the agenda for tomorrow but I want to get to bed at a “civil” hour to be up and about and ready for when Yonah wakes tomorrow. (HE WAS SO AFFECTIONATE AND PLAYFUL TODAY... IT BREAKS MY HEART TO END A DAY AND I WAS LATE... WORKING ON HIS PAGES... 20.00! POOR LITTLE GUY!) - And NOBODY else to fuck the day up! SO IMPORTANT! And the sun shone for quite a while, and it warmed the house nicely. - The thermo is set at about 65F but I'll put it back to 60 before bed. It hasn't run all day after this morning's chill so... I'm relieved about that. And nothing in today's post. Nothing in e-mails. All is well... and it had better fucking stay that way! - That's that for this... I ought to post to the server and get on with the night... it's already 20.37! MY LIFE IS PASSING TOO QUICKLY (but only because Yonah is in it!) - 22.36 Ice cream and finished the Doritos. SO... 2 QIs... No shower. Oh well... -

Sun.21.Nov: 67 years ago... they made the second-worst mistake of their fucking lives.
19.54 and I'm only JUST getting to today's entry on THIS Journal. (I've almost completed Yonah's just now.) 6 years ago... the second-worst mistake of their fucking lives. - 20.21 Pills taken, Yonah is tucked-in, sage is burning because I just suddenly felt “compelled” to do so, and I've posted a “terse” little “notation” on Minds (since that's where Mindy found me) referencing today's “anniversary”. Ah... but I've lived long enough to disseminate the truth. I guess that's my “gift”. - But MY, things are “settling” in this house tonight, and there have been strange “squeaks” and such about. One has to wonder... WTAF is going on here tonight? OK. So it's raining and it's been cold but... really... WTAF is going on? - Anyway, let me get to the day... and WHAT A DAY IT'S BEEN! And it's ALL been about YONAH! So, what I'll do (again) is just pull a direct quite from his Journal entry for today. My existence is, let's face it, HIM... nothing else, just YONAH, and I couldn't be any more pleased, any happier, any more content:
”Sunday 21 November:
A DAY OF REALLY “NEW” EXPERIENCES... FOR BOTH YONAH AND ME! TRULY! *NEW*!
To begin, it was a chilly, but sunny day, for the most part. Some-what “cold” this morning, but I'd left Yonah's radiator set at “5” out of a possible “6” last night. Not because of the cold that was expected over-night, but, honestly, because I'd turned it up during the day yesterday, to take a chill out of his room, and didn't think to lower it to the usual “4” until after “tuck-in”. So, when I walked into his room, it was QUITE warm and cozy. He had me most “concerned” this morning, though. The clock had gotten to 7.00 and then 7.01 and not a sound from him. I went in at about 7.04 and there he was... on his perch. In the low light of his room (blinds and curtains still closed, of course) I could see his silhouette there... and I sat on the futon, whispering ever-so softly:
“Are you awake my Little Man?”
SO MUCH TO MY RELIEF, I SAW HIS HEAD MOVE AS HE LOOKED FORWARD, PERHAPS TO SEE ME BETTER! HE WAS AWAKE, AND WELL! AND HONESTLY, THAT'S ALL MY WORLD NEEDED. (More-so, that ALL MY WORLD IS!) So, carefully, quietly, I moved his house away from the window and slowly, opened curtains and blinds to let in the early-morning light... what there was of it at that hour. As I say, it was a clear morning, but the sun doesn't break over the trees until about 10.00 these days. But there was enough light for both of us to see each-other and when the windows were open and his house was back where it usually is, I poked my head in and... HE CAME RIGHT OVER TO ME TO GIVE ME “GOOD MORNING” PECKS! HE WAS FINE! I WAS MUCH BETTER! WE WERE OK! WE WERE TOGETHER! THE WORLD? The “world” doesn't matter at all to me, in all honesty. The ONLY anything that matters, at all, to me, is that Yonah is well and in good spirits. And so... he certainly was, indeed! Today was Sunday... nothing to distract from the out-side and so, I had my coffee, got my “internet affairs” all done and, well, I was running a little later than usual and was it ever brought to my attention! Instead of me being at the work table by shortly after 9.00, time was heading closer to 10.00 and, as I sat at table in the kitchen I heard a resounding “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!” And yes, that's how many “hoos” followed the first “HOO”! The “usual” simple call is “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo”. Seems the more “hoos” that follow the “HOO”, the stronger the “message”. SO! With-out further delay, I moved lap-top and self into Yonah's room and took my “assigned place” at the table and got busy with other work that I had for the day.
When I walked into Yonah's room, he was standing on his door perch... looking directly at the door to his room, in a stance that I've come to SO LOVE because he actually appears to be waiting to either pick a fight or to give a “wing-snap” welcome of “HEY! It's about time, you!” AND, no sooner had I put the lap-top on the work table when... FLUTTER AND WHISTLE! YONAH MADE A ROUND IN THE ROOM AND CAME RIGHT OVER AND SET-DOWN ON MY SHOULDER! OK! Today was a “Let's PLAY!” and “LOVE ME!” day! And it was getting off to a rousing start!
After I'd done with my own little “tasks”, I got a notion to re-do the “Home” page on his web-site. I REALLY want to make the issue of COMPANIONSHIP obvious, well-known, perfectly understood. Yonah has shown me, on SO MANY WAYS, that, although there are times when he just doesn't want to be disturbed by me, in any way, for the most part, especially now that his “moulting days” are in the past, he DOES WANT INTERACTION, CONTACT, “CONVERSATION”, COMPANY, COMPANIONSHIP! I never would have expected it from him, particularly because, after all, he is, essentially, a “wilderness” Little Guy. And I NEVER expected him to become “SO” close to me, a human! But it's become SO MUCH MORE THAN ABUNDANTLY OBVIOUS... We share the same FEELINGS for and toward each-other. HE DOES enjoy my company! AND, he DOES TRUST me, AND, in his own way, I have NO doubt... he DOES LOVE me as much as I LOVE him! So I want to get that on the first page, make it the first item people see (and hopefully read). So I got to work on that, on re-coding and re-arranging the “Home” page.
THEN... as I do of a day of late, I had my “lie-downs” and THAT'S when things started to become even MORE fascinating! TWICE today, as I laid on his futon, Yonah came over, landed on my leg, as he's done before but TODAY, BOTH times, as I laid there, he made his way up to the pillow to “roost” a-while next to my face! And he stayed there for quite a few moments... BOTH times! And on his second little “visit”, he noticed that I wasn't sleeping and actually “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo'd” at me! (I found it to sound like “I know you're not sleeping so get up and let's cuddle and play.”
As if THAT wasn't just something... as the day progressed, he was on my shoulder as I was working at the table and when I had to get up to “toddle to the loo”... HE JUST STAYED ON MY SHOULDER AND CAME ALONG! Now THAT'S TRULY A FIRST! HE'S NEVER BEEN IN THAT ROOM IN THE YEAR-AND-SOME THAT HE'S BEEN IN THIS HOUSE! But today? Well... AND, as I stood at the face basin in front of the mirror, he NOTICED his reflection, NOTICED another dove, as it were, and was FASCINATED BY IT! Oh... the “woo-HOO-hoo-hoos!” And WHAT AN AMAZEMENT TO ME! Never mind, the SMILES on my face!
OK, you might think that that was that but... when we left the loo, we went for a “stroll” about the rest of the house. It was chilly in the rest of the house (since the sun and the radiator manage to get Yonah's room up to 25° during the day and I keep his door “rather closed” to keep the warmth in there) and, of course, because the curtains area closed during these colder days, to keep the cold out, it was on the “darker” side. So Yonah was quite comfy on the “Sherpa” of my sweat-shirt. So we walked about, and had a chat and... AND...
When we got back into his room and I went to sit back at the work table, he took flight and headed directly into his house and to the mirror that hangs on the front... and looking into that mirror, seeing his “familiar” reflection, he IMMEDIATELY began “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!” (“Hey! I just saw ANOTHER one of us in another room over there! But I'm glad YOU'RE still here!”) There! Not only does this prove that he notices and recognises “another dove” (and honestly, he can't be expected to understand that it's a reflection of himself... I mean... REALLY... doves, parrots, parakeets, cats, dogs, fish, what-ever, from the wild, having NEVER had any reason, cause or occasion to see a mirror have NO cause to comprehend “reflection”). AH BUT... HE “REMEMBERS” the dove in the “mirror” in his house and went directly over to him to tell of his “adventure”! There! First-hand observation! A mourning dove “remembers”, at the very least... so THERE... THAT'S *THINKING *! (And again, the notion of murdering them... for “sport” and “fun”... it churns my gut!) WELL THEN... the day rolled along and Yonah spent quite a bit of it on my shoulder, my arm, beside me, on his “extended perch”, at his door perch... watching me and, when I'd take even the briefest break from the key-board, he'd “wing-snap” and we'd PLAY! and CUDDLE! and SNUGGLE!
Noting here: When I got up to leave the room for an after-noon coffee, he'd been on his “beach” in the sun, dozing, but noticed my movement and IMMEDIATELY GOT UP AND HOPPED OVER TO HIS DOOR PERCH as if “WHERE Y'GOING'?” When I looked to him and said “I'm just going for my coffee.” he gave a hearty “wing-snap” and so, I reached out, cupped him in my hands, rubbed my face over his head... he didn't budge, he was perfectly fine and comfortable and then went for my coffee. When I came back into his room, mere moments later, he was still on his door perch... as if waiting for me, and when I came through the door... “wing-snap”! I had to put coffee down and get to MORE SNUGGLES!
The entire day went along this line. It was STUNNING, in SO MANY respects and for SO MANY reasons! But WOW! This is MORE than a simple “bonding”. This Little Guy TRULY IS my very SOUL... and he seems to be VERY aware of that... and APPROVES!
Now then, came the evening and time for “evening routine”... the changing of the waters, the tidying of the house... As I poured the fresh waters, Yonah watched from his door perch and when I got to the last containers of fresh water and was about to take the bucket out to empty, he hopped onto my arm, scurried up to my shoulder AND, I expected him to fly off when I bent to get the bucket but... BUT he STAYED on my shoulder! So I tried to see how long that would last. WELL! I MANGED TO “CLEAN HIS MOSSES” (removing the little poops... such and easy clean-up, that) and as I got the bucket and went for the door of his room to head to the loo to empty the bucket... YONAH STAYED ON MY SHOULDER, CAME TO THE LOO WITH ME, WATCHED AS I EMPTIED THE BUCKET AND STAYED EVEN AS I RETURNED TO HIS ROOM! As we came through the kitchen, heading back to his room, he pecked at my ear. And when we got back, I put the bucket back where we keep it, and as I stood back up straight, Yonah went back into his house! He's NEVER done that! Usually, if he gets on my shoulder and, unless I actually talk him through and move slowly, he doesn't make it to his door before heading back to his house. THIS evening, he was comfortable, obviously felt secure with me. THIS is about to be a TRULY FASCINATING WINTER! Yonah and I are growing so much closer that it's really indescribable for me! I can't put into any words, the feelings in my heart, the depth of the amazement, the awe, the gratitude.
All the while, I keep thinking: Yonah wasn't “born in a hatchery”. He wasn't born into human presence. He was born in a little nest some-where in the woods or, perhaps a barn some-where. He was out in the wild, in the wilderness, foraging for food, with a flock of the same doves as he. He's not a “pet-shop purchase”. Nor is he an adoption from some other person. And yet, what-ever it is that I've been doing for him, from taking him in after his “ordeal” of being attacked, through a Winter (last) of trying to keep a proper distance from him, thinking he'd be going back out with the flocks, into his “natural” environment, and all the while, never really “knowing” what would be proper and best for him... he's come to actually understand and KNOW that I've done it all out of the purest, unconditional LOVE for him... and he's returning it all... under NO “obligation” at all. He TRUSTS me and WE have become our own “flock”... he and I. We... are a “ME”... he and I... just “ONE”. No, there are no words for this. I'm sure others have experienced this with other birds, and other Little Ones of the wilderness, but for me... this truly is “A FIRST”! I've attended other Little Ones from the wild over the course of my life-time, but they were always returned in a matter of days. I've had the company of “domestic” Little Ones... cats, dogs... but they were always already accustomed to the company of people. THIS Little Guy has “adopted” me as much as I've “adopted” him. And to some extent, I tend to believe, he's taken me into his heart as I've made him so much of mine... to some extent.
Anyway, as the day turned to night, blinds and curtains closed, the NatSpec light off, the radio playing some nice, calm music, the bird-songs gone silent (I do that at a certain hour to try to mimic the end-of-day that would be out-side late in the evening when all the birds have gone to their nightly shelter), Yonah has had his little “before bed-time” snack. I sat at his work table, noting the events of this day and he made himself cozy on his door perch, over the nice warmth of his radiator (now set back to the “4”th setting for the night.
Out-side it's raining tonight. A low of 3° with a “chill” of -1° round mid-night. Light rains through most of the night. Tomorrow's high of 4° (chill of 0°) with a bit of sun. I'll have another errand to run during the day but only the briefest and I've a bit of a list of little “tasks” round the house so? So... MORE DAYS WITH YONAH! (I used to literally dread this “old age” and “retirement” but, having “nothing to do” gives me SO MUCH TIME to do “nothing”... with THE BEST COMPANION ANYBODY COULD EVEN EVER IMAGINE! Leaving him for the night is a bit of a weight on my heart... even having to get to sleep over-night feels like I “violation of JOY”, but I know that we BOTH need our rest of a day... and... well... I DO go to sleep looking forward to first thing in the morning, the “call” and seeing my Little Guy there, on his perch... and him stretching his neck, that little “HOO!” of morning greeting. Makes me relieved that I don't have to get up, throw me together and leave for the day. (I can't imagine being away from him for an 8-10 hour day! IMPOSSIBLE!)
There, that covers it in its entirety. - Meanwhile, a note of other: my bottom-front teeth are feeling “odd”, a sif they're shifting again! It took SO MANY YEARS to get them to stay where they should be (that one tooth that held them in place came out when I was at Jim's or Margot's... it's been so long I can't recall... and sadly, I don't know that I have any of that info any-where... maybe I'll look it up tomorrow? or maybe not, what-ever) but they “look OK”. I even checked with the “dental mirror” this evening. Oh, but it would be just me if they snapped too. And there's a molar, under a crown, in the back, lower-left, that's starting to make itself “known”. Of course... of course... there's a bit more money to come in come January... and there's an increased loan payment then too. AND... I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF A RENT INCREASE WAS TO COME ALONG IN SHORT ORDER, SINCE “EVICTION WITH-OUT CAUSE” IS PROBABLY QUITE DIFFICULT THESE DAYS... WITH THAT “COVID” AND THE FACT THAT IT'S “WINTER”(ish). STILL, I WOULDN'T PUT ANYTHING PAST THAT SENILE OLD THING. I keep remembering him all but SCREAMING “I buy 5-thousand dollar trucks because I can't afford 50-thousand dollar trucks and still charge 500-dollar rents!” Oh, THERE was the truth in the face! AND the fact that he didn't “understand” that he has an extra month's rent as my “last month” that I'd paid before moving in. OH... yes... I see SHIT FLYING IN THE AIR... it's just a matter of “when”. - But never mind that. Tonight we're here... Yonah and I. And he's from the “wilderness” and, to a great extent, so too, am I. We'll get by... one way or another. - In other news... Tomorrow? I have to “juggle funds”, run for smokes, perhaps ice cream... nothing much. - The air purifier, the 2 “sound bars” and the “toggle switches” are due for delivery. YAY! Better “bird-songs” for Yonah and better AIR, for when the shit-sack next door blows that shit into the windows. - This week is a “holiday” week... with “Thanksgiving” on Thursday, so things get pushed about. I hope nobody comes near the house... and that that one next door goes else-where. She doesn't have any place for folks to actually sit and eat so... - And I really ought to shower before bed tonight, though I don't really want to. - It's 20.41 already... time to post the Journals, get a QI... get a SHOWER... get to bed! - WHAT A DAY THOUGH! WHAT AN “AWE-FULL” DAY! And now, Yonah is all tucked-in. Tomorrow... Tomorrow... Tomorrow... Yonah! - 21.04 PAGES UP... TIME for “wind-down”! WHEW! - 23.05 SHOWERED! OFF TO BED AT LAST!

Mon.22.Nov: 8.33 Sometimes stepping out for a smoke has it's rewards... RAINBOW! Got another one this morning. Rising up from the bottom of the mountains, across the meadow, across the road... in the Deming's yard. Quite delightful, though not as impressive as the previous one. But there it was... and to think: I could have walked across the road, right to the “source”, the “end of the rainbow”... for the “pot o' gold”. But, because it's me, the pot is probably at the OTHER end... and that disappeared up the main... and before it reached the ground. So? So, no pot... unless it was a “chambre” variety, which would be more in course of my “fortune”. Alas. (But, funny: I caught Mayor McFuknut on his front porch as well. Oh... “click click”. I wonder if I was seen, stepping out to the “parking lot” - as opposed to the “front yard” - to take my photos... Gee... I wonder... was I “seen”? Should doubt I'm “watched”. Morons.) - Anyway, now that I'm at Yonah's work table, TIRED, let me just add that yes, right after shower and “Good night” to Yonah, last night, I went directly to bed. I was still awake at 1.30 this morning, and must have slept quite “off” because my neck and head are sore this morning. And after turning the alarms off, both, I looked up at the clock... “7.03”!!! I jumped up and got rolling! (OK. It was actually closer to 6.50-something, but still... LATE!) Threw the morning together as I awaited “the call”... which came at about 7.10 this morning. Yonah was up and awake! A touch later, but then, the skies were quite over-cast at the hour and, of course, we're still on the “progressive” side of LONG nights and LATE mornings. Still, I was becoming “concerned”... but he woke, and so did I. And we got to HIS “morning routine” right straight away. - Yonah's quite “energetic” this morning. Almost immediately, he took to flight about his room, to the wall shelf, with a “hoo-HOO!”. What I'm uncomfortable with is that he faces the wall, in a corner. I WISH I understood what that actually is and what I ought to do about it. But, right now, as I type, he's on the shelving where the printer is, a touch on the “fluffed”. It's 21,8° in the room, and it's a mere 5° out-side... drizzling (hence and thus, the rainbow). Not “too cold”. Not “bitter”. But it's not expected to get any warmer during the day and there's a bit of a promise of SOME sun-shine... though, chance of “snow” round 10.00-ish. - Meanwhile, I probably ought to ponder, seriously, a juggling of accounts and a trip to town at some point, but I've got ice cream and the “stash” of smokes to carry through the next 2 days, and as I say, I'm tired... and truly not in any mood to leave the house. (I'll MUST to go before Thursday though... it being a “holiday” and all that shit.) - So for now... I can continue working on Yonah's “Home” page, I have “eyes” to put on the newer “head” (I have NO idea how this is going to work out but... we try and learn)... and I'm sure there's more to be done... Truth is, right now... I want to snooze... whilst the eggs in the pot on the hob cool. Yes... I cooked eggs this morning too. - BFD - 18.45 SPEAKERS (“Sound Bars”, as they're now called), AIR PURIFIER AND TOGGLE-PLUGS ARRIVED AND... ARE IN USE! The speaker sounds MUCH nicer than the little ones, it's some-what “stereo” now and even Yonah noticed the difference (ah, but he would). The purifier? Well, finding replacement filtres is about to be a pain in the arse (as advertised on Amazon, but... more searching for me). As for the toggle-plugs... there's been an “odour” that doesn't come from the purifier (because I haven't used it yet) nor from the speaker so I'll be keeping an eye on that. Other-wise... All is arrived in perfect order and done! Now, to figure where to put the other speaker... where it will do the most “damage”... I mean... most “good” for sound... as it were. - Now, Yonah's house is settled for the evening. The radiator is up to “5” tonight because of the “brisk chill” to come in the morning, tomorrow. And I'm off to working on Yonah's Journal because TODAY WAS ANOTHER “ROARING” sort of day with him coming to “roost” on my head AND COMING ALONG AS I SET-UP THE CONTAINERS IN THE KITCHEN BASIN FOR WATERS! - More later. - I have to watch a program at 20.00 tonight too. 'twill be an “interesting” sort of evening, I'm imagining. - 21.59 Watching tucker threw me off... I've work to do on Yonah's journal! Thankfully, I showered last night. I'll hit ONE QI off to bed and up and at it in the morning. Best part of the day: YONAH! Of course. There's SO MUCH to say about this day, ALL of which has EVERYTHING to do with HIM... so the best I can do here, to record the day's events is to simply “cross-reference/link” to HIS “Journal page”!
YONAH TAUBE ***** ***** ***** *****
His radiator is set on 5 tonight. Cold coming... and staying through Wed night! CHILL OF -10 tonight and -12 coming! The house thermostat will be set at 60F but HIS room will NEVER get that cold... and I'll see to that! - Oh the NYSEG bill came today... they Estimated! I have to check. Seems too cheap for having the oven running and the radiators running 24/7 but I can hope it's correct. Not that it makes any difference. THANKFULLY I TOOK THE BUDGET! (Although their “Estimate” comes in UNDER that but... it all works-out in the end... come the end of this budget... and a 400$ “balance due”... Oh well...) - 22.44 I AM FINISHED WITH THIS DAY!

Tue.23.Nov: IT WAS ANOTHER “RECORD-BREAKING” DAY WITH YONAH TODAY! I MEAN... *STUNNINGLY*-SO! SO, AS I DID YESTERDAY... I'M LINKING TO HIS JOURNAL AGAIN! IT DESERVES TO BE REPEATED... BUT... BETTER TO READ THE ORIGINAL ON HIS PAGE! THAT LITTLE GUY IS JUST INDESCRIBABLE THESE DAYS! COMING ALONG ON MY SHOULDER AS I PREPPED MEAL, DID THE WASHING-UP! CAME OVER AND WOKE ME WHEN I NAPPED! THE LOVE! THE CUDDLES! THE CONTACT! THE SNUGGLES! THE KISSES! THE AFFECTIONS! THE PLAY! HE'S AN ACTUAL, ABSOLUTE *** MIRACLE *** !!! SO... “LINK” TO THE PAGE IT IS HERE !!!
7.08 MORNING CALL! The first one sounded rather “odd”, a bit “weak” and “raspy” and I went into a heart-sinking depression, with WORRY! But, the three calls that followed, cleared nicely. So... in spite of the fact that I dragged me out of the bed with the “6.30” alarm... AWAY WE GO! MY LITTLE GUY IS UP AND AWAKE AND ABOUT AND THE WORLD IS WONDERFUL, AGAIN, TODAY! - 8.58 “Morning” is rolling along, and I'm feeling quite rather “shitty”... but, before bed last night... ice cream, egg nog and FOUR friggin' PopTarts! I DO know better but... and so, today, I shall pay... until this is all out of the system. - And last night, a few “contractions” to disturb the night, and an ITCH at the crook of the right knee... that, this morning, is now a “bruise” from the scratching. I'm at “that age” now... “bruising”. Ah... this “old age” bull-shit. But... I've got a Little Guy here who's in another “grand mood” this morning and we're BOTH going to be just fine! - And the gas was delivered this brisk and clear morn... ONLY 15 gallons! WOOHOO! And thankfully because it's 10-bloody-fucking-dollars MORE than it SHOULD be, at the “old” rate! Still, 49$ and a bit of change, which isn't the 70$ I was expecting. But... More and more I understand why it is that some people just feel the need to shoot some people because some people truly do NOT deserve to take Earth's air. And yes, I'll say it here... If Joe Biden were to go the way of John Kennedy... the world would be a better place for it. - On that note... the shit-sacks are in next door... thumpthumthump, bangbangbang, yakkettie-yakkettie through the wall. Fuktardz are in session. - I will NEED to make a run into town... later... I want the truck to warm in some sun before starting it (and here's to hoping it starts, runs, rolls and returns... charming). - And away we go. Things to do... - Oh... woke to the furnace running this morning. It was running at about 1.00 this morning too. Set at 60F... not good... the “COLD” weather hasn't arrived yet and I'm hoping to HOLD the oil through December at least! FUCK ME! - 11.18 BLOODY-FUCKING SMOKE IN YONAH'S ROOM AGAIN THIS MORNING AND NOW THE “PURIFIER” IS ON... and it's pretty much as expected: NOT! BUT THIS BULL-SHIT ABOUT ME HAVING TO BE “APPROVED” BY JOAN, AND THE DIATRIBE ABOUT “GULPS OF FRESH MOUNTAIN AIR”... more incentive to GTAFO of this shit-box. - BUT... the SUN is POURING in through Yonah's windows and I've just made a little shelf (sawing involved... fukkit) for the new speaker and... well... I also ordered a new “power strip” (same as the last one I bought) and new “toggles”... to accommodate the new “USB” shits. -
AND YONAH HAS BEEN ON MY SHOULDERS AS I WORK, AND ALL OVER HIS ROOM THIS MORNING! HE'S REALLY IN QUITE THE “COMFORTABLE ZONE” THESE DAYS AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER NOR MORE THRILLED NOR MUCH CLOSER TO HEAVEN! WE REALLY ARE A “FLOCK” NOW! PRECIOUS BABE!
Still feeling “off”... but not “bad”... just “off”. And will HAVE to go to town in a while. Just waiting for the sun to hit the truck enough. - Nothing in today's post and that's good news. - Still quite “chilled” out there though. “Winter”... no matter what the calendar calls it. - 13.40 WOW! AM I IN AN UNAVOIDABLE SHIT-FUCK OF A MOOD! Left the house at about 13.00... BOMBED to FamDoll, then to Stewart's for gas... $4,439/FUCKINGALLON !!! 4,562gallons ... $20,25 !!! I INTENDED TO SPEND ONLY 10$, THEN, EN ROUTE, DECIDED TO GO FOR 20... AH... THE FUCKING PUMP WENT TO 20,01 SO I PUT IN THE NEXT 24¢ JUST BECAUSE. THANKFULLY, THE TANK IS ALMOST FULL, BUT... $4,44/FUCKINGALLON? WTAF? REALLY !!! Then, on to market where, well, I didn't “need” much of anything, really, but since I was “in town”... I BOMBED through the store... 2 bloody wickets open. And, of course, when they opened another, some old *MASKED QUNT” put a “come-lately” in front of her and then took the next position in the queue! Never mind that I'd been standing there. Well, I didn't keep my mouth shut, though I didn't “yell”... the old qunt either didn't hear or didn't bother to respond... good for her too because my mood SOURED terribly! But I managed to get through and OUT! (Oddly, I now have more on the food than I had when I left the house. I have money for FOOD... and, were it not for Yonah, I wouldn't even bother at this juncture.) - Anyway... I was back in the house and the stove clock read... 13.30! WOW! - AND... BLESS ALL... THE TRUCK MADE THE TRIP THERE AND BACK... THAT'S ONE OF MY MAJOR MAIN CONCERNS, ALWAYS! AND IN -2° (THOUGH SUNNY) WEATHER! BLESS, OH BLESS !!! - * THANKFULLY... THE DEVIL-SPORE NEXT-DOOR WAS GONE WHEN I LEFT AND IS GONE... But I'd left the “air cleaner” on whilst away... Just turned it off again. I don't know that it DOES make a difference, and I can't say that it “doesn't” but... it ran anyway. - And now... 13.55... Yonah is on the arm of his futon and I'm about to hit for a snooze! Enough with this day! (And it looks more like 16.30, with this short day... JEEZUS KRISTE! But I'm thankful that it's 21° in Yonah's room... which will change when I close the door for our snooze... and the furnace hasn't run at all, all day. THANK YOU!) - 16.59 In a bit of “pain” in the chest... “heaviness”... after having an out-door chat with next-door. As if the cold “froze” something or... my lungs can't take the cold anymore? I fucking hope that isn't it! SHIT! - 20.36 Running a bit late again tonight. I've been trying to catch-up so here we go... - So... Mme. NEXT-DOOR CAME TO THE FRONT DOOR HERE THIS EVENING AND KNOCKED! I was SO tempted to not answer but... sadly, I did. She'd come to offer BIRD FOOD! Seems the spore is taking care of some place and the people had some bags of seeds there and the place now has mice and so, Spore brought them to Mama. How sweet. WHY SHE won't take them and feed the birds is anybody's guess but... she insisted that I have them and so I accepted. (I'll regret it, I'm sure.) She also asked if this house is insured and if so, how so when there's no railing for her front stoop. Come to find out, her son-in-law MADE a railing for her from a 2x4 in the garage! LOL! (as they say). So we chatted about the draw-backs of this place and come to learn, SHE had to BUY filtres for her furnace! When I told her that I don't even know where to put one on mine and how it smells terribly when it kicks on... she wasn't any too happy about that. She's learning. And as I told her, I didn't want to sour her on the place but I feel she deserves to know. She's sticking with “Alzheimer's”. I don't give a shit. I'm sticking with “What-ever.” She's also not gotten her window replaced and so has taped it. When we touched on “Thursday” she said she'll be baking pies and asked what I'll be doing and so I told her that I'm “flushing the phones, not answering the door”. “So I can't bring you a pie?” I dodged... sufficiently, I hope. But then she got into her “White Guilt” bull-shit about not celebrating “the invasion of white men who believe their pricks are so big”... and the annihilation of the “natives”... She truly is “thwarted”. But... that's her opinion and... around here... FUKKIT with opinions. I don't go over there, and I don't see her often and I don't care. ANYWAY... the seed? A LARGE bag of “TrueValue Black Oil Sunflower” and TWO bags of “Audubon Park Premium”! GOOD STUFF! Sadly... the sell-by on the Audubon” is... 2017, but I doubt there's anything “wrong” with any of it. The bags are all still “factory sealed” and it's for the out-side birds anyway. (I now wonder if she thought I'd give it to Yonah. HAH! She has NO clue what he gets... and it's of no concern to her anyway.) - MEANWHILE... that's the evening... - As for the rest of the day? Well, that's accounted-for at the very beginning! It's been nothing short of a complete *MIRACLE*! YONAH IS MY HEART AND SOUL AND NOBODY WILL EVER UNDERSTAND THAT! AND I WILL BE DOING ALL THAT I CAN TO MAKE CERTAIN THAT I'M HERE FOR HIM FOR AS LONG AS HE'S HERE AT ALL AND AS SURELY AS SURE CAN BE... WHEN THE MOMENT COMES... WE'LL BE OUT OF HERE TOGETHER. (I'LL “FIND” HIM... I'VE NO DOUBT... IF THERE'S ANY TRUTH TO A “SOUL”... MINE WILL FIND HIS... AND I KNOW HE HAS ONE... MORE-SO THAN WE PEOPLE DO!) - And on that note, it's 21.04, the house is taking a chill again and I want to get to bed before mid-night. I'm a bit disappointed in the work that I didn't get to today, but I honestly have NO CLUE as to HOW time can pass so fucking quickly! It's not that I “lounge about” all day. And although yes, day-light hours are quite few lately, I STILL can't account for the passing of time and the little I manage to accomplish! So... to that end... I still have photos that I want to put here (the rainbow the other day) and on Yonah's site... but right now, I believe I'll hold them for tomorrow... but I WILL put the text onto the severs tonight... just to be sure it's safe. - Tomorrow? Well... what-ever... We have to make it through tonight's -10... and then comes tomorrow's -12. Oh... woo-the-fuck-hoo. - 23.03 So much for getting to bed at a “civil” hour. Though, how well I remember the years when “the adults” would watch the “11 O'clock News” and then go to bed. Imagine? 23.30 and be up the next morning to go to work. Oh, but the world is ... fucked. Good night.

Wed.24.Nov: 7.03 HOW? Oh well... I woke at 5.00, fully-rested, considered getting out of bed, but decided to wait for the alarm at “6.00”. Dozed off... the alarm sounded... I snoozed. The “6.30” alarm sounded and I had the time of it, trying to stop it and it pissed me off. That's how the day commenced... pissed off. Got up, the furnace running, and got to the regular shit of a morning, including the lighting of the terracotta. I'm in from smoke on the porch, head full of a bit of anger with the situation here, wanting to be out of this shit-box. A delightful way to begin a day. And yes, it's cold out there, but we're supposed to get “9 hours of sun” today so... SUN-SHINE FOR YONAH! And I'm “concerned”, as the clock on the lap-top reads 7.07 and no sound from Yonah. My heart “sinks”, when I don't hear from him in the morning. I'll be in to check in moments... I don't want to disturb him if he's still sleeping. PRECIOUS Little Guy. - My stomach's “off” this morning. It's the “egg nog”. No doubt about it. But I've had quite the impressive BM, could use another but no loo roll. That's in Yonah's room. So? We wait and I “occupy” the time. - “Today is what-ever I want it to be.” MUST keep that in mind. - Moving along. - I've photos to work with/on today, and Journals and Yonah's “Introduction” and... “things”. Thankfully, no “things” to drag me out of the house. - And bird seed to put up into containers of some kind. (I don't like having the bags in the house... it took me too long to get the mice out!) - 14.05 A morning of flying about... back to the floor... I wonder if it isn't just “too hot” when it reaches 25° in Yonah's room. And as he did... I FINALLY CAUGHT-UP WITH HIS SITE! IMAGES AND ALL! And now? On to ... NEXT! - And the phone/door-answering is officially CUT! FUCK THE FUCKING WORLD! - Oh... and the sun is SHINING! (But it's fucking COLD out there!) And I need to get Yonah another pine... the one in the front of his house has suffered from the radiator... poor thing. But not today... the sun's too low already. - 15.16 The sun is already noticeably low in the sky! And Yonah's room has been “hands and knees” Hoovered. Enya playing. Ginger tisane. I need a “lie-down”... Yonah's site is current though! YAY! - 19.18 Just getting Yonah tucked-in and a text from a “315” area code... Syracuse... “Can I call you later?” Wrong number, obviously... on the “Woodhauler” line (Plattsburgh 0729). Imagine that! Oh well... Back to “closing house”. Yonah's ready... to be honest, so am I... - 19.42 And I'm feeling as if it were 21.42! - Yonah's all tucked-in for the night. That “mystery number” has been settled. They (he? she?) “thought” I'd called. Hmmm... The thing that pisses me off is that they called and the 0729 isn't ringing through... but bleating texts come through... on the fucking old “ATT” phone! That piece of shit! If I could afford, I'd drop the damned thing in the trash and replace it. But, these phones are costly these days so... - Anyway, as for the day? Well, it seems “my” Journal is going to become just a list of links to Yonah's because, well... I'll just include today's AMAZING ADVENTURE here tonight and “refer” to HIS Journal for today's “particulars”:
YONAH TAUBE ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
It really is rather cute (and a comfort) to have a Life... that's really ALL about this Little Guy! Imagine... ME... a “Bird People”! One thing I came to terms with today, though, is that, I can't and won't let the “out-side world” effect (affect?) the Life Yonah and I have IN this house! It might not “feel like a home” any more, but the truth of the matter is, I don't associate out-side any more, and I don't have to associate out-side any more, other than trying to find a place we CAN call “HOME” and mean it and feel it. BUT... IN HERE... IT IS “HOME” BECAUSE IN HERE IS WHERE MY HEART AND SOUL IS... IN HIS OWN LITTLE ROOM, WITH ALL OF MY LOVE AND DEVOTION. SO, WE'LL TAKE IT FROM THERE FROM NOW ON AND THE REST? WELL... RUN OFF A CLIFF, FOR ALL I CARE. IN HERE... THIS IS WHERE YONAH RESIDES AND IF THIS IS COMFORTABLE FOR HIM... IT'S PERFECTLY COMFORTABLE FOR ME! - (And as I type, the “Feeble One” next door is becoming animated... thump.... rumble-thump... shit-sack. I can only imagine what tomorrow is going to be like if it gets to baking “pies”... I'm just hoping it doesn't decide to get to that during the night tonight... It's going to the Spore's on Friday so... no need to get all “rushy-rushy” in the middle of the night. But then... we're not dealing with a lot of “sanity” here. And tomorrow? I'm NOT answering phones or doors. I'll “step out” for a smoke now and then but I'll make DAMNED-SURE to avoid ALL at ALL costs! I do NOT want to be arsed! - THAT said... - I need to get another tree for Yonah at some time soon. It'll be a bit difficult now that the trees have gone into “Winter”, and I'll have to HOPE for soil loose enough to dig. But that one tree has really taken a beating from the radiator. I feel shitty that it suffered... but Yonah needs a new tree. - Oh... I did manage to glue his new “speaker shelf” together today... as well as get his Journal and photos and videos caught up. So there's that. And the sun DID shine beautifully through the day... - HORROR COMING... GRÉSIL!!! I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT FOR HOURS! TOWARD THE END OF THE WEEK! I WORRY ABOUT THE TRUCK! BAD ENOUGH THERE ARE UN-EXPLAINABLE SCRATCHES ON IT... FUCK! I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE IT GOES ANYWHERE. (I grow weary of this place... I do.)
ALMOST FORGOT, IN CASE I DIDN'T MENTION... I CHECKED THE OIL TODAY... EVEN WITH THE FEW TIMES THE FURNACE HAS RUN, IT'S ALMOST NEGLIGIBLE ON THE GAUGE! OH... I JUST HAVE TO HOLD ON AND HOLD OUT! BUT IT WAS QUITE A RELIEF TO COMPARE PHOTOS TO SEE THE USAGE! WOOOHOO! Fuck. -22.02 IT'S A WRAP! And I'm off to the BED! Furnace set at about 65F. It's to be a cold night, not “bitter” but... and Yonah's radiator is set at “4” so I'm putting the furnace up. Now... let's see what kind of night is ahead... shit.

Thu.25.Nov: 9.09 and ensconced in Yonah's room... AT LAST! AND HE'S IN QUITE A MOOD THIS MORNING! IN FACT, HE'S JUST BEEN ON MY HEAD AS I WAS SITTING ON HIS FUTON, CHECKING “MESSAGES” ONT HE PHONE! AND HE'S BEEN SO ACTIVE THIS MORNING... FLYING ABOUT WHILST I WAS IN THE KITCHEN. My plan for the day is to be with him... nothing other. And, maybe it's just me but this morning just “feels odd”, “off”, “strange”, almost “wrong”. In fact, as I was moving the lap-top into Yonah's room, moments ago, there was a “THUMP” that sounded as if it came from the kitchen, the fridge, and the desk lamp dimmed for a second. I've checked the breakers and all are “on” so I'm wondering WTF happened. I'm sure we'll see what, if anything... eventually. MEANWHILE... the day's “plan” remains the same: NO PHONE, NO DOOR, NO PEOPLE, NO SHIT! I've NO PATIENCE for any of that today. - AND... I didn't get out of the bed until almost 7.00 this morning! Had JUST enough time to get the kettle on and Yonah called. So it was a steady “roll”... coffee, Yonah, birdies in the yard, then Yonah's “morning routine”, coffee, dress, smoke, “internet”... - There's a “thread” on Twtr this morning, dealing with the “changes” noted by others, in the “jabbed” folks... INCLUDING SEVERAL MENTIONS OF THE PALOUR I NOTICED IN Mayor McFuknut! That “green/grey” palour! So it would appear that I wasn't just “imagining” it! AND... the changes in personalities, the “aging”, as I've noticed from the McFuknut as well... the slumping and slouching. And the personality changes... as, I'm thinking, Mr. Mass-hole YELLING at me because of his truck and such. Oh, indeed, one can't help but think “Apocalyptic”. Surely, we're about to see things we thought impossible, I shouldn't doubt. And with the attempts to erase and eradicate history... one would have to say “Here we go again.” Surely, to some, my opinion(s) must come across as being “insanity”, at least to a point. But, then, I'm pretty sure that that was the same in the “Hitler Days” of dear Germany. One major issue today, in contrast to then: Today there isn't any-where on the planet to go to to escape this shit... I shouldn't doubt that what was once the most “remote” spaces are under surveillance of some kind, marked and noted. Nope. No “escape” these days. Oh well...
MY ONE AND ONLY, SOLE AND SOLITARY CONCERN IS YONAH... (and, Mimou, Hallie and THE LITTLE ONES... BUT ESPECIALLY AND PARTICULARLY YONAH! So I have to mind me and my general health and such to make certain that I'm here for HIM... keep me healthy, strong and aware... and what-ever becomes necessary for HIS comfort and survival is all that I'll be concerned with and about.
THAT all said and done, I'm at the work table, Yonah is flitting about his house, the bird-songs are playing, I've a couple of “things” I want to get to today... and let's just hope that folks stay away from the doors... I TRULY DO NOT want to be arsed today... especially with that one next door... here and on the main. - Oh... and it's supposed to be a bit sunny/cloudy and chilly today... “grésil” is still on the menu for tonight. Oh well... let's just see if we manage to make it to “tonight”... - Time to roll along... get something accomplished with this day... especially getting Yonah's site together. I still have to work on the Intro and there are modifications to be made to the “Care” pages... I'm learning... and have to adjust the info on those pages, accordingly. - Today, I'm “thankful”...
THANKFUL FOR THE GIFT, THE HONOUR, THE PRIVILEGE, THE BLESSING OF... YONAH! AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. PERIOD!
Moving along.... - 20.08 IT WENT BY TOO QUICKLY AGAIN! THE DAYS WITH YONAH JUST GO BY SO SO QUICKLY.... TOO TOO QUICKLY! He's tucked-in and the house is settled. His Journal is ready to go to the server. AND I HAVE SEVERAL VIDEOS OF HIM AND ME TODAY! HE WAS ON MY HEAD, ON MY SHOULDERS! HE WAS WITH ME WHEN I CLOSED THE WINDOWS IN THE BED-ROOM *AND* AS I MADE THE BED THIS EVENING! WE PLAYED! WE TALKED! HE WAS ALL OVER THE ROOM DURING THE DAY. IT WAS JUST, AS I CALL IT: “AWE-FULL” !!! We had a few hours though where, I'd gone for a lie-down, late in the after-noon, and as I'd gotten comfortable, he came over, as he does of late, to rest on my shoulder. When I looked up to give him a little “peck” I noticed that he kept his left eye closed! Something had irritated it! I, in a panic, got up, as he went back to his house (thankfully, he could see well-enough to fly) and went, IMMEDIATELY to the internet to see if I could find any guidance or help, something to explain and describe his eyes and hoping to learn what to do for him. Of course, it was nothing but annoying, bull-shit, the usual forums with questions un-answered, or the “answers” from “alleged experts”... most of which closed with “get immediate help from your avian vet”! One thing that DID come of it was that I've learned about a dove's eyes and how they have THREE “lids”, one of which “cleanses” the eye and through which they can see... As it was said, flying at the speeds they do, over the distances, they can't afford to blink, so the “lid” protects the eye. Well... it took about 4 hours, all told, and tonight, he's as fine as if nothing happened. Needless to say, I never did get that lie-down. But I don't care. There was mention of “flushing” his eye, but I don't want to do anything that would cause him ANY truama. It's taken a YEAR for his trust, I'm not about to put that in ANY jeopardy! And then, I remember back when he first came in, with his leg dangling, and I thought it would have to be amputated. THANKFULLY I WASN'T THAT STUPID! And his wing... how those horrid feathers would grow in and cause him obvious discomfort and I didn't know what to do about it... and how I thought it was permanent. I look at him today, remembering a year ago... his leg is perfect, and after this moulting, his wings are BEAUTIFUL! “Nature”... OH how Nature attends to her Little Ones! More... “AWE”, to be sure. - Well? Nobody came to the doors today and I'm “thankful” for that. And meal this evening? Well... I'd put 4 chicken breasts into the oven at about 15.00 and baked them until 17.00. I decided to mix a tin of “cream of mushroom” soup up and into that, put half-stick of butter... and cooked noodles in it. With that, a hefty dollop of cranberry sauce and WOW! It actually tasted like a “Thanksgiving turkey dinner”! The cranberries and the richness of the noodles with the poultry... REALLY IMPRESSIVE! A “MUST REMEMBER” DISH! - Sat at 17.00 and, of course, was washing-up at 17.30, which was time to get to Yonah's “evening routine”. I'd closed his windows up before meal so it was a matter of water and kitchen roll. And he supervised! - All day I'd worked on his “Introduction” page and it's now posted to the site. And there are “modifications” to some of the “Care” pages that I want to work on. - I still have yet to work on the “eyes” of the second “head”, but I'm in no particular hurry. - More “thanks”? The house was calm all day. How sad to think that shit will return tomorrow... and then again on Saturday. I enjoy the days when the idiots aren't pounding the wall all morning and the others are yacking out-side the windows. (OH... but I truly need to get the fuck out of and away from this shit-box!) - Over all, it was GLORIOUS! I just MUST keep in mind to keep INSIDE these walls and let the rest of the world go fuck itself... which it's doing quite well, indeed. - Tonight? Well, as I type, it's raining. Low tonight is supposed to be 1°... rain through tomorrow and tomorrow night, that “grésil”. We shall see. Nicely, the furnace didn't have to run today and I really didn't need to run it at all. A nice relief. Hopefully we'll have another day of the same tomorrow. - I need to get out and get a new tree for Yonah... if it rains through the night, the ground should be soft enough tomorrow... I'll have to head out early-on in the day though. Can't think of where... probably back down by the river. And then I'll have to figure out how to keep the next one from being “baked” buy the radiator. Oh well... that's tomorrow... this is tonight and thankfully too... the thing next-door has been civil all day. (And it'll be gone tomorrow during the day... though there's snow in the foreacast... BUT THEY'RE “VTers” and that shouldn't bother them at all... “shouldn't”... - Enough... I'm heading into “negativity” and I refuse. - Oh... I tried the other new “sound bar/speaker” this evening with the phone. Not really too awfully impressive in the sound and volume. It's “typical”... tinny and not very loud but... it'll serve a purpose. It's not (as I thought today) as if I actually listen to anything out-side Yonah's room, and at that, it's been his bird-songs (which I must find more of for more variety for him) all through the day. - Well now then here there, time to wrap this. It's 20.33 and I WANT to be IN BED round about 22.00! (HAH!) - WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY THOUGH! And MORE photos and MORE videos to post to Yonah's site! - Oh... passing thought: The art-work... haven't hear a blip... wondering if they all got destroyed or did “Mindy and Mike” decide to put them up for sale. Well? 16 years... I didn't have them, gave them all up for gone. It really doesn't matter at all anymore anyway... It was “interesting” whilst the incident of them being found lasted. Nothing gained... nothing lost... Nothing... again. - 22.52 DONE! FINISHED! OUT!

Fri.26.Nov: 7.00 on the number, and I'm in from morning smoke on the porch... in the rain... wet, liquid, rain, not snow, nor ice. And I'm TIRED! And I woke at 5.55 (on the clock) for a loo-run and went back to bed for the 6.00 alarm, then dozed until the 6.30 alarm... both of which are earlier but... none-the-less... and here we are, waiting for the “morning call”. - I'm really looking forward to another day like yesterday: just Yonah and me... and no world. It was delightful. (And my hatred of and for “others” deepens.) - 14.10 IT'S GOING BY TOO QUICKLY! ANOTHER DAY IS PASSING TOO QUICKLY!!! - BUT... Yonah's photos are current to-date. I DID manage to get that much done. And, I've done a “cut-and-glue” of the new eyes on the 2nd head and THE FIT! Now, I just hope they STICK! And they don't look half bad... one must to say. - Other than that? Nothing in today's post, save another “life insurance offer” from the CU. $1k “coverage” for “free”... that reduces by 50% at age 70. I'm pondering taking it and trying to put Yonah as the “beneficiary”. Too bad though, that it never has a “cash value” unless I get killed or “lose a limb”. Oh well... - And as for YONAH? IT'S BEEN ANOTHER DAY OF FLYING ABOUT AND ALL BUT DEMANDING ATTENTION, CONNECTION, AFFECTION, PLAY! AND, OF COURSE, I'VE BEEN IN UTOPIA, TAKING BREAKS TO OBLIGE! - But I'm a little on the weary side right now. The rain and grey out-side don't make matters any better, to be sure. - (Listening to music at the moment... “Think About It”... a re-mix but... How my mind goes back, so quickly, clearly, strongly. I know that I'm sitting here, in this house, but I'm really not... not at all. It's a BEAUTIFUL place to be... back at G's, on the grounds, at the pool, on the dance-floor... and EVERYBODY'S right here... until the “pain” starts... the reality that there is NO “G's” to EVER go to, back or other-wise. And all those “EVERYBODYs”... MOST of them are dead... gone... there's no “going to meet them”... any-where... any-more... ever again. And then come the moments before leaving the house to go to G's... the brutality, the beatings. But they're all soothed and cured, healed by the “arrival”... and in spite of the bruises and other damages... that never happened. My “life” always re-started, fresh and clean, the moment I turned off the 208 and onto that old dirt drive. Strange, I suppose, how I literally DIDN'T BRING ANY of the house with me... not even onto that drive. It truly is quite amazing... in retrospect.) - Anyway... I ought to do a bit of cleaning in the rest of the house but I don't want to. I “need” a shower today, and am pondering “now or after meal or before bed”. What-ever. What I do believe I'll do is take a snooze. - 14.22 STOP THE CLOCKS! OH PLEASE! STOP THE CLOCKS! - 20.25 WELL! THE DAMNED CLOCKS DIDN'T STOP... AND HERE WE ARE, THE END OF THE DAY... AND... OUT-SIDE, IT'S BLEATING ***** SNOWING ***** AND THERE'S QUITE AN OCCASIONAL WIND GUST! BUT... THANKFULLY, IT AIN'T ***COLD***!!! So I'm fine with that. In fact, the thermostat was set at 64F for a brief while, earlier, to take the “damp” out of the house before settling Yonah in for the night and it hasn't kicked so I re-set it for 60F again. Yonah's radiator will keep him warm enough... ALTHOUGH... THERE'S A THREAT OF A CHILL OF -13° FOR EARLY TOMORROW MORNING AT 7.00! SO I'VE SET AN ALARM FOR 6.00 AND MUST MUST MUST GET UP! TO MAKE SURE! - Anyway... - (It's Saturday and I have to “fill-in” the notes here. I just get tired and distracted of an evening, and plain “lazy”, to be honest... so here we go at 13.05...) - Well... MOST of what-ever I'd have to say about today has EVERYTHING to do with YONAH! SO fortunately, I manged to pass the ENTIRE day in his room, in his company, with his antics and enjoying the “new” him! I mean, he's ALL OVER the room lately, flying from his house to the shelves to my head, on my shoulders... AND... HE'S RIDING ON MY SHOULDER EVEN AS I MOVE ABOUT THE HOUSE! It TRULY IS, AS I CALL IT: “AWE-FULL”! I'M FULL OF AWE! In ALL of my life-time, I NEVER would have even remotely imagined having such a close companion in... well... A WILD MOURNING DOVE! HE ACTUALLY ENJOYS MY COMPANY (I dare say, as much as I enjoy HIS), and the TRUST? THE TRUST !!! AND HOW HE ENJOYS “CONTACT”! I CAN “SCRATCH HIS BACK”, AND STROKE HIS BREAST AND FONDLE AND, WELL, WHEN I STOP, HE “WING-SNAPS” FOR MORE! I MEAN... REALLY... A “WILD” LITTLE MOURNING DOVE? I've no idea what I've done to deserve such an HONOUR... a PRIVILEGE, SUCH A GIFT, BUT IT MAKES ME RE-THINK “NATURE”... THE WORLD, AS A MATTER OF FACT. And I keep thinking that he MUST “KNOW” how much he is to me. He MUST actually “KNOW”. Other-wise, I'm CERTAIN, not only would he never let me hold him, he wouldn't come NEAR me. But he DOES... in fact, when I come into his room, he comes to his door, if he's been in his house, and wing-snaps... He's actually happy to see me! No, I NEVER would have imagined this! Anyway, I got his Journal up to date and put more photos on. And I've got some sort of notion to re-work the entire formatting, but it's just a notion. I started... we'll see. I like the way it looks now but we can always keep it “fresh”... I suppose. Besides, it gives me time to sit in his room... with him. (I'm at a point where I TRULY DO NOT WANT TO BE ANNOYED WITH ANYBODY ELSE! Just the thought of leaving the house is, well, it's become physically sickening. “Psychotic”? Not yet. But then, as the world out there goes insane, with riots, theft, murder, the idiots with their masks and psychotic phobias about “flu”... I'm better in Yonah's room... After all... I'm seriously here ONLY for him. We're together... until we're not... and then, if there's any sort of “truth” to all the rumours and superstitions... it won't be long until we're back together again. I wonder how it'll be... and where. It'd be GRAND if we, our “energies”, would meet “out there”, where-ever, and we could just “float about” in some vastness. I could meet his Friends, he could re-unite with them, he could meet the folks I've missed... I think, at these times, of this “eternal, infinite space” out there, that has to end. It makes my head spin, and my limited mind just can't grasp it, but I have to wonder: if it truly IS all that huge, large and endless, maybe there IS some sort of “place” or “being” that we... ALL of us... ALL things that have “life”, move on to. I know... “looking for a purpose, and explanation, but... it's never been proved... it's never been disproved either. And it's been a “notion” for as long as humanity has been recording anything. So... I can “dream”... it's what makes dreamers the “what we are”. And... even more-so... I can “HOPE”. One day... we'll see... or not. But for now... “LIFE” is YONAH! And that's that. - Moving along (with my notes here); this evening, as I was “tidying” the kitchen, I happened to notice that it appears that the cup-boards in the kitchen, on that “North” wall, are “coming away” from the wall. I'm noticing the “dark wall” behind them now. I doubt they've been like that all along. And that wall is strange anyway. There's a noticeable “window” that used to be there, larger than the one that's there now. And water has managed to get in from the out-side, so there's no doubt that it's weaker. Well? If the cup-boards DO come off and fall, I'll take photos of the incident, and of the damages and what-ever the expense of replacing things is, I'll just deduct it from the rent, with photos and receipts and the likes. And then, just to finish the point, I'll send the broken items to Massachusetts. I truly am just so fed-up with this shit-box and that Mass-hole. And, to be quite frank, I'm REALLY expecting a notice of “increase in rent” to something I can't possibly afford... and the ensuing court appearance(s) which I'm more-than-certain will follow... at least until I find another place to move to. And THAT one won't be on some main road, and the land-lord WON'T be a “New Englander”. And YONAH WILL STILL HAVE HIS OWN ROOM... WITH SUN-LIGHT AND WINDOWS THAT CAN BE OPEN TO THE FRESH AIR IN SUMMER, AND WILL KEEP THE COLD WINTER OUT! And there we'll be. As I say, I'm truly fed-the-fuck-up with this shit-box and not being able to feel “at home” here. (Except when I'm in Yonah's room, with Yonah... of course.) - To add to my “anxieties”.... ***** YONAH'S RADIATOR KEEPS MAKING SOME SORT OF “SNAPPING” NOISE LATELY. IT'S DONE TWICE THIS EVENING! I'M TEMPTED TO SLEEP IN THERE TONIGHT, JUST TO MAKE SURE AND CERTAIN THAT IT ISN'T ABOUT TO LEAK OR BURN-OUT. BUT THE OUTLET AND PLUG ARE COOL TO THE TOUCH. (AND I REALLY CAN'T AFFORD ANOTHER RADIATOR... THIS IS *NOT* THE SEASON FOR BUYING ONE AND THE OIL? WELL I'M FUCKED THERE, TO BE SURE. AND EVEN THEN, THE THERMOSTAT FOR THE FURNACE IS IN THE LIVING-ROOM AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ONLY IMPORTANT ROOM IN THE HOUSE... YONAH'S.) I'm going to exchange the radiator in the living-room for the one in Yonah's room. That way, I can see if “Yonah's” snaps in another room AND, since I know the one in the living-room is OK, I'll feel better knowing THAT one is in Yonah's room. - 20.34 ONLY JUST TOOK PILLS AND I WANT A SHOWER... WELL... I CAN TAKE ONE IN THE MORNING... IT'LL WARM ME AND THE HOUSE A TOUCH. THERE. BUT I WANT TO BE IN BED SOON SO... I'm just going to keep my “notes” for the day, as I do when I'm just too damned lazy to “expound” and it gives me more time with Yonah tomorrow anyway. For now... “notes”, a “QI” and off to bed... ASAP. The most important issue of the day is complete: YONAH'S SITE IS CURRENT AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME! - Oh... and tonight's forecast? A “chill” of... -13°. Well... it's not -30! Nor -40! And it's a “chill factor”... wind across the skin and such. But it makes the exchange of radiators a necessity. I'll NOT have anything happen to Yonah, and I'll NOT have his room get so chilly that he HAS to fluff those feathers against a chill! - 22.07 It's -1° out there, there's the lightest snow blowing in the air currents (horizontally), the main is WET... AND THE FUCKING PLOUGH JUST CAME ROARING THROUGH! EARLIER, JUST AS THE SNOW STARTED FALLING, THE SHIT-SAX OF THE TOWN CAME THROUGH ON THE HILL! - I'm going to bed. I've had MORE than my tolerable fill of the stupidity. - I've exchanged the radiators, putting the living-room radiator in Yonah's room because of the “CLACK” his was making. Of course, now I worry about that fucking outlet in his room. Plugs don't fit properly in that shit and plugging things in makes a “crunch”. I think of Mayor McFuknut busting Ms. Vtrash's outlet with the chain saw and how he said he'd either repair it or have someone repair it for her... I can't recall whether or not the Mass-hole replaced it when it was last here (to yell at me because of the stove I've tolerated for 2 years). I'm going to HAVE to buy a new outlet now because THIS will NEVER do! And, to be quite honest, I really don't want Mass-hole coming back here... and I don't want one of his “people” coming in to replace/repair. I might not be too sure of my own work, but I've done heavier electric work (and I've ever heard of that flat in Parkchester burning... not to mention the “electrician” who saw my wiring job did say “I know I didn't do that. It's too good, for one thing.”). Anyway... I CAN and WILL make it safer... one way or another... and if, after Yonah and I have left... I don't care. - 23.00 Ordered Yonah's MP3 player from Walmarde along with a new food jar and an outlet for his room. I had to bring the order up for free shipping so I threw in the outlet which is about a dollar and then, the extra jar... FOOD STORAGE... FOR MY LITTLE GUY! THERE'S NEVER TOO MUCH TO GET FOR HIM! And if the jar is the size I'm thinking, it'll be MUCH better than the “Dollar Store” canister! THIS one is “Anchor Hocking”. (Let's just hope all arrives in “NEW” order and WORKING order and LASTS... the “duration”.) - Thus far, there's been no crackling from the radiator now in the living-room. I DID exchange them. One “item of concern” though: the plug AND the wire are “warm to the touch” THAT never happened whilst it was in Yonah's room. I've cut the setting from “Full” to “Medium” I'll set an alarm for 3.00 to check it again and then another for 6.00. I have to be up before 7.00 anyway because THAT'S when the temperature is supposed to PLUMMET. Thankfully, not for the entire day, although the forecast is “negatives” for the “highs”. All lower single digits... and that's a bit of a relife. But... I'm off to bed NOW! MUST be up by 6.00 for the COLD!

Sat.27.Nov: 7.29 THE CALL! - 9.24 Pool in the kitchen basin, flushing with vinegar. The sky is clearing. The “hell-box” (a.k.a. Pee Oh) is running. I'm tired. Yonah is up and about (poor Babe... no pool, no fountain). Saturday is rolling along. 10.05 MOURNING DOVES ON THE BACK GALLERY!!!!! I looked out the loo window, as I do now, to see who's eating, if anybody, and there they were! There must have been 5 or 6 of them! They've found the food and are eating! I'm SO THRILLED, AND MY SOUL IS AT PEACE! (I still wish I could bring them in for the Winter, or come up with some sort of “heated residence” for them, but... it would do more harm than good, really. They're not Yonah. And they'd have to go out and about during the day for what-ever doves do of a day and “keeping them in the house”? Well... BUT THEY'RE EATING... AND THEY'RE EATING WELL with the seed that's out there for them. I'll have to grind more sun-flower seeds for them too... and see about a higher fat diet for them. PRECIOUS LITTLE ONES! - 11.12 POOL CLEANED, TUBING AND PUMP FLUSHED, A “SWEEP” OF THE “HOUSE” AND FRESH WATER! THREE HOURS... AND ALL SO WELL WORTH IT! - But (indeed... “but”) my chest feels “heavy” again, this morning. Hacking those “little clots” again. I wonder... I do. And those little “black flies” are back! WHERE? Where DO they come from? But (again), YONAH'S PLACE IS CLEAN, AND THE POOL IS CLEAN, and I've been to check the “empty” post-box... Now... on with the day! (I need a snooze.) - I DID get up at 3.00 to check the wire on the living-room radiator and to make sure Yonah's room was warm. Then, at 6.00-ish (the alarm), the furnace was running. Thankfully, not since. - The skies are clouding but there's clearing to the West. The snows, light as they are, are “lingering” and melting. And Saturday is rolling away... away... away... SHIT! - Yonah is in good spirits though. THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME! - 12.28 Saturday is... DONE! And the SUN IS POURING IN THROUGH YONAH'S WINDOWS! For the next 20 minutes, since, if it's in here now, it'll be gone in short course. SHORT DAYS! Damnit! But a LOT was accomplished this morning. - Oddly, I'm feeling “removed” though. “Light-headed', for some reason. I don't like this, but it's not the first time and I doubt it's the last. So we move along. I've yesterdays Journal to catch-up on and with and today's for Yonah. Other than that? I KNOW there's something i ought to be doing but... never mind. - Yonah's taken to the futon today, for some reason. It's SO CUTE! I've spent a lot of time in the kitchen this morning and when I walk into his room, there he is, all comfy on the futon! I wonder what's brought that on, but I'm happy to see that he's comfortable enough to “expand his territory”. He's comfy in his house, and that makes me happy. But I DO like to see him out and about, using his wings. - I finally got to have a lie-down from 12.30-13.00 this afternoon and... AND... YONAH WAS ON THE FUTON WITH ME! And he came up to the pillow again! He TRULY TRULY IS COMFORTABLE in his room... his little world here. Between that and his comfort on my shoulder as I go about the house... THIS IS WONDERFUL! Not so much about the “bonding” bit, but the TRUST AND HIS COMFORT IN AND WITH HIS SURROUNDINGS! Yes, I still feel horrid that he never went back to be with the flock but this is GRAND! I don't feel “as horrid”. This is his “home” and he appears to be “fine” with that. - 13.52 Just finished with yesterday's Journal and turned to find Yonah at his door. I picked him up to put him on my shoulder and... HE'S WET! HE WAS IN HIS POOL WHILST I WAS TYPING! And here I was asking him if he's warm enough! SWIMMING! And out-side his windows, the ground is covered in a light blanket of snow (though the sun is shining in). And now, as I type, he's “preening”... ON MY SHOULDER! - 14.18 and I'm rolling along with Journals... the sun is still coming in through Yonah's windows. Was just out for a quick smoke... the WIND is blasting the snow about, the sun is shining... LOW in the sky. It isn't “bitter” out there but it IS “COLD”... “FRETTE”, to be sure. 21,6° in Yonah's room though. That's good. - And a message from Walmarde... Yonah's MP3 player has “shipped”! Due to arrive, FedEx, on MONDAY! I have to get busy looking for more “bird-songs”! NEW... DIFFERENT... ADDITIONAL! WOOHOO(hoo-hoo-hoo!)! - And now that I'm caught-up with THIS Journal today... off to getting Yonah's started and then... and then... what-ever. I'll find something to fill the time... before “meal”, which will be “meagre” compared to the last 2 because, well, the portion of chicken is small and, as I'm thinking, the “balance” will be veggies. If I get to market tomorrow (I have to dip into the savings again for smokes...) I'll see about potatoes... Tomorrow night is “Chanukah”... “latkes” are called-for... IF I even have the what-ever it takes to make any. It really is SHIT... I'm just NOT in a frame of mind or heart to even “observe”, never mind “celebrate”. In fact, I still have to take the lights down from the living-room windows. I've been toying with the notion of hanging them IN-side the house but I can't think of where, how... or even “WHY”. I'll light the chanukiah... other than that... I mean, this “holiday” thing means nothing to Yonah... AND YONAH IS MY ALL... as long as he's here, THAT is a CELEBRATION! The rest? “People”. And I'm physically sick of “people” any more. Sure, on-line... social media... fine. But the physical presence? Fukkit! - And... as I move along... Yonah is on his door perch, over his radiator... and I'm still feeling “off”... Fatigue? The broken sleep of last night? I didn't “sleep properly” anyway, worried about the radiators and electrics. Come to think of it, I woke out of some sort of an “annoying” dream. Ii don't remember what it was. I seem to recall something about some woman who all but repulsed me, being in some sort of “pursuit” of me. As I say, I can't recall the particulars, but I remember waking... annoyed. - Oh well... rolling along... and listening to music at the moment. A little change for Yonah too. - And the sun is obviously setting already. Last night's “official” sun-set was at 16.30... It's only 14.30 and the low position of the sun is already noticeable. 24 more days of this shit... and then... for all it's worth... the sun will rise slightly earlier and set slightly later... with each passing day. KRISTE! The time... the days... pass so fucking quickly any more! - 14.40 TOO FUNNY... I was sitting here and saw UPS come by on the Hill... heard the knock on next-door and asked Yonah if there was anything due to arrive... from Amazon, at this point. Honestly, it's bad because I can't keep track of my “shopping” any more with this on-line shit. Well, I thought: No, nothing “due” until Monday... the new “surge bar” and “toggle-plugs”. Out of curiosity, I got up and was going to the living-room to see if UPS would stop here. He didn't but I looked out the window anyway and... AND... THEY'RE HERE! Monday's delivery... HERE... on SATURDAY! WOOHOO! So... I'm off to see if the new surge bar reaches the length needed! OH... if I only had the new outlet... (due on the 1st December... DECEMBER! ALREADY! JEEZUS!) Off to play! - 15.41 AND... the new “surge bar” in “installed” and the fountain is running and the NatSpec light is on and Yonah “FOLLOWED ME” AS I MOVED ROUND HIS HOUSE, BY THE WINDOWS AND ALL OVER THE ROOM! HE EVEN PERCHED ON MY SHOULDER AS I CLEANED-UP MY MESS! And the wire for the new “bar” reaches the lamp! So neat and tidy now. And with the “USB” outlets on the lamp so the fountain can be plugged-in with-out all sorts of “accoutrements”! NEAT! And with more than enough time to do a bit more typing, which is what this entire day has been about... BUT IT'S WITH YONAH and nobody's arsed us. Sadly... the sun is dipping now... and the sky is growing dark already. BUT THE NatSpec LIGHT IS ON SO... YONAH HAS WARMTH AND LIGHT... and he's enjoying it... ON HIS ROOF! - 20.29 Pills taken AT 20.00 so I'm rolling along here... AS THE WIND RUSHES OUT-SIDE AND I'LL TELL... IT'S QUITE RATHER REALLY COLD OUT THERE! IN FACT, IT'S SO COLD “OUT THERE” THAT THE FURNACE KICKED-UP ABOUT AN HOUR AGO! AND IT'S SET AT 64°! OH... IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ANOTHER -13° NIGHT TONIGHT! THANKFULLY, WE MADE IT THROUGH LAST NIGHT BUT THERE WASN'T ANY *WIND* THEN. MY DEEPEST DREAD IS LOSS OF POWER... AND NO HEAT... FOR YONAH! SHOULD THAT HAPPEN, THE BEST I COULD COME UP WITH IS TO MOVE THE TERRACOTTA HEATER INTO HIS ROOM AND GO IN THERE FOR THE DURATION! AND I DON'T LIKE THE NOTION OF THOSE CANDLES, BEING “SOY”, IN HIS ROOM! (Though I'd think that any sort of “exudate”, I'll call it that for lack of another term at the moment, would be absorbed by the terracotta. Still... but if I've no alternative, I've no alternative. It'll be a bit of a task, getting it into his room... in the dark, but we'll do what we must, and I'll do what I must to keep him warm and safe!) Météo claims it's merely -6/-11°, winds of 11 km/h and gusts of 17 km/h but it sounds and feels colder... mostly because of the wind. -10° for the low... chill of -13° at 6.00 tomorrow morning again. As I say... we made it through those temperatures last night... tonight will just be a bit of a challenge... with the winds.) - And so, here I sit at kitchen table, listening to the winds... - Now, that said... the ONLY “items” that I want to “record” before heading for QI and a shower are...
I'm taking directly from Yonah's Journal here
”NOW, for yet ANOTHER “MILE-STONE” in our little “Life Together”. I wanted just a 15-minute lie-down before wrapping the day up, nice and neat, so I turned his NatSpec light off and put the desk lamp on, set an alarm for the 15 minutes and went to his futon to lie down. As I did so, Yonah, in his house, coo'ed. I got up and brought him to the futon with me and rested him on my chest, and for a little while, he was quite content, nestled under my chin. When, apparently, that wasn't comfy, he took off and headed back to his house and I closed my eyes... only for the briefest while though because... there was the flutter and whistle of wings and THERE HE WAS... BACK ON MY CHEST!HEDECIDED HE WANTED TO COME BACK! HE LANDED ON MY CHEST, THEN STARTED WANDERING ABOUT, ACROSS MY CHEST, OVER TO MY ARM AT THE BACK OF THE FUTON, DOWN TOWARD MY WAIST... AND AS HE WANDERED ABOUT, HE PECKED, MOSTLY AT THE ZIP ON MY SWEAT-SHIRT. IT MUST LOOK LIKE SOMETHING THAT DESERVED “ATTENTION”! AND HE MOVED UP MY CHEST TOWARD MY CHIN AGAIN, THEN HOPPED UP ON THE PILLOW... STROLLED ACROSS THE TOP OF MY HEAD AND BACK DOWN ON THE OTHER SIDE TO MY CHEST AGAIN! HE WAS THERE FOR THE FULL 15 MINUTES AND THEN SOME! The alarm sounded and he was on my chest and I didn't want to disturb him. I WAS FASCINATED!HE CHOSE TO COME TO BE WITH ME!So I laid there for a full 10 minutes, at the very least, whilst he just wandered about, up and down, from chest to legs and back again. And when I wanted to get up, because it was approaching “nigh-night time”, he went up to his “extended perch” by the work table, I got up and began working with the little video and photos I managed to get of him at “lie-down”, and up there, over my shoulder, he preened and then settled. “AWE”... nothing short of it, nothing other than it... just “AWE”! “
Other than that, just a mention... There was the nastiest “mildew-like white substance” on the base-trim in the loo today! But to the sides of the vanity! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? IS THIS SHIT COMING UP THROUGH THE FUCKING BASIN? WASHING-WATER FROM THAT THING NEXT DOOR? (I really should have destroyed that washing machine whilst I had the opportunity!!!) Well... THIS is going to be another Rockaway stint with the plug in the bloody drain all the time! Oh... just another... ANOTHER REASON to GTAFO ASAP! I sprayed it all with “Clean-Up” and some Lysol and mopped with HOT water from the tap in the basin. I also sprayed the shower... because before I go to bed, I WILL shower tonight... I truly AM “offending”... even ME! - So that said... it's 20.45, I'm running later than I wanted to. Thankfully Yonah's photos and videos are all ready for up-loading and the pages are done, including his Journal. So it's a matter of putting this to code, up-loading, having a “nosh”... I didn't have dessert after the one “chunk” of chicken and “Stir Fry” with a hand-full of noodles with. I wanted to get Yonah settled before too late... and, at 19.30, he was tucked-in... SWEET PRECIOUS MOST WONDERFUL AWE-INSPIRING AWE-FULL CHERISHED HEART, SOUL AND CORE OF MY EXISTENCE! - He's tucked in... me next. - I put some money into chequing tonight hoping the truck will start and roll tomorrow... I'll DASH into town for smokes and provisions... and I DO MEAN “DASH”! The less time I have to be around ANYbody... the better. - 20.49... the damned furnace just kicked-up again! Time to “re-adjust”... although I don't want the house to be able to take too much of a chill tonight... OH... that reminds me... As I was laying on Yonah's futon this evening (above-mentioned), I wiggled my foot and I could see his house moving! WHAT the actual FUCK is going on with the god-damned FLOORS now? This shit-box... WE, Yonah and I, NEED to get out and leave it behind. OH PLEASE... GET US OUT OF HERE AND INTO A PLACE WE CAN CALL “HOME” FOR THE REST OF OUR DAYS! PLEEEEEEEEASE! - 23.19 -8/-13... the radiator in the living-room is “snapping” since I put it back up to “Max” so “Med” is it. I wonder... - No shower again... got lost in looking into where mourning doves sleep in Winter. (Woodlands, evergreens). And found another article on how many are murdered. UP-DATES to Yonah's site tomorrow! (and a run into town EARLY)

Sun.28.Nov: 7.24 Still waiting for “the call”...
Woke, just AT the 6.00 alarm (which I turned off and went back to sleep) from a “dreamlette”(?) in which I was explaining to some woman, and a “doctor” (I had reason to believe) why, when Yonah “leaves”, I will too. And the woman was trying to convince me that I oughtn't because there was the chance that another dove will come along and need me, need my help. And the more she (they?) tried to convince me against, the more I, calmly, simply told them that, after Yonah, I have NO reason or cause to continue. It wasn't an “angry” dream, it was simply “matter of fact”, as it were.
And when I looked out back this morning, the “tray” on the back gallery was missing! It had been blown off in last night's winds. Thankfully, it was right there so I put it back up and put more small seed on it, and moments later, I looked out to see than one dove, sitting in the centre... and moments after that, the blue jays were there, trying to chase the dove, but he wasn't having it! There was one jay who was quite aggressive with the others, and managed to chase them away, but the mourning dove simply moved to the edge and continued eating.
Last night, as I was looking into where mourning doves roost of a Winter's night, there were two comments posted to a forum in which the posters claimed that they'd mourning doves come to their feeders and the doves were aggressive, “bullies”, they called them. So, indeed, in fact, it seems that mourning doves are capable of defending self, food and territory. Bless them. I do suppose the can because Yonah can be quite aggressive... when he's a mind. - Now then... it's 7.33, the furnace is running (again!) and Yonah's not yet calling. I read that they sleep at sun-set and wake at sun-rise, and they “know” when it's time to do either. I've always suspected that Yonah “knows” because he used to “call” when it got dark out-side his window. The BAD thing I do of late is, I close his windows up just before sun-set, and leave his NatSpec light on for a while, so I'm interfering with his sleep. I have to “adjust me” from now on. It's just that I miss him terribly in these shorter days. But this is no time for selfishness.
7.35 THE CALL! MY LITTLE GUY IS AWAKE! OFF WE GO!
8.13 “Morning routine” complete and Mr. Feisty is/was out and about and has returned to the house. - I see that out-side, it's -12° with a “chill” of -13° but when I stepped out for a smoke, it doesn't feel that cold at all. It's grey, but then, it's November so... I just have to get out of here at some point, smokes and “provisions” and that's all! Another “RUN!”, out, there and back, and hopefully not bump into any lunatics or morons (fat chance, I suppose, but I can hope.) - (Catching-up on Monday.. 11.26. I really don't know WHAT takes a day's time away and it isn't that I snooze or doze all that much, or, really, at all, sometimes, but by about sun-set... now at about 16.30, fuck, I'm WASTED... and the best I do is jot notes during the day. Oh well... commenting isn't catching-up so...) - 19.40 I have NO idea how a day passes so fucking quickly and when it gets to where I'm sitting at table, “exhausted”... from I-have-NO-idea-what, whether I've “snoozed” during the day or not (and even then, it isn't more than 30 minutes anyway), it seems that I've no sooner gotten out of bed when I'm SO run-down that I have all to do to keep my eyes open. AND this evening... I managed to get through everything, including “meal” BEFORE 18.00 and I'm thinking “shower” and to bed. Meanwhile... - I DID manage to make it to town... later than I'd planned, closer to about 13.00, and I didn't get back until almost 14.00! I DO NOT LIKE BEING AWAY FROM YONAH THAT LONG... What took the most time... had a charming chat with Betsy at FamDoll. She's got a new fellow working there and she took the time to chat. MOST of it was about Yonah. She seemed truly interested, so I gave her one of his “cards”. Well, if nothing else, MAYBE his site will get some attention and MAYBE SOMEBODY will pay attention to the “fate of mourning doves”. If I can stop even one moron from massacring them... all has not been for naught. It was nice to chat with her... but honestly, too much time! - And then it was off to market, and there, although I didn't REALLY HAVE to go, I had a little list and then, of course, had to “consider” items. (I can't believe that I've still got over 200 on the card and there's another posting coming on the 9th again. I really need to get to a REAL supermarket... Hannaford's, but it's the time and gas that is, to me, too costly... mostly the time... away from Yonah. But money will go farther at Hannaford's, there's a better variety and I can buy larger packages. Oh well, we shall see. The truck could use a bit of a “run”... We'll see what the world is like on the 10th December... FUCK... those morons with their “flu panic”. That's a goddamned burden.) - “Meal” tonight, was AT 17.00... I'd gotten “diced potatoes” (packaged for “hash browns”) just to have some “potato” on the plate... instead of latkes. I'd considered buying potatoes and making actual latkes but my “heart” just isn't into “holiday” this year. (This house is depressing... the only place I'm not depressed is in Yonah's room... WITH YONAH!) So I tossed those into the non-stick in some seasoned olive oil, then tossed in some “Stir Fry” veggies and a hunk of chicken. Was going to add some schmalz that I've had in the fridge for a while but when I opened the jar... THE STENCH WAS GAGGING! IT HAD GONE QUITE TERRIBLY BAD! So... no schmalz. The jar got hot-water rinsed clean and is now soaking with “Clean-up” and dish liquid. It's going to need QUITE the cleaning if I'm ever to use it again. Honestly... the STENCH! And it was so bad that even flushing the shit down the drain, the kitchen and the basin stunk long after it was gone. Live and learn... never do that again. Freeze it or dump it. What-ever. Anyway, it all got dumped onto a plate, I ate and... by 17.40 even the washing-up was done! No dessert... it was already time for Yonah's “evening routine”! These days... gone before they even get started. (It's like those “2-hour” stints at “home care” and the pee-oh... no sooner in, nothing accomplished, time to go. Fuck. “Winter”... I'll blame that.)
AND YONAH WAS SO CLOSE... SO VERY, VERY CLOSE TODAY. I COULDN'T MAKE A MOVE WITH-OUT HIM. WHEN I'D LEAVE THE ROOM AND RETURN, I'D SIT AT THE WORK TABLE AND HE'D COME RIGHT OVER TO MY SHOULDER! AND THIS EVENING, HE REALLY, OBVIOUSLY, DOESN'T WANT TO BE ALONE. IT RIPPED MY SOUL APART TO KISS HIM “GOOD NIGHT” AND PUT OUT THE LIGHT! THERE'S NO WAY TO SAFELY LEAVE THE DOOR TO HIS HOUSE OPEN OVER-NIGHT... I'D SLEEP ON HIS FUTON (honestly, it's a bit more comfy than my bed) AND LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN FOR HIM, BUT IN THE DARK, IN THAT ROOM, THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH RISK. SHELVES, THE TABLE, CHAIR, THE WALLS! AND WITH THE BIT OF LIGHT THAT COMES THROUGH AT THE WINDOWS... HE MIGHT HEAD FOR THOSE IN THE DARK AND... NO... I JUST WON'T TAKE THE CHANCE. I WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST HIM TO COME TO THE FUTON AND “SLEEP” SOME-WHERE CLOSE TO ME, BUT IF I TURN, OR COUGH OR SNEEZE DURING THE NIGHT... NO, I CAN'T. BUT IT STILL RIPS MY SOUL APART TO LEAVE HIM ALONE. I NEED TO SEE ABOUT ADOPTING... MAYBE THERE *IS* SOMEBODY OUT THERE WITH A MOURNING DOVE... AND I REALLY COULD WORK YONAH'S “OLD PLACE” INTO IT. HE'S JUST GOTTEN SO VERY CLOSE LATELY AND I WONDER WHY. ALTHOUGH, TO AN EXTENT, I SUPPOSE THAT HE AND I ARE OUR “FLOCK” NOW... INDEED, HE'S MY ONLY “REAL” COMPANION AND THE ONLY WHOSE COMPANY I DON'T DESPISE. MY LITTLE GUY, MY HEART, SOUL AND ALL BEING.
But for now, for tonight, tuck-in is done... we'll be back together for another day tomorrow... and I have catching-up to be done (again... which is something I need to “address”... I need to stop leaving so much “behind” or “for tomorrow”!), so we'll have the day together, to be sure. - I'm feeling rather “off”, “odd”, tired, just generally “not well” but nothing horrific. Fatigue, mostly... just “fatigue”, and maybe some sort of “depression”... from this house. - Didn't have dessert after meal so I'll have it now... with night pills... a QI... and we'll see about a shower. I bloody-well NEED one but it's a matter of energy to stand in that fucking box! How I used to LUV showering! (Just another aspect of this shit-box that pulls at the mood.) We shall see. - I DID light the chanukiah tonight though. Didn't open the curtains, which almost defeats the whole ordeal. It's supposed to be visible out the window but... Never mind. Just never mind. I'm doing it for “me”... not “them”. “Them” can go scratch. maybe tomorrow I'll get the lights taken down and packed away again. And there are some “decorations” in a tub under Yonah's futon that can “go”. I don't see me making any use of them... any more. - Yonah's MP3 player is due to arrive tomorrow! I've got WORK to do... putting his bird-songs on, learning how to operate it... AND FINDING MORE BIRD-SONGS FOR HIM... WE HAVE WORK TOMORROW... TOGETHER! - 19.46 night pills taken already... a bit of QI and away... we'll see... about the shower. I didn't snooze at all today! Hmmm.... and I'm TIRED... but I really DO “need”... NEED a shower! We'll see. - 22.09 Fucked it again! More of that “time run amok”! I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHERE IT GOES AND HOW IT GETS GONE AS QUICKLY AS IT DOES, but I'm just going to brush my teeth and go to bed. We'll hope for the shower tomorrow. (I wonder, sometimes, if I'm not giving an odour... when I'm out of the house. Sometimes I think I smell me and me smells like “rotting Homeless”... I didn't even smell this bad when I WAS Homeless! Fuck me very much you're welcome.) Oh... and the bloody furnace is running! It's NOT “THAT” cold in here and I WANT THIS OIL TO LAST THROUGH... AND I MEAN “THROUGH” DECEMBER! (But it'll be a hoot... going for an “Emergency” in January and “Cindy H.” DID say that the more we residents request the more the county gets... and I've nothing against the county... just this shit-circus of Liztoon... Sad, really. I like New Russia... it's the people... as usual.) - WRAP IT PACK IT SHIP IT SHOVE IT... THIS DAY IS DONE!

Mon.29.Nov: (18.33 FUCKING POST OFFICE FUCKED THE DELIVERY OF YONAH'S MP3 PLAYER... THE FUCKING FED EX DRIVER TRIED TO DELIVER TO THE FUCKING POST OFFICE AND NOW WE HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW !!! BUT... FED EX CUSTOMER SUPPORT WAS VERY KIND AND HELPFUL SO THERE'S A BIT OF A RELIEF !!! BUT NOT FUCKING MUCH !!! YONAH AND I *HAVE* TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS SHIT-BOX !!!) 6.32 I got out of bed with the “6.00” alarm (at about 5.45), am dressed, in from smoke-on-the-porch, the furnace has run briefly, there's a bit of snow on the front stoop but it's really not cold out there so I imagine it'll melt in due course, I'm a bit “heavy-chested” this morning, thinking “It'll get progressively worse, because it never gets progressively better”, but... there's a day ahead, and I've got yesterday to work on, with details to add to Yonah's site and SONG-BIRDS to record and put on Yonah's new MP3 PLAYER! - And this lap-top is connected to the internet and I don't know why! Oh well. Let's see what we make of this day. Shall we? - Oh... -8/-10 with a high of -2. Charming. (I need to get the bed linens in a wash, and there are some under-things that have been “waiting” for over a week as well. Tsk! It's about to be a hectic December... alas. - OH! -16 on Saturday night! Here we GO... closer to the -20! Well? “December” it is then. - 7.24 MORNING CALL!!! WOOOHOOOOOOO! YEAH! A NEW DAY BEGINS AND MY PRECIOUS HEART AND SOUL IS UP AND ABOUT! OFF WE GO TO FACE WHAT-EVER THIS OLD WORLD SLINGS! TOGETHER, WE CAN FACE IT ALL! “TOGETHER”!!! - 14.14 I have been literally TRYING to find SOMETHING TO DO TO BATTLE TODAY'S FATIGUE !!! IT'S REALLY TERRIBLE TODAY AND I DON'T KNOW WHY! I'm not feeling “ill”... I'm not “feeling off”... I've been a bit “heavy-chested” but breathing is fine... I'm just TIRED... and not really “tired”... just FATIGUED! And I WANT to Hoover Yonah's room. I've re-arranged his shelves, in prep for the new food jar (due, they claim, on Wednesday) and that took SO much “energy” out of me that I had to have a lie-down. - AND YONAH? HE'S BEEN SO ATTENTIVE AND CLOSE AGAIN, TODAY! When he's not in the front corner of his house... and THAT disturbs me. BUT I TOOK TWO LIE-DOWNS TODAY AND BOTH TIMES HE CAME TO THE FUTON, HOPPED UP MY LEG AND TO THE PILLOW, AND COO'ED! I wonder if he doesn't “sense” my fatigue. Anyway... HE'S MY LIFE AND I HAVE TO GET THROUGH WHAT-EVER THIS IS. - Maybe it has something to do with this nonsense about the porch, the flags, the “I'm NOT decorating”... No holidays this year, aside from the chanukiah, of course. I don't know... I just don't know... - And now I have to finish yesterday's Journal entry for me. I've done Yonah's from yesterday... - Oh... I did get a couple more “bird-songs” off the internet. Oddly, there was one that was 4 hours on the “Tube” but it only got 6 minutes! AND... THIS LAP-TOP IS FUCKING ABOUT! I HAD TO TURN IT OFF AND BACK ON AGAIN! WHAT THE FUCK? NOT NOW! I HAVE “MUSIC” TO GET FOR YONAH! (Never mind... daily Journals and the likes. But it would figure... Wouldn't it just, though?) - 14.56 DONE! CAUGHT UP WITH JOURNALS! Time to HOOVER and... I wonder where Yonah's MP3 player is... Hmmm... - I'm just relieved to be caught-up (kind of, because there's more to add to Yonah's for today) or what-ever... - 18.35 “Meal” (noodles, veggies, chicken) done and washing-up too. Yonah's windows are closed, NatSpec light on. AND IT WAS ANOTHER “COZY COMPANIONSHIP” DAY WITH HIM !!! OH M'LOARD, YES IT WAS !!! - 20.59 The day is DONE! And Yonah's Journal is current... the damned furnace is running but for a short while. I'm just in a quite sour-dour mind-set... because of the fuck-up with Yonah's MP3 player... but... he's all tucked-in and I've put his page on the server. I took night pills at 20.27 so I'm late... and I'm going to have my little nightly nosh, see if I can't find some QI (because the episodes on Dailymotion seem to have run out in the middle of Nr.19!) and if not... something else. AND I'M GOING TO SHOWER TONIGHT! - I thought I might go to the skip tomorrow but I MUST be here (probably on the bloody porch!) for the delivery tomorrow so I'm not planning on leaving before THAT arrives! So? It'll be a morning of looking for more recordings to put onto Yonah's new player (which BETTER FUCKING WORK RIGHT AWAY AND FOR A LONG WHILE TO COME!) - (Tue.30.Nov: 20.21 continuing catch-up)... I GOT THE NEW INFO WORKED INTO A NEW “HOME” PAGE ON YONAH'S SITE TODAY! More “stats” on actual numbers of mourning doves murdered on average, per year AND a notation, on the “front page” noting that they ARE “protected” under federal law. I've wanted to get that “front and centre” for a while now and I feel better that it's there. Now, will it make any difference to any-one? Well, short of me going door-to-door and throat-punching it into them... the best I can do it publish it, make it known. (As I told Yonah this evening when I'd finished: “You're the spokes-birdie for ALL of your flocks!” And indeed... yes he is! Quite the little “celeb”... my Little Guy.) And the page looks and reads very nice, indeed. So I'm satisfied with it all. Now, it's just a matter of getting to “up-date” some of the other pages of information... I have a LOT to contribute now... and not just from “reading” but EXPERIENCE! SO THERE! - This evening, I'm feeling a bit “low” where Yonah is concerned. I do my best to keep him company, but my sitting at that table, well... I really WOULD like him to have the company of another dove. So I went looking to see if I could find any mourning doves needing adoption. Sadly... none. There are a depressing number of birds of all sorts “up for re-housing”... none locally though. But there are web-sites and such out there that deal with the very thing. Maybe, one of these days, I'll post a “Wanted” on one of them. The toughest part I see is that the closest anybody else is is in New Hampshire! One guy is looking for a home for a ring-neck, which would be nice, and is willing to travel to meet... but he's in “central NH”... I don't know that the truck would tolerate the trip, never mind, affording the gas and such. But my MAIN concern is transporting the poor little dove all that distance! Bad enough I had to subject Yonah to that horrid trip to Lake Placid! And... the other dove is a “male”... I don't know that Yonah would “happily share” with another guy. So? So... I wait. - Also looked at flats... there are two in Champlain. The flats look quite nice, 800$ of course, but it's the buildings that they're in... like this one... irresponsible owners who let their “rental property” turn to shit. So? I keep looking. Deb said of the truck “It's out there... you'll find it.” I hold that thought... and hope. - The Chanukiah is lit anyway. The curtains are closed so it isn't visible to the out-side world but the fact is: I don't give a shit about “them”. I'm keeping the tradition, Yonah is IN HERE... and this is our “world”... and that's all that matters... no matter the matter what-ever else! (Almost a bit sad, but that's the way it is.) - There's another COLD night ahead too. But Yonah's room will be kept warm and the blankets on the bed keep me warm enough... that's that. - 22.28 this is going to be a quick shower now! Honestly, I'm beginning to worry about how time just slips by so bloody quickly and I don't know WHERE IT GOES or HOW THE HELL IT PASSED! BUT.... I'M GOING TO SHOWER WHETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT (and I don't because I HATE cramming into that little shit-box!) because, quite honestly, I can't afford not to shower another night! - Oh... and that “scaly dry” shit on my head? “CradleCap”... there's no “cure” once it comes, but it can be treated with dandruff shampoo, hydrocortisone (and I have some of that... because of the tea tree oil... which, by the way, is another TREATMENT for it) and an antifungal (which I have but the tube says it's worthless on the scalp... oh well... AND it's said that “nerves and anxieties” can make it appear and flare! Imagine THAT shit! This shit-box is become a “health hazard”. Anyway... trip to the druggist... Selsun Blue or something of the sort. Oh... And... the house is cold... -14 tonight... FUCK! - 23.21 showered, scrubbed, done and now... off to bed and HOPE for some damned SLEEP! (And I thought I'd make it to bed at a “civil” hour tonight... what an idiot! See? I don't know how, when, where the time goes... but IT'S GOING TO QUICKLY!)

Tue.30.Nov: 16.48 FUCK FUCK FUCK !!! ANOTHER MONTH AND ANOTHER FUCKING YEAR GONE! JEEZUS KRISTE! WHERE! HOW! WHEN! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? And to think: it wasn't all that long ago (1 year and 2 months, actually) when ALL I wanted was for it ALL to be over, in the past, history faded into nothing. BUT THEN CAME... ***** YONAH ***** !!! and NOW ALL my seconds pass TOO FUCKING BLOODY QUICKLY! But, Yonah and I are here for as long as HE'S here and then... But for now... SLOW IT DOWN! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL, SLOW IT DOWN! PLEASE!!! I WANT TIME WITH MY BEST COMPANION EVER IN LIFE! (Unless there's a guarantee that we WILL “be together”... in a BETTER place! In which case, we need to go TOGETHER!)
Well! There's a whole day here to catch-up with and a LOT of yesterday as well. And “meal” of left-over broccoli, with a hunk of chicken, shredded, and the left-overs of the cheeses is on the hob. And I'm feeling a touch on the nauseated side of things. Nothing to eat all day. No nap. No snooze. I was SO BUSY ALL DAY! Most of it was “cleaning” the files for Yonah's MP3 player... WHICH ARRIVED AT NOON!!! AT LAST! IT DID! And the box was simply “left”, on the front porch, not next to the house, just as if it had been “dropped and left”! But I was diligent at looking for it and there it was! And I got RIGHT to it, reading the “manual”, which tells nothing, really. But, I figured it out, put ALL of Yonah's “bird-songs” on it, figured how to adjust the volume, hooked it into his speaker and it's been playing ever since! Will it last? No telling. It's incredibly light, and incredibly small. In fact, it fits on that little “self-thing” I made for the speaker and it's invisible! The proof will be in the length of time it lasts. But for now... YONAH HAS HIS OWN MP3 PLAYER!! ALL HIS! JUST HIS! Ain't NUTHIN' too goood or even good enough for my LITTLE GUY! - There... that said... I can get to this morning... and a truly sickening “night-mare” (I won't even call it a “dream” because it's STILL disturbing. - (But first... 16.58... “meal”... shit!) -
(On Wed.01.Dec: 7.17) As is usual in my dreams, the time of day was ambiguous, that “early morning/early evening darkness”. I was in a park of some sort, by a lake or bend in a muddy river. Not a “pretty” or “bucolic” park, just one of those land areas in a town that serves no “purpose” so it was turned into a “park”. Sparse trees and that sort of thing. And I was walking along toward the lake (I'll call it that), for no particular reason. Yonah was on my shoulder, moving, as he does, round the back of my neck, as I walked along. No cause for concern because, apparently, we'd done this walk before so, I was quite happy as we went along. - We came to the lake and there was a guy sitting there, on the cement wall, just quietly. - The wall was of “poured concrete”, narrowish at the top, and it “curved” down into the water, some, maybe 18-20 feet below. The curve was gradual enough to walk down with some ease, and the “wall” just ended at the water, which, there, was quite still, though muddy and murky. - I had to traverse the narrow part to get to the other end of the wall and so, I started to, carefully. BUT... as I took the first steps, Yonah wasn't a dove... he wasn't Yonah... he was a grey cat, on my shoulder and almost just as I'd put my foot on the narrow “ledge”, the cat fell off my shoulder and rolled, severely, down the curved wall and into the lake! He made quite an audible “thud” as he struck the wall and several more as he rolled! BUT... THE VERY MOMENT HE WENT INTO THE WATER... HE'D BECOME JOHN! BROTHER! AND AS I WATCHED THE WATER, I SAW THE BUBBLING RISE TO THE SURFACE! The guy sitting there saw it too and just calmly said to me “You know what that means....” and I DID... JOHN WAS DROWNING! I had to figure a way to get into that deep water to rescue him but because of the curvature of the wall it was going to be EXTREMELY difficult and the depth of the water... there was no place to stand to get him! But I went down to the edge, unable to see into the water and I reached in... JOHN'S HAND WAS GRASPING THE “EDGE” OF THE WALL !!! HE WAS THERE... AND ALIVE... I COULDN'T SEE HIM THOUGH! AND AS I TOUCHED THE GRASPING HAND I REALISED THAT, THERE WAS AN INCREDIBLY STRONG “CURRENT” OR “VORTEX” OF SOME KIND, PULLING HIM UNDER THE WALL !!! HE WAS HOLDING, WITH ONE HAND, TO THE WALL TO KEEP FROM BEING SUCKED UNDER THE PARK, WHICH WAS WHERE THE WATER WAS GOING! I COULDN'T THINK OF HOW TO SAVE HIM! GRABBING HIS ARM WOULD DO ME NO GOOD BECAUSE HIS BODY WAS, MOST LIKELY, HORIZONTAL, UNDER THE CEMENT WALL! I HAVE NO LEVERAGE! AND HE COULDN'T PULL HIMSELF OUT, AGAINST THE FORCE OF THE RUSHING WATER UNDER THERE! AND AS I TRIED TO THINK OF HOW TO SAVE HIM, TO PULL HIM OUT AND UP, I REALISED THAT, IN THE DISTANCE, JUST BEYOND THE EDGE OF THAT “PARK”, THERE WAS A MASSIVE “GENERATING PLANT” OF SOME KIND... A “POWER PLANT” THAT WAS, NO DOUBT, PULLING THE WATER FROM THE LAKE TO RUN TURBINES OR TO COOL THE PLANT'S MACHINERY... JOHN WOULD BE PULLED ALONG SOME TUNNEL, IN THE RUSHING WATER, AND INTO THAT PLANT! HE'D BE DROWNED BY THE TIME HIS BODY GOT THERE BUT THEN, HE'D BE GROUND IN WHAT-EVER MACHINERY THERE WAS IN THERE! AND I HAD TO FIGURE A WAY TO GET HIM OUT FROM UNDER THAT CEMENT WALL! AND IT SEEMED IMPOSSIBLE! NO MATTER WHAT I THOUGHT OF, THERE WAS JUST NO WAY OF PULLING HIM OUT WITH-OUT GETTING INTO THE WATER MY SELF BUT THAT WAS RIDICULOUS BECAUSE IF I WERE TO GET IN, I TOO, WOULD SIMPLY BE PULLED UNDER! I WAS GETTING ABSOLUTELY SICK THINKING OF WHERE HIS BODY WOULD GO, THE DROWNING ON THE WAY, AND THAT HE COULDN'T HOLD ON MUCH LONGER, AND ALL THE WHILE, THIS WAS HAPPENING, I WAS TRYING TO HOLD HIS WRIST, HOPING IT WOULD ENCOURAGE HIM TO TRY PULLING HIMSELF FORWARD AND UP, BECAUSE HE'D KNOW THAT SOMEBODY WAS HERE AND WE KNEW OF HIS SITUATION! AND AS I GREW MORE HOPELESS.... I WOKE UP... THE CLOCK READ “3.00”. I laid there, very much awake, and pondering just getting up, just to avoid falling back to sleep and back into that hopeless dream... and as I laid there, I tried to figure the solution to the dream, how to get that person OUT from under that pavement/wall... I looked at the clock again... 3.32... I didn't want to go back to sleep, thought that, if I was still awake at 4.00, I'd get up and start the day... and... the next thing I knew... the 6.30 alarm... I'd fallen back to sleep... trying to figure out how to “rectify” that horrid night-mare!
Yonah was having a bit of a “sleep-in” again, this morning. My heart gets SO HEAVY when I don't hear him, early in the morning. So at about 7.30, I went in to check him and there he was... on his perch. He was awake, I could tell because I saw him move his head as I sat on the futon beside him. And then he stretched his wings! AND THEN, I was OK and FINE and HAPPY with the day! Poor Little Guy though, when I get right to opening things up in his room. Instead of a “natural” transition from night to day, the blinds and curtains get open so there's a quicker dark-to-light than it should be. (I really want, so much, to get the HELL out of this shit-box. How WONDERFUL it would be to find even a bit of a run-down cabin that needed some work... if it would mean that he and I could live according to the natural clock of a day and night. Oh... if only I could figure a way to come into enough... even only “just enough” to get a little cabin some-where... of course... a little cabin with proper day-light, I'm just too damned particular... not to mention “ME? Having such a joy?” Never mind. Yonah and I are together and THAT is ALL I truly care about... and he's healthy and appears to be satisfied with his situation so, we're doing quite well, indeed.) - I got right to the business of “morning routine” and by 8.09 it was all complete and Yonah was able to quietly get to his breakfast and, as he does of late, up and out and round about the room whilst I “closed my internet” part of a day. - HIS MP3 PLAYER ARRIVED AT NOON !!! HIIS VERY OWN COLLECTION OF “MUSIC” !!! IT'S EVER-SO TINY, AND THE INSTRUCTIONS IN THE BOOKLET WERE AS REVIEWED: PRACTICALLY USELESS. BUT I FIGURED IT ALL OUT AND WAS ALMOST DONE WITH ALL THE EDITING OF ALL THE FILES THAT WERE ON THE iPOD. (I cut out some of those LOUD cranes, and the “voices” on the mourning dove files... No need to hear “voices”... His collection is BIRDS... NOT people!) By 14.42 THE PLAYER WAS CONNECTED TO THE NEW “POWER BAR” AND THE “SOUND BAR/SPEAKER” AND PLAYING ALONG WONDERFULLY! AND THE PLAYER IS SO SMALL THAT IT FITS RIGHT UP NEXT TO THE SPEAKER ON THE SHELF! EVER-SO CONVENIENT AND TIDY! AND THERE'S SO MUCH MORE SPACE FOR SO MANY MORE FILES! I NEED TO GET BUSY HERE! “VARIETY”! THAT'S WHAT WE NEED... AND LOTS OF IT! I just hope this little player can stand up to days of playing! It isn't one of those $300 jobs so I'm not expecting 20 years of service, but... AT LEAST THROUGH THE ENTIRE WINTER would be nice. ANYWAY, YONAH NOW HAS HIS VERY OWN PLAYER WITH HIS VERY OWN COLLECTION! (To go with his very own house, web-site, e-mail, telephone number... Oh, and on his e-mail... I HAVE to laugh: He's getting those “scam” e-mails from all those “Dear Friends” and “My Dearest”... “I have, at my disposal, $10000000000000 US and have chosen you because I know that you are to be trusted... Please send me the particulars so I can transfer this money to you.” People... what a waste of Creation. But it is almost amusing... not.) - And so... on with the day! I've got catch-up to get to on Journals and looking for more “music” for Yonah, and... what-ever is to come along on this grey and other-wise dreary sort of day. BUT we're together, Yonah and I, and that's really all that matters at all, at all. - 20.15 Yonah is tucked-in... his journal is complete for the day and now the month. I still have yesterday and today to catch-up on for this Journal but I'm fading... so tired. But most of today, as other days... is all about Yonah, really. - I'm beginning to feel a bit “down” though... as the days, weeks and months pass, I can't help but think and wonder... time with Yonah. How much do we have? As I noted on his page, the average life-span in the out-of-doors for a mourning dove is a mere 18 months... Yonah and I are together just over 13 now and heading into 14. It's claimed that, in good circumstances, they'll life 5 years and have been known to live for 20... but I wonder. Yes, Yonah gets the best food, clean environment, fresh water and exercise, be it flying about his room or playing. But I can't help but wonder... How long do WE have together? And this house... no longer a “home”, and the thought of finding another... How will Yonah take to it? Anyway... the chanukiah is burning in the living-room behind the closed curtains. The rest of the world can go to Hell... In this house, the tradition lives... along with the residents here-in. I might not be looking directly at the candle-light but it's there... it's here, in this house... and in this house is a little feathered bundle of my SOUL... and he's warm and safe and that's all that matters... “holiday” or not. - 20.46 Half an hour passed? WHAT? Well... better than another 12 hours! - I managed to get yesterday's entry done. So there's that. Took my night pills LATE... AGAIN... 20 minutes ago. - And I'm out of “QI” to watch so I need to find something else. There doesn't seem to be any episodes after season 19... I wonder... Last night I watched a re-re-re-re- of “Would I Lie To You”.... just for brainlessness. So, I have to find something and I still have today to finish up... AND TOMORROW IS FUCKING DECEMBER ALREADY! DAMNIT! - Oh well... Yonah's Journal is current... the rest? It the rest. And it gives me something to do... in Yonah's room... tomorrow! WITH HIM! SO THERE! - OH... lightly “floconing” out there tonight... but the house is keeping a bit of “warmth”. I wonder... the Chanukiah? 4 candles! What-ever. - 23.02 AGAIN! So much for “early to bed”. Oh well... it'll be a “short” night. But... that's OK... I suppose. Snoozes during the day tomorrow. - And I see a “-12°” for the TEMPERATURE on Friday night! GOODNESS! Well, November is gone and December is here so... Hopefully December won't rush January and... FEBRUARY! (I'll have to check the “oil situation” tomorrow... more breath-holding.