Mon.04.Oct: 9.25 WE almost rather slept-in again, this morning. As memory serves... it was about 7.00 when I finally got up and out of the bed, and Yonah was, so it seemed, awake, so... “morning routine” got rolling right away and... I've done the on-line part of the morning and put in for a “call” from the CU about a “Christmas Loan”... (as Margot used to say “You ask, you get a 50/50 'yes/no'... You don't ask, you get a 100% 'NO'.) I've done a bit of “calc'ing” and I COULD pull about 1100, and bring the current back up to another 1500. And I CAN pull ANOTHER 70/mo, paying-off the current and rolling with a “new”. But, we shall see what the “nice folks down to the cu” have to say about it. Meanwhile, I'll just have to figure on walking again, this Winter. Well, at least it might be beneficial to the lungs? What-ever. It isn't as if I've never done such a thing. - And this month's loan payment has been made this morning. So that's a bit of a plus... although, probably not. Surely, it means nothing. - And I had a little “chat” with the “new gal” (Robin) and the PO. She's a “PTF” who started in December '20. “Corina” changed from PMR to PSE and is now in Moriah Ctr. And yes, they're looking for a PMR to cover this office. Yeah, well... good luck with that. - Meanwhile, 'tis another grey day, the forecast is still holding the “20s” to come, but rain, rain, rain... - Pine needles are in Yonah's house to see what his response/reaction will be. and I have Journals to catch-up with, and photos to edit, and ... I'm down to 3 smokes in the house and need to decide what to do about that. Driving into town is... well... I don't see why I shouldn't... other than I see why I shouldn't spend the money. So, as time goes by... we'll see how that turns out. - And there's something else I need to “attend” but I can't recall what that was... surely, that'll come to mind... at the end of the day. - So for now... On with what-ever comes along until... HEY! AT LEAST YONAH'S FEATHERS ARE COMING BACK AND I GOT A SMOOCH THIS MORNING! - OH... LAST NIGHT... MUST TO NOTE... ONE LOO TRIP... JUST THE LOO... NO “CONTRACTIONS” AND NO “BELT”! IMAGINE THAT! - *** BUT I SEEM TO RECALL A FRAGMENT OF A DREAM THAT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH ME WORKING AT A HOSPICE. THE SEVERAL-SECONDS THAT I CAN RECALL THIS MORNING, WHICH IS ONLY THAT I WAS WORKING AT A HOSPICE SIMILAR TO CALVARY, WAS PLEASANT-ENOUGH... THOUGH, OF COURSE, THERE WAS SOME SORT OF “CONFLICT” ABOUT SOMETHING. OTHER-WISE... HMMMM... DREAMING OF WORKING AT HOSPICE. I WONDER... -12.29 Skipping lunch but not the “pills”... having had QUITE THE MORNING... IN THE FIRST PLACE... GOT A LETTRE FROM INSURANCE THAT THE POLICY WAS “CANCELLED”!!! BUT SPOKE WITH A LOVELY GAL (IN BUFFALO!) WHO SAYS THAT THE POLICY IS PERFECTLY FINE! (ALTHOUGH, IN ANOTHER ENVELOPE, I GOT “NEW ID CARDS” THAT COVER INTO 2022 WHICH ARE “VOID” BECAUSE THEY'RE THE “CHANGED” - SHANNON - POLICY AND NOT “VALID” FOR THE CURRENT COVERAGE...) SO THAT WAS SETTLED... *THEN* I NOW HAVE A BILL FOR THE X-RAY ON THE 5TH SEPT. FOR 37$ FROM SOME VIRTUAL RADIOLOGISTS COMPANY THAT JUST DOESN'T SETTLE RIGHT IN MY GUT AND LOOKING IT UP, THEY HAVE A LIST OF COMPLAINTS ON THE “BBB” SITE! SO... YEAH, I'LL PAY (THOUGH IT PUTS ME AT A “BUDGET BALANCE” OF ABOUT 8$ TO MY NAME... DEDUCTING 300$ FOR RICHIE, THOUGH I'VE PUT IN A REQ ON-LINE TO HAVE THE CU CALL ME ABOUT A “CHRISTMAS LOAN” WHICH PROBABLY WON'T COME THROUGH UNTIL TOMORROW BUT THAT'S FINE TOO... ANYWAY... “MONEY ORDERS”... FOR THIS NEW BILL AND THE “MYSTERY 40$” FROM THE PREVIOUS AND... WELL... -
***** MEANWHILE ***** ***** ***** ***** 12.33 YONAH'S IN THE POOL !!! **** ***** *****
THAT ALWAYS PUTS ME IN A BETTER FRAME OF MIND!
HE'S BEEN ALMOST BACK TO NORMAL TODAY... AS WE SIT UNDER HIS “NATURAL SPECTRUM” LIGHT AND HIS TAIL IS BACK TO “BLACK/BROWN”!
It “feels” like a “strange” sort of day today. Not “settled” but not “un-settled”. I feel as though there something “not right” about it all... but there's nothing, other than the brakes on the truck. I just can't pin-point it. -
13.35 AT 12.47 TN CALLED AND... THEY'RE ACTUALLY CONSIDERING A NEW LOAN! FOR THE TRUCK! Me? I'm not looking forward to the amount to cover ALL the costs of repairs, but I'm BLOWN AWAY... AND, I'm actually 69 points HIGHER than the “score” I've been seeing all along! I don't know HOW... but I got if from them directly! (Oh, and just as a matter of... I used Yonah's phone number for them to call back on... and it rang, obviously.) Payments will increase, but IF this goes through, I'll have no payments until January 31st! Yes, they're higher, but it's because it's a “12-month” term. BUT I CAN STILL HAUL IT! There's no “guarantee”, but... my stomach is a ROCK! - MEANWHILE... YONAH IS IN MUCH BETTER SPIRITS TODAY... AND THAT ALWAYS SUPERSEDES ALL ELSE! - 21.15 Running LATE again... but I've taken the 20.00 pills at abut 20.00 so now it's just a matter of getting me together to get to “futon” for the night. - There's been no word from TN and a check of accounts shows the same so... I'm really not planning on getting the new loan... so I'm planning on not getting the truck fixed until next month... and even then... probably not because insurance is due then and I won't have the money. - And I broke down and drove to FamDoll for 4 packs of smokes... to carry me through a couple of weeks. “Perry's” isn't on sale at market so there's no rush for that... and I baked 2 chicken breasts this evening so there's 3 more meals there. A new bag of “Basmati” rice, so there's that, and mushroom soup... 2 dozen eggs, 2 loaves of bread, PLENTY of butter and sugar and such... There really is no “need” to “go” any-where for a while so... it's really a matter of keeping gas in the truck and keeping it running. I've been through MUCH worse. (At least the truck RUNS... and I CAN go local if need be.) - Other-wise... it was a day with Yonah all through. I'm still “editing” photos. Added more to his site and got his Journal to-date. - Tonight's “low”... 10°, tomorrow's “high”... 15 and... more rain! Wed-Sun, sun (we'll see). 20 on Friday and next Monday (we'll see). And “lows” in the low teens through-out. So? Not bad. I'd like to mow/mulch the yard at some point (I'd like to... just for my own comfort). And I NEED to get more pine needles and meadow-grasses for Yonah... more river water for the orange tree and Yonah's pines. But, for now... all is fine as it is... - Off to post this to the server, a bit of QI and to FUTON! Tomorrow will attend to itself... and I have a bill or two to pay (medical bull-shit). I'm going to get to those since fixing the truck is OUT. (I'm wondering if I didn't slip/break a calipre. I'll have to check tomorrow... What-ever...) - 22.55 THIS IS ENTIRELY, UNACCEPTABLY TOO LATE! I hesitate to go into Yonah's room at this hour, because I don't want to disturb him. But, the truth is, his room is darker and I HAVE gotten to like sleeping on his futon. Oh... what a day. What a night.

Tue.05.Oct: 7.06 Another one of “those” nights, with the contractions in the left foot and up the calf, and a loo-toddle. And when I woke, at about 6.15, the covers were off, a pillow on the floor, and another contraction on the left foot. I gave-up trying to get rid of the contraction, went to the loo, looked at the clock and thought “Fine.” And so now, I'm dressed, with coffee, the flag is out, the birds' seed is in a container but there's much on the feeder so I'm considering whether or not... Yonah is still quite quiet this morning so I'm not disturbing him for a while yet. And my general mood is rather “sour”... primarily because of the street-light, which continues to throw me off, but because I'm just about to “toss” ANY notions of getting the truck repaired. Window blinds? Brakes? A terse e-mail to the shit-town folks about the street-light? And my stomach's a touch “off”. Hacking, as usual, with congestion. And... I'm weary, tired, fatigued. I HOPE I didn't disturb Yonah all through the night, last night. It must have been quite restless. Oh well... Just... oh well. - So I'm setting my sight (poor as it is these days) on photo edits, and, if weather permits, getting out to get pine needles and grasses for Yonah. As long as I do for Yonah, the World is well. - Other than that... it's Tuesday, and that means nothing, an it's the 5th of the month, and that means nothing... Another day... another day... another. Let's see what it brings... and what it takes. Shall we? Oh, let's DO shall. - 13.06 Well... the account is dropping close to the 200 mark... BUT the most recent “radiology” bill is covered, as is that shit from last year that pulls my “credit record” down with the CU. Yep... TWO money orders today (and stamps are up to 58¢!) Honestly, it just makes one NEED to put quite a “hurting” on somebody! Will it do me ANY “good” at all? Oh HELL NO! Not in this day and age. But... I've done it. It's done. I move along. - Meanwhile, Yonah's been on the shelf most of this morning... It's just good to see him “out and about”. - And I'm tired... SNOOZE! - 14.20 I did manage to get a 30-minute in, but it seemed more like a 3-minute. I'm just so tired these days. Of course, doing that “bill-paying”, and the “brakes” situation are tiring, just thinking about them. And it's “odd” now... For all that time, I've been just pondering the “finality” of everything... in a matter of months or short years. And with this “news” and diagnosis... and the general health report, that's all dashed. - One thing though... aside from or along with this fatigue, I still have that “heaviness” in the chest and from time-to-time, a bit of a “ping” in the upper-right “corner” of the chest. Were there anything “untoward” in there, it would have shown on this recent CT and I'm SURE the nice MD would have mentioned it. Could it be just plain “anxiety”? Could it be that it's taking hold now that my “existence” has calmed... no more running about The City, subways, busses, and such? No more rushing about to get out of the house to be “invisible”, away, to “do, do, DO”! Something. Anything. Just for the sake of not being “sedentary”? Is THIS what “old” is all about, in general? Last night I thought: “Old” folks talk about “aches and pains” but nobody's ever told me just what it's REALLY all about. And the only “references” I have, truly, are those few, short years of Oma... but she had the cancer. And mother? Well... she was already gone when I was 33. I wonder... Is this REALLY what it's all about? If that's all there is... let's break out the booze... and have a ball... if that's all... there is. - Anyway... The envelopes are on the kitchen table and I'll drop them either tonight or tomorrow. And they'll be on their way. And we'll see what comes next. - Oh... recent check: not a blip about the loan application. I'm just giving that thought up... I won't be getting the truck repaired this month... I'll just keep the “travel” down to absolute minimum (and expenses, though I'm tempted to order blinds for Yonah's room with what's left in the account) as well. - FUCK! And on with the day. - 20.51 I'VE CODED A PAGE FOR AN *** ANNIVERSARY VIDEO *** FOR YONAH! It took quite some doing, because I couldn't get the video to fit on a page for his site, and then it wouldn't align in the “table cell”! And I looked for information on how to fix that and, of course... bull-shit, bull-shit and more bull-shit! BUT... resourceful... I manged to figure it out! Not bad at all, for somebody's who's “not all up to snuff” in the “web-building” industry these days! SO it's probably “rustic” coding... IT WORKS! And now, all I need do is create the proper video. (The one on there now is only up to today... ) and, next Wednesday... LAUNCH IT! (I have a temporary link for the current version “http://yonahtaube.com/!!%20VIDEO-WORK%202.html” because I've put it on the server for safe-keeping... thankfully.) - So it's been quite the day... Bills paid. Yonah's video created and coded and put on the server! - AND... I TOOK HIS FUTON APART TODAY TO HOOVER ALL BEHIND IT. There's still that “odour” in the house and I can't figure where it's coming from, other than something in the wall. But... at least Yonah's room is CLEAN! - And sadly, when I went to shake the linens on the back gallery, got caught with “that one” and we “friendly chatted” (I'm trying to be “kind”) which meant I didn't have meal until after 18.00. But... BUT... BY 19.30, THE WASHING-UP WAS DONE, DISHES UP AND YONAH'S EVENING ROUTINE WAS DONE! - OH... OH OH OH OH !!! HE'S REALLY MAKING QUITE THE AMAZING COME-BACK! TODAY, HE WAS ON HIS ROOF, ON THE SHELVES, ON THE WORK TABLE, AND WE SMOOCHED, AND CUDDLED AND PLAYED !!! AND HE'S NOT RUNNING AWAY FROM ME! AND HIS “PLAY” IS REALLY “PLAY” AGAIN AND NOT “AGITATED”, AS IT'S BEEN THESE FEW WEEKS! IT'S AMAZING! IT'S REMARKABLE! IT'S JOYFUL! I'M ELATED! And his futon is made and it's SO damned late again. But HIS Journal is to-date... and that's my major concern. - I'm going to try for a quick shower tonight and HOPE FOR A NIGHT OF RESTFUL, PEACEFUL SLEEP! DAMNIT! NO DISTURBING YONAH AGAIN TONIGHT! I NEED THE SLEEP AND SO TOO, DOES HE! And tomorrow? Well... tomorrow will take care of itself. I see SUN and 19° in the forecast... We'll have a busy day... BUT... other than fining “nesting” for Yonah, and, if the river allows, more water... WE HAVE THE DAY TO US! And the rest of the world can go... where-ever it will! - Time for a quick QI... I didn't even have dessert tonight! - 22.22 No matter how I try, no matter how I manage to get a day's activities complete... LATE... again!

Wed.06.Oct: 10.31 ANOTHER NIGHT OF PILLOWS FALLING OFF THE FUTON AND... TRAUMA! I'M REALLY ANNOYED WITH THE WAY PILLOWS FALL OFF THAT THING! I'd gone right to futon after “signing-off” on the computer, and managed to get comfortable and drift to sleep rather well-enough. BUT, of course, came the “contractions” of the left foot... waking me, and I needed to get to the loo, so up I got. Yonah gave a few quiet “hoo's” and I told him I was just going to the loo. When I got to the loo, I looked at the clock: 0.33! AGAIN WITH THE FUCKING “2-HOURS”! ANYWAY, as I was “attending”, I heard FRANTIC FLUTTERING !!! SOMETHING SCARED YONAH! So I rushed in to... PILLOWS ON THE FLOOR! THEY WEREN'T ON THE FLOOR WHEN I'D LEFT! AND YONAH, “PINNED” AGAINST THE FRONT OF HIS HOUSE, BESIDE HIS DOOR! THE FUCKING PILLOWS FRIGHTENED HIM AGAIN! I NEED TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT! BUT... right away, I opened the door and tried to console Yonah. He REALLY HAD BEEN FRIGHTENED! I wanted to give him more light, but not “bright” (no “Nat.Spec.” bulb at that hour... bad enough I'm trying to get rid of the bloody street-light!), so I put the table lamp in the kitchen on to shed that light into the room... and when I got back to Yonah, I managed to get him on my arm and we sat on the futon for a few moments, he, on my arm and shoulder. I was able to “stroke” him with the side of my face as I talked, and he appeared to calm a bit... he even appeared to be comforted by my closeness and voice! That helped ME a bit but all I could think of is “heart attack”! Yonah... not me. After a brief while, I tried to get him to go back into his house and he was SO HESITANT AND RELUCTANT! IF there was ANY way I could figure how to keep him close to me during the night... but that's pretty much impossible. After a few moments of holding my arm beside his perch, he did hop onto it, but then went to the little “yellow” mirror... that “reflection” seems to give him some kind of “comfort” and then, as he's done before, he went to the round mirror... and that's where he “settled” for the night. Meanwhile, I left the kitchen light on. It was dim enough yet bright enough to provide just enough light for Yonah to be able to see the room. I closed his door (which is something I don't “like” doing, but, in these events where something startles Yonah, better he be in his house than flying, blindly, about the rest of this shit-box, especially in the dark!), and as I laid on the futon beside him, I talked ... until I drifted back to sleep. WHAT A FUCK! AND THIS MORNING, I LOOKED AT THE LARGE FEATHERS THAT HE'D DROPPED IN HIS THRASHING ABOUT AND TWO OF THEM... BLOOD AT THE BASE WHERE THEY'D “BROKEN-OFF”!!! JUST AS THINGS ARE GETTING BETTER WITH THE MOULTING... BLOOD-FEATHERS! Needless to say, my “mood” isn't “pleasant” today. - THEN... the DREAM I woke from this morning...
It takes place in a “library”... and “older, VERY public library, similar to... well... Norwood, I'd say. Books, tables, that “dull fluorescent” lighting, stark. And there were MANY people there, and the tables were set quite close. I'm not sure what I was doing there but there I was when I noticed Nancy (New Russia K.) come in! I HAD to leave immediately because I wanted to avoid her no matter what! But at a table, some distance away, there was a gal I recognised some-how. I wasn't “acquainted” with her but for some unspecific reason, I didn't particularly like her. One of those “special, bratty” sorts. But I thought I'd use her a some kind of “decoy” or “distraction” of a sort. On the table, in front of her, she had a “home-made cookie”, large because it had “spread” in baking, and an almost “pale grey” colour. It was, I understood, “chocolate chip”. I didn't want it but she looked up at me and smiled in a “warm, friendly” sort of way and I went over and asked if I could have the cookie (still, I didn't want it). She looked up and said “Sure! You have to take better care of yourself, y'know.” And her tone was rather “compassionate”. So I took the cookie and started for the “front” of the room to get to the exit door. Ah... but at a table BY the door sat a guy I, for another un-known reason, had a “liking” for, “romantic”, not “sexual”, but he was known (to me and others) to be the “pompous, arrogant” sort. And he was staring at me and I understood that he knew that I didn't want or need the cookie and that I didn't even like that gal who'd given it to me. So I was self-conscious about being perceived as a “user”. Still, Nancy was still there and I HAD to get out! So I made my way to the front of the room and there, I noticed that the tables and chairs had been set in a fashion like a “maze”! And in order to not be seen by Nancy, I had to “squat” almost to the floor, as I looked for the most direct route to the door! The only clear way was an “L”-shaped route and that meant that I'd have to “crawl” past that GUY! BUT... I had no choice! And as I was plotting the route, he looked at me with a “SNEER”! I thought “No he thinks me a mooch!” but I couldn't care, I had to get out! So, almost crawling, I made my way through the maze of tables and as I was FINALLY leaving the “library room” I happened to notice the clock and the time... “7.30”... and... I woke!
I opened my eyes, looked-up and saw Yonah on the “other” perch, by the round mirror. He was awake, so I got up, opened his door and had to get to the loo... and when I got there, I looked at the clock... 7.35! OK. That clock is fast, but... the “7.30” in the dream... and actually waking at 7.30!? Well... - Morning began... morning routines of coffee and Yonah... and jotting notes at 8.11... then I'd done with all else. - BUT BUT BUT... that's not really how “today” began... OH NO! THAT WAS A SHIT-SHOW...
LAST NIGHT... AT 0.33, I HAD TO GET UP TO GO TO THE LOO, AND, OF COURSE, BECAUSE OF A CONTRACTION, LEFT FOOT! SO I DID... GOT UP AND HEADED TO THE LOO. YONAH GAVE A QUITE “HOO” AND I TOLD HIM I WAS JUST GOING TO THE LOO... BUT... WHILE I WAS IN THE LOO, I HEARD YONAH FLUTTERING... QUITE A LOT! SO I FINISHED AND RAN TO SEE WHAT HAD HAPPENED, EXPECTING A MOUSE BUT WHEN I GOT TO HIS ROOM.... THE BLOODY PILLOWS HAD FALLEN OFF THE FUTON AGAIN AND SCARED HIM! HE WAS “PRESSED” AGAINST THE FRONT OF HIS HOUSE ON HIS FLOOR! SO I WENT OUT AND PUT THE CEILING LIGHT IN THE KITCHEN OUTSIDE HIS ROOM ON SO HE COULD SEE (AND I COULD TOO). HE'D LOST SEVERAL LARGE FEATHERS FROM THE FRACAS !!!! (I HOPE THEY WERE ABOUT TO DROP ANYWAY, BUT STILL!) SO I TALKED TO HIM, OPENED THE DOOR, AND WITH A BIT OF DOING, MANAGED TO GET HIM OUT TO HOLD HIM. HE GOT ONTO MY ARM AND THE UP TO MY SHOULDER SO I SAT ON THE FUTON WHILST HE SAT ON MY ARM, THEN MY SHOULDER AND I TALKED TO HIM AND “NESTLED” MY HEAD AGAINST HIM. HE WAS SO CALM BUT I COULD HEAR HIM “hoo.... hooo....hoo” NERVOUSLY. HE'D BEEN SO FRIGHTENED BY THE PILLOWS FALLING! BUT HE APPEARED TO BE OK BEING WITH ME, HE SEEMED COMFORTED! WE SAT FOR A WHILE AND I TALKED WITH HIM, ASSURING HIM THAT ALL WAS OK AGAIN AND THAT HE DIDN'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID. HE WAS HESITANT TO GO BACK TO HIS HOUSE BUT AFTER A BIT, HE FINALLY DID. I CHECKED TO SEE IF HE'D BLED... HE DIDN'T THANKFULLY, SO I PUT THE LITTLE TABLE LAMP ON IN THE KITCHEN, LEFT IT ON OVER NIGHT, TURNED OUT THE OTHER LIGHT AND I GOT BACK ONTO THE FUTON AND HE 'SETTLED' AT THE ROUND MIRROR. I KEPT TALKING TO HIM, ASSURING HIM IT WAS ALL “OK” UNTIL I DRIFTED BACK OFF TO SLEEP. THIS MORNING HE'S “HESITANT” AGAIN! A “SET-BACK” IN ALL HIS PROGRESS THROUGH THE MOUTLING! AND I'M ANNOYED ABOUT THE PILLOWS ****AGAIN*** !!! FUCK FUCK FUCK !!! I DON'T KNOW HOW OR WHY THEY FELL OFF THE FUTON, BUT THEY DID AND THEY SCARED YONAH! SO THIS MORNING... I BEGAN THE DAY SEVERELY PISSED-OFF! - 8.18 coffee made. waters changed. flag out. It's supposed to be warm today with sun. It's grey this morning, but warmer than it has been. - but i have a somewhat “sour” odour about me. - Yesterday's money orders are in the blue box. - I wonder what last night's dream was about... “cookie”/loan? gal who had the cookie/CU? i asked for the cookie and she gave it/loan? Why did Nancy come into the dream? Because she has to pass the house and I'm aware of it and wonder if she's at all uncomfortable about it? And that I don't want to be confronted with/by her? Who's that “guy”? And the “maze” to “get out”? Why 7.30 on the clock? - Another day... another day. - Meteo for today 20 and sun... ONLY 8 TONIGHT! SAME FOR TOMORROW. COOL WEEKEND... MON-WED NEXT.... 21, 22, 21 AND 11. 12, 12 AT NIGHT! We'll see... - Tune in the head this morning: “Guy works down the chip-shop swears he's Elvis... But he's a liar and I'm not sure about you”. I wonder why that one! - And so... having gotten dressed and such, I brought the lap-top back into Yonah's room and started to look through things I wanted to do with the day... The PO was open. I'd dropped the “bills” in the blue box and so, I was looking at the grey morning and thinking of what I'd accomplish, with Yonah, with this day ahead. - Suddenly, 11.00, I hear the “plink” from the fucking phone in the fucking kitchen that didn't fucking ring again! So I looked... The “Health Centre”! Immediate call-back! (I'm getting REALLY FED-THE-FUCK-UP with this Skype shit.) The gal who answered started to give me the info on the “CT” but said “I'm going to have to pass you to “Melissa” because there are some REALLY BIG words here.” so... Melissa gets on the line and stammers through the “really big words” and FINALLY gets to the point... “not indicative of cancer”... as it were or such. BUT, what the report DID say (I'll have to get a copy to read) is that the “mass” is “solid” and indicative of a previous “serious” disease at some time in the past. OK... so what I'm thinking is: THEY WAIT 3 BUSINESS DAYS? Oh well... OK. “Medicine”... fukkit. BUT, I got into getting records from NorthWest Medical and... IT WAS ALL LEFT TO ME! The Liztoon Ctr. could only go back a year. SOOOoooo.... At 11.40 I called the Richford Clinic and... THE GAL WHO ANSWERED REMEMBERED ME! “You loved Vermont” she said. I corrected “I LOVED and STILL LOVE Richford!” Well... we had a GRAND chat, as if old friends and she told me I had to get through to MorthWest. SOOOOooooo.... I called NorthWest and they use a “Third Party” and the gal there (who sounded like a 12-year old) took my “particulars” and the address and number for Liztoon and said she'd call Liztoon and “fax” my med-recs. SSSSOOOooooo.... Now I get to wait and see... again. BUT... I have a “Primary”... let's see how “primary” he actually is. (Although, Demuro is listed as the “head” of medical services in Liztoon... We SHALL, indeed, see... BUT... ACCOMPLISHED THINGS TODAY! I'M IMPRESSED... with me! - 16.16 Back “from the river” for water *AND* back “from the mountains”, as it were... Took a “jaunt” across John O's. meadow and gathered some milk-weed tufts. And then up on the dirt road... a BAG of white pine needles and enough moss to put into 3 of the plastic “shoe-boxes” I'd gotten as “seed-starters”! Yes, indeed... for YONAH! (Who, by the way, hasn't been in a “good” mood all day... and I've NO doubt, last night's calamity took a bit of a toll... and it's killing me!) Oh yes, and 2 little “tufts” of grass, which I now have to figure a way of incorporating into Yonah's house because I don't have a dish that's small enough or low enough. But they're in a “baggie”, in the living-room, until I can be sure there's no “bibittes” in it. As for the pine needles, they're in a glass bowl (the largest) on their second “”blanching” in boiled water. (One to go, at least.) SO! THAT was a delight. - AND IT'S 21° AND SUNNY OUT THERE! AND DOWN TO 9° TONIGHT! AND THEY'RE CLAIMING 21° TOMORROW, 20° ON FRIDAY... AND THEN... 17° ON SATURDAY. A QUICK “INDIAN SUMMER”... BANG! But Yonah's window is open and it's almost 23° in his room (where I am now). GRAB AND ENJOY! And delight in the accomplishments of getting ALL but the “tree” for the living-room “perch”. - Veggies are on the hob. Chicken is “warming” on the table... and I'm EXHAUSTED, and that's not good because tonight I NEED a shower, especially after being in the woods and digging in needles and mosses. Anyway... (I have a LOT of “notes” to catch-up with until meal so... back I go to the notes...) - 17.54 Caught-up with this Journal... done with “meal”. Ice cream is disappearing... not good. There's a “trip” in the near future... and this month's FS are Saturday so. - Anyway... the sun's setting and so is the temperature. Time to “close the house” again. How sad. How typical. - And Yonah's still not in a good mood. But his pine needles are on third blanching! And I'm happy I got the river water, moss, grass, needles and the milk-weed tufts for him! - Now... on to “evening routine”. - Meanwhile, I'm pondering ordering the blinds... but I have to send the photos and another e-mail to the “Town”... FUCKING In-Breeds! - 18.50 Yonah is tucked-in. The kitchen is in order. I need a shower. I'm tired already. Temperature expected to drop to 9° tonight. And... the day is, for all intent and purpose... “Closed”. Tomorrow? That'll take care of itself. Now I have to decide whether or not to spend money I really don't have, on blinds... and for which room. But I didn't measure windows today. So... So... - OK... Fukkit. The day is closed. - 22.01 There's a chill out there... and 9° at 5.00. And now, though I don't want to, I'm off to a shower... and.. a try for my own bed tonight... under the lights of “mid-town Broadway”. Fuck.

Thu.07.Oct: 19.52 WHERE DID THIS DAY GO TO? It's already NIGHT out there (though, that bloody street-light is in FULLY-DECLARED WAR AGAINST THAT! I'm SO fed-the-fuck-up with this SHIT!). It's not that it wasn't a some-what “productive” sort of day, with a bit of fun and relaxation, but BAM! Here it is/There it was! - Anyway... to get on with the “particulars”...
Last night was a waste... Up and down and up and down and up and down... CONTRACTIONS! Left foot. Left calf. Right leg. Again and a-fucking-gain! I was out of the shower, finished (at long last) the last 5 pages of “Kubler-Ross” and was “lights out” but 23.00... AH... but... those contractions. - The first woke me at about 1.45 this morning.... and that was “interesting”. I got woke, pissed-off because of the pain, and when I opened my eyes, the bed-room (I was in the bed-room last night) was *DARK*! THE ELECTRIC HAD GONE! I was relieved to see DARKNESS BUT... the temperature last night was only about 8°! So I started to “worry” about Yonah's room getting too cold, should the electric not come back soon. I went to the loo and checked the clocks on the phone and stove to compare. It had only been about 5 minutes... But... PATHETICALLY (not really, considering the radiators)... as I got back into the bed-room... ***** B*L*A*M***** ALMOST PALPABLE... THE FUCKING STREET LIGHT CAME *****B*L*A*S*T*I*N*G***** BACK IN THROUGH THE CURTAINS! So... exhausted, I crawled back into bed... ANGRY. AND... all through the night... the contractions woke me. Twice, I had to get out of bed to “stand”... *** BUT *** in the last moments I had of “sleep” (as it were)...
TWO SHORT DREAMS:
IN THE FIRST ONE, I WAS LIVING IN A FLAT IN “A” CITY... ON AN “UPPER” FLOOR, PERHAPS THE 4TH OR THE 6TH, IN A “PRE-WAR”. IT WAS NIGHT, BUT THE ROOM WAS WELL-ILLUMINATED. OUT-SIDE, IT WAS DARK, AND IT WAS GETTING COLD, A RAIN WAS ABOUT TO COME. AND AT THE WINDOW WHERE I WAS STANDING, YONAH'S HOUSE, ON THE SAME SET-UP AS HE HAS... *** BUT *** YONAH WAS *** OUT-SIDE ***, STANDING, AS IT WERE, ON A “ROOF-TOP” SIMILAR TO THE “ROOF” OF THE “CELLAR SHED” HERE! HE'D GONE OUT THERE EARLIER AND WAS PERFECTLY SETTLED THERE... *** OUT-SIDE ***. I CALLED TO HIM TO COME IN, TO COME TO HIS HOUSE FOR THE NIGHT, BUT HE WANTED NOTHING TO DO ABOUT THAT. HE “FLUFFED” HIS WINGS (AS HE DOES) AND SETTLED-BACK DOWN, COMFY. I WAS MORE CONCERNED ABOUT HIM BEING OUT THERE IN THE COLD NIGHT AND THE COMING RAINS, BUT, SOME-HOW, IN THE DREAM, HIM BEING OUT THERE WASN'T ANYTHING I TOOK AS BEING “UNUSUAL”. SO I TOLD HIM THAT I WOULD LEAVE THE SCREEN IN THE WINDOW OPEN AND HIS DOOR, AND WHEN HE WAS READY, HE COULD COME HOME (THINKING THAT HE'D COME BACK WHEN HE GOT HUNGRY OR IT GOT TOO UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HIM OUT THERE). AS I STEPPED AWAY FROM THE WINDOW, MY HEART ACHED AT THINKING THAT HE JUST MIGHT NOT COME BACK IN, THAT HE'D HEAD OUT FARTHER, AND MIGHT NEVER COME BACK! BUT, I THOUGHT, I JUST HAVE TO TRUST HIM AND HIS DECISIONS. ALL I COULD DO IS HOPE HE'D COME BACK. I COULDN'T “GO AFTER HIM” BECAUSE IF I DID, HE JUST MIGHT HEAD AWAY FROM ME AND BEING OUT THERE, SO HIGH ABOVE EVERYTHING, HE'D BE FREE TO TRAVEL AS FAR AS HIS WINGS WOULD TAKE HIM. THE THOUGHT OF THAT PHYSICALLY SICKENED ME... THINKING OF ALL THE TERRORS HE'D HAVE TO CONFRONT... MOST OF THEM BEING SO STRANGE TO HIM...
THE DREAM SNAPPED TO THE NEXT ONE...
I WAS A JACKIE'S, VISITING, AND AGAIN... IT WAS NIGHT, DARK. I'D JUST ENTERED THE KITCHEN WHEN, FROM THE BACK YARD, THROUGH THE PORCH AND INTO THE KITCHEN * HALLIE * CAME IN... RUNNING AT FULL SPEED TO SEE AND GREET ME! AND ON HER BACK... A WHITE AND BROWN-SPOTTED PIGEON WAS NESTLED, COMFORTABLY, ON ON THE PIGEON, A MOURNING DOVE! BUT THE PIGEON HAD BEEN “MIMOU” IN THE YARD AND SOME-HOW CHANGED AS THEY ALL CAME THROUGH THE PORCH! BUT BOTH WERE PERFECTLY NESTLED ON HALLIE'S BACK AS SHE CAME *CHARGING* INTO THE KITCHEN, SO HAPPY TO SEE ME! AND JACKIE COMMENTED “SHE'S MISSED YOU. THEY'VE MISSED YOU. AS YOU CAN SEE.” AND SHE SAID IT IN AN ALMOST “ACCUSATORY” TONE. I WAS JUST TOO AMAZED THAT THE LITTLE ONES ON HALLIE'S BACK WERE SO SECURE THERE AND SO ELATED AT SEEING THEM THAT I DIDN'T REALLY CARE ABOUT WHAT JACKIE HAD TO SAY OR HOW SHE SAID IT...
AND... I woke from that...
It was almost 7.30! - All told, I MIGHT have gotten about 4 hours sleep all night, but, it was time to get to YONAH! And so... I got up from the bed and... “morning routines” commenced. - This morning, Yonah had obviously slept by his round mirror last night. It pains me to think of him there because it strikes me as him sleeping “next to another dove”. I always wonder if that's how he perceives his reflections. And, as I say, I wouldn't mind getting him a companion but I'd have to get a “ring-neck” because I'm not about to get another mourning dove... I doubt any are up for “adoption”, I'd be PISSED to the core if I found one for sale, I'm NOT going to “trap” one from the wild! And... I don't know that Yonah would appreciate having to “share” his house with another dove now. I don't know if he'd prefer a female or male. I don't know if another dove would take to him... being here for a year now. But... he DOES LOOK A LOT BETTER than he has in past weeks... in spite of still being rather “stand-off-ish” with me this morning. Well... so... we got on with our morning... and I put the 22 shirts and whites into the basin to soak as I did my “internet”... Fucking basin though... it fucking leaks and I don't know where! Thankfully, it's not into the cabinet... probably the shit “stopper”. This place is wearing my nereves down! QUICKLY! - At about 11.30-ish, I hung the washing and I checked the post and went out back to see about the brakes on the truck. I wanted to see if I could see where the damage is... Checking the wheels, I noticed that the “disc” on the passenger-rear has some kind of “greasy soot” on it. The driver's side is quite clean! “Brake pad”? “Calipre”? What-ever, there's no indication of any sort of “break” in the line or anything of the sort. Who knows? It might be a simple replacement job of some part or another. Still... I'm in a position where I have to choose now... blinds for the windows or fix the truck! FUCK ME! But I'm relieved to see that the under-side of the truck doesn't show any sort of HORRIFIC damage! - Whilst out, in the brilliant sun-shine and warmth of today, I had a “look-see” in the garage... for those 4x4s or something else I could use, and the pallets, to make a head-board for my bed so the pillows there don't fall behind it (and I MUST figure out something for Yonah's futon as well!)! WELL WELL WELL!!! TO MY SHOCK AND SURPRISE... THOSE 4x4s I'D PUT ASIDE FOR THE LEGS OF THE KITCHEN TABLE ACTUALLY ARE STILL THERE! I CAN MAKE THE TABLE! AND THERE ARE PIECES OF PLYWOOD THERE TOO, SO I CAN COVER THE PALLET TO MAKE A NICE TABLE! (Alvin's gone so I have to get BUSY!) - Then, I decided to toddle to Dan's to ask about the “darkening” of the blinds at Walmarde and he brought me through the house to show me the difference between the white and the wood... and the wood is the way I'd go. (I'd measured the windows this morning... Yonah's room will cost 53$... the bed-room, 62$ !!! WELL! THAT FUCKS THE BRAKE-JOB! But we sat and chatted a while, mostly about the pains of these old houses, the noise of New Russia and work we need to do AND THE DREAD OF HEATING THIS WINTER! Last year, I got 750 from heap... he got 740... but at this year's prices... we're FUCKED if there isn't more than that coming. So I reminded him... there are 3 “emergencies” in addition... and WE BOTH NEED TO GO FOR THEM! NO MATTER WHAT! Anyway... we chatted for quite the while and it was a delight. He seems to enjoy the company commenting on how he's there, alone, all day. So... it's nice. As I told him: I was thinking about who I'd trust to drop in to check on Yonah, should I have had to go away for a night and the only one I could think of was him. “The City people”, as we are. He was amused. - And so... on my way back in... Ms. VTrash was on her back gallery, her spore was just leaving. We, Ms. and I, got to chatting and that rolled along entirely TOO long... I didn't get back into the house until after 15.30! Time to think about “meal” and I'd missed the mid-day pills (I took them with meal though... to keep the “count” up). - I had 2 dozen eggs in the fridge and one NEEDS to be cooked, and I've been in the mood for “dumplings” so... after “HELLO” to Yonah... I got busy... BUT I PHONED CIBC TO SEE ABOUT “ACTIVATING” THE NEW CARD AND THE GUY TOLD ME THAT ALL I NEED DO IS USE IT... AND I CAN USE IT IN THE STATES! I JUT HAVE TO USE IT IN A STORE. (I'M GOING TO TRY THE ATMS IN TOWN...) HE WAS SO UNDERSTANDING AND MENTIONED “YOU'VE BEEN WITH US SINCE 2014 AND WE APPRECIATE THAT”.. IMAGINE? THAT LONG! AND THERE'S SO LITTLE IN THE ACCOUNT BUT... “'WE APPRECIATE”... I WAS ABOUT TO CLOSE THAT ACCOUNT TOO... IT DOES ME NO PARTICULAR GOOD, REALLY... I CAN'T GET A LOAN OR ANYTHING AND AT THE RATE THIS “SO-CALLED COVID” SHIT IS GOING... BUT THE GUY AT CIBC (WITH A STRONG “INDIAN” ACCENT) SAID HE EXPECTS IT ALL TO STOP SOON AND “HOLD ON, HANG IN THERE”. I WAS JUST RELIEVED TO LEARN I CAN KEEP THE ACCOUNT AND CARD! - so... I got to making the dumplings and made enough for tonight and 2 servings, in baggies, in the freezer! Threw them together, tossed veggie into the same water... had that with the last half chicken breast and... it was TIME for MEAL... so I sat, ate and by 17.45 all the washing-up was done and the kitchen was settled.... and it was TIME for YONAH'S EVENING ROUTINE! (FUCK... these days are short!) - THAT PROVED TO BE FUN THIS EVENING! When I looked in to his room, Yonah was at this door, the skies were dark out-side, so I went in and got to work... and as I worked, he “dodged” me. He's not been “Lovey” yet. So I continued as I would, and put his “NatSpec” light on as I did. AH... THEN CAME THE FUN! I'd done, put the boards up, gone to the kitchen to get his water dish and as I went back to his room... HE WAS OUT... ON THE SHELF! NOT READY FOR “SEEPIE-NIGH-NIGHT” AT ALL! BUT HE WAS A BIT PLAYFUL! SO I GAVE HIM SOME EXTRA TIME THERE AFTER SOME SMOOCHES AND PLAY (AND HE PECKED AT MY FINGERS INSTEAD OF HEADING AWAY)... and I did HIS Journal entry for today... but when I'd done, it really was time to put the lights out for him so I went back and we played a bit until he hopped onto my hand and I slowly got him “back home”... where he hopped off onto his perch. Once “settled”, I got him “tucked-in”, put his light out, radiator on... 10° tonight (and 21° tomorrow... and no Richie tomorrow... I'm still toying with the blinds... and SMASHING Liztoon fuckers to HELL!). - And now... it's already 20.46... the house is settled, I want a quick shower tonight because... just because. Tomorrow, I want to look for that “tree” for Yonah so we can keep company in the kitchen. Other than that... I'll need to get to market. Ice cream is almost gone! Thankfully, there's enough smokes for a while. I'd rather not go to market just yet but... we shall see... AND I WANT TO GET A HEAD-BOARD FOR THE BED AND THE “KITCHEN TABLE” DONE! (The fucking lumber is there and now I'm feeling I'm owed at least that much... Fucking conniver.) And the yard needs a “mulching mow”. Things... “things” to do... AND YONAH... I HOPE HE'S BETTER AGAIN TOMORROW... (I'll be in my bed again tonight... HOPING TO FUCKING SLEEP!) - And there we have it! Time to post these Journals to servers... a quick QI, shower and bed! FUCK! ANOTHER DAY... GONE... but at least I didn't just piss it completely away... Eh? - 22.42 No shower off to bed... in the “light room”... fuck.

Fri.08.Oct: 7.49 Up at 7.00 heard the 6.00 alarm and didn't bother. I just wanted to stay in bed until I HAD to get up.
But I woke from a dream... another “strange” dream:
I was living in Albany, with a “somebody”.... room-mate or other... somebody completely un-familiar with Albany (in retrospect... like Silas?). Albany had subways and he needed to know which one to take to get to his job. I didn't know because, I was some-how, back from being away a while and when I'd been there, Albany didn't have subways. So I called a phone number for information and was connected to some “Tourism” office... IN NEWBURGH! A fellow by the name of... “Robert Rozencranz” answered! I wondered if it was the one I knew as a kid but didn't ask. (I remembered the “Three Tunnels”... I say no more.) Anyway, he gave me some sort of info that I didn't remember when I woke out of the dream... BUT... I told the “room-mate” we could figure it out and so, we took to the dreary, rainy streets. Ah... I noticed the stairs leading to the subway station not far from the flat. At the station the “d” and “no” trains stopped there. (I wonder about the letters... why those and that they were, on the sign, lower-case... something to ponder... “D” and “NO”?) I was taken by the colour-code... Blue... like the “A” train. (So now I have “A”, “D” and “NO” to work with...) So we both went down to the station mezz. There were stores and such, as with the old stations in The City and the room-mate went on to take the train... As I was looking about... I recognised a guy chatting-up some younger woman... I recognised the face (though in reality, I NEVER would)... It WAS RR! BUT... he was shirtless, wore a bit of a cap, was FAT, looked rather filthy, balding, wore low-waist-riding shorts and was tattooed! He also had an obvious “scrape” on his waist! He was looking at some kind of map on the wall! When I saw him, I wondered how he'd gotten to Albany so quickly and WHY he was in THAT subway station! But I wanted to avoid him more than talk so I did my best to not be seen and get back to the street. As I got to the street level I was struck by an anxiety... the room-mate was off to work and I was alone... in Albany... and I didn't like that at all... and... the 6.30 alarm sounded and I woke... and because of the “anxiety” attack in the dream... I got right out of bed so as not to drift back to sleep... for fear of... well... another dream... and more anxieity.
This day had begun! - 16.16 DONE !!! I DON'T REALLY BELIEVE I DID IT BUT... I DID IT! THE LAWN IS MOWED *** AND *** THE 4x4s ARE CUT TO LENGTH *** AND *** THE PALLET SLOTS FOR THE 4x4s GOT CUT AND THERE'S THE BEGINNING OF THE KITCHEN TABLE, ON THE BACK GALLERY !!! ALL I NEED NOW IS THE BOLTS, AND, PERHAPS, AN “OVER-LAY” TO COVER THE SLATS OF THE PALLET. BUT... *** I DON'T BELIEVE I DID IT BUT.... I DID IT !!! *** AND I'VE SWEPT THE BACK GALLERY, THE FRONT PORCH AND HOOVERED THE HOUSE. AND “MEAL” (FRANKS AND VEG) IS ON THE HOB! I FEEL, PHYSICALLY, LIKE SHIT. I FEEL, EMOTIONALLY... ACCOMPLISHED !!! - NOW? A TREE FOR YONAH'S HOUSE AND A TREE FOR THE LIVING-ROOM FOR YONAH TO ROOST AND... I AM “ACCOMPLISHED” !!! - But right now... I NEED to eat some-thing and call this day “done”! - And poor Yonah... we didn't get much time together today. But we have ALL of tomorrow... SATURDAY !!! - I'm going to PAY, and pay DEARLY, for all of this, tonight. But... I DID IT! And that's all that matters at the moment. - 20.48 OUT OF A “DOUBLE-SCRUB” SHOWER, toe-nails clipped (and not a moment too soon!) Sitting at table in clean scrubs and getting Yonah's Journal entry down. I'm SO TIRED though. Took the “night pills” before the shower and will take an extra naproxen before bed... NOT, mind, that I believe it's going to “help” avoid contractions. It never really does any more. But maybe it'll help keep me asleep through them? I can wish. But it does feel great being CLEAN again! Oh... trimmed the beard too. Imagine that! “Friday night”... “erev Shabbat” and all that. - 22.35! No matter how early I get things done, no matter how I look forward to a 21.30 bed-time... 22.30-something. Oh well. At least I'm showered. But one note: WOW... the “hair-loss” is getting to the “UGLY” phase. Right across the top of the head. I'm “considering” just cropping it ALL down and going for... “old and bald”... I'm “considering”. UGLY! (But Denis did say “You have the face for it.” Yeah... “Denis”... Now THERE'S a “reliable source”... NOT any more.)

Sat.09.Oct: (NEW LOAN) 8.35 There's a wash in the basin, Yonah's morning routine is done, breakfast in the yard, flag on the porch, I'm dressed... clouds in the sky over-head, sun shining on Greene, it's quite a comfy temperature out there... AND I DIDN'T GET UP ONCE, THROUGH THE NIGHT, AND DIDN'T GET OUT OF BED UNTIL 7.30! HOW that's possible is a wonder. But more of a wonder is that I'm STILL TIRED, and could go for a snooze already! (And I'm a bit “congested”, but that's to be expected after mowing yesterday. Still... ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT? It seems like it's been YEARS! - And now, in anger, I'm trying to decide whether or not to “shop”... Blinds for Yonah, food for Yonah... That “loan” is either “dead in the water” or won't be dispersed until December. What-ever. I'm in no particular RUSH with anything other than Yonah's windows. So there's time to ponder, and ponder, I shall. (I'm still quite impressed with having managed to make it through and entire night! Shame, really, that that should be so “odd”... in “this little place in the Adirondacks”. Fuck this “Liztoon” shit.) - Moving along... and just moving along. The day has commenced... and so we're rolling. - 12.43 TN phoned this morning... APPROVED! POSTED! Apparently they called at about 9.45 on the bloody Skype number but I never even got a “blip”! This shit is about to GO! I'm fed-the-fuck-up with this! ANYWAY... They managed, thankfully, to call on “Yonah's” number to tell me that I just needed to “sign” the papers and it would be posted to the account! WELL! It took a few moments to get the e-mail with the link to the forms... They had a “signature” at the ready and “click, click, click, click”... I stepped out to hang this morning washing, got “caught” by Ms. VTrash and chatted a bit and when I got back into the house... The notice, in the e-mail... “COMPLETE”! I CHECKED THE ACCOUNT... POSTED! WHAT A DAY THIS IS! (And to think... I don't like using the phone on Saturday! WELL? “God” made it so that this would come through... so “God” intended it to be this way. (I'm SO reminded of “Tony Muscle” and his mobile phone: “God knew that I wanted to get a job and get out of this shelter, and he wanted me to get a job and get out. But he knew I needed a phone and couldn't afford one so he saw to it that somebody would leave one and that I would find it.” Well... Indeed, indeed... They say “God works in mysterious ways...” Obviously, even on Shabbat! - 19.48 I AM STILL IN A STATE OF “SHOCK” OVER THIS LOAN-BUSINESS! I've already put it into the “spread-sheet” and “on the books”. But the very idea that it was APPROVED AND POSTED TO THE ACCOUNT... NOT TO MENTION, I READ THE PAPER-WORK AND YES, “730” IS THE SCORE NOT THE “651” OF “TRANSUNION”. (Let's see how the payment made effects THAT... and THEN we'll work along with or against it). I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED... though the “deferment” of the student burden is of an intense help... GODS HELP me when THAT changes... come January... FUCKERS!) BUT... for now... there's money to put into the truck AND, with what I had in the VT account...
I'VE ORDERED THE BLINDS FOR YONAH'S WINDOWS AND A NICE STOCK OF FOOD AND GRAVEL AND EVEN SOME “OATS” FOR HIM! BETTER? IT SHOULD ALL ARRIVE ON WEDNESDAY! OUR ANNIVERSARY! MY “GIFTS OF LOVE” TO HIM, FOR HIM, BECAUSE OF HIM! NOW THERE'S A “SHABBAT” IF EVER THERE EVER WAS ONE!
OK... AND AS WE'RE AT IT... A MESSAGE FROM *MINDY*! SHE WANTED TO KNOW IF IT WOULD BE OK TO BRING THE ART-WORKS... TOMORROW OR MONDAY! IMAGINE? BUT... thanks to that “thing on the Hill”... I CAN'T DRIVE TO MEET HER AND MIKE NOW! (Oh... yes... indeed... my gut boils... had that thing not pulled that shit with that cheque, I wouldn't have parked in the drive as I did and I'd be ready and able to roll along... even fist thing tomorrow morning but NOOOOOOOO! Another “Linda Rubo”. But I can't say that I didn't expect it and so... there we have it.) ANYWAY, I SENT A MESSAGE TO TELL THAT I'D WANTED TO MEET THEM “AT LEAST HALF WAY” AND CAN'T AND LET ME KNOW WHAT SHE THINKS. ***** AND SHE ASKED AFTER YONAH !!! ***** SHE'S WORKING WITH THE LOCAL HUMANE SOCIETY! AH... ANOTHER HUMAN BEING WHO APPRECIATES THE LITTLE ONES! So I'm waiting to hear back. I hope she doesn't decide to drive all the way up here! I DO have space to “serve” 3 people, but I don't have the cutlery... Ah... but now I can get some... should I need... Still... that's a HELL of a LONG drive. Yes, I've done it, and mentioned it in my e-mail to her. Still... But we shall see...
Yonah and I spent as much time as possible together today AND HE'S MAKING HIS “COME-BACK” AGAIN TODAY.... SMOOCHES AND ALL !!! AND, UNLESS MINDY DECIDES TO TAKE TO THE ROADS TOMORROW... I'M GOING INTO THE WOODS FOR A NICER LITTLE TREE FOR YONAH... FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY AND FOR THE WINTER ! A NEW TREE. FRESH PINE NEEDLES... THE “GREAT OUT-DOORS” FOR HIM !!! MY BESTIE LITTLE HEART-BEAT!
Just looking at “messages” from the phone. Somebody replied to a post I made about Yonah when he first came into my then-existence. I'll have to reply. This “poster” is in the same place I was then. OH! I have information and help now... I'll post Yonah's site! We're HELPING OTHERS... as intended. - 20.12 already! Pills taken. Time to wrap this day up! And what a day it is to wrap! - A bit of QI and off to bed... and HOPE for a repeat of LAST NIGHT! (Though, with all the “greatness” of last night and today...) - 23.13 - Posted Yonah's site to “Pigeon.biz”. Somebody posted to the forum and I got a “notification”. I'd forgotten about that site, but when I browsed about, there was quite a bit of information and such on there. So, I registered Yonah on there and posted my own replies, including references and link to Yonah's site. (I wish I could put a “counter” on the site to track traffic, but those days are gone, it seems, unless I want to support “the G”... and I don't. Anyway, we'll see what comes of it. Now... to bed! SO MUCH LATER than I'm comfortable with.

Sun.10.Oct: 10.40 Well, last night started quite annoyingly. The light blasting through closed eyes. Then two contractions, for NO apparent reason or cause. Thankfully, they were brief. But one of them was the right thigh, and THAT, THOSE, THERE are the about the worst because they actually make standing and walking SO PAINFUL! I got up, went for a pee, which I didn't really need but... and got back into bed, REALLY ANGRY... and after the second one, I drifted to sleep... until this morning's alarms... and at 7.30... got up and hit the day... - It's grey! It's breezy. It's damp. It's chilly. It's “October”. - “Morning routine” as is “morning routine”. Yonah's a bit “stand-off-ish” this morning. But the radio is on, and the little desk lamp. I'll put the “NatSpec” light on a little later. - And I've done MORE SHOPPING FOR YONAH! Today... 2 more little trays for the bottom of the “house” and a new “mirror”. I spending whilst I may... There are three out-standing orders now... and all for Yonah. And ALL just don't feel to be enough for him. I don't know what will make him happy... I'm SURE birds know and sense “happy”. It's already been established that they know and sense danger, anxiety, sadness... They MUST know and sense, feel and experience happiness, gladness, elation. People get special cakes and sweets and such on special occasions. Foods. Yonah has such a mixture of so much good foods, some of which he wouldn't get out in the “natural”. And he gets them as a matter of course. So I don't know what to do about “special”. But... there are oats coming... so there's something “new”... and due on Wednesday. I'm doing the best I can. - Other-wise, I'm tired again. I'm tired of this being tired. And I want to get that letter done... about the light. And I want to check and review the “Will/DNR”. - And, it's supposed to “clear” during the day so I WILL be heading into the woods for a new tree for Yonah as well. - I'm restless, inside. I'm tired all over. And here I sit, at the work table... prepping for a snooze... And Yonah is on his perch... quiet. He's been “hoo'ing” this morning. Still no “woo-HOO-hoo”... I'm “concerned” but... I don't know what to do. Maybe it's “'tis the season”? I just don't know. - 18.51THE KITCHEN TABLE (PALLET) IS MADE !!! AND I'M SITTING AT IT AS I TYPE THIS! GOT THE PALLET OVER A YEAR AGO... AND THIS AFTER-NOON... I JUST “HAD AT IT”. SCREWS INSTEAD OF BOLTS, BUT... IT'S STANDING, IT'S STABLE... IT'S A TABLE !!! I WANTED TO DO THIS AT LEAST 2 YEARS AGO... AND IT'S DONE! (It could use a good sanding and cleaning, but... it's suffices and it will probably stay this way until...) - *** AND *** YONAH HAS A NEW TREE ! A LARGER TREE ! - At 14.00, the sun came out and I headed out... across the road, in search of a tree for Yonah. The little one in the front corner was starting to look a little “clipped”. Yonah's been picking at it all the while. So? So... I headed into the Deming meadow but, at a last moment, noticed that the North side had a better stand of white pine. So I crossed over and sure enough... MANY little white pines to choose from! So I dug one up, with a garden trowel, and potted it right there. Added a bit of moss to the top and... brought Yonah's new tree back and put it into his house. And it fits lovely! - AND, the old round kitchen table is now on the back gallery. Ms. VT was thinking of taking it but decided it's too big (it really is, for over there), so now I have to get it back up-stairs. But at least it's out of this kitchen. - Quite the day. - And meal was late because of “chat”... 18.00 instead of 17.00 but... now... ALL is done! Even Yonah's “evening routine”! I lost an hour and caught a half hour... some-where. - I'm going to PAY for this tonight! - And I'd forgotten... NO PO TOMORROW! WOOHOO! - And so... Yonah is tucked-in and the doors are closed. It's supposed to be a “cool” but not “cold” night tonight too. - Oh.. and NYSEG wouldn't take my meter reading but I figured... even with all the oven-use, baking river sand... I'll be a mere 33$ over the budget payment! (I need to keep track of that... I'll just put the “overs” into a savings account... I WILL! DAMNIT!) - AND... THIS MORNING, I ORDERED 2 TRAYS AND A NEW MIRROR FOR YONAH'S HOUSE TOO! “ANNIVERSARY SHOPPING”! BLINDS, FOODS, HOUSE-WARES... IT'S GOING TO BE A “GIFTY WEEK” COMING! BUT NOTHING'S TOO GOOD FOR MY LITTLE GUY! AND HE SEEMS TO BE GETTING “BETTER” AS THE DAYS PASS! THANK THE GODS! - Now... time to get to Yonah's Journal and... TRY (again) for a “civil hour” to bed... though there's a SHOWER in demand... we shall see. - But I'm feeling quite “accomplished”. YAY! - 20.45 OUT OF A NICE HOT SHOWER! EARLY EVEN! - Two notes: Earlier this evening, Ms. VT and I were discussing “religions”, as we do, and the old “Catechism” was mentioned. I couldn't remember THE Catechism that was used, “pre-Vatican II” and neither could she. BUT... AS I was sudsing-up in the shower just now, noticing that I'm “bruising” where I get the worst night contractions, and pondering whether or not to mention this to the MD, AND recalling how, with a simple prick of some wire today, on a finger, I readily bleed... out of that came the word “BALTIMORE”! THAT WAS THE CATECHISM! Oh... the brain. - The other “note”: This LED light aimed at the house... SO very like a “Stalag” search and surveillance light! Gee... I'll have to throw that into the letter to the Town and such. The light illuminates the house “appropriately” for surveillance... So I wonder what they're looking for... especially in the bed-room... at night. - OK... back to Yonah's Journal... - I'm showered! How WONDERFUL! - 23.29 QI done... and too, the day... Now off to the HELLISH TORTURE of trying for sleep. - NO PO TOMORROW! (But I'll have to make a run into town for shit... Oh well... Hopefully the brakes will hold... teeheeheeheeheeheeheefuk.)

Mon.11.Oct: 18.27 Yes, I'm only JUST NOW getting to this Journal today! And I was up and running at 7.00 this morning! OK. So I DID get a “slow start” to the day because, well, in spite of actually SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT last night (imagine THAT shit)... I woke, this morning, as usual... quite rather exhausted, as is usual for me. But I got Yonah's “morning routine” done right away, of course. NOTHING will come in the way of THAT. But, there was “internet”, and the rest of that shit, and it was a chilly morning, with “mists on the mountains” and me and my fucking “consideration”... I waited to get started until “New Russia” woke up. - OK... so, by about 11.00, I'd had enough and went to the garage and, thankfully, the ply-wood pieces in there, up on the wall, behind all the other shit, were EXACTLY the size that I need for the kitchen table. SO... TWO pieces cover it almost perfectly. They could be a bit better, but still, they cover the area. So I'm satisfied. (The cost is perfect... MINE.) So tonight, the table is solid on top, with a “seam” in the middle that doesn't interfere with me. But, as expected, the table is a touch “wobbly”... but again, nothing that interferes. - OK... THAT done... hauling the other table up-stairs! HEAVY SHIT! NO HELP! I managed to get it up-stairs and into a “room” up there. And, of course, because I had to go across the porch for Nr.5... I got caught in “chat”. THAT wasted too much time on this warm, slightly hazy, delightful day. AND, because I was “kind”, Ms. VTRash and I took a stroll down the dirt road that goes by the pump-house... which ends RIGHT on John Ds property. But, at least I got to see that. (And STILL haven't found a tree for Yonah! Oh well...) - THEN... Ms. Pat from the Lakota came by, walking her dog. She brought a plastic container (“Kosher Dill Spears”?) with lasagne. “I always make too much.” she said... I still wonder what she wanted, but if it was a lift... well... I told her about the truck, no brakes, and we talked about the street light and she asked “Can't you put heavy blankets over the windows?” Always the TRASH remedies! Anyway... she went on her merry way and.... - By the time I got done with all today's “chores”... it was 15.15! These fucking days pass too fucking quickly! - 4 eggs... fritatta... with the one slice of pizza... “'meal”... But dessert? Peaches... I need to get to the market and dread what I'm not going to find there. But, I had food so... no complaints. And I cooked the food. No complaints. - AH... THEN... I GOT TO DO THE WASHING-UP WITH YONAH ON MY SHOULDER! He's STILL “push-off-ish” today, but I tricked him into getting on my shoulder and we went for our “stroll”, front and back doors and I thought I'd try the washing-up and there he was, on my shoulder, all the while! Of course, getting him back “home” was a lot of PLAY! But his waters and kitchen roll are done and he's all tucked in for the night. - And now... I'm quite tired, to be sure. And looking forward to catching-up with the day and getting to bed. Tomorrow... to town and a stop at Richie's (which I don't look forward to because I KNOW there's going to be another week before he'll look at the truck... oh well... I have the money... his loss... not really too much mine... other than getting art-work back). - Now... on to Yonah's Journal and then... what-ever comes next. - 22.33 I had “night pills” at 19.30... 2 episodes of QI and was almost ready for closing the day when I checked e-mails and had to reply to Mindy who DID get my e-mails but “got side-tracked”. So now it's looking like last week in Oct. or beginning of Nov. Oh fine... gives me time to “plan”. There isn't much to offer but... I have time (I can even get to Hannafords and where-ever I need to get some extra cutlery... and decide what I can “serve”... now to figure “where”... in this house.) Oh well... so much for “planning”. But now I MUST get me to a bed... no shower tonight. But I really don't NEED one anyway. - And I DO have to catch-up with Yonah's journal... but market and smokes and a stop at Richie's tomorrow is all there is... AND FINDING A TREE FOR YONAH. - Wednesday will be “THE BIG DAY”... blinds and food for Yonah should be arriving! ANNIVERSARY GIFTS FOR MY LITTLE HEART-BEAT! - I'm tired... I'm HOPING to SLEEP tonight! (I'm not planning on it though, after hauling that table up... but...)

Tue.12.Oct: 11.02 Up at 6.30... Internet. “Morning Routines”. Off to FamDoll for cleaners and smokes. Banque to try the new card... Don't know why but couldn't “complete” account balance. But it seems the code works. I don't know. Then to market for almost 60$ of NOTHING! And... made it back to find that Trash-spore parked at the back so I had to back into the drive! Ah... FUCK! - Yonah's a bit “in the corner” of the room this morning. - Skies are grey. Supposed to get to 23° eventually. But that “spore” is here and I've no doubt, there's going to be smoke... coming in through Yonah's windows. - Didn't stop by Richie. But I feel it's a caliper, show and rotor. If so, I can afford it (thanks to the loan). - And I smell cigarettes... but I think it's because I'm expecting it. - Pondering burning the twigs in the back today. There's a “gentle breeze”... I'd LUV to FILL that place next-door with smoke! And her “washing” is on the rack so.... - We shall see. I'm tired. Don't know why. I slept through the night and woke, originally, at about 5.30... but waited for an alarm. Thought of making a wash... but didn't. Not sure why not. Might still... Yonah's futon linens... I'm in there tonight... to wake, on our anniversary, tomorrow! MY PRECIOUS LOVE! (One year passed... How many more have we got? Well, what-ever the number, mine won't differ much.) - (On Thu.14.Oct: 6.54 I've a LOT to catch-up on here this morning. It's been a few of those “Exhausted at night-fall” days of late... so... let's get rolling!) - TODAY'S ACCOMPLISHMENT: I GOT A TREE FOR YONAH! After all the dilly-dallying du jour, it was such a “warm and wonderful” day, and I was fed-up with being “considerate of others” as I usually tend to be, I toddled over to the little “wood-land” where the house/church/what-ever was, just beyond “the park” and found an “almost suitable” maple. Came back to the house, grabbed the saw and... YONAH HAS A LITTLE TREE IN THE LIVING-ROOM! IN A POT, CLIPPED TO FIT NICELY. It needs a bit of “work”, the limbs are quite thin, and it needs weight at the bottom, but there it is, at last! The final item on my most recent list of “Millie's TODO”. (Ah... Chemical Bank, 95 Wall... Millie. I wonder where they all are today. I know 95 Wall was destroyed when it went “residential”. Shit.) OK. YONAH HAS A TREE IN THE LIVING-ROOM! I'M HAPPY ABOUT THAT! TO BE SURE! - As I was headed across the road for the tree, Ms. VTrash was on its front porch, cutting cardboard for recyc. So charming. Anyway, another “chat” to learn that “Spore” was here to take mama to the MD this morning. Said “mama”, she'd mentioned my situation with the street light and AFTER, thought, “We were there for a good hour. We could have given you a ride. You would have had plenty of time to go to Tops. I'm sorry.” I've no idea whether or not is was sincere, but considering the source... Anyway, I'm just relieved that Spore came, retrieved, returned and departed. And, quite frankly, I wouldn't have accepted anyway. But... I was genteel about it all (of course). - NOW THEN... AMAZING... AS I WAS DOING A BIT OF WASHING-UP EARLY THIS EVENING, ANITA DEMINGS CAME TO THE DOOR ! SHE'D LIKE A SIGN, SIMILAR TO THE ONE I MADE HERE FOR THE “POST OFFICE” DIRECTION, THAT READS “HILLCREST”, AND ASKED HOW MUCH I'D CHARGE FOR SUCH A THING! APPARENTLY “ALL THE OLD HOUSES HERE HAVE NAMES” AND THEIR PLACE IS THE OLD “HILLCREST INN”. AND SHE'D LIKE ANOTHER THAT READS “INDY'S .45” OR SOMETHING OF THE SORT, FOR THE “RUN” BEHIND JOHN O.s PLACE. APPARENTLY, THAT LOOP IS ,45mi AND “INDY” IN THEIR DOG. IMAGINE THAT. (Now I'll have to find the lumber... and I'll be damned if I'm going to BUY any. Thankfully, she's not in any rush. Funny... Jeff makes signs. She can't ask him. And of all the folks in the hamlet... she comes to ME. Hmmm... “Telling”, I'd say.) And she asked if I've ever spoken to John O. and when I said, as I do that I find him kind and nice, she confirmed that they don't speak at all. Ah... “functional families”. Ain't it great? And... none of my concern. - Moving along.... I FINALLY GOT THE “LED” LETTER DONE! Photos and such, included in the text. And a couple of pages of the “AMA” report to accompany! I'll just make a quick “review and edit”, but all I need do now is print, stuff, stamp, send! TAH-the-fucking-DAH! I'm looking for the blood to flow with these shit-sacks now and this “blitz” ought to make a bit of a dent in somebody's reputation... one way or another. (I'm also prepping for another one of those “calls” from the Mass-hole “TELLING” me to “STOP”. Yeah? Fuck you too. C'MON BABIES, LET'S ROCK AND ROLL! PAPA'S IN NO MOOD TO FUCK AROUND ANY MORE! - OK... tonight I'm jotting “notes”, as I do, because I'm tired, as usual, and tomorrow's supposed to be rather wet (similar to 13 October 2020... oddly enough) and I want to get to futon early... so that Yonah and I can get a good night's sleep (if I'm so blessed) and I can wake tomorrow, on our ANNIVERSARY together! And, if it's to be a damp, wet sort of day, we'll be spending ALL of the day together! (I plan to anyway). I'm SO looking forward to this... and YONAH'S FOOD ORDER IS SUPPOSED TO ARRIVE! (I wish the blinds for his window were coming too... and he could have a great night of appropriate darkness in his room.... but...) HEY! “ANNIVERSARY GIFTS”! (Yeah, I know... to him it's just another day of having to put up with me. But... I wish there was something MORE I could do for him... especially since he's getting over that moulting! Oh... the fucking “superiority” of humanity! What a fucking waste! - OK... Night pills at 20.00... a quick shower on the agenda and DONE WITH THE DAY! Look to “tomorrow”! - 21.31.... OFF TO THE SHOWER AND... TO FUTON! AT LONG LAST!

Wed.13.Oct: OUR 1-YEAR ANNIVERSARY: YONAH AND I
Last night, at 21.31, I closed the computer, popped in for a quick shower, and went right to Yonah's futon for the night. Ah... but... because, let's say, I SO looked forward to getting up this morning in his room, with him... No.
Dreams and contractions...
It was night, as it often is, in my dreams, darkness. For some unknown reason, I'd gone to VT, in the truck, and brought Yonah with me. We arrived at 5199, after having been to visit somebody else in VT on the way to 5199, but, I can't now, nor when I woke from the dream, remember who. But it was somebody I'd “needed” to see. We, Yonah and I, hadn't stopped there for long because our “destination” was 5199. So, we arrived, and I drove into the front drive and parked the truck next to the phone shed. We went into the house via the back porch, as would be at any time and into the kitchen. Yonah was on my shoulder, and not in a carrier or cage of any sort. He'd ridden with me, in the truck, that way as well, free to be in the truck where he chose. And so, he was the same when we got into the house. I felt sure that he'd be perfectly fine, being able to get up into higher places, so as not to have to deal with Mimou or Ms. Hallie there. And when we got in, he did take off into the other rooms and I was fine with this.
Jackie was in the living-room, watching television, when we arrived and I had, with me, a dark-beige bed-sheet and two pillows with cases of the same colour (the same colour as the pillow cases I keep in the living-room here, at home). She hadn't noticed that we'd arrived and I didn't disturb her, I just laid the sheet and pillows on the kitchen floor, by the stove, as a place to sleep for the night. The floor was wood-plank and had bird-seed on it, as if dropped, and never attended. But I prepared my little place there anyway. I laid down, on the floor, covered me with the sheet and began to falls asleep.
I felt a little “nibbling” on my great toe, left foot (come to learn, it was the beginning of the “contraction”, actually) and knew that it was Mimou. I wasn't disturbed by this at all, and was happy to know that he was still in the house and well. I wondered if he remembered me when Jackie came in and picked him up to take him away. He let out a long “meowowowow” as she lifted him. Not in “pain”, but almost as if saying “NO! I don't want to go.” The rather slightly “odd” aspect, but, as I say, only “slightly” odd, because I didn't expect any-thing other, Jackie just went on with what she'd come into the kitchen to do, as if she hadn't noticed me there, on the floor or that she some-how expected me to be there.
Well, I laid there, on the floor, for a while, Jackie went about her business... she was in her pyjamas and house-coat, and was headed to the loo to brush teeth and prepare to go to bed, and I decided that I was up and awake and wasn't about to go back to sleep any time soon so I may as well just get up and start to head back home (NR). I wondered where Yonah had gotten to and thought of how to get him so that we could leave when Jackie came over, as I sat up, and said that she wanted to know how to pick Yonah up with-out hurting him. I said he'd come along when he wanted to and not to bother with or worry about it of him. I told her, more as an assurance of some kind, that I'd been to (some-one's) house, just to make it clear that I didn't NOT go there. Who-ever it was, it was important that I'd visited them whilst in VT. But then... I added, IN ALL HONESTY, BECAUSE IT WAS TRUE:
“But I have to tell you... I don't know HOW I got here. I have absolutely NO idea at all.”
And I truly didn't. I couldn't recall leaving the house, nor the drive. I had no idea WHY I'd gone to VT. None of it. Nothing existed in my memory before driving into her drive, other than the vague stop-by that I'd made en route.
She replied: “That's OK. We'll check the truck in the morning.” as if to say “We'll check to see if there's any damages.” But other-wise, it didn't phase her, though it caused me some concern.
I went and looked out the back door and noticed her truck in the yard and could see only a small area of the front of mine, parked, by the phone shed. Then, turned back into the house to look for Yonah to get ready to leave. Yes, it was about 22.00 or 23.00 but I was awake and wanted to get out of that house. I felt uncomfortable having just arrived and walked-in after being away for... understood... years.
AS I came back into the kitchen, I noticed a Siamese cat, with a rather “deformed” head and face, walking about. It was wearing a “sweater” of some sort and instead of “meowing”, it almost “chanted” some sort of Indian (India) tune. I was quite fascinated by the little one. Jackie said it was “retarded”, as if she was disgusted with it. “Look at that head and face! Who knows WHAT they did to it!” she said, repulsed by the cat. I found her comment and such to be expected of her and was angered by the fact that she'd taken the poor thing in in the first place and wondered WHY she'd done so, but figured that it, like so much else, was for “appearance” of some sort.
As we stood there, she complaining about the little cat, me, trying to figure out how to get Yonah, I look across the room and saw Mimou! But I was a bit hurt because he wouldn't come to me and I some-how understood that Jackie had scolded him in an effort to make him NOT want to come near me... and just then, I noticed that Hallie wasn't any-where to be seen in the house! SURELY, if she were there, she'd come to see me, but I hadn't seen even a sign of her any-where and I started to wonder if she'd died, and if so, of what cause, and I worried about her, and Mimou, and the little one in the sweater and as the anxieties intensified....
I woke... and my left foot was in a contraction! and I had to get to the loo. I got up, arranged the pillows on the futon SO THAT THEY WOULDN'T SLIDE OFF... and went to the loo.
The clock in the loo read 0.54. I'd been asleep for almost 2 hours... So I had a pee, sat at the kitchen table, jotted a note about the dream and decided that, to be safe and allow Yonah a night's sleep, I'd “nap” on my bed, and so, that's where I went... until the alarms sounded this morning, I ignored them and got up and on the roll at about 6.50 or so... - (On Thu.14.Oct: 7.20 By end of day, yesterday, as has been “end of days” of late, I was tired, exhausted, BUT ***** ELATED ***** because of our ANNIVERSARY, and, by end of day, just bloody pissed... and exhausted from being bloody pissed during the day so... IT'S CATCH-UP TIME AGAIN!)
OH BUT THE DAY BEGAN WITH... THOROUGH HOUSE-KEEPING CHEZ M. YONAH TAUBE !!! INDEED !!! THE SUN BROKE THROUGH, THERE WAS A ***** CALL *****, WHICH HAS BEEN A LONG-TIME SILENT, SINCE THE MOULTING, THOUGH IT'S A BIT “SOFTER” THESE DAYS AND I'M HOPING YONAH IS ALRIGHT... AND NOT SUFFERING AT ALL. AND SO, I GOT RIGHT AT IT! EVERYTHING, INCLUDING A THOROUGH FLUSH OF THE TUBING AND PUMP! BOILED THE ROCKS. SCRUBBED THE POOL! THE ONLY THING I DIDN'T DO WAS REPLACE THE SAND, BUT I WENT THROUGH ALL THAT TO MAKE SURE IT'S CLEAN! AND ADDED GRIT TO IT. TREES OUT, TREES IN. HIS HOUSE IS DELIGHTFULLY TIDY AND CLEAN... ***** HAPPY ANNIVERSARY ***** !!! HOW I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE I COULD DO FOR HIM! HOW I WISH I KNEW WHAT TO DO FOR HIM! BUT I DO MY BEST... AND I KEEP THINKING OF LITTLE EXTRAS I CAN GIVE TO HIM. (As Rita told Vivian: “He treats that bird better than the parents of the most spoiled child you've ever met.” AH, BUT IN MY HEART, NOTHING IS “ENOUGH” AND “TOO MUCH” IS IMPOSSIBLE! THAT'S MY GUY! MY HEART-BEAT!)
And weather-wise, for the most part, it was a GLORIOUS sort of day, warm, sunny, delightful! - Ms. Spore came by, I don't know why but... it was sitting on the back gallery at one point when I'd stepped out and we “chatted”, as I do. (I was pissed when I saw the car, parked in the drive... waiting for the fucking cigarette smoke to come wafting through... but as we were “engaged in chat” it/she actually got up, went to the drive to have a smoke! Sure... because I was standing right there. They're so “typical”. But one thing I did learn today... which is mostly why I continue communicating... to “learn” about them: Ms. Spore has parakeets and is quite knowledgeable about the “good, bad, &c.” of things that can and can't be given to birds. And she even has one of those “pet watering stations” in the Little Ones' house for their drinking and bathing water! So she's “aware” and actually cares for and about them! OK... THAT made me less “disgusted”. As long as there's a heart that cares for/about Little Ones... It's a “plus” on that side of the “score card”. We'll tolerate some of the rest.) - Sadly though, it was a day of “distractions” and Yonah and I didn't have the ENTIRE day together. But then, for the most part, he didn't seem to want to be so “together”. But that was OK. I understand. He IS still going through the moulting, as I can see from the little “white, waxy” things that are still falling and there's one or two yet, on him. I did my best to spend as much time with him as possible though. I want him to know that, no matter what... HE'S MY GUY... AND I LOVE HIM! - A quick note here: In a subsequent chat with Ms. VTrash, Dan came into the talk and SHE tells me that HE stopped to talk with her this morning, “for a half and hour” and in that talk HE REFERRED TO MIKE AS HIS “WIFE”? I'll HAVE to MUST inquire, with Dan, about this. I don't, some-how, see him as the “wife-calling” sort and, though I never met Mike... well... the one who did “car restorations”? Hey! Who am I to... but I'd still like to know... I wonder if Dan has any idea that “we're cut from the same fabric”... to put it in such a fashion. Oh... “LOL”... as they say these days. Anyway... A topic for our next schmooze. - OK...
HERE'S A LITTLE KICK IN THE THROAT AND NUTS... ALL DAY I'D BEEN LOOKING SO FORWARD TO YONAH'S FOOD ARRIVING, BEING ABLE TO *GIVE* SOMETHING... ON OUR ANNIVERSARY !!! I THOUGHT IT WAS COMING VIA UPS! AH... BUT... AT ABOUT 11.30 OR NOON OR SUCH, AFTER THE PEE-OH HAD CLOSED, ANYWAY, I GO TO THE BOX TO CHECK FOR TODAY'S POST AND, IN THERE... A BLOODY-FUCKING YELLOW CARD !!! THE MISERABLE QUNT (ROBIN) HAD FILLED THE 4 “PARCEL BOXES” FOR OTHER FOLKS AND *I* GOT THE YELLOW CARD! I MEAN... TRULY... WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THAT ABOUT? YONAH'S FOOD ARRIVED TODAY !!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR IT... AND... I'M RIGHT HERE, IN THE SAME BUILDING! SHE SHITS IN MY BLOODY LIVING-ROOM AND BANGS ABOUT ON MY WALL !!! SHE HAS TO WALK ON, WHAT'S TECHNICALLY, *MY* FRONT PORCH TO GET TO HER FUCKING DOOR! SHE WALKS RIGHT PAST MY FUCKING LIVING-ROOM WINDOWS !!! AND *I* GET THE BLOODY YELLOW CARD TO COME FETCH MY PARCELS? OH... MY HEAD SPUN, BLOOD BOILED, GUT KNOTTED, STOMACH CHURNED !!! AND WHEN I RECALL STOPPING BY AND BEING CONSIDERATE ABOUT NEEDING MONEY ORDERS AND SUCH, TELLING HER TO JUST KNOCK ON THE WALL WHEN SHE WAS LESS-BUSY !!!! AH... NO GOOD DEED GOES UN-PUNISHED !!! I WAS IN A RIP-ROAR! (still am, as I type this the next morning) OK... *MAYBE* I CAN GIVE BENEFIT OF: SHE DIDN'T PUT NAME AND ADDRESS TOGETHER. (THE LABEL BETTER NOT READ “6690” OR... WELL... I'M CONSIDERING TAKING A PHOTO OF THE HOUSE AND POSTING SHIT TO WHERE-EVER I CAN ON-LINE... ANYWAY...) SHE'S “NEW” TO HERE, “NEW” TO THE “SERVICE”, ISN'T PERMANENTLY ASSIGNED TO THE OFFICE SO HAS NO VESTED INTEREST IN LEARNING THE HAMLET, PEOPLE, &c. BUT, WE'VE TALKED, ON THE FRONT PORCH! NAME, FACE, LOCATION... AS I SAY... I WANT TO SEE HOW THE LABEL IS ADDRESSED BEFORE THROWING A BLOODY SHIT-FIT (again). *** AND MEANWHILE *** I CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER ABOUT ***** MICE ***** IN THAT SHIT-BOX NEXT-DOOR! MICE! AND BAGS AND BOXES OF SEED THAT I HAPPEN TO *KNOW*, FOR A FACT, THAT THEY'RE PARTICULARLY FOND OF !!! NOW, WHAT GOES THROUGH MY MIND IS PACKING BOXES CHEWED, HOLES IN THE BAGS OF FOOD, AND ME HAVING TO PUT UP WITH THE BULL-SHIT OF HAVING THE GOOD REPLACED! NOT TO MENTION, LEARNING OF THE INFESTATION (if any) OVER THERE! NO... NOT A “HAPPY MOMENT” OF A DAY! WELL... AS IT ROLLED, I GOT ON-LINE WITH “Petco” AND “CHATTED” WITH A “RICKY” WHO TYPED WITH AN ACCENT THICKER THAN TAR, AND WAS TYPICALLY “CONCERNED” AND “APOLOGETIC” AND ALL THAT SHIT! I TOLD HIM THAT PETCO HAS LOST A CUSTOMER, THAT THEY SHOULD BE INFORMED OF THE NONSENSE OF THE USPS AND STOP USING THAT AS THEIR SHIPPERS. “I understand and wish there was more I could do...” OH... NEVER-FUCKING-MIND! THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO MAKE IT ANY BETTER... IT'S TOO FUCKING LATE! SO LET'S SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT TOMORROW! FUCKING SHIT! - AND MEANWHILE, THE ONLY THING I CAN'T SEEM TO GET FROM ANY PLACE OTHER THAT PETCO IS THE “HEALTHY SELECT” MIX... WHICH NOW... I'M LOOKING TO REPLACE... IT IT'S A PETCO EXCLUSIVE! THANKFULLY, YONAH HAS “AN ACCOUNT” WITH “CHEWY” AND THEY HAVE ALL THE REST OF THE FOODS. (I just have to make sure they don't ship USPS... A “chat” to follow-up there! To be sure.) And tomorrow will be “interesting” to see WHY *I* got the fucking yellow card... I'm expecting bull-shit... let's hope she doesn't dare...
OK THEN... Eventually, the sun-shine passed and at about 16.00, the rains arrived, turning this 13 October similar to last year's 13 October. THANKFULLY though, it didn't get cold... (that's coming on the week-end). And by then... it was time for me to throw “meal” together. I'd gotten almost nothing accomplished with the day and didn't spend NEARLY ENOUGH time with Yonah... but where that's concerned... I NEVER spend enough time with Yonah. And... the rains came and stopped... as the day closed. -
BUT THE DAY DID HAVE A LATE-EVENT THAT HAD ME LAUGHING SO MUCH !!! AFTER MEAL, AS I WAS GETTING READY FOR “EVENING ROUTINE” FOR YONAH, HE APPEARED TO BE “PLAYFUL”, TO A POINT. SO I “DUCKED IN” TO HIS HOUSE AND WE HAD A BIT OF A “CHASE” ABOUT... AND HE HOPPED TO MY HAND AND RAN... FULL-ON... UP MY ARM AND TO MY SHOULDER! AND WHEN HE GOT TO MY SHOULDER, HE STOOD THERE AND WHEN I GLANCED TOWARD HIM, HIS EXPRESSION WAS ALMOST AS IF “WHAT HAPPENED HERE? HOW'D I GET HERE?” I LAUGHED SO! AND TOLD HIM HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM! IT WAS SO PRECIOUS! AND WE HAD A WALK ABOUT THE HOUSE FOR A WHILE... AND I GOT “FACE-SNUGGLES”. HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE “HANDLED”, BUT THE FACE-SNUGGLES ARE OK! AND... TONIGHT, BEFORE TUCK-IN... “SMOOCHES” !!! SO... ***** INDEED... HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US ***** I still can't believe it... A YEAR! WE'VE MADE IT THROUGH A YEAR ! MY LITTLE GUY AND ME ! When I think back... how HEAVY my heart and soul were last year, wondering. And through the Winter, watching and wondering... and how alone and useless I felt. And today... HERE WE ARE! STILL TOGETHER ! AND YONAH'S DOING WELL !!! NO MATTER WHAT THE BULL-SHIT OF THE DAY... THE WEEK, MONTH, YEAR, YEARS.... HERE WE ARE !!! AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERS... REALLY !!! HERE'S TO MORE YEARS... so long as I am here to provide ALL-POSSIBLE for him. After that? I don't even ponder.
Well then... Let's hope his food is in perfect order tomorrow. His blinds are due to be delivered tomorrow and let's see how that goes and whether or not I have time to get them installed before “night”. (I don't give a shit about making noise... other than, I won't disturb Yonah when it's time for HIS sleep... We shall see... I don't expect “kindness” from life anyway.) - 21.44 I've had more of this day... Yonah's sleeping. I've watched QI... Good night world! And let's have NO bull-shit tomorrow... OK? Shall we? - I was considering “Yonah's futon” tonight but my back and legs are already not feeling... well ... so no... If I'm to be up and down through the night... I won't ruin Yonah's night... Oh well... At least we had today together... MY LOVE! MY GUY!

Thu.14.Oct: 6.50 First coffee. Breakfast in the yard. Flag up. Dressed. Aggravated. Annoyed. Pissed-off. GRAND! FUCK! And through the night, last night, WITH and with-out contractions, up EVERY TWO HOURS WITH THE “DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT”! So let's add “fatigued”. - 8.19 JUST got caught-up with all this previous! I'd had “notes” back to Tuesday! Irresponsible! It's time to check on Yonah... it's been quiet in there. - 9.37 It was about 8.15 when I went in to check on Yonah... he was awake... and... again, sadly, staring at his reflection in the little mirror. “Company”? I just don't “know”... I just don't “know”. And so, morning routine was completed. BUT THIS MORNING... I GOT THE “BECKON” FOR SCHMOOZES AND KISSES! AND HE DIDN'T DODGE THEM! (And, as I type, he's having breakfast! YAY!) AND... HIS FOOD IS NOW IN THE HOUSE! AND IT WAS IN PERFECT CONDITION! AND NOW, HE HAS PLENTY OF “HEALTHY SELECT” (which, I find, sadly, is produced by “PetCo”.) BUT the “White Windmill Pure” is sold by CHEWY so THAT'S GREAT! GOOD FOOD... AND PLENTY OF IT FOR HIM! HE'LL EAT VERY WELL! INDEED! GOOD FOOD. FRESH WATER. A WARM, SAFE PLACE IN WHICH TO FLY ABOUT AND GET REST (especially after the blinds get installed). AND LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! MY GUY! - And Crystal was quite polite with me. She's in the office this morning. Oh well. At least she was civil. (She must have forgotten herself.) What-ever. - And I've DOUSED the door-latch on the truck with WD40 this morning. - And the sun is coming through the morning mist. It's warm today. THANK YOU! (The week-end is going to be COLD come the nights and the warm nights are, for all intent and purpose... GONE! We have some “chilly nights” ahead... RADIATORS! - And as a note: Peter D. is across the road at the Bradys'. Gee... I have to wonder about that. (I doubt it means anything “good” where I'm concerned. But, I don't care any more, about “opinions” of me around here... if I'm involved with opinions at all.) - I have to get into town again, today. I DREAD that! - But more important... I have Yonah's video to complete and post and these Journal pages to post to servers. Things to do. I'm just relieved that Yonah's food is here. Now... to wait for the blinds. - Pathetically, I'm quite tired again. But then, after last night, it's to be expected. - Oh charming... “Peter” is parked out front now... Zeke is barking. But then... Crystal's here so... little Pocketpickle will be malingering. Moron. - Never mind... on with the day. - Yonah and I are together. Nothing else matters... - 14.25 BLINDS ARRIVED WHILST I WAS SNOOZING! WRONG SIZE. TOO SMALL! CAN'T ARRANGE FOR A FUCKING RETURN! A PHONE CALL! THREE “CUSTOMER SERVICES” WHO DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH! I ARRANGED THE RETURN. THEY CANCELLED! MADE IT THAT I HAVE TO GO TO THE STORE! OH... IF THE TRUCK HAD BRAKES... IF IT'S NOT SETTLED BY THE TIME I HAVE BRAKES... OH... THE SHIT IS GOING TO HIT THE CEILINGS! - 23.56 YES, IT'S BLOODY-FUCKING 23.56! AND I'M SITTING AT THE KITCHEN TABLE, LET LEG IS IN A “SEMI-SPASM”, AND MY MIND IS REELING FROM THE WALMART BULL-SHIT! THE FUCKING STREET LIGHT IS GLARING INTO MY BED-ROOM AND IN YONAH'S ROOM AND I CAN'T GET MY MIND TO SHUT DOWN! ALMOST 60$ HANGING IN THE ACCOUNT OF WALMART AND ME, I'M TRYING TO FIGURE A WAY TO GET TO PLATTSBURGH TO GET MY MONEY BACK OR TO WANGLE A RETURN VIA FEDEX! OR, SINCE THEY TAKE THE USPS, THAT WAY! I'M EXHAUSTED AND ON THE VERGE OF BURN-OUT AT THE MOMENT AND READY TO MURDER... IF I HAD THE ENERGY. SO HERE I SIT... CATCHING-UP ON JOURNALS AND THINKING IN TERMS OF PASSING-OUT FROM ABSOLUTE EXHAUSTION AT SOME POINT. ADD TO THAT, RICHIE'S ATTITUDE THE LAST TIME I WAS THERE TO INQUIRE ABOUT THE BRAKES AND PAYING FOR THAT JOB AS WELL! AND ON SATURDAY NIGHT... 8°! AND NO MORE DOUBLE-DIGIT NIGHTS TO COME! HEATING OIL IS UP 53% SO THE 750$ HEAP FROM LAST YEAR WILL HAVE TO BE AT LEAST 1012$ FOR THE SAME COVERAGE AND I KNOW WE WON'T GET THAT! AND THE MIND WON'T STOP... IT JUST WON'T STOP! SO... - AS I SAY, THE WAY WALMART “SETTLED” THE RETURN WAS TO SEND ME A “BAR CODE” THAT I HAVE TO BRING TO A STORE! I'M FUCKING RIPPED WITH FUCKING RAGE RIGHT NOW... I *WAS* IN BED ALMOST 2 HOURS AGO TOO! I'D SIGNED-OFF ON THE DAY AFTER 2 EPISODES OF “QI” AT 21.56! FUCK! - Let me just fill in today and move along... I have Yonah's Journal as well... and maybe I'll get that video done tonight... which is already tomorrow... 0.04 - Well then... An e-mail came this evening. Yonah's mirror and the 2 new trays should be here on Saturday. That would be... well... I wanted them for yesterday but... Amazon... gee... go figure. All in line with the disaster that is “these days”. At least he'll have his mirror. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the trays though. He doesn't seem too thrilled with or about the pine needles and there are MANY of those. But I'm sure we'll find something to do with them.
THE GREATEST PART OF THIS DAY IS... YONAH'S COO'ING AGAIN! SEVERAL TIMES TODAY! IT'S SO WONDERFUL TO HEAR HIM AGAIN! HE STILL DOESN'T SOUND LIKE HE USED TO, I'M HOPING IT'S BECAUSE HE'S STILL GETTING OVER THE MOULTING. (I'LL HAVE TO CHECK ABOUT A VET NOW TOO... I'LL GET THE BRAKES DONE AND HOPE THERE'S MONEY... OH... NEVER MIND “HOPE”... THERE *WILL* BE MONEY, TO GET HIM TO THE VET... JUST TO MAKE SURE HE'S OK! I OWE HIM THAT MUCH, ALONG WITH SO VERY MUCH MORE. MY PRECIOUS LITTLE JOY! HE'S SAFE IN HIS HOUSE NOW, HIS DOOR IS CLOSED AND RADIATOR ON. (WE'LL HAVE TO CRANK THAT, COME THE WEEK-END... PRECIOUS LITTLE GUY! AND HE'S BACK TO GETTING SMOOCHES! WE HAD SEVERAL SMOOCHES TODAY AND HE DIDN'T BACK AWAY! AND TOO... WE TOOK A STROLL AGAIN, THIS EVENING, ROUND THE HOUSE AND NUZZLED. OH... HE'S MAKING A COME-BACK AND I HOPE IT WON'T BE MUCH LONGER AND HE'LL BE SPRITELY AND HIS “OLD” SELF AGAIN! - OH, AND THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE ON THE “DOVE FORUM” WHO ARE QUITE KIND ABOUT YONAH'S SITE. AND I'M OFFERING HELP TO A GAL SOME-WHERE IN THE WORLD... (WHO PAYS HER VET IN EUROS SO...). SHE'S A MARVEL! SHE'S TAKEN AN INJURED PIGEON TO THE VET, PAID THE 280 EUROS FOR X-RAYS AND A SPLINT AND SUCH FOR THE LITTLE ONE. AND SHE'S IN THE SAME SITUATION THAT I WAS IN WITH YONAH... NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO NEXT, AND GETTING LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT FROM THE VET. THE PIGEON'S LEG IS BROKEN IN 2 PLACES. THE VET PUT A SPLINT ON, SAID IT HAD TO STAY 2 WEEKS BUT THAT THE LEG WILL PROBABLY HAVE TO BE AMPUTATED! WELL... OF COURSE... MORE MONEY AND JUST “CUT IT OFF”. I REMEMBER HOW I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT WITH YONAH AND THANKFULLY I DIDN'T. ANYWAY... IT'S NICE TO BE ABLE TO OFFER SOME SUPPORT... AND YONAH'S SITE IS A BIT OF A HIT... FOR THOSE OF US WHO LOVE THESE LITTLE ONES. THAT GAL'S GIVEN ME “HOPE” IN HUMANITY. IT'S COMFORTING TO KNOW THERE ARE OTHERS WHO ARE STILL CAPABLE OF SUCH LOVE AND KINDNESS.
Well... closing this day and opening....

Fri.15.Oct: 0.12 I want something... a tea... a “Nighty Night” tea... something, but I don't want anything... and I don't want anything to help me sleep, at this hour. By the time it would kick in, it'll be about 1.00 or 2.00 and I'll be groggy, and I have to put-up with Richie... It's one of those times when I feel “trapped”. Walmart. Richie... this fucking country... this fucking world! Oh... well... I'm going to work on Yonah's Journal now... and see where that leads me... I NEED something brighter. - And then I'll post to the servers and get on with Yonah's “Anniversary” video and page. And we'll see where we are from there. - 0.52 Journals up-dated on the servers... rolling along... Still not ready to get to bed... this is going to be a Hellish day! - 2.32 I poured a hot water... don't want it. Got the Journals up. Got the letter about the street light ready to print. Tried to get the video together but it came out almost 10 minutes long so I have to re-re-re-edit... but... I'm going to try for a nap... Not expecting one... but I'm not tired... just feeling that “off” feeling of fatigue. - 7.45 and the full morning routines are done. I got up and out of bed at 7.05 and so, am feeling the “hammer” (YONAH IS COO'ING !!! SOFTLY. RASPISHLY. BUT COO'ING!) of a grave lack of proper sleep. And I'm going to try to get those shades back... via USPS this morning. (I'm having that hot flash/head-ache now... and I'll be rolling to Richie and into town shortly, it's about to be “quite the day”.) - 16.55 YONAH'S VIDEO IS ON THE SERVER... LIVE... LAUNCHED !!! AND HE'S BEEN COO'ING AND AFFECTIONATE AGAIN TODAY !!! OH MY HEART !!! - And the “refund” from Walmart for the FULL COST, has been “issued”... taking up to 10 days to appear... we shall see. - Spoke with Ev today... having her “Pasta Ricotta” tonight! - 21.03 I should be dead-out asleep by now, and intended so to be but... my intentions... are shit. - Still, I'm AMAZED at how much I actually got accomplished with this day, half-fucking-dead and dead-fucking-exhausted!
At 10.20, THE BLINDS WENT BACK TO WALMARDE! I “chatted”, politely, with Customer Dis-service and the guy put through the label, I printed the label and TWO copies of the original shipment/order and printed those with “Item 1 of 2” and “Item 2 of 2” and taped one to each box, then took a photo of them in the shipping box, packed them, GLUED AND TAPED the shipping label on and brought it to “Crystal”, next-door. She SCANNED AND... I've CONFIRMED THE SCAN ON-LINE! - LATER ON, THIS AFTER-NOON... GOT A “TEXT” ON THE 40517 CONFIRMING THE “REFUND” IS PROCESSED AND SHOULD POST BACK TO MY ACCOUNT IN 10 BIZ DAYS! (WE SHALL SEE!) I MOST SERIOUSLY DOUBT that the “process” is any farther along than “The shit-sack's sent an empty box.” sort of bull. But... we shall see. I STILL NEED SOMETHING ON YONAH'S WINDOWS !!! AND I STILL NEED TO GET THOSE LETTERS PRINTED AND SENT! THE SOONER THE LETTERS, THE BETTER THE... OH FUCK ME! - In other news... I GOT THE BOOKS CAUGHT-UP AGAIN, AT LONG LAST... AND THAT MEANS MORE TIME WITH YONAH! In fact, MOST of the day passed... WITH YONAH! *** AND HE'S BEEN COO'ING AND KISSING AND SUCH ALL DAY AND HIS VOICE IS GETTING BETTER. SO TOO HIS MOOD! (And, so too, MY mood, to be certain. HIS good mood is MY good mood!)*** - We had another warm day, as well... a bit of sun, a bit of rain, but thankfully... warmth. (Though I KNOW these days are coming to an end and... well... as I count on the fingers, the “7 months” will commence, in shortest order!) - I rang Richie today (since I don't want to take the truck on the road until NECESSARY, and I really just don't want to “drop in”... It's one thing to “hear” the almost-sarcasm, it's another to see the facial expressions that go with it). THE TRUCK GOES IN NEXT THURSDAY FOR THE BRAKE! (“You'll have to leave it for the day.” I wonder what the fuck is going on with that place these days... no Ben, no Gary... Hmmm... suspicious. And Richie sounds as if he's “bothered” by business. Oh... as long as he fixes and I can drive... IF I can ever afford gas again. “We'll put you down for 10.00.” Okie-dokie... I'll be there before then... since I'll be walking back to the shit-box and then walking over to fetch the truck. I'm just not too thrilled about this “You'll have to leave it for the day.” Oh welll... If I'll “have to”, I shall do.) - AND... moving along... **** WORKED ON YONAH'S VIDEO WITH HIM TODAY AND 6MINUTES 45SECONDS WITH MUSIC AND IT'S NOW THE “HOME” PAGE! THE VIDEO IS UP, LAUNCHED, RUNNING!!! YAY! OUR ANNIVERSARY KEEPS GOING!***** There's even the options of “Full Screen” and “Skip Video”! OO! SO “professional”... SO “old school” site-building. So what? SO... Yonah's on the Internet! SO THERE! - Rang Ev this after-noon, mostly to get the ingredients and recipe for that “ricotta pasta” dish she makes. It was a nice chat, but, interestingly, all of a sudden, she “thanked me for calling”, said she's glad she could give me the recipe, enjoy it when you have it... and cut the chat. I wonder... But then, maybe she had some-one at the house or what-ever. But... yes, this evening, I made it... SADLY the “ricoctta” I got at Tops is UTTER AND COMPLETE SHIT! GELLED! ALL SORTS OF “GUMS” IN IT, AND NO CHUNKS. AND A NASTY TASTE. BUT... I HAD IT. And now I know to NEVER buy THAT ricotta again! There's a half container waiting to be disposed of now... and I wouldn't even put it out for the “yard-critters”! It's “irredeemable”! Even for ME! (If it lasts in the fridge, I could maybe bake with it? But with all the different “gums” listed... Patch a wall? Patch a tyre?) - THEN... YONAH'S NEW MIRROR ARRIVED THIS EVENING AND I “INSTALLED” IT. NOT SURE HOW HE FEELS ABOUT IT BUT I HAVE TO “ADJUST” THE LOCATION. It's just a bit too high. But it's there! It's in! Now, to wait for the new trays to arrive! (This “Anniversary shopping”... Imagine? We'll have a year of “Anniversary Shopping” and the next thing will be the NEXT “Anniversary Shopping”... I can hope.) - I was late, getting Yonah tucked-in tonight but he didn't really seem to mind. I remember last year, not having ANY idea how late or early to turn off the lights and such for him. But, it's been a year and... I OFTEN wonder if he remembers last Autumn... He's SO BRILLIANT in SO MANY ways... I wonder if he has any recollection of then. Anyway, we got the waters changed, his house tidied, dimmed the lights... closed the curtains (for all the good that does) and... brought another day to another evening to another night. -
THE LETTRES ABOUT THAT STREET-LIGHT WENT INTO THE BLUE POST BOX TONIGHT! LET THE LIGHT WAR COMMENCE! I'VE ABSOLUTELY NO DOUBT THAT THIS IS GOING TO GET TO THE MASS-HOLE AND THAT THE “THREATENING CALLS” OF “STOP POLICING THE TOWN!” WILL COME! AH... PERHAPS I MIGHT DROP A BIT OF A HINT ABOUT “TWO YEARS OF NO STOVE” AND A FRIDGE THAT *SOMETIMES* CHILLS *SOMETIMES* FREEZES *ALWAYS* RUNS. WHAT-EVER. ANYWAY... IT'S AS I RECALL AND POST AND SAY:
YOU'RE ABUSED ONLY TO THE EXTENT YOU ALLOW... I'M AT THE END OF THE “ALLOW”. FUKKEM! FUKKEMALL!
And now... I'm TIRED! Took the 20.00 pills shortly after 20.00 with a “tart”. I'm caught-up with Yonah's Journal. I'm going to have a snack now... and get to bed and hopefully to sleep. At least tonight... NO WORRIES! And the “Light War” is declared! (I've NO doubt I'm going to hear some pretty thick bull-shit about this from the “Fucking Landlord” but... as I say... WAR! Washington, local... media, news... FUKKEMALL! ) The blinds are in the post and out of the house. The truck has an appointment with the “MD”... No threats of “freezing” tonight. We're good. - 22.12 off to bed directly. And... I note... because of last night's shit-show where sleep was concerned... I didn't have a shit all day today! No wonder I feel like shit. Off to bed. Tomorrow night is going to be HELL! 8° and the end of pleasantries! O'FUK... O'Well.

Sat.16.Oct: Up at 7.30! TIRED! As has become usual. - 8.22 all morning routines done and I got to sit to get to internet and such, but it was a MUCH later hour than I'd expected. Still, I have to say that I appreciate the fact that I got to sleep through the night... for the most part. “Sleep” is almost completely useless these days, with all this street-light bull-shit. But, if I don't have a “lie-down” through the night, well... the results are... Anyway, at least “morning routine” is done... from Yonah to the flocks in the yard. Now... to see what can be salvaged of the rest of this day. - 14.30 Got an e-mail from Soc.Sec. telling me that I can find out what my new “rate” will be... but we have to wait until DECEMBER... BUT BUT BUT... AS IS TYPICAL OF THOSE THIEVING FUKTARDZ, THEY NOTED “5,9% INCREASE. As if it's a bloody secret? They TRULY ARE insulting shits. As if I can't figure my own “new rate”, as they call it. Those of us on Soc.Sec. Retirement are the precious few left on this bloody waste-land called a “planet” who LEARNT basic maths. KRISTE! Sometimes I just WISH I could be with-in arm's length of these shit-sax! Anyway... MY calcs are:
5.9%=1155 (STILL NOT even CLOSE to what we OUGHT to be getting back on the “investment”... THEFT of salary. But I do suppose it's better than a “1%” or less and certainly better than NOTHING... and they've pulled THAT shit already in years gone by! BUT I'm almost SURE it won't be of any ACTUAL increase because SOMETHING is going to be PULLED from it and I'll bet its' the 148 Medicare...at the very least. AND only the Heavens know what else! And FS will be decreased, Medicaid will be dropped... Oh, I won't get ANYTHING even NEAR that 1155! But... the 5,9% has been confirmed so... we can only wait. - 21.44 Well! At the end of the day... I MANAGED TO SPEND THE DAY WITH YONAH! I worked on getting his Journal to-date, and put photos and such in where they ought to be. Ah... it's a “Beeyoodiful” thing! (This Journal, how-ever, is a mess and there are notes all over the place and I have to get busy with catching this one up... It's just that, by end of day, I'm just so DAMNED TIRED! But... the good in it is that I get to be in Yonah's room, with him for the time it takes me to “make good” and that's perfectly fine, as far as I'm concerned. So... - I'VE ORDERED THE BLINDS AGAIN! IT'S COMING OUT OF THE LOAN (which pisses me off tremendously but... ). I FIGURE THAT, THE SOONER I GET TO ORDERING THEM, THE SOONER WE'LL HAVE THEM AND THE SOONER YONAH AND I WILL BE ABLE TO GET PROPER REST AT NIGHT AGAIN! SO... ORDERED FOR YONAH'S ROOM AND THE BED-ROOM. OH... LET'S SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES TO GET THEM... AND WHETHER OR NOT I GET A NICE E-MAIL SAYING “YOU'RE A SHIT AND WE'RE NOT DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU EVER AGAIN.” Should be interesting. And if the blinds don't fit this time round... I'll fucking re-build the fucking windows! I don't care any more. - MEAN-while... I see... 8° tonight... 11° for the average Highs to come. But I've had both radiators on all day and the house is quite WARM now... SHOCKINGLY WARM! (Tomorrow morning will be most telling. Still, 8° isn't -20°.... and I HOPE we WON'T be getting any of THAT ... until oil comes... IF we get ANY of that this year... OH! If we don't this is going to be... well, quite plainly... MURDER! But, Stalin did it. I see no reason why this “American Regime” can't or won't. Fun times... I'll BUILD a goddamn fire place and burn... effigies!) - I'm down too 2 smokes until tomorrow... by sun-set, it was wet, rainy and I didn't want to take the risk. - So, for the day anyway, I ordered the blinds because they'll come on the 25th. The truck goes in on the 21st (HOPEFULLY IT WON'T COST ANY MORE THAN 1K$ BECAUSE I TOOK THE BLINDS OUT OF THE LOAN!) and if I went to Plattsburgh (where the Walmarde site claims they have them) I KNOW, for a fact, no doubt, Plattsburgh has NONE! SO... it's the time, distance, cost of gas... no matter how I shake it... Ordering is better! (Now to see if Walmarde will actually send them... they might be pissed-off at me!) Oh well... - Now... I'm having ice cream, QI and getting to bed. I'll have to roll early tomorrow morning... and slowly! Smokes and maybe market... But definitely smokes. After that? YONAH... and some work around this place with other things that I didn't do today... BUT YONAH'S SITE IS TO-THE--MOMENT! AND THAT is all that matters... to me... really. - OH... I HAVE TO BACK THESE FILES UP TOMORROW TOO! - 23.17 Calling it quits at long last... SO MUCH later than... but... let's see how I sleep tonight, and how shitty I feel... when I get out of bed and hit the day... let's just see...

Sun.17.Oct: 6.59 Imagine this... Coffee made, breakfast served in the yard, flag is up, I'm up and about (not yet dressed)... and in the living-room, the thermostat is reading “75F”, in the loo it's 23°. I'm to see on Météo, 8°/5°. So let's just see how effective these radiators will be... since... we're still at least a whole month away from getting any oil, because I'm NOT going into the loan for any! FUCK THAT! - And so, we greet a Sunday morn.... and in a bit, I'll go in to greet MY LITTLE GUY! - But right now... I have a few days here on this Journal... again... AND I MUST get into town this morning.... in shortly-time! So... onward (Buttercup... There's fuckery to spread!) - 11.02 MADE IT... FAMDOLL AND TOPS! AND BACK! AND STOPPED... IN ALL THE APPROPRIATE PLACES! AND... I'M EXHAUSTED! - 14.41 Took a snooze... for about an hour... I NEEDED THAT! And, I 'm happy to report that Yonah's room is delightfully 25° and the living-room is comfy. I have MORE than enough “mushroom soup” for another “chicken and rice” and I've got MUCH MORE than enough rice... I keep forgetting I have that 15lb bag! But, at least there's food in this house. And Journals are current. And now... I need to get to back-ups! - And then? Then... At least there's just a little bit of “sun-shine” coming in through Yonah's windows. Just in time for sun-set! - AND HE'S COO'ING... at the “birdie in the little mirror”. But he's COO'ing again! YAY! - 15.58 Back-ups are done! Yonah's having a nosh. And... I can't believe it but it's time for me to get to throwing something together for meal! Another day... ZOOM! GONE! BUT, at least there's food in the house for Yonah and me... smokes for a couple of days... Yonah's trays are due tomorrow! WOOHOO! Blinds, a week from tomorrow (oh well). But... it's been a short day and things that needed being done have gotten done. - 20.57 WELL OK THEN! THIS TURNED-OUT TO BE QUITE THE DAY... QUITE THE DAY AND EVENING INDEED! - I DID get Journals caught up. I DID get files backed-up. AND... I DID have to place the Amazon order for the light kit for the living-room, AND another bag of that “Netherlands” mix for Yonah, and another mirror for him... AND A NEW PUMP FOR HIS POOL! When I went to do “evening routine” I noticed it the pump in his pool stopped working, so I tried to see if I could get it running again... nope. THANKFULLY I HAD A BACK-UP! SO... his fountain will be running tomorrow. I ordered another... for another “back-up”. I suppose, for 12$, we get what we pay for, but thankfully, the money for it was available tonight... ***** AND... THE REFUND FROM WALMARDE POSTED TO MY ACCOUNT TODAY TOO ***** SO IT WAS “FATE” STEPPING IN !!! WITH THAT MONEY, I GOT TO ORDER MORE FOOD, ANOTHER MIRROR AND A NEW PUMP FOR YONAH !!! “FATE”... THE GODS ARE WATCHING... SOME-HOW !!! AND I'M GRATEFUL !!! AND THERE'S MORE TO THIS EVENING AND I'M JUST GOING TO “COPY” THE ENTRY FROM YONAH'S JOURNAL HERE... BEFORE SIGNING-OFF TODAY. But before I do, I can't believe how well it all turned-out! Books are current. Journals are current. Accounts are current... OH... AND MY “CREDIT REPORT” FOR THE CREDIT UNION “APP-THINGIE”? EVERY LITTLE “ASPECT” IS NOW... “GREEN” !!! MY PAYMENT HAS BEEN POSTED, THE RECORDS ARE CLEAN! Sadly, the shits at TransUnion raised the “score” a shitty 10 points. “You're 110 points away from 'excellent'!” Yeah? I'm OVER “excellent” with the LARGER agency! DOLTS! But never mind. DONE! (Now, GODS HELP ME... when January rolls around and I have to deal with the new “student loan” bull-shit... I'm beginning to prep for that HELL now... Hey! If there's nothing I can do... there's nothing I can do... and if I have to fight? Well then... As long as Yonah is in my life... BRING IT ON!)
OK... that said, it's already 21.07. I REALLY NEED to shower... SOON! Things were a bit... “a bit” this morning and I can tell I need a shower. But, the bed-linens need washing too so... I'm tired tonight (what else is new?), so tomorrow, I'll get to the linens in the morning and try to get ALL done. (I wish I knew when Mindy will be coming. I want the house in perfect order for her visit... but...) - Oh yes... I DID order from Amazon... and had done so on the NY account before noticing that the Walmarde money had been posted. So I've also moved the refund from the VT account to the NY account (which will happen tomorrow or Tuesday). Hopefully, the transfer will happen before Thursday so there's money in the account when I need to pay Richie. AND I'm hoping Richie will be honest and forth-right and that he'll ONLY FIX THE BRAKE THAT NEEDS REPAIR and NO BULL-SHIT! (I'm wondering if his business isn't dropping some-how... the lot is never as full as it usually is... and the “Summer folks” are leaving or have left. Well... we'll see how it rolls out.) - But for now... let me QUOTE YONAH'S JOURNAL:

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

AH... BUT... THIS EVENING... As the sun set and it was time for “evening routine”... AS I went into his room, I heard him: “HOO! HOO! HOO!” as if some-thing upset him! He does that when he appears frightened, but there was nothing that I could ascertain that would or could have done that. As I spoke to him, as I do, trying to re-assure him, he'd have none of it. He was INCONSOLABLE! It RIPPED my heart! I felt absolutely worthless to him! I felt SO insignificant! He was upset about something and I couldn't see what it was that caused it, and he couldn't be calmed!
I put my hand in, to stroke him, as I often do at these moments, and usually, when I get to stroke him, he calms. BUT NOT TONIGHT! So I leaned my upper body into his house toward him. He was on his “loft”, and as I approached, he hopped across to his “favourite” perch, over his pool AND HE HOPPED ONTO MY SHOULDER !!! AND HE CAME RIGHT UP TO THE SIDE OF MY FACE !!! He continued to “HOO! HOO! HOO! for quite some time, even as I spoke to him. BUT THEN... HE NUZZLED AGAINST MY FACE, AS I TOLD HIM THAT HE WAS SAFE NOW, THAT THERE'S NOTHING IN THIS HOUSE THAT COULD EVER HARM HIM! “I'm right here, my Little Man. I'm right here and you're safe. It's all OK. Honest. I LOVE YOU! And I'll NEVER let ANY-THING EVER hurt you! NEVER again!” I SWEAR, FROM THE CORE OF MY BEING, SOME-HOW, HE UNDERSTOOD! And, I went about tidying his house, as I usually do of an evening, AND ALL THE WHILE, HE “ROOSTED” ON MY SHOULDER ! AND IF I HAPPENED TO BE IN A POSITION WHERE HE WASN'T COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE, HE HOPPED ACROSS MY UPPER BACK TO THE OPPOSITE SHOULDER WHERE HE NUZZLED AGAINST THE OTHER SIDE OF MY FACE. This went on all the while I was cleaning and re-arranging things in his house. And, in short course, he calmed right down and headed to the little “extended” perch he has at the corner closest to the work-table, and, as he perched there, I got to give him “kisses” and “smooches”... and HE PECKED, LOVINGLY, at my face ! WELL !!! YES !!! HE *DOES* UNDERSTAND THAT I'M HERE TO PROTECT HIM AND HE *DOES* UNDERSTAND THAT I MEAN HIM NO HARM AND THAT I'M HERE TO MAKE SURE HE'S SAFE !!! IT'S OBVIOUS THAT HE UNDERSTANDS THIS !!!
When all the tidying and arranging was done, I stepped back from his house and with-out a pause, he headed directly back in, and made him-self comfy on his perch again... ALL WAS CALM AGAIN!
Mean-while, I am SO COMPLETELY STILL IN LITERAL *AWE* !!! WE ARE EACH-OTHER'S “FLOCK”. WE ARE CLOSER “FAMILY” THAN... WELL, ALL THAT THE WORD IMPLIES ! HE ACTUALLY *DOES* TRUST ME !!! AND FEELS SAFE WHEN I'M THERE FOR HIM !!! Now, again, I think of those who refer to these Creations as “simple-minded”, “non-sentient”, incapable of actual thought, understanding, comprehension. And, as always, I'm angered by such utter incompetent ignorance, arrogance, pomposity! It's just intolerable!
But it's part of what makes Yonah Taube my heart-beat, my reason and excuse for waking to another day, for making sure that I take excellent care of me, so that I will ALWAYS be here to give him EXCELLENT CARE!

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

21.25 JOURNALS-ALL... CURRENT to the moment! - Now... to nosh, QI... BED! - 21.28 One item... the Amazon order... I KNOW I changed the payment card from VT to NY, BUT... when, thankfully, I went back to the order to enter it into the books, I noticed that the payment card hadn't changed! THANKFULLY, Amazon doesn't DIVE RIGHT INTO THE CASH! SAVED! But... after all the bull-shit with Walmarde this week-end... OH MY! (Now I REALLY hope the transfer from VT to NY goes through on time AND that I don't come away from Richie with a broader arse-hole!) - Ah... the things... the things... the fucking things!

Mon.18.Oct: 8.14 Up at about 6.20. Breakfast served in the yard. Flag is up. Bed-linens on the line. Towel on the line. Under-items on the rack. Jammie-scrubs on the rods in the shower. Yonah's “morning routine complete. And now... for coffee and morning internet. -
BUT THE *** NEWS *** THIS MORNING: AT 7.15 CAME... *** THE MORNING CALL *** !!! YES !!! THE “MORNING CALL” !!! YONAH !!! “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo-hoo” !!! “THE MORNING CALL” !!! HE'S REALLY COME BACK !!! MY LITTLE MAN... MY LITTLE GUY... MY HEAR AND SOUL... “THE MORNING CALL” !!!
Oh... and this morning, I should believe, Liztoon, PTZ, Press Republican, Congress and Senate should be receiving their missives. THE WAR COMMENCES TODAY! That street-light will be “known”... both far and wide! (And now I await the “threats” from the Mass-hole.) - 12.16 It's been NON-STOP ALL MORNING! Sorting shit in the house, trying to put it “in order”. And all the while, I just don't care about this house. The ONLY part of being here that I “care” about is... of course... YONAH... WHO, BY THE WAY, IS SO MUCH BACK TO “YONAH” TODAY! EVEN TO STANDING IN HIS DOOR FOR SMOOCHES! - And this morning, Gina posted a video of Zoo-shits INJECTING “VACCINES AGAINST THIS COVID SHIT” INTO SKUNKS! I LOST IT ON TWTR! So, any moment now, I'll be silenced. But IT HAD BE PHYSICALLY SICK TO MY STOMACH, MY HEAD AND HEART POUNDED! WHAT FUCKERY! WHAT STUPIDITY! WHAT HORROR! They're probably paedophiles too... attacking the vulnerable. - Anyway... I want a snooze now. I doubt the linens will dry today. There's a breeze but it's chilly out there and grey. But in Yonah's room, the “NatSpec” light is on, he's in his corner by the window and... the day rolls away. - His trays are due today though. - 20.11 THE TRAYS ARRIVED! AND THAT WRAPPED A MOST BEAUTIFUL DAY WITH YONAH! THE WHOLE DAY! And all the lavage is dry, save a t-shirt and the socks! (Now I HAVE to make the bed and MUST TO HAVE TO SHOWER if I'm to sleep in there tonight!). - I got lost in trying to put Yonah's room together today. I REALLY MUST get rid of so many boxes. But the thing is, my “psychosis”... Never Feeling That I'm At Home Any-where, Always Being Prepared To Pack And Move Again. Yes, admittedly, my “life” in that respect, has been completely destroyed and at this juncture, I suppose I'll NEVER get beyond it, no matter what happens, no matter where I am. I suspect I'll die and in what-ever comes after, I'll never feel “secure, at home” there either. And, truth be told, I expect to be TOLD to get out of here because of this fight over the street light. I KNOW I can fight that, on perfectly logical and legal grounds... but then... the “final decision” is in the mouth of a “judge”... and I don't trust ANY of those! Especially not the ones “out here”, out of The City. But, anyway, the boxes get broken-down and stuffed in the alcove in Yonah's room. (And I want them out of there because that's Yonah's room... I foresee them in my bed-room closet, in short order.) - ANYWAY... it was a chilly, grey day with a bit of a drizzle or two, but thankfully, nothing drastic! - Crystal told me that there were reports of SNOW in the higher peaks last night! Tonight's supposed to drop to 4/2°... no precipitation, but, should there be any, I've no doubt... HERE WE GO! - Had another “chat”, though brief, with next-door... until “Mayor” came over so I gave Ms. her bowl back and came back into the house where I remained until... - And Yonah's trays came as I was preparing to sit to meal... so I had meal and IMMEDIATELY, BEFORE WASHING-UP, GOT RIGHT TO THE TRAYS AND SAND AND WASHED HIS POOL AND PUT IN FRESH WATER AND IT REALLY LOOKS DELIGHTFUL! (Photos on his web-site, of course!) - Poor Little Guy! It was “tuck-in time” as I pfutzed about his house. But... by about 19.00, we (I) were finished. I put his “NatSpec” light out and the desk lamp on for about 45 minutes or so, as I worked on his Journal for today and photos of the “new pool set-up”. (All are already posted.) - This evening though, as I was watching the news, something happened with the lap-top. *** THE VIDEO STREAM FROZE! THE SPEAKERS HOWLED! I COULDN'T ADJUST THE VOLUME! HAD A TIME OF TRYING TO SHUT-DOWN! So I left it off, with the “Power” button, as I finished Yonah's work and only after that, powered back up. It took a while to come on, but, it appears to be OK. In fact, I'm “listening” to the music of Yonah's “Home Page Video” as I type, and I DID manage to get ALL of his pages coded and posted. There's something “odd” about the “right click” though. I'm having a time of trying to get the “browser” to open in “Private” because “right click” doesn't seem to want to work. Wouldn't it figure that the lap-top would fuck now? Well, there's no more “shopping” before Friday anyway... (I need tea-lights... for the “heater”!) - We shall see. - But it was a GRAND AND GLORIOUS DAY WITH YONAH! WE HAD KISSES, CUDDLES, PLAY, SMOOCHES AND A STROLL ABOUT THE HOUSE. AND HE'S COO'ING AGAIN, ESPECIALLY AT HIS LITTLE “FRIEND IN THE MIRROR”. IT'S SUCH A WONDERFUL STATE, HAVING HIM BACK AGAIN! AND HE'S LOOKING SO WELL! AND TONIGHT, A “NEW POOL”, A NEW ENVIRONMENT. FRESH WATER. FRESH FOOD. AND HIS RADIATOR IS ON... WE'RE GOING TO BE JUST FINE... AS LONG AS HE'S FINE. - So now... I need to get me together, check my “internet” shit. I've had the 20.00 pills. I NEED TO ORDER MORE VIT.C AGAIN TOO! AND, PROBABLY, NAPROXEN AS WELL... AND VIT.D. OH MY! OH WELL... - But for now, I need to get me together... shower... bed! It's been a day! And tomorrow? Well... we'll deal with that when it's “today”. Other-wise, today was a DELIGHT! Thanks, of course, only to YONAH! - 20.34 Up-Date! Just as I posted the previous to the server....
3° tonight... “CHILL”... BLOODY-FUCKING MINUS ONE!!! OH FUCKING JOLLY!
22.34 Well? I'm out of a “double-scrub” shower, “tea-oiled”, creamed and such and all. It was 21° in the loo when I stepped in... 22° when I stepped out (just now). - I changed Yonah's radiator from the “Med” to the “High” setting. He “hoo'ed” quietly as I was watching QI so I went in to check on him and to turn his heat up. HE'S BACK AT HIS OLD NIGHT-ROOST AND HE CAME OVER TO ME AS I SPOKE TO HIM! JUST LIKE THE “OLD TIMES”! I've been pondering spending the night on his futon but, I've made the bed... fresh linens, imagine that, and I want to see how cold the house might get over-night so as to be prepared for what's to come in the next few weeks. (Especially since I haven't heard from HEAP and I seriously doubt we'll get enough to carry through 100 gallons of oil this year.) Best and really, the only way to do that is to be in the rest of the house... short of on the kitchen floor (the darkest place in the house at night any more). So I'll try and see tonight and adjust things accordingly. I'm thinking I'll probably have to run the furnace for a bit in the morning though. - Tomorrow, I'll make “chicken and rice”... I need more river sand because I used quite a bit on Yonah's new “tray”, so I could, actually, get that, rinse well, and put it in the oven with the chicken... 350° for several hours... cook the chicken, sterilise the sand. Just so long as the sand doesn't take-on the fragrance of the chicken... What-ever. But sand is a definite and too, the chicken... and the chicken is for “eating and heating”, tomorrow's “high”... 13°. - And it's sad, really, horrific too, but I was SO looking forward to getting out of the shower and getting into bed but now that the shower's done and I can get into bed, I don't want to. I don't want to be in that room, though it isn't unbearably cold in there. I don't want to be in that “light”! And, I have the dread fear of getting into bed, FINALLY drifting into sleep and being rudely and suddenly awakened by... CONTRACTIONS! There are REASONS why I dread night and sleep... It's fucking disgusting, really. - Oh... the transfer from VT to NY has “registered” on the NY account to be posted tomorrow! That's rather comforting. - And as I sit here at the kitchen table, in the quiet of the house, typing, I'd SWEAR I SEE SOME LITTLE DARK OBJECT SCURRYING TOWARD YONAH'S DOOR! BUT I'VE “SEEN” THAT BEFORE AS WELL... EITHER THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY EYE(S) OR IT'S JUST THAT I EXPECT TO SEE SOMETHING (MOUSE!) THERE. I haven't seen any indications of mice since I “taped” the whole fucking shit-box up, but... these are cold nights and, well? - Anyway, I'm going to get a nap a try here. There's nothing to read, and nothing that I have in the house that I can think of that I'd like to read... and nothing that I can think of that I'd like to buy to read. Winter's coming and reading will be a “thing to do”... There was one book that Joe had loaned to me, about somebody sabotaging a Nazi camp by sliding down a power-line. I'd like to re-read that but I haven't the slightest idea what the title is or anything else about it. Oh well. - And I have to order tea-lights... from IKEA but theirs are made with soy now... what shit! Still... 4-hour lights, 3,50/100... Friday... after the brakes. - 23.19 Giving up the fight... here we go... “into the night”.

Tue.19.Oct: 7.03 Didn't want to but a contraction forced me up and out of bed with the 6.30 alarm. So I'm up, dressed, coffee, breakfast in the yard, flag up... and I'm ITCHY this morning! Tea-tree oil... head, pit and arm. My right hand itchy too. And I woke out of a dream:
The broad across the road, Mariatte or, what-ever. A rock on a shelf. She went to flip a light switch and there was a spider on the rock, brilliant black-and-white. I wondered if it was venomous. It crawled away. She left the room. I noticed that the rock was covered in those wispy spiders I get in the house here, and then noticed that the blankets on the bed where I was napping were also quite covered in them. And the alarm sounded and I woke.
I'm thinking it was the itching that caused the dream so... I let this one go. - That said, I have to get to the river to get sand to replace what I used yesterday, and some to weight the “tree” for the living-room. There's chicken in the fridge that MUST be cooked (with rice and mushroom soup) today. I want to wash Yonah's futon linens today. And... not sure what else I want/need to accomplish today but I'm sure that I'll think of things... as the day passes back into night. Ah... these short days. - It's not too cold in the house this morning. 20° in the loo but it ain't exactly “warm” in here. But if it did drop to “COLD” last night, at least it's not uncomfortably cold in here. That's good. - And I DO wish the truck work was done so I could decide as to whether or not to spend the rest of the loan on oil for heating. - Anyway... I'd like to go back to bed too. But that's just a “normal morning”. - So on we go, anyway. It's 7.12... time to “do”... I suppose. - Oh, message last night: blinds due on Friday! Tah-dah! Hopefully a week-end of “night-time comfort”? (I wonder).
7.13 “woo-HOO-hoo-hoo”! MY LITTLE GUY'S UP!
9.52... WELL! Oh yes, Yonah was up and about and we got to the “morning routine”... He's looking quite well this morning. And my heart is LIGHT. - And after “morning routine”, I stripped the futon and put the linens in on a soak... BUT... I'd no sooner put them in when... I went back in to Yonah's room to find... THE POOL WAS ALMOST EMPTY, THE PUMP HAD STOPPED... AND THE WATER, OH, THE WATER! I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW (though, this is the second time this has happened) BUT THE WATER WAS IN THE TRAY, IN THE SAND, AND ALL ACROSS THE WHOLE FLOOR OF HIS HOUSE! WELL? OK THEN... THE “THOROUGHNESS” OF A “CLEANING” THAT I DIDN'T DO LAST EVENING WHEN I INSTALLED THE NEW TRAYS, GOT DONE THIS MORNING... I PULLED THE HOUSE APART, WIPED, CLEANED, REPLACED... EVERY BIT (save the sands in the original two trays). I HAD to finish the linens before that, of course, needing the kitchen basins, so that's all on the line (as the skies grey, fuck me). SO NOW... I HAVE to keep a careful watch of the pool... AND, I just peeked in to see Yonah stretching the wings... He took all of the matter in such stride, as if it were just simply “normal and usual”. What a champ! - Ah... then too... this morning, a message from Amazon: trouble with the payment. I used the NY account to pay when I placed the order, but it was the OLD CARD! So I had to change that. Hopefully, it will go through alright. It's all due on Friday and, well, I'd like to have it all settled soon. - I'm now going to check the books, the banques and such. And...? get on with the day. Hopefully it won't rain before I get to the river... I NEED EVEN MORE SAND NOW! AND, I have a batch that needs to go into the oven to dry, as well... the sand that WAS under the pool. - OK. I usually ponder what to fill a day with... No pondering this morning. It's all laid-out for me. - (Meanwhile, on the side: I have a gut-feeling that shit is about to hit the fan because of the street-light. Oh well... keeps the mind running and the blood flowing. They'll be thinking me the “NASTY OLD THING” in due course. Fukkem!) - 16.29 CHATTED WITH GINA !!! UNTIL THE BLOODY PHONE CUT US OFF! BUT... IT WAS AS IF WE'D TALKED ALL ALONG... after she was almost tempted to ring-off, at the start because I tried to make like one of her “Twtr Suitors”. Anyway... the ice has been broken and, well, between Canada and the US... seems Canadians are considering moving to Mexico! There's even a SK corp. building down there... just for this purpose. (Shame I can't stand the sound of Spanish... I'd move!) - Anyway... TODAY? I DID get to the river and got more sand... and when I got back, I cut the pieces of 2x4 (found and old one that almost matches the legs on the kitchen table) and they're under, raising the table another 2 inches... It's OK for typing... I'll see about the height for eating... in about 30 minutes. I might cut more for the work table in Yonah's room! It's nice to be able to “fit” my legs under the table... but it wobbles now and it is just a tad “high”. But, we shall see...
THEN, THEN, THEN... FOR THE ***** NEWS *****:
AS I WAS STANDING IN THE DRIVE, AFTER CUTTING THE 2x4s, CHATTING WITH Ms. VT&C. A SILVER-GREY PICK-UP CAME ROUND THE CORNER AND PARK ACROSS ON THE HILL. A THIN, EDER GEY GOT OUT AND AS HE CAME OVER CALLED “HOW Y'ALL DOIN'?” MY GUT SAID (“MY GUT”) THAT HE HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE LETTERS AND.... SURE AS SHIT... THE TOWN SUPERVISOR !!! YES, INDEED! HE CAME TO THE HOUSE BECAUSE HE SAID “I'VE ENJOYED YOUR WRITING AND TOLD THEM I HAD TO COME MEET THIS PERSON!” HE FOUND THE LETTER “INTERESTING” AND APPRECIATED MY “TONE” AND SUCH! AND... WE CHATTED ABOUT “SHOOTING” THE LIGHT.... SEEMS THAT'S EVERYBODY'S CHOICE. BUT... AS I SAID TO HIM, IF I HAD THE GUN TO SHOOT, I WOULDN'T BE SHOOTING LIGHTS AT THIS JUNCTURE. HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DON'T HAVE SOME KIND OF “SHIELD” FOR THESE LIGHTS, ADMITTED THAT THEY'RE HARSH... SAID THAT THE TOWN CAN'T DO ANYTHING ON THE POLES BECAUSE “NYSEG” GETS STRANGE ABOUT IT. SO WHEN I ASKED “WHAT CAN I DO FROM HERE?” HE SAID HE'S BRINGING IT UP TO THE BOARD. (WE SHALL SEE.) HE ALSO SAID THAT HE USED TO COME AND SPEND TIME IN THIS HOUSE... HAD FRIENDS WHO LIVED HERE IN THE 70s. IT WAS A LOVELY CHAT... AND Ms. VT&c. CORROBORATED MY SENTIMENTS! (Although she did try to steal the conversation several times... fuck.) SO, WE SHALL SEE... THE LETTER DID GO TO CONGRESS, SENATE, TV AND PAPER NEWS. WE SHALL SEE. BUT... I WAS QUITE HAPPY THAT HE CAME TO SEE ME INSTEAD OF SENDING A FORM LETTER. WE SHALL SEE.
That done, Ms. VT&c. and I chatted. She didn't believe that the “Mayor” had “planted” a toilet in the yard and we strolled to see and it was confirmed. So now she understands, a bit better, what we're dealing with here. And she was disgusted with the “disposal”, over the cliff, of the tree limbs. Live and learn... sister. - SO... that done, I came into the house, put the blocks under that table and made the chicken-and-rice... which is currently cooking-over in the oven... it went in at about 13.15.... It'll be interesting to see how it turns out. - And the sand from Yonah's house was rinsed this morning and has been in the oven with the chicken. I just hope it doesn't take the “fragrance”. - THEN it was a call to Gina... - And now, the sheets and pillow-cases are dry... and back where they belong! IT WAS A DAY! - 19.52 I'm EXHAUSTED! And I've taken the 20.00 pills already. I keep forgetting that it isn't “too close to the last” because the “last” were at noon, not with “meal”. So... they're taken. - As for meal, as I think of it: the bloody rice didn't cook properly again. Thankfully I had some soup-mix left so I separated the chicken into a dish, the rice into another. I'll put the rice in the oven for a while again tomorrow (with the sand again, because it was almost dry but not completely... after 3 hours in a 350F oven!). - But, Yonah's futon is made. The bed is ready for me for when... I HAD to have a 5-minute lie-down just now too. I mean, I AM EXHAUSTED. - But it has been a day... And Yonah is SPIFFY! He's been all tucked-in for about an hour now... PRECIOUS LITTLE GUY! - Forecast for tonight has changed... only 10° instead of the 3 or 4! And the house is holding a bit of warmth, thankfully. - I'm going to have to run into town tomorrow for ice cream and smokes though. Oh well... Thursday morning... off to Richie's. - Friday, the blinds are due to arrive! YAY! FUCK! (I still want to hurt somebody over this street-light but... the “War” has only just begun... and we shall see... - For now, I'm going to post today's entry as far as it is, and grab a QI and the remaining ice cream and HOPE for some SLEEP tonight. Thankfully, I don't have to shower... I don't HAVE to. And that “thing” on my head... well... it itched this after-noon and I rubbed it and it “wept” but at least the itching has stopped. Oh... there's the oil on the arm and the oil on the “pit”. I should be happy I'm not itching through to my feet! But.. this shit's got to go and this oil is the only way I have so... - Off to post. (Yonah's entry is already coded.) - 23.38 Damned shame, this hour. Been so exhausted most of the day and when the hour for “bed” approaches, it's more the hour of “dread”. Fucking lights! And just to be clear: NO, I do NOT expect this issue to be addressed... at all. From Congress and Senate, the “not under our jurisdiction”. From the press: “not of popular public interest”. And from Mr. Merrihew, “Sorry but...” Well, let's just hope the blinds do a good job of it.

Wed.20.Oct: 7.37 and Mr. Taube's “morning routine” is complete... because... BECAUSE... AT 7.04... “THE MORNING CALL”! (I'd been up, having EVER-SO reluctantly gotten out of bed at about 6.20, mostly because of contraction and pee-duty... one contraction of the right thigh during the night, of course, 2 hours after having finally fallen asleep, and a dream:
I'd brought the truck in for the brake but stopped at the market before and whilst in the store, the truck got stolen! I came out to find it GONE. And some rather “transient-looking” couple was there and said that they'd seen the guy to took the truck. But I knew that it was of no use. The truck was gone. So I tried to console myself by saying “Well, he won't get very far, in the condition the truck is in.” thinking about the brake, and actually realising that, yes, the thief COULD get far and then total the truck because of the brake. The woman of the couple offered to drive me to the mechanic and I accepted the lift - talk about making no sense in a dream - and en route, I tried to reach the police on my mobile which, of course, didn't work. But then, we got to an over-pass by a river where the woman left me because SHE had to meet some-one there. A dishevelled “Charlie Chaplain” sort of fellow who'd been filming the entire event and with a strange, contorted grin, said to the woman: “There you are dear. Now you're in films.” - WHAT the fuk brought THAT dream on? A contorted recollection of yesterday? Having to do with my “intention” of going into town today for smokes and ice cream?
Anyway... morning routine is done, jeans and dark shirts in the basins on the soak. All else is done... and I'm really quite fatigued this morning. - BUT I GOT A MORNING CALL THIS MORNING! AND YONAH IS COO'ING! SO THE WORLD IS GRAND! - Oh, and 20° today? Ah... BUT... come the week-end... Sat-Wed... 9°/2°... Well? At least today's to be warm... and jeans will be on the line. - 9.47 Yonah coo'in. Lavages (2 work shits, 2 heavier “Winter” shirts, jeans) on the line. Haven't had first “actual” coffee yet. Tired. And need to get peanuts for Yonah. Will snooze... - 20.20 I'm quite exhausted so and just taking “night pills”... so... It's “notes” tonight and “catch-up” (again) tomorrow. - (“Tomorrow”... Thu.21.Oct: 11.48) - At about 10.30 I decided that I HAD to give that “wrap” of the window screens on the bed-room windows a try. The sun shone, and it was actually QUITE WARM! So, better to not waste the day and be pissed-off with me and out I went... to the garage for a ladder and... I pulled the plastic from the one bed-room window and used that for the first screen, over the bed-side window. Well. It worked nicely! UNTIL I re-installed it into the window out-side... I FUCKING BENT THE BOTTOM RAIL, TRYING TO WEDGE IT BACK! SO... COME SPRING, I'LL EITHER HAVE TO HOPE TO FIX IT, OR “WEATHER-STRIP THE GAP” OR... MAKE ANOTHER SCREEN (and I doubt I'll do that... with the expense, and at the current rate of inflation, I won't be able to afford it anyway so...) Since that worked “well-enough”, I cut a piece of the other “kit” that I'd bought, and wrapped the other screen. Tapped both in securely with little brads and... by about noon-ish... it was done. As I stepped-back and looked at it I thought “Looks like shit! Perfect!” and walked away from it. - As I was trying to put tools and such back and put the house back in order, DEB drove up! SHE'D COME TO BRING MORE PRESERVES! One of them is a “trial” of pear. She said it's good, can be used on chicken or ice cream (what a combo... my “staples”). And then she asked after YONAH! So I invited her in to see him. She came in and only stood at his door. And HE didn't seem to mind her presence at all! He was on his roof and just looked at her and me at the door. (I also gave her back her other jars... at long last!) We had a GRAND chat about Yonah and I have to say that she truly is a “kind soul”. She feeds birds at her house and as she said about Yonah and I “You're great gifts to each-other. He needed you. You needed him. And now you have each-other.” Yep... she's a “kind soul”, indeed. - I wanted to get a new mix of seed/food together for Yonah today, but needed peanuts because of his “protein” need now, so I decided, HE needs peanuts, I need ice cream... OFF TO MARKET! - On the way out the door, got “caught” by Ms. VTrash and had a bit of a time-waste chat for a while. - Then, into the truck and to FamDoll for smokes (and another bag of balloons... in case I ever get to making another “head”... to hang in the up-stairs window... to piss-off the town?). There, Penny said “I hear you have no brakes.” KRISTE! These people can talk. (And I'm thinking that when Pattie came with the lasagne, THAT WAS her intention... to ask for a lift.) Anyway, she says “I know how that is. I had to drive my kid to Lake Placid with no brakes.” So... this isn't all that “unusual”... driving about the mountains with no way to actually STOP, if needed. I wonder how many others there are out there even as I'm rolling along the roads. - Next, market... peanuts and ice cream, but I got a few more items, just to make the trip worth it and... rolled back to the house. - Now-then... a “mystery”:
Let me preface with my “doubt” to/of the validity of this, considering the source, but as the story goes:
A woman had come along the drive, from the front, and asked Ms. VTrash “Where's the owner?” Says Ms. V, the woman was just rude and wouldn't give her name. And when Ms. V said “I don't know.” the woman allegedly asked “Is he here?” and Ms. V replied “No.” The woman asked “Where is he?” and Ms. V replied “I don't know.” and the woman responded with “Tenants don't know anything.” Says Ms. V, she told “Mayor McFuknut” and he said “She's obviously not a local because everybody here knows Alden's name and wouldn't ask for 'the owner'.”
OK. Assuming this DID happen, MY take is that it might possibly have been somebody from the “Town Board” or from one of the offices of one of the recipients of my letter. As I said, I've a gut feeling that there's going to be a LOT of shit flying because of this. And Ms. V said that they really can't do much of anything against me because I'm just following proper protocol and haven't damaged any property. I said that that makes no difference and my strongest expectation is that I'll get a call from the Mass-hole telling me to back-off or some kind of “threat”. So... we wait and see. - So it was about 14.00 when I finally go to sit in Yonah's room and shell the peanuts! And then... OFF TO GRINDING! Peanuts. Oats! (YAY, oats!). Fresh sunflower seeds... and then the “base mix” of seeds in the canister. Whirled today's ground seeds together and made a batch of “food” in a container for the fridge (because of the sunflower and peanuts... and the potential for them to sour). - When I took the “old” food out, Yonah gave a couple “wing-snaps”. He was NOT pleased. BUT, when I put the new food in, he went directly for it and, it appears he doesn't mind it at all. I'm relieved, because, if nothing else, I want to make certain he has proper nutrition. It's difficult because “out there”, there's such a variety of foods... I'm rather limited. But then again... “out there”... no peanuts, and I doubt there's oats. And here, he has little bits of vegetables too. So... MAYBE this is better? I can only hope. - “Meal time”... Kriste, these days pass too quickly! I'd thrown the rice-and-soup back into the oven at 15.00 to actually cook, pulled a hunk of chicken out of the fridge, plopped some rice with on a plate... and DONE! Didn't have anything after because, well, but 18.00 it's already getting to the “late evening” and I had a bit of extra work to do with Yonah's pool this evening. There were bits of his food in there so I needed to REALLY get that ALL flushed out. But... before getting to that... WE HAD A STROLL! Mostly at the front door this evening, as it was still quite comfortably warm. He's AMAZING! Stayed on my shoulder, looking out the door, and as I spoke, he looked at me, cocked his head, and we got a few “nuzzles” and some pecks. Seems we're “an item” again! And I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER! We stood there for a few long moments and then, as I got us back to his room, he headed “home”. He truly DOES seem to be most comfortable in his house... and his room. And, thankfully, the pool flushed easily... I did a “double” on it (28 containers of water instead of the 14) and it did flush completely! SO sadly, by the time I was done with that, the sun had completely left the sky... “Tuck-in” time! So I got to that, closing the curtains, happy to think that tomorrow, the blinds should arrive and tomorrow night, the curtains will be more for insulation than much else. And I'm wondering whether or not the “light-blocks” will be needed with the blinds. I'm hoping they won't be, but the back board DOES offer insulation against any cold that might permeate through the windows through the Winter so... that's not a waste. AND, I have to wonder if, having the boards up doesn't give Yonah a sense of “security”... like being in a barn or something similar, through the night. Well... there's more “live and learn” to come. Meanwhile... by 19.30, “tuck-in” was done... I left his desk lamp on for a while so that he could “settle-in” and, although the forecast is for 10° tonight... radiator on. - Another day rolled to a close... so too soon. - I HAD... LITERALLY “HAD” to have a 15-minute snooze this evening. I've been on “burn-out” these days and tonight, my eyes burned and head ached. I was thinking about a shower before bed tonight but, I don't think I'm going to make that. I'm just TOO DAMNED TIRED! - That “spot” on my head is scabbed (it looks HORRID) and it's ITCHING!!! So too, the arm-pit and arm. It's Hell, but as Ms. V says: scabbing means healing. And, in the long-run, the itching is better than “tags” and other shit. Eventually... “this too, shall pass”. - AND... with all the work and laundry, my finger tips are SO SORE AGAIN! Typing is Hell tonght! So I just “note” again tonight. - Tomorrow morning, I'll drop the truck and HOPE HOPE HOPE it doesn't come to any more than 600 AT MOST! I'm almost sick just thinking about it. There's only 1k in the account! But with that dream last night... I'm SICK! - Well? We'll see tomorrow. - For now... 23° today!!! 10° tonight... and Sat-Tue... 8° to come! The windows and doors were open today... they're closed tonight... and the radiators are back on. It was a brief and most welcome reprieve... Now to see when HEAP will come and how little this year. (I'm not going to think about it!) - 20.39 JUST CHECKED FED-EX... THE BLINDS ARE DUE TOMORROW!!!!! OH THAT WOULD BE PERFECT! LET'S SEE HOW IT WORKS OUT! - 21.42 no shower my fingers are too sore and I'm just (politely) too bloody-fucking tired!

Thu.21.Oct: 11.33 Oh, and another night of getting to doze (early) and being rudely slammed out of sleep by contractions of the right thigh and BOTH feet! The last hour I recall was something round 1.30 this morning. Next thing I knew, the alarms were sounding and I just COULDN'T get up! But... at about 7.00, I dragged me out of bed and got to the regular “routine”. - Even Yonah wasn't ready to get up this grey morning! Thankfully, the house was only “cool”. Last night didn't get all that cold, apparently. *** BUT *** there are *** ZEROs” in the forecast! So... HERE WE GO! I'll bet. - At about 8.15, I just put me together and rolled up to Richie's to drop the truck and the walk back wasn't all that long, but I'm “feeling it in my hips” these days. I'm not used to walking any more. It was a “nice” stroll though, and one I ought to do as a regular routine because, well... I just ought to. Fuck. - And this morning when I got back? I did the “internet” crap of a morn. Checked on the blinds. They've left Plattsburgh! Imagine that! So this morning, I wait... - My thumb and middle finger on the right hand are “slashed” with those little cuts that are more painful than much else. It's making for “doing” rather annoying... from putting the wet sand I'd gotten the other day into the bowl for a rinse to typing this this morning. And my head-thing itches. So too, my arm-pit and arm. Tea-tree oil. And the arm-pit woke me last night as well... so I had to put that hydro-cort cream on. - And it's been raining this morning too. - Richie said “Call me around lunch-time.” I'm in no hurry to hear the “verdict”. How I PRAY this doesn't come to more than 600... MAXIMUM! I want to have money left to pay-back the loan! (Or... as will more than likely be the case... heating oil... and that fucks with my mind, mood and attitude. THAT's going to be physically sickening!) - But, at least the house isn't cold... And sitting in Yonah's room is a comfort. - Now, when the blinds arrive, it's going to be “interesting” to see if, with these fingers, I'll be able to install them. BUT I WILL! If not in both rooms... in Yonah's room, too be sure. Tonight, he'll have a proper “night”. Me? I can wait... This really isn't much different from having to “adapt” to the Shelter. And, let's face it, I managed to do that... eventually. I didn't like that any more than I like this. So I'll just “adapt”... yet again. At least, I must keep in mind, I can “lock me away”, and the only really annoying Bull-shit here is the banging from the PO (and that's only until 11.00) and that thing next door with the thwacking screen door and what-ever it is it does at 21.00! Human filth... the only escape is Death. - Now, I have more of yesterday to complete. I made “notes” but by the time I got round to it all last night I was, as always, SO tired! (Which is why I made the mistake of going to bed early... and passed the shower.) OK... move along for as long as these fingers allow. - 12.33 Journalling caught-up. Mid-day pills taken. The rains have subsided. I've been sneezing. And the blinds are still “on the road” some-where. I'm holding-off on calling Richie until... I'll have to, eventually. This time just kills me though. - Never mind... moving along... - It's 25,7° in Yonah's room! And I have a Sherpa on. Oh... (and the drizzle has returned... I'm not looking forward to the walk to get the truck... and if it comes to more than I can afford... the truck will come back and sit, another Winter, in the drive... fukkit). - 18.34 IMPOSSIBLE! I'm just going to do the washing-up. (meal: cold chicken, a hahberld egg, red cabbage, mustard... a bit of ice cream... I started to throw it together at about 17.20 and by 17.34, I'd done eating! DISGUSTING!) - *** BUT YONAH'S BLINDS ARE UP AND THEY WORK EVER-SO WELL !!! NOT “PERFECT”, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE THE MASS-HOLE FRAMED THE FUCKING WINDOWS WRONG! THE 29-INCH BLINDS SHOULD HAVE FIT PERFECTLY *IN* THE WINDOW BUT NO !!! 6mm OFF ON BOTH SIDES! THE WINDOWS ARE TOO FUCKING NARROW! SO... THE 31-INCH THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO BE FOR THE BED-ROOM ARE NOW IN YONAH'S ROOM AND I HAVE TO RETURN THE 29-INCH (ALL PACKED AND READY FOR THE PEE-OH TOMORROW MORNING... AND ORDER 2 AT 31-INCH FOR THE BED-ROOM *AND* WAIT UNTIL TUESDAY NOW! I'M SO FUCKING BLOOD-PISSED! BUT... AT LEAST THE NEW BLINDS ARE ORDERED AND THESE ARE READY TO GO! FUCK! Oh... IF that shit-sack Mass-hole EVER gives me shit again... WAR! BUT THE BLINDS LOOK SO ELEGANT! (I HOPE THEY LAST.) ON THE IN-SIDE ANYWAY. OUT-SIDE, THEY'RE DARK. BUT I DON'T FUCKING CARE ANY MORE! THESE SHIT-BAGS IN THIS HAMLET AND THE TOURISTS CAN ALL SUCK MY HAEMORRHOIDS! GENTLY AND DELICIOUSLY. STILL, I HAVE TO ADMIT, THE BLINDS DO LOOK “ELEGANT” AND THEY CUT OUT A LOT OF THE LIGHT! I'M NOT SURE ABOUT HEAD-LIGHTS, SO YONAH'S “BLOCKS” ARE STILL UP. BUT IT MAKES THE WORLD OF DIFFERENCE IN THERE! WOO-HOO! YEAH!
AND AS FOR THE *TRUCK*... IT'S AT RICHIE'S UNTIL MONDAY EVENING! *ANOTHER* FUCKING BRAKE LINE! RICHIE SAYS IT JUST RUSTED AND SNAPPED. SAYS WITH ROAD SALT AND MOISTURE, IT HAPPENS. HE ALSO SAID THAT THE TRUCK IS “WORTH KEEPING. IT'S A GOOD VEHICLE. AND, IF EVER YOU HAVE ANY REPAIRS THAT AREN'T WORTH MAKING, I'LL TELL YOU THAT IT'S TIME TO GIVE IT UP. WHAT YOU'RE DOING NOW IS JUST THE LITTLE ROUTINE MAINTENANCE. OTHER-WISE, IT'S A GOOD VEHICLE, WORTH KEEPING.” SO THERE! I'M PISSED ABOUT ALL THE 'BRAKE WORK', BUT, AS RICHIE SAYS, IT'S REALLY ROUTINE. AND... IT'LL COST ABOUT $500-600! I WAS PREPARED FOR 1k. I WAS PRAYING FOR NO MORE THAT 600. SO... IT STAYS WITH UNCLE RICHIE FOR THE WEEK-END. (AND, TO BE HONEST, I FEEL SAFER WITH IT THERE AND NOT HERE IN THE DRIVE ANYWAY. Ms. VTrash IS SUPPOSED TO BE “ENTERTAINING FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS” SO... BETTER THE TRUCK'S NOT HERE.)
GOOD NEWS ALL ROUND... THUS FAR!
And that, pretty much, covers the day! Had the blinds fit, BOTH sets, it would have been PERFECT! BUT... I DID get to spend time with Yonah and whilst I was “installing”, he flew back and forth as if checking on progress and the job I was doing. THAT made it all less aggravating for me, I tell you. - So now, he's “tucked-in”. The desk lamp is on for a little while whilst I do the washing-up. I'll put the light out when done. And tonight... Yonah's room won't be fucking illuminated like Times Square! It won't be “naturally dark”, but a LOT closer than it's been for MONTHS! (How I'd truly enjoy throat-punching a group of qunts now.) - Moving along... let's get these dishes out of the way and... Now, I'm tired again. (Damned shame I won't get a good night's sleep tonight... unless I “futon”... and I could do that. BUT... it was either the bed-room or Yonah's room and... well... no choice, no decision... BABE'S GOT IT! AND I'M THRILLED ABOUT THAT!) - 19.38 Yonah's evening routine is done and THE BLINDS ARE WORKING RATHER QUITE NICELY! NOT “PERFECT” BUT DAMNED-WELL MUCH BETTER THAN IT WAS IN THERE WITH-OUT THEM! I'LL HAVE TO FIGURE A WAY TO “BUILD-OUT” THE WINDOWS TO CUT OUT THE SPACE AT THE ENDS AND “RECESS” THE BLINDS, BUT FOR NOW... IT'S A MOST WONDERFUL IMPROVEMENT! AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING THEM ON THE BED-ROOM WINDOWS... SOON! (TUESDAY). I'M STILL USING THE “BLOCK-BOARDS” THOUGH... BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW WELL THE BLINDS WILL BLOCK HEAD-LIGHTS AND I DO BELIEVE YONAH MIGHT FEEL MORE “SECURE” WITH THEM... AS HE'D BE IN A BARN, RAFTER OR THE SORT. EVENTUALLY, I'LL TRY A NIGHT WITH-OUT... AND SPEND THE NIGHT THERE WITH HIM. BUT FOR NOW... AND... SATURDAY NIGHT'S TEMPERATURE IS EXPECTED TO BE *** ZERO *** AND THAT BOARD GIVES INSULATION AGAINST ANY COLD THAT MIGHT COME THROUGH THE WINDOW GLASS. (THOUGH, THE BLINDS ALSO PROVIDE MORE INSULATION... WIN-WIN-WIN !!! SO FOR NOW, TONIGHT, YONAH IS TUCKED-IN AND THE WORLD IS GOOD. (Let's hope that thing next-door doesn't suddenly decide to start shit... I dread her “house-guests”! I DO! But she said the woman will be bringing “crafts” so they should be spending time in the back of the house... and Ms. says she'll be sleeping on her recliner in the living-room... so... we shall see how it rolls. - Meanwhile, washing-up is done. I poured boiling water on the next batch of sand. Since the temperatures are to be LOW come the week-end, it gives excuse and reason to use the oven! BAKE THAT SAND! AND... I'll probably re-do the other sand as well... just... why the hell not? - I'm tired again tonight... it's only 19.46 but I'm already thinking “QI”, ice cream or yoghurt (or both... like last night), that shower I wanted to take last night. (I've got the scent of “shit” in my nose tonight, for some reason and I'm hoping it isn't ME!) And then... off to bed... early... to be rudely and painfully awakened every hour, again. Oh... if, at least, the windows were done. But... it's coming! - And tomorrow... well... a bit of sun. Tonight's “low” is expected to be 12... tomorrow's HIGH... 13... we're about to plummet into... FREEZE! Thankfully, Yonah has a radiator (and a back-up... should we need). HIS room will ALWAYS be kept warm and cozy. As for the rest of this place? I don't really care any longer. I'll keep OUR area warm... and the rest can rot. Not my concern. And if the pipes should take a beating? Oh well then... So long as Yonah has a warm, safe, cozy room... all is well with the world. - That's that. And this is this and it's time to post to the servers and... what-the-fuck-ever. - 22.34 No shower. Why bother? I'M TIRED!

Fri.22.Oct: 18.53 I've been “on the move”, non-stop... from the moment my eyes opened this morning (after a night of SLEEPING-THROUGH, if one can imagine such a thing)! The ONLY “stop” all day was a 20-minute lie-down this after-noon! EVERY other thing just rolled, from one thing to the next and on to the next. - 21.30 The hour got late and I wanted to watch a QI sooo.... - Anyway... - THIS MORNING! Started out as any other morning, not wanting to get out of the bed but at about 7.00 I thought I had no choice so... I got up, went through the “usual”... check Yonah (appeared to be still asleep... BUT HIS ROOM WAS SO DELIGHTFULLY DARKENED WITH THE NEW BLINDS... AND WHAT A DELIGHT THAT WAS TO SEE, although, I let him “sleep-in” for a good hour or so and now, with the blinds, I'm going to have to figure out how to “introduce morning” for him... gently... fucking LEDs!), coffee, flag, breakfast in the yard, and it was dreary-grey. BUT (again)... I WAS IN THE LOO AND HAPPENED, AS I DO, TO LOOK OUT TO SEE IF THE DOVES WERE AT BREAKFAST WHEN I NOTICED AN ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT RAIN-BOW... COMING DOWN INTO THE ROARING BROOK! SO I GRABBED THE CAMERA AND STEPPED OUT ONTO THE FRONT PORCH TO SEE... IT ROSE FROM THE BROOK, TRAVERSED THE SKY AND DESCENDED BEHIND THE BRADY HOUSE! OF COURSE... SEVERAL PHOTOS WERE TAKEN, INCLUDING (THANK THE GODS FOR THIS SAMSUNG) “PANORAMIC” !!! I GOT THE ENTIRE RAIN-BOW INTO A COUPLE OF REALLY GREAT PHOTOS! (Pathetically, the Brady property looks like a catch-all of shit... Gee... and to think... HERE, we're just “renters”. Yeah... OK then... Trash!) I WAS ASTONISHED, OF COURSE, AND SO GLAD TO HAVE CAUGHT THAT RAIN-BOW! Imagine... being up and awake and just happening to see that spectacle! It really was “awe-inspiring”... especially the “blessing” of not only seeing it but being able to capture it in photos! - I sent a copy to Gina, via Twits, with a caption “Good Morning from New Russia, NY”... as a “copyright” sort of thing.) - And then... I went on... to wake DEAR YONAH! The blinds really are a great investment! Now I'm even more excited to get them up in the bed-room! - Yonah was awake, and ever-so quiet, BUT in a great mood this morning. The effects of the moulting are dwindling more and more each day and it's such a DELIGHT... and RELIEF! So, mourning routine and... by then, Ms. Crystal finally arrived... it was shortly after 9.00. I puttered and pfutzed on-line until about 10.00 and went over with the blinds that are to be returned. (I have to almost laugh: she was having a HELL of it with the “new” money order machine.... a touch of “Schadenfreude” here... shamelessly.) Anyway, I left the box and came back to the shit-box to get SOME-THINGS accomplished with this day. - Out-side, the sun shone BRILLIANTLY and Yonah's room was SO WARM! HE basked most of the morning... AND THIS AFTER-NOON, HE WAS BACK IN THE POOL! I'M SO GLAD I DECIDED TO PUT THAT POOL INTO HIS HOUSE! HE REALLY DOES ENJOY IT! I can't imagine him NOT having it! - As Yonah basked, I took that “curtain” from the front door, split it and hemmed it at his work table and that took the better part of the morning-into-after-noon... It wasn't difficult, just slow, with my fingers being as they are. - An then... a 20-minute lie-down. (I'm ALWAYS tired these days anyway... and the aggravation of the LED doesn't make life any better.) - OK... THAT all done and a check of the post (more shit about Medicare... honestly... they make getting “old” a living Hell! the “scripts” bit is now Aetna! BUT, they claim I'm still 0 on the premiums and that's all that matters to me, really... and yes, the rates DID increase... the fuckers). - I sat at Yonah's work table and proceeded to slice strips of news-print... then, soaked them in a bowl of “glue-water”, blew up a balloon and... tonight, there's a new “head” drying beside the radiator in the living-room! For what? Still not sure but there it is. - Of concern to me... I looked at the calendar to see when Halloween is and I'm SO OFF on dates... I kept thinking that today was Tuesday... of NEXT WEEK! HOW? Seriously! HOW? I woke, knowing today is Friday and that Monday I get the truck back. But when I thought of the head and Halloween, I looked at the calendar and my mind registred today as “Tuesday” and that Halloween was THIS Sunday! Let's talk about “fucked in the head”... no, let's not. It sickens me... literally... I'm “loosing it”. But then again, it's no wonder, what, with all the rest of the shit that's going on these days. Thankfully, I don't forget ANYTHING about Yonah! - Well... working on the head took until almost 16.00 at which time, I put a hunk of chicken and some rice and frozen veggies into the pie plate, covered in foil, into the oven, and I Hoovered the house! Tah-dah! A day of “accomplishments”... over-due. - Meal at 17.00 and done by 17.40. I don't even “know” when or that I've eaten when I'm done. - AND, because of the shortness of days... I'd no sooner done the washing-up... Yonah's “evening routine”! (I'd changed the pool water earlier, because of his bath, but did it again this evening... of course, any-way.) I pulled the blinds, put up the “blocks”, put on his desk lamp and left him to that for about an hour. Poor Babe! His days are so short anyway. But at least we had this one together! And as he “got settled” I did his Journal page for today. - By then... “QI” time. BUT... BEFORE I GOT TO THAT TONIGHT, I CHECKED AMAZON... FOR A “BIONAIRE” FOR YONAH'S ROOM! The season is done so the prices, I figured, should be down. Well this evening, the price was up by 2$ from the last time I'd looked (2 weeks ago) but still under 60$ (which is, I believe, what I'd paid the one in the bed-room). SO? Since I have the money (sort of) AND I wanted one for him this Summer (but they were about 85$ then)... the order is IN! In 2 weeks, Yonah will have a fan for his window for Summer 2022! (Now, I have to figure how to plug it in on the ONE bloody out-let in that room. But, it'll take the place of the radiator and draw less power so... I'll think of something. I need to work on his “NatSpec” light as well... this plug/un-plug gets on my nerves.) Anyway... it's 12.59... QI is done and I've a tickle in my throat and want a shower.... especially for that “scab” on my head which looks horrible and I'm HOPING I haven't done horrific damage “up there”. And tomorrow, I believe I'll “trim” my hair... except for the top which almost covers the scab. - It's 22.01 and AGAIN, TONIGHT, IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY'S ON THE FRONT PORCH! THIS HAPPENS FROM TIME-TO-TIME AND IT “CONCERNS” ME, ANNOYS ME, PISSES-ME OFF! - OF A NOTE OF PARTICULAR INTEREST: TODAY, THE TEMPERATURE OUT-SIDE WAS ONLY BUT ABOUT 14° AND YET... IN THE HOUSE... IN THE LIVING-ROOM, AT ONE POINT, I WAS SO HOT I HAD TO CHECK THE THERMOSTAT... 78°F !!! I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE HOUSE GOT THAT HOT ! THE RADIATOR IN THE LIVING-ROOM IS SET AT ABOUT 3,5 ON THE “MED” SETTING, AND YONAH'S RADIATOR WAS COMPLETELY OFF ! I DIDN'T DARE TO OPEN DOORS OR WINDOWS, HOPING TO REALLY HEAT THE WALLS IN HERE FOR TONIGHT'S 3° ! BUT IT WAS SO STRANGE... ALL THAT HEAT IN THIS HOUSE! Right now it's 8/5° out there and I can feel a touch of the coolness beginning. Thankfully Yonah's radiator has been on for a few hours and his door is shut. I'm going to leave the radiator in the living-room as is for tonight and see what I wake to in the morning. - Meanwhile... time to get these Journals onto the servers, get me into and out of a shower and to bed. - Nothing “due” tomorrow and I can't really think of anything to “while-away” the time, really. - OH... one item: when I went for the sewing items today... BLOODY SEED IN THE BOX ON THE SHELF! AND, WHEN I LOOKED IN THE KITCHEN DRAWER... SEEDS THERE TOO... AND ONE OF THE “SEED BAGS” HAD BEEN CHEWED! I'm hoping it's just something I'd over-looked before. But the traps are set again, tonight... the SNAP-TRAPS! IF there's anything in this house... I've no more patience and love... and I'm NOT going to stay awake nights again! - OK... on to the servers and shower. This is enough! At 22.08! - 22.11 JUST GOT THE MESSAGE FROM WALMART... THEY ISSUED THE REFUND FOR THE BLINDS I SHIPPED THIS MORNING !!! WOOHOO!!! But it won't post til Monday. But... FINE! YAY! I'm amazed! They're trusting! - 22.34 Got that message from Walmarde just as I'd posted to the servers BUT NOTICED THAT THE ENTRIES FOR WHEN I'D ORDERED THE OTHER BLINDS FOR THE BED-ROOM DID REGISTRE ON THE FUCKING-BLOODY-DAMNED SPREAD-SHEETS! FUCK! I'M A LOT FARTHER BEHIND NOW, HAVING ORDERED YONAH'S FAN! BUT... THANKFULLY, THE REFUND WILL “BALANCE” THAT. BUT STILL... FUCKING SHIT ABOUT THE SPREAD SHEETS. ALL THE MORE REASON TO KEEP THE PAPER REGISTRES! WELL... THERE'S WORK FOR TOMORROW! - And now... SHOWER...DAMNIT! - 23.34 What-ever! But at least I got a shower in!

Sat.23.Oct:19.45 (FUCKING MINUS BLOODY ONE TONIGHT WITH A CHILL OF BLOODY-FUCKING MINUS 3!) LAST OF THE VITAMIN D TABLETS TODAY... IT'S BEEN A YEAR OF VITAMIN D AND THE “MEGA-C” ROUTINE! I'M DOWN FROM 11g/day TO 6g/day, BUT THAT'S STILL HIGHER THAN MY OLD “USUAL” AND STILL MUCH HIGHER THAN THE DAILY “RDA” AND “NECESSARY”. I'LL STICK WITH THE 6g FOR A WHILE ANYWAY... THE COLD WEATHER IS COMING AND, WELL... BETTER TO BE “HIGHER” THAN “TOO LOW”. BUT IT'S A “MARKER” OF WHEN YONAH CAME INTO MY LIFE BECAUSE I STARTED IT ALL BECAUSE OF HIM. STOPPED THE DRINKING. STARTED EATING “PROPERLY”. STARTED THE VITAMINS. AND HERE WE ARE... STILL TOGETHER... AND WE'LL STAY HERE, TOGETHER, UNTIL HE... AS I'VE SAID ALL ALONG: HE *IS* MY HEART-BEAT, THE CORE OF MY SOUL, THE “ENERGY” THAT IS MY “SOUL”. A YEAR... IMAGINE THAT. IT PASSED SO BLOODY FAST! OK... So I got out of bed, begrudgingly, after a night of sleep... through... for all the good that means... which is none, at 7.00 and hit the floor, moving. But... “accomplishments”? Well, the good new is that the Walmarde Refund posted to the account this morning! That's quite a relief! So I got the books up-to-date, save the damages on Monday with the brakes. - I also put a “chin” and “ears” on the “new head” and another layer of paper strips, and, believe it or not, it just might be ready to be painted tomorrow! That was quick! I'm not sure how or why, because the previous one AND the “hornet nests” took days to dry, in hot weather. Oh well... maybe the little radiator in the living-room helps? I don't know but there it is anyway. When I've done painting this one, which-ever of the 2 looks better, that one stays and the other goes up-stairs to the window to “spook” the “Good Folks”. Fukkem. Thank you. - Also, ordered 400 tea-lights from Ikea... the claim is that they'll be here by the 16th. I know they're full of shit and I'll be lucky to have them by December. But... I NEED THEM! AND even with the 10$ “shipping”... (from 5,99... is their new claim... so mine is 9,99... shit-fux), they come out MUCH cheaper than ANY-where else. I've got bout 30 of the Walmarde tea-lights and quite a few of last years' Ikeas... but not near enough for heating and Chanukah so... there we are... or... we hope. - Got the bill from the abattoir today. Almost 500$! Fuck them! I'll ring Medicaid on Monday and see about that. As it is, I have to pay insurance on the truck so the 180... if that's what my part is, will have to wait. Fukkem! This is going to be one HORRIFICALLY MISERABLE month as it is, with insurance and such! (Had it not been for the loan... I've got 17$/week to “live” on through November.) - OK... So, that was the day. Other than being able to spend it with YONAH... for the most part, and with him, took a snooze of AN HOUR (unintentional but...) honestly, that was it. And now... at 18.54, Yonah's house is prepped for the night, blinds down, boards up, his desk lamp is on, radio off... and to be honest, if I were still drinking, I'd be doing so... just to go to sleep. - UPS says that Yonah's food and mirror and the new fountain pump (and my lamp kit) are “out for delivery” but then they say, that won't be here until Monday. Nobody's reliable any more these days. So... UPS says “Before 8PM”. Not a fucking chance. I'd rather just go to bed... But I'm off to Yonah's Journal. I have photos to include but I'll do that with him tomorrow. - HEY! AT LEAST THE HOUSE ISN'T BITTER COLD... YET! THERE'S THAT MUCH! - OH... before I forget, that thing next door PHONED ME today! Didn't see the truck in the back, “heard you moving around, and thought I'd call” because it's too cold to come to the door. Oh well. The chat wasn't that long. Thankfully, we got cut off (though it pisses me off that that happens, generally). Imagine that! Hopefully this won't become a habit? - I'm off... Let's see how late I am to bed tonight... and I MIGHT go to “futon” instead. NOT, mind, that the house is cold. Just because... And it would be nice to sleep in the dark... and with Yonah... anyway. - 22.48 I'm off to bed! Just off to bed. Oh... and I ordered more Vit.C and a bottle of Naproxen... Best to do whilst there money for it. (I'm SO hoping... I've “budgeted” 700 for Richie on Monday... OH PLEASE don't let it come to that much... AND CERTAINLY NO MORE! Kriste! That 1100 just went by!) - And insurance is due next week. FUCK! Rent! Thankfully, no loan payment until January, but I have to prep for that too. I'm seeing that propane cost is WAY UP. Over 3$/gal! THIS NEXT DELIVERY (this week) is going to be HELL! Oh well... there's nothing I can do at this juncture. And I MUST remember to ring Medicaid on Monday... see what they'll do about the 400-plus on the abattoir bill... if anything. I'm not hopeful... And then there's the street-light issue... those worthless, self-serving shit-sax... and the cold, and the HEAP came on the 14th Nov. last year so there's 3 weeks to get through... at least, for that. And THAT will, most likely be a mere 100 gals and... pfftttt! (But THIS year, I WILL go for an “Emergency” and see how that works... As 'tis said “It's your money, your taxes...”) - I need to stop thinking... just close the day. - Yonah's warm though, and there's plenty of food and water for him, and that's what matters... He's safe, sound, protected... LOVED!

Sun.24.Oct: 7.16 I did go directly to be after signing-off last night. And “ran a scan” for stuff on the lap-top because of “halts” yesterday as I was working on a photo (which I have to include in this journal at some point). And... SLEPT! Imagine that! But oddly, I woke at about 4.15, and was ready to get up and out of bed this morning! But I didn't. And the next thing I saw on the clock in the bed-room was “6.45” and decided to get up... It was, of course, only but about 6.30. OK... It felt “chilled” in the bed-room. Not “BAD”. Not “COLD”. Just “chilled”. A check of the living-room thermostat: 68F. For schitzengiggles, I kicked the furnace... AND THE STENCH OF OIL! I REALLY MUST do something to get rid of that... I don't know what, exactly, but... maybe this year I'll have it looked-into. Maybe. I probably might/should put some kind of “filtre” on the registres, short of replacing the furnace... FUCK ME... or bitching to the Mass-hole. Either way... nothing will get done about it, I should suppose. Anyway, the furnace ran, took the “chill” out of the air. I went about coffee and such as it did. AND... at 7.00... THE POOR BIRDS in the yard were there already! Their breakfast has been served but, of course, they took off as I walked out there. I hope they come back soon... there's good food out there for them. (I'll have to grind some sunflower seeds for them... it's not as if I don't have enough for them too and they need the extra fat and oil. If I could figure a way to let them into... some place warmer.) - Anyway... flag's out and the thermometre on the front porch reads “-3” though “météo” claims “-1”. Either way... “minus”. What-ever. - I need to check Yonah very soon too. Poor Little Guy. But I'm sure his room is warm... and full of those fucking fumes from the furnace! (And I'm not supposed to smoke in here? FUCK OFF!) - And a “message” arrived just now... the tea-lights have shipped... MAYBE THEY WILL ARRIVE THIS WEEK! (Last time I ordered them, Ikea just kept changing the ship-date... so I cancelled the order. Those tea-lights won't heat the house, but they're better than none and nothing... I suppose.) - Well... time to roll along. Another day. - Oh... the “new head” is ready for painting! (I pondered that before falling asleep last night.) And I'll see about another set of eye-brows, moustache and beard on this one as well. The last set of “eyes” went well. I hope I can do as good, if not better than with this one. And that's today's “agenda”. - 16.51 I got the “head” painted. “Fleshy” colour... but just on the “pale” side. Several coats though. Not bad. And the “facial hair” is on the dry. - THE BED-ROOM BLINDS WERE DELIVERED THIS MORNING! NO KNOCK. JUST “DUMPED” ON THE FRONT PORCH. EACH BLIND IN ITS OWN BOX AND THE BOXES WERE OBVIOUSLY RETURNS... OPENED AND RE-TAPED... AT LEAST THRICE BEFORE! AH... SO I GOT THE BED-ROOM WINDOWS PREPPED (MOVED THE BED AND SUCH) FOR INSTALLATION, OPENED THE BOXES TO FIND... *** FUCKING BROKEN *** !!! SERIOUSLY !!! ONE BLIND WAS CRACKED AT THE TOP AND CHIPPED ON A SLAT. THE OTHER ONE LITERALLY AND ACTUALLY HAD A CHUNK MISSING FROM THE “INSTALLATION” BIT !!! BOTH SHOWED THAT THEY'D BEEN ABUSED ON THE BOTTOM! SO... *** ANOTHER FUCKING RETURN ***. THIS TIME, I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO SIMPLY REQUEST REPLACEMENT, SO I WENT FOR IT. AH... *** ONE *** RETURN SLIP !!! SO I HAD TO TAKE AN OLD “AMAZON” BOX, BREAK IT DOWN, WRAP THE FUCKING BLINDS !!! USED ALL OF MY “PACKING TAPE” AND TOO MUCH OF THE LITTLE ROLL! BUT THEY'RE AS READY TO GO AS THEY'LL BE! FUKKIT! AND HAD THE BRIEFEST “CHAT” WITH SOME “ADRIANA” ON “CUSTOMER DISSERVICE”. WOW! I MUST BE “MARKED” BECAUSE SHE WAS CURT, TO THE POINT, SAID “GLAD I COULD HELP” AND CUT THE “CHAT”! YEP... THEY KNOW... BUT NOW I GET TO SEE IF I GET ONE BLIND OR TWO. I DON'T TRUST THIS BULL-SHIT AT ALL. THOUGH WALMARDE'S BEEN GOOD WITH RETURN/REFUND. NOW I HAVE TO WAIT *** ANOTHER FUCKING WEEK *** !!! AND HAD TO PUT THE BED-ROOM WINDOW BACK AS IT WAS. NOT HAPPY BUT... - Mean-while, the house was “chilled” today. Thankfully the bitter night passed. BUT TOMORROW? *** RAIN !!! *** AND A *** LOT *** OF IT TOO! AND I'M DOWN TO 4 SMOKES FOR TONIGHT AND TOMORROW AND ... IT LOOKS LIKE I'LL BE “TOWN-TODDLING” IN THE RAIN TOMORROW. JOLLY! - Well... 17.00. Meal time. - BUT HEY! I GOT ANOTHER WHOLE DAY WITH YONAH! THERE WAS A BIT OF SUN AND HE GRABBED IT. NOW?... MEAL AND... SEEPIE-NIGH-NIGHT.... I ONLY WISH I COULD! - 17.54 I can bloody believe this: I sat to “meal” shortly after 17.00... about 17.05... washing-up is done, DONE, and Yonah's “evening routine” is done, DONE! And I had ice cream after meal! WHAT? Now, let's see when I get to get to bed or futon (still tempted to “futon”... it'll be warmer in the morning... until I walk into the rest of the house). But SERIOUSLY? IN UNDER AND HOUR? Talk about “catch-up time”! - And no, it's not “dark” yet, but, it's getting there so... the desk lamp is on, the “bird-list” is on... but the blinds are down, the board is up... There. - “Winter”. - 19.54 Yonah is tucked-in. I actually “snoozed” for almost 25 minutes on his futon before “tuck-in”. I'm really quite tired tonight. - I realised: LAST YEAR AT THIS TIME, I'D STARTED THE “MEGA-C” ROUTINE AND I BELIEVE I WAS TAKING THE 6g THEN AS I AM NOW! FROM 2 TO 6, THEN TO 8... MONTHLY. SO I'M FULL CIRCLE... A YEAR LATER! I'VE BEEN ON THIS THING FOR A YEAR! I OUGHT TO BE THE HEALTHIEST SHIT ON THE PLANET! But I'm tired. Oh well.. - Having a “ginger tea” tonight and I've made Yonah's futon up... just in case I decide to try a night with him... in the dark there (and the warmth as well... it'll be HELL leaving that room in the morning though!). - I'm “bolstering” me for a “town toddle” tomorrow... in the rain. Ought to be interesting. It won't be the first time though so... OK. Last time I was “younger” but... Thinking I'll post the “returns” and head right out by about 9.30 or so, stop at Richie's, ask how much he THINKS it'll cost and I can get the cash whilst in town too. (Then I'll have to go back anyway because, well, I need more food for the yard birds!) - And I have to ring Medicaid too... thankfully there's no rush and it doesn't MUST be done tomorrow... Fukkem! - Time for “tea”, pills, QI and BED! THIS day is DONE! (Now to try to hold on to the remaining 2 smokes!) - 21.23 I've had enough. And the forecast: 3° tonight, not much higher tomorrow during the day, but RAIN... in the morning, changing to showers during the after-noon... but WOW, is there ever a “RAIN” coming! - And tomorrow... Yonah's gifts, the lamp kit... and I'm not longer sure of what else is due. The tea-lights were supposed to come (from Ikea so...) on Tuesday... and there's vitamins coming... I need to stop shopping! - Now... I need to get to bed (and I DO believe it'll be Yonah's futon since it's not all too late.) 7.33 Up at 6.45 Tried Yonah's. Contraction and to my bed at 23.30. Another contraction and then to sleep until... Not too cold in the house this morn. RAIN! I'm not toddling. - 18.40 THE DAY IS DONE! AND WHAT A DAY IT'S BEEN! I NEVER EXPECTED THIS MUCH “ACCOMPLISHMENT” TODAY... REALLY! - OK... LET'S GET STARTED BECAUSE I'M TIRED! - BY 15.20 the heavy rains had passed and all that remained for the after-noon was a steady, constant mist. - This morning, after coffee and feeding the doves in the yard, I got to Yonah's “morning routine” at about 8.00. Poor Little Guy... the blinds hold the night in his room until I open them, and this morning, I didn't pull them up, I just opened them, mostly to see what effect it would have. He seemed un-phased by them and they do look “elegant” in there. “Warm”. And come the colder weather, they'll likely help deflect the cold from out-side. With the “NatSpec” light on though, Yonah appeared to be quite happy about the situation. That light really DOES make a difference in his mood. I'm relieved. - After all was done, it was after 9.00 and the PO was opened so, at about 9.30, I took the “returns to Walmarde” over to “Robin”. I got away with saying “This just needs a scan. It's ready to go.” She scanned and so, the “parcel” is in the post and on the way back! (Now, let's see how long it takes to get the replacements and what condition THEY'LL be in when they get here. I'm not expecting much good from this.) - Next? I went in, sat with Yonah and put a “brown wash” on the “new head”. Not bad. Not what I expected, but it looks less “pale” so I'm satisfied. No “repaint” necessary. Thankfully. - WHILST I was finishing the painting, I heard all sorts of “THWACKS” and got up to check the doors. Nothing out back. I looked out the front and saw nothing but when I opened it, YONAH'S PARCEL was in between the screen and front door! It was just after 11.00! UPS! Imagine! Yonah's “Dutch” food mirror and pump and the lamp kit! ARRIVED! I was quite happy! So I cleaned my painting mess and put Yonah's food in with the rest, put the pump with. Then, cleaned and put up the new mirror. So now, Yonah has TWO “full-size” mirrors to look into. I'm THRILLED! I LUV shopping for Yonah! (I shouldn't spend so much but, for Yonah... there's NEVER “too much”! - OK... NEXT... I had to “modify” the lamp kit. It's made for a straight wiring up through but I needed one where the wire came out of the side. Screw-drivers and done! I had to cut the stem and the hack-saw gave me more trouble. I think the blade's gone a bit dull but I managed and now.... TWO LAMPS in the living-room again! WOOHOO! I was going to return the kit and get a proper one AMAZON'S “FREE” RETURNS MEANS GETTING A “CODE”, PRINTING IT AND... HAVING TO DRIVE TO BTV! Dropping it at “Kinney” here in Liztoon... 12$ !!! FUCK THAT AND FUCK THEM! THE DAMNED KIT COST ME 13$ AND THE REPLACEMENT WOULD COST ME 14$! FUCKING RACKET THEY HAVE RUNNING THERE. (“LIES” WAS POSTED TO TWTR, TOO BE SURE.) THE “RIGGING” WORKS JUST FINE SO THERE IT STAYS. I don't use that lamp anyway.) - OkieDokie... It got to being 13.00 and I was planning a town-toddle... I had things I wanted (smokes, glue, tape...) At about 13.25, I rang Richie to see how much the bill would be and... THE TRUCK WAS READY... *** AND THE COST *** 230! I'D “BUDGETED” 700!!! SO... I PUT ON MY BOOTS, SHERPA AND GAVE YONAH KISSES AND SAID I'D BE RIGHT BACK AND HEADED OUT THE DOOR IN THE “MIST”. SURE ENOUGH... THERE WAS THE TRUCK! SO I GOT IT AND HEADED INTO TOWN. AND THE BRAKES ARE WONDERFUL! (BUT... the fucking gauge cluster is about shot to shit... NONE of the lights are working properly when the head-lights are on. Maybe I'll have the electrics checked next... one of these days.) - So... FamDoll for smokes and glue and another “Mahogany” candle... they had NO FUCKING PACKING TAPE! Oh... these “empty shelves”... FUCK! ANYWAY... up to Aubuchon's for food for the yard-birdies. then to the banque for 250 because the actual bill read 248, and... on to Richie's. Paid Richie and came back to the shit-box to find a black car in the drive so I HAD to do the “reverse into the drive”! That shit has it's company and the car... “VT”! Well, if it's still parked at her kitchen door tomorrow, I shall go and tell that it shouldn't be there... “Respect”... - AH BUT, WHEN I WALKED INTO THE HOUSE.... YONAH WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE ME! KISSES AND FLYING ABOUT THE ROOM. HE REALLY NOTICES WHEN I'M NOT HERE AND HE *IS* HAPPY WHEN I'M AROUND! IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL! - OK! THAT WAS THE DAY... and THEN... I actually managed to get the books up-to-date too! Spread-sheets AND the book! AND I put more than 2 loan payments into the savings and have money to live off of! November should be an OK month. (Hopefully, HEAP will come through before the FREEZE! But I'm not counting on that either.) - Next thing I knew... “meal” time... and again tonight... meal began just past 17.00 and by 17.40... the dishes were back up. I got busy “sifting” the new back of bird food, separating the smaller seeds into a jug, so that I can put them out specifically for the doves and the rest for the cardinals, blue jays and squirrel. - THAT done... “Evening Routine” for Yonah! The sun had set, the sky out-side went dark. So “routine” got done and now, at 19.08, it's about time to put his light out and let him get to sleep. I've made the futon up for tonight. I'll give it another try. - Of note: The gas tank is at 50%!!! THIS IS GOING TO BE COSTLY! BUT... .IT'S THE 25TH! I WONDER WHERE THE FUCK THE DAMNED GAS-MAN IS! IF NOBODY COMES BY WEDNESDAY MORNING... I'LL PHONE. - BUT for tonight... it's a relief! It really is... having accomplished such a day. - Now to see THAT I get to “bed” at a civil hour tonight! Nothing in particular on tomorrow's agenda but.... the earlier we start, the more time Yonah and I have together! (If only the blinds would come but... never mind.) - OH OH OH... AND I GOT YONAH'S JOURNAL TO DATE THIS MORNING... WITH PHOTOS AND SUCH! HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT? It's my mind... GONE! - 21.51 And... the chill (6° out there) is making its way into the house and I'm out for last quick-smoke and then to Yonah's futon (mostly to make sure that there's not “BANGING” coming from.... the V-shitz next door).

Tue.26.Oct: 5.22 and I'm up, dressed, sitting with coffee. But I woke in Yonah's room... and yes, last night, there WAS a bit of “thumping about” next door... even, I imagine, at about 23.00 or so. Not horrific. I could hear it through the pillow. Then again, that old thing stays up until all hours anyway. Still, I fell asleep “annoyed”. Not only because of the thumping but because of not being able to use the drive-way properly... pulling directly in. I shall, as soon as possible, “make mention” of it. After all, SHE was the one who called it “respect” where those who block and use it as a by-pass are concerned. And IT doesn't have a vehicle! AND, there's NO reason why it's “guests” shouldn't park on the Hill. After all... THAT IS its address. Anyway, the matter must have bothered me because when I woke this morning, twice, from the same dream, it was the second one that got me up and about... at 4.43! I woke out of the second dream, went to the loo and decided to just stay up when I saw that it was about 4.40... I put the kettle on, put the lap-top on and the clock on the lap-top read “4.43”! So here I am. And about the “dreams”? Well, they were BOTH, the SAME THEME:
The first had something to do with VTrash's spore having company... several people, and they were loud, partying, obnoxious, disrespectful of others, disrespectful of the house in general. Our flats were some-how “open”, by a door or doors that were supposed to be locked and “sealed” (rather like that strange “door-way” in Yonah's room that isn't a door-way on the other side but there it is over here). And I was getting ready to go to bed or something of the sort in MY flat when “the spore and company” came THROUGH MY bed-room/living-room (not sure which, as would be a dream), drinks in hand, laughing and such and headed out MY front door to a porch in the front of the house! I WAS LIVID, and tried to YELL at them, to tell them that they had NO right, NO business traipsing through MY house but, I was SO BLOODY ANGRY that my voice caught in my throat and it came out like grunts... as often happens in such a night-mare! And as I tried to yell at them, nothing really made much sense (to them or me) and the more I tried, the angrier I became and the less anything I said sounded like words... and the more they laughed! Well... I don't know whether or not I was actually making any sound (and I HOPE I wasn't) but I woke out of that dream, rolled over to my right side (I'd been on my left side) and managed to drift back to sleep, thinking that I wanted to remember this dream. (Obviously, I did.)
The NEXT dream was the SAME THEME... but THIS time, I was in Yonah's room when I noticed a “breeze” wafting about the house, so I got up and as I entered the kitchen I noticed that the back door was WIDE open and the screen door had been TIED OPEN, TO THE RAIL ON THE BACK GALLERY! I HADN'T DONE IT! THE SPORE HAD COME OVER AND OPENED THE DOORS! It was doing some sort of “moving” of something for its mother and for no obvious reason, felt it necessary to open MY screen door! (Now it got a touch odd here...) MY FIRST PANIC WAS YONAH! IF HE HAD DECIDED TO MAKE FOR THE DOOR, HE'D BE GONE, OUT THERE, ON HIS OWN AND COULD DIE! AND I DID-BUT-DIDN'T (as dreams will be) HAVE A SMALL CAT THAT, THANKFULLY DIDN'T GET OUT! I WAS IN A RAGE... OUT-RIGHT RAGE! (Now, the “cat” COULD have been because I'd gone to Aubuchon's yesterday and there's a large sign on the door about NOT letting the “Store's cats” out... and then there's “Gordie”, next door so a “cat” got into the “mélange” of the dream.) THIS time I DID manage to get words out, though they were a bit jumbled in my rage. And I called, from my door, as I tried to un-tie the fucking RAGS the spore had used to tie the screen door open! And THIS time she got told about “fucking respect” and that if either or any of THEM EVER came “over the line” again, whom-ever would be brutally beaten to death and THEN I'd ring the police (knowing that the police wouldn't bother coming here because of the reputation this house already has and that they just don't bother with or about us). The spore actually LAUGHED AT ME, and “mother” just looked at me and said “Are you crazy? We have every right.” which SHOVED me off into a white-hot RAGE at which point... I woke... having no idea what time it was, needing a bit of a pee, but not much, and, since I was up, and realised that I'd had the same dream twice, I didn't want to tempt Fate for a third go so I got up, went to the loo, saw the clock/time and decided to just stay up.
And now, at 5.46, as I was typing, the “6.00” alarm sounded and here I am, sitting here, having coffee, fully dressed and wondering what to do with this morning. Shame, really, to waste all these hours, but there's really nothing I CAN do at this hour. I'd thought, yesterday, of going to market first thing, but today's Tuesday and I've trash to take to the dump so it would make better sense to just do the one trip, dump and market. But that can't be done until 14.00! So? So... But the time is passing... I'm just trying to be quiet for Yonah until there's “day-break” and then... we'll roll along. - Some “order” or something is due to arrive today, I think. It's terrible, but I can't recall what... OH YES... THE TEA-LIGHTS FROM IKEA! BUT THEY WON'T BE HERE TODAY. TODAY WAS THE “DELIVERY” DATE ON-LINE AND I KNOW... FROM PAST EXPERIENCE... NO WAY! The NEXT SET of blinds aren't due until NEXT Monday... and I believe that's all I've purchased in this “binge”. So... so much for that. It is and will be, another passing day. Though I DO have “ought to clean old files off this lap-top” and there's a bit more work to do on the “new head”... and today's Tuesday and I'd consider going to the “Thrift” but that's not open on Tuesdays. Alas and oh well... we'll “stumble through” and the next thing, I'll be bitching about the day having gone by too quickly. - There we have it. And so... on with today's “stumble”. - HEY! At least the house isn't BITTER COLD! But it IS RAINING... RAINING.... raining... again. - 6.01 WELL FUCK ME! THE TEA-LIGHTS ARE IN PLATTSBURGH! Although, the “Track Link” on the Ikea page doesn't work, had I not known how to read the URL to find the tracking number, I'd never had know because the Ikea link goes to a dead FedEx page. Still... there we have it. FedEx isn't saying that it'll be delivered today... just that they have it. So... I believe no-one until... and the condition of the tea-lights will be interesting. 400 of them! At 16/day... 25 days' worth. (Hardly seems worth it.) But then there are those that I'll need for Chanukah (on 29 Nov.). I might order more, but I want to see the quality of these, since even Ikea's gone “soy shit”. Oh well... at least they're not just “Sorry for the delay”. - 8.45 I went back into Yonah's room at about 6.30-ish for a lie-down and dozed... until about 7.45-ish! And now... we're both up and about, morning routine is done, his “NatSpec” is on, the oven is on to 2nd bake the most recent sand (from about a week ago?).
AND THE MALIGNANCIES NEXT DOOR? 7.45-ISH... BANG! I HEARD IT IN YONAH'S ROOM! THEN, AT 8.25 AS I WAS IN THE LOO... “TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP”... HAMMER? “TAP TAP TAP TAP” !!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? THE DRIVE-WAY IS STILL BLOCKED AND NOW THIS? OK... FUCK THEM ALL! TYPICAL FUCKING “VERMONT” AND I'VE HAD MORE THAN MY FILL OF THAT SHIT! NOT TOLERATING IT. SO WHEN I GET READY TO GO TO MARKET, (because the skip doesn't seem to fit in with today's what-ever) I'LL HAVE TO MAKE A STOP-OVER... JUST TO SAY... “RESPECT”. FUCKING FILTH! SO lovely to be this pissed-off THIS early in the day!
11.16 Finished beard and moustache for the “new head”. AND THE BLOODY TAP TAP TAP CONTINUES AND I SEE THE SPORE IS HERE NOW... AND, OF COURSE, BLOCKING THE DRIVE. “RESPECT”. JUST GOES TO FURTHER PROVE: “VERMONTERS INHERENTLY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO LIVE AMONGST PEOPLE, HUMANS, 'OTHERS'”. FUKKEM! THAT ONE JUST LOST A GOOD NEIGHBOUR AND POTENTIAL “FRIENDLY NEIGHBOUR”.(11.19 TAP TAP TAP... TAP TAP TAP... FUCK FUCK FUCK !!! - And I'm rather tired so I'm going to TRY for a snooze for a few moments. - Checked the post. The new payment book on the loan. I'm tempted to make a payment today but the first one isn't due until 31 January. Oh well... we shall see. The money in the savings now is 2 payments already. What-ever. I need a snooze... and to get rid of the shit next door. - 11.26 AVERY IS HERE TO DELIVER GAS AND THE GUY HAS TO BACK IN TO DELIVER BECAUSE OF THE BLOCKED DRIVE !!! (Not to mention how much I'm going to dread this bill!)
PROPANE... 3,39/GALLON, 21,1 GALLONS DELIVERED, COST: 71,53!!!
17.00 FINISHED POSTING “164 HUDSON ST CORNWALL-ON-HUDSON” TO DEAD ARTIST! AND MAKING A COMPOSITE OF THE WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT... Now to MEAL! I'm exhausted... and TAP TAP TAP TAP CONTINUES! THE FILTH! ALL FUCKING DAY! I'M AT WITS' END WITH THIS FUCKING SHIT! - 20.29 Well OK... THE TEA LIGHTS ARRIVED THIS EVENING! The box is quite LARGE AND BASHED! FedEx is getting to be like the USPS in that respect. The blinds (broken) arrived FedEx and now this. BUT, the tea-lights were wrapped in SO MUCH PAPER (as IKEA does) that they were in PERFECT condition. I'm relieved. (And I calc'ed the “Chanukah” needs... on 44... BUT THERE'S A FULL PACKAGE OF 100 FROM LAST YEAR SO I DIDN'T REALLY NEED ANY FROM THIS ORDER! ALL THE MORE FOR THE TERRACOTTA HEATER! WOOHOO!) - Tonight's “meal” was horrific. Those “turkey franks” with veggies. And at the last moment, I threw in some pasta... BUT... I'm SO fatigued that I picked-up the newly-opened box at the wrong end and ALMOST DUMPED THE ENTIRE CONTENTS INTO THE KITCHEN BASIN! THANKFULLY IT WAS DRY AND I MANAGED TO SAVE THE GREATER! BUT IT'S THE FUCKING FATIGUE! FROM THE “TAP TAP TAP” AND THUMP THUMP THUMP... AND THE CAR BLOCKING THE DRIVE! YEAH... THIS LITTLE “NEIGHBOURLY SITUATION” IS DONE! THE FUCKING DISRESPECT FROM THE “THWACKING” OF THE SCREEN DOOR, THE SPORE FILLING THE PLACE WITH THAT RANCID SMOKE, NOW THIS? DONE! SHE CAN FUCKING GO SCRATCH HER FUCKING QUNT! I KNEW THERE'D BE TROUBLE... FUCKING VERMONT SHIT! - Let me move on... so dessert was crumble PopTarts with that “sugar-ricotta”. I NEED to get to market. There's too much sugar in all that. - But I've had my night pills and I'm passing on that shower I've been wanting to take (again). I'm just too fucking tired! - THANKFULLY THOUGH... THE FUCKING TAPPING IS GONE! IT HAD BETTER REMAIN GONE! I'M SLEEPING IN YONAH'S ROOM UNTIL THAT SHIT'S OUT OF TOWN. ONE “TAP” AT NIGHT AND THIS PLACE IS A PARKING LOT! - Meanwhile... there's 5° in tonight's forecast and more rain tomorrow. Oh well. I need to get to market, would like to try the “Thrift” for a bed-sheet for the window up-stairs... we shall see... - OH... I took the “bits” for the “Chanukiah” out this evening. The little “votive glasses” need to be washed and I'm not sure how I'll set it up this year. But... there's time... Chanukah isn't until 29 November... (WTF? EARLY!) - 22.13 I'm DONE FINISHED AND THIS IS A WRAP! OFF TO A NIGHT WITH MY BESTIE LITTLE GUY!

Fri.29.Oct: 15.54 I CANNOT believe how QUICKLY a day goes by! BUT... I was up and about at 6.10 this morning... Why? Not sure. STILL, at this hour, not sure, but one thing I WILL say... I HAD to kick the furnace for a moment or so this morning! Apparently, when I checked, the temperature was at 0° and the “chill” was at -1°! FUCK! Thankfully though, Yonah had his radiator and even in HIS room, there was a distinct CHILL and THAT, I DO NOT LIKE AT ALL! - AND... I TRIED to spend the night with Yonah but at about 1.00 this morning, in spite of wearing “the socks”... CONTRACTION IN THE FOOT! SO... rather than risk being up and down and such through the night, I crawled into bed... COLD bed too... and FUCKING BRILLIANT LIGHT in that fucking room. (And mean-while, Walmarde is giving me the usual “run-around” on Twtr with the “Thank you for sharing... &c.” and “we're looking into it”. Fuktards! Insulting fuktards.) ANYWAY... I turned the thermostat JUST until the furnace kicked-in and in mere moments, it stopped... at 68F. Better than it was because I don't think the thermometer was at 65F when I started. I don't know if the furnace stopped because of the temperature or... if... it... ran... out... of... oil... We'll see tomorrow... or when-ever I have to kick the furnace again. My “terror”... Next Wednesday... 0° or LOWER! THAT'S going to present a problem. But, I'm at the point now where I KNOW I'm going to run a FUCKING-YUGE ELECTRIC BILL this month and I just can't give a shit. We do what we must. And that's that. We've (I've) been through worse... 5225 VT for one... 19 Church VT to be sure... never mind the walking of the streets in the cold... At least now I have SOME resources. - Well then... Yonah was up and about by 8.00 this morning as the sun only just barely broke through the trees across the Hill. Poor Little Guy was FLUFFED! It was about 20° in his room but it was a “COLD” 20°! I'd moved the radiator over to just under his door and he perched there... in the warmth! OK then... I'm learning what I have to do... and that's to keep the radiator close enough to him. Maybe keep the “roof board” on a while longer to catch the warmth. As I say, I'm still learning. - And the sun? Well, THAT didn't reach Yonah's windows until 11.09! OK. After Sunday-week, it will be 10.09... but still... ALMOST FUCKING NOON before the sun gets to his windows! What a shit that is! And when it got to the windows... DEAR, SWEET Yonah went directly for his sand and BASKED! It MUST have been SO welcome! - And so then I actually got on with the two items that I've had on the “list” for over a week and... by... 13.12 the kitchen rug was scrubbed and my hairs cut (nicely too, I might add) and beard trimmed. AND BUT... the shit's washer backs into the loo basin! As I stood there, I SAW it slosh up and into the basin! I WOULD have gone to the hard-ware for “the closest drain opener to dynamite” but I was not in the mood to go out. So, perhaps on Sunday... when I see the “sales” at the market for the week... and THEN... no matter WHAT it takes, I'll BURN that drain clean and open! (The septic tank probably needs emptying too but... fuck it... until it gets REALLY bad... and then... “Health Dept”.) Anyway, I'm feeling a LOT better with the rug cleaned and ME cleaned! And as I say... I did a very nice job on the hair... for all it's worth... nobody sees it anyway but I FEEL better. - And when I was done with all that, he sun was POURING in through Yonah's windows after an uncomfortably chilled morning in the house. But the temp in his room was only 22,8! Yep... the house has “taken the chill”. - So, as for my “accomplishments” for the day, the one thing that's left that I MUST get to SOON is recessing Yonah's windows to block the street-light at night. I have to check that lumber that I got at the skip yesterday. HOPEFULLY it'll be enough to do what MUST be done right away... and tomorrow? Well... no... probably not, but Sunday? Oh, even if I have to break-out the saw! Fukdarest of these idiots and morons in this hamlette! - Okie Dokie... it's 16.12 already and time for me to get to tonight's “chili”... since I made MORE than enough for “several” meals. And I want a snooze. - I also got the beard/moustache for the “new head” done... painted and pinned to the head to continue drying. And Yonah's sand got another few hours of 500F this morning so I guess it's “sterile” now. - And Yonah? After a day of “lounging”, he's quite active... in fact AS IT TYPED THIS, HE TOOK TO FLIGHT AND IS ON HIS ROOF FOR THE FIRST TIME ALL DAY! WELL! AIN'T THAT JUST SOMETHING‽ SO THERE! (But I still need a 10-minute “shut-eye” ... I'm pooped!) 10 minutes... please. - 18.33 SO SAD... The sun's completely gone... meal's done... washing-up is done... and Yonah is “tucked-in” already. Poor Little Guy! The days are so short... the nights, so long. - 20.21 Yonah's officially tucked-in. I'm caught-up with the Journals. I NEED TO MUST SHOWER before bed tonight. And tonight, I'll be in Yonah's room because the forecast tonight is for a drop to 0° at about 4.00 tomorrow morning for a few hours and then... rain, rain, rain again! Hey! At least with “rain”, it won't be below freezing temperatures. And, even though it might be grey out-side... Yonah and I have his “NatSpec” light and his radiator so we should be just FINE! And I'm SO glad it's Saturday because... I won't be going any-where! And, there's nothing much that I need to do around this house so... I've got things to do that can be done on the futon so... A day together! - Oh... November's rent cheque got dropped into the blue box tonight. I do wonder what the Mass-hole must think of late, since I'm not posting so he (and his “Sharon”) gets it “early”. Well? Let him ask. I don't fucking care. (But if that thing next door has ever mentioned that I don't have a stove for 2 years, and the fridge not working properly and the likes, I seriously doubt the Mass-hole has the balls to say anything to me... as long as he gets the rent with-in the month it's due... and if he DOES ever... well? FUKKIT!) - I seem to be getting a bit of “trouble” from one of the “filled” teeth, upper-right tonight... it's playing with my sinuses. Will have to look for more filling.... tomorrow... For now... time to post these Journals to the servers, have a QI (I've already taken the night pills) a hot shower (I HOPE) and off to futon! AND... A NIGHT OF SLEEPING-THROUGH! (OK... I can hope... I suppose.) - 22.18 Off to the shower... but there was some kind of a “sound” in Yonah's room just now and I went to check... No mouses! AND IT'S 23° IN THERE! YAY! WARMTH FOR YONAH TONIGHT!

Sat.30.Oct: 7.18 Still not sure how, but, came out of the shower last night at about 22.46, went directly to “futon” and in moment, was asleep (last night, of course)... woke at 2.52, looked at the “phone”, thought “No. This is insanity.” and went right back to sleep. When I woke again, it was, on the “phone”, about 7.03 (but it's the old “ATT” phone so it was earlier) and I got up, came to the kitchen, put the kettle on, poured some food for the birds in the yard and “served” (it's still dark out there and wet because it's been raining and is supposed to rain all through the day) and then put the flag up out front, had a couple drags of a smoke and by 7.14... there we have it. And now, I'm sitting at table with “first coffee”.. and wondering “Why?” I bolted through all that this morning already. But.. here we are then. - Well, at least the house is only “cool” this morning and not “COLD!”. - 8.29 Dressed. I suppose the day's commenced. Yonah's up. NatSpec on. Fresh waters. And “woo-HOO!”. - Yep... the rains are here. Just another “Autumnal day” in the... hill? What-ever. - But I HAVE posted the photos of the Walmarde fiasco, to them as “DM”and on the time-line. So... I thought of it as I dozed-off last night. Ah... “Social Media”. Charming. - (Sun.31.Oct: 11.24 Because today, the 30th, went, as days go, ENTIRELY TOO DAMNED QUICKLY!) That noted... from the note I'd jotted before heading for bed: 22.03 Fucked this one up with the Journals... So tomorrow... Catch-up on BOTH! (and now I do...) The “accomplishment” of the day was putting the “final touch” on the “new head”... polish on the eyes. I'm not really “happy” with it. It looks too “docile”. But for the purpose, what-ever that is or may be, and right now it's a place to put a hat, it serves. - All through the day though. I kept finding “things” to do... I have NO idea, at end of day, WHAT I'd found to be “occupied” with and by, but before I have time to realise, it's time for “meal” and, well, shortly... TOO SHORTLY after that, the sun's gone, the skies are dark and it's time to settle Yonah in for a night. I TRULY DISLIKE THIS because even though I did spend the entire day with him, me working at the table and toddling about the house, it just isn't enough “quality” time. And today was really dull, dreary, wet, chilled. Thankfully though, I keep Yonah's room warm and it's comfortable in there. I'll have THAT room NO other way! And he spent a LOT of the day on his “door perch”, at the front of his house, over the radiator. The temperature was, for the most part, hovering at about 22 or 23°. But it seems there's “cold” coming into his house at his window. So he stays closer to where it's warm. - I DREAD the coming week! “November”! And the temperatures are now showing “minuses”! Wednesday night is a PLUNGE into COLD! And after that... ZEROs THROUGH THE NIGHTS! SINGLE-DIGIT “HIGHS” in the foreseeable future! HERE WE GO! And HEAP not due until mid-month! Oh... it's going to be “interesting”. But again, we can keep Yonah's room quite warm. His door will be closed or almost closed, but I'll be passing the time with him... day and night. - Speaking of ... not that I'm “speaking” and not that it segues... still no word from Walmarde on the blinds. I'm convinced they don't have them any more and they're playing shit games now. What pisses me off is that the fucking corporation has my money AND I FEEL I'M BEING MISTRUSTED! When I went for a “refund”, it came with-in days. I was always quite pleased by that. But this time, the “excuse” is that they're waiting to receive the returned items! Yeah? “Tracking” shows that they should have them... or, to give any “benefit”, they SHOULD KNOW that they're on a truck or something and on the way to where-ever they're supposed to go. (I'm just happy that I got those photos and was able to post them... twice... on Twtr. ALTHOUGH Twtr seems to have blocked my posts where Walmarde is mentioned. I'll have to re-post... some other way, just to make it known and seen. I'm not happy... the longer I go with-out the fucking blinds, the longer I won't be in my own bed... and the longer that room will take the cold from the windows which I can't “seal” because of the blinds.) - Which reminds me of “election day” coming on Tuesday-next... the shits want to keep their cushy jobs in government? Well... We'll see who shows up on a ballot... At this point, I'm willing to “throw a vote”. Maybe I'll write-in Yonah! And/or Mimou... Hallie? What-ever. I'm physically sick about this shit. But as 'tis said: “You're abused only to the extent you allow.” We shall see. - But for now, I'm late again with this day. I didn't want to get to Yonah's futon this late and I'd taken “night pills” at 19.30! Honestly! - And tomorrow's forecast... more of the same shit as today. But, as long as it rains, it doesn't snow. There's that.

Sun.31Oct: 11.39 FINALLY... got yesterday caught-up... for all it means to anything or anybody. And my fingers are typing away at Yonah's work table... Hauser playing for me... Bird-songs playing for Yonah. - I DID manage to sleep-through last night on Yonah's futon and woke, having to pee, at 5.04 on the “ATT Alarm Phone”. Not sure why, but I decided to simply get up and get on with the day... and by 7.37, I'd gotten dressed, put breakfast out for the birds in the yard (it was still completely dark when I did that), had coffee and began the morning on-line. The intention (for all that's worth) was to get that done and get to Journals and such... Ah... but... distractions all over the place! ALTHOUGH... by 8.00, Yonah was up and so, “morning routine” and his NatSpec light on. It's another RAINY, DAMP-IN-THE-HOUSE day.. grey, heavy. Thankfully though, it isn't “COLD”! No... THAT'S supposed to hit on Wednesday night... and then it's supposed to linger. Oh well... I'm just glad I hit the “budget” on the electric before this. There's a LOT of “heating” being done with the radiators as it is... come the end of the week, there's going to be a LOT more! I have to get that “terracotta heater” together too. Good that I ordered 400 tea-lights. (I might order another 400 whilst I have any money left...) - Speaking of “ordering”... I've “ordered” a larger “boot tray” to feed the birds in the yard, and a surge protector to re-arrange the wiring in Yonah's room. An order with Amazon yesterday, another today. (Actually, the only thing I have left that I'd like to get is a set of drill bits... but they're not absolutely necessary so... NO MORE SHOPPING unless it's directly for Yonah!) - But I'm annoyed with me again... pissed-away another morning and to think... I was up and about at 5.00! Here it is... 11.52 and... actually the only thing I wanted to get done today was the “recess” on Yonah's windows. But stuff is in the garage, and it's raining and I don't want “stuff” to get wet. So? So... time for mid-day pills (almost out of vit.C too... I hope the new bottle arrives tomorrow... although I do have a full bottle at the ready). And I REALLY want a snooze. - But HEY! YONAH AND I HAD A “HOUSE STROLL” THIS MORNING! Poor Little Guy... he's passing his day on his “door perch”, over the radiator. As I say, there must be some cold coming in through the glass of his windows... cheap shit that they are. But at least he has a place to go to where he can keep warm. (The thermo in his room is reading 22,7° so that not too bad... it's all of about 20° in the living-room! But the radiators are both on “MED”... they'll be on “High” again... soon enough. And both are set at about 3,5... we have “more” to “play with”... ) - 19.14 YONAH'S SITE PAGES HAVE BEEN UP-DATED... I changed the “comment/description” on ALL of the photo pages because I'd used “a 7-month journey” and... well... WE MADE IT PAST THAT! THANK THE FATES AND THE GODS AND ALL THE REST FOR THAT! AND his Journal is current so we can “close-out” October 2021 tonight! - And then... “frittata” for meal tonight because the eggs in the fridge were rather “old”... there's 4 left... but I have to make bread again... and we're in for some COLD nights and days ahead so... And I'll run into town tomorrow (morning) and get another dozen and Yonah and I will have “hahdberld” egg tomorrow f'lunch. Howzbowdat? - ANYWAY... the sky STARTED to clear this evening... JUST as the sun was disappearing from the sky (of course). Tonight's low 7°, tomorrow's high 10° with SUN! And Wednesday night still looks like -2° and then single digits from there on. Oh well. (I'm thinking: when HEAP comes, I'm just going to tell Avery to dump the whole damned thing into the tank... IF HEAP covers 200 gallons... which it probably won't anyway so... they can dump it ALL in and in January, I'll be pounding on the office for EMERGENCY... FUKKIT! I'm sick of all this bull-shit!) - And the house is in order and Yonah's “evening routine” is done and he's all but tucked-in... He's on “wind-down”... no music or such and the desk lamp is on. In a while, I'll turn the desk lamp off, leave his door open a while and then... - And I'm sleeping with him again tonight... (I'll be in there MOST CERTAINLY, ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT!)
*** *** *** ONE NOTE FOR TODAY THOUGH: DURING THE DAY, IN YONAH'S ROOM, THERE WERE “THUMPS” THAT SOUNDED AS IF THE HOUSE WERE SHIFTING, OR BOARDS WERE “GIVING” OR THE SORT !!! I WENT AND LOOKED AT THE 4x4s THAT ARE “HOLDING UP” THE CELLAR DOOR AND THEY'RE FINE. BUT I DIDN'T GO INTO THE CELLAR SO... BUT THAT BUGS ME !!! THE BOARDS ON THE OUT-SIDE OF THE HOUSE, THE “VERTICALS”, AS THEY ARE, SEEM TO BE SEPARATING UNDER YONAH'S WINDOWS. I'M “CONCERNED”... WITH ALL THIS RAIN, THE WATER AND SUCH, AND THEN A SUDDEN “FREEZE”... WELL... LET'S JUST HOPE MASS-HOLE IS PROPERLY INSURED BECAUSE IT APPEARS THAT YONAH AND I WILL BE MOVING TO MUCH NICER QUARTERS SOON... SOCIAL MEDIA, MAIN MEDIA AND SUCH... HERE WE COME !!! AND THIS TIME, NO “NICEY-NICE” !!! SHIT HAPPENS? LET'S DRAW BLOOD!
Moving along, it's 19.26, I'm rather tired. It doesn't look like there'll be any costumed little folks at the door again, this year. “Halloween” just isn't... but then, I had those... in VT... I don't need them now. - Vits to arrive tomorrow... just in time. I have to open the other one tonight... although, I might not because tomorrow... I'm dropping from 6G/day to 4... and see how that works out. 4 is still MUCH more than the RDA and such so... - OK... moving along along... I want to get what I have on the lap-top onto the server for October... I'll close this and post that tomorrow. - FUCK !!! NOVEMBER ALREADY !!! WHERE IN FUX NAME DID 2021 GO? WHERE? But then, now that my existence is a “Life” (thanks to Yonah) it figures it would all just piss right by from now on. Always FUCKED... some-how, any-how... - BEFORE I FORGET... THE SCAB ON MY HEAD CAME OFF TODAY... I WENT TO LIGHTLY SCRATCH AND “POP”, THERE IT WAS... AND THERE'S JUST A “DRY-LOOKING” PATCH ON MY HEAD NOW! (I'm going to see about and anit-fungal tomorrow... maybe that'll help.) Now... to get rid of the little “tags” under and on the left arm and... what-ever... - Off we go for now... Server-post! - 22.59 Teeth brushed and off to put on jammies and get onto the futon! October is now officially “CLOSED”. - Oh... e-mail from Walmarde: apparently the blinds have shipped but are now “delayed”... no other details or particulars other than “If this doesn't fit in with your schedule, arrange for a refund.” What a bunch of fucktards. - Well, at least there's a new boot tray for the birdies, a surge protector for Yonah's light and fountain and such and others things on the way. Vit.C too. - AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS HOUSE BUT THERE WAS JUST ANOTHER “RUMBLE-THUD” IN YONAH'S ROOM! I AM NOT LIKING THIS SHIT! THANKFULLY, I'LL BE IN THERE TONIGHT!