|
(Created: 9.22 on Saturday, 1 December 2018... When I built this Journal originally, I'd gone only to the end of 2018, never really expecting that I'd fill that year, never mind, make it through to the next. And no, I've not yet trudged through the last month of '18, but, in spite of all that's falling apart inside, with-out the knowledge or even the recognition of the fact of others, here I am, on the first day of the last month. SO it would appear that I'll be moving right along, at least into the next year. Am I "pleased"? No, I can't say that I am. There's more pain to every new day that comes, new pains, increased pains, some keep me from doing things I'd like to do, others keep me from doing things that I feel I "must" or, at least, "should" do. Well? I never claimed any intention of "growing old gracefully"... and so, it's coming to pass that indeed, I am NOT! But... here we are... all too simply "doing" what can be done... with the time at hand. How much MORE is there? That's anybody's guess. I keep thinking of Dorothy's "report" on the "demise" of the elder BY: "He died, at home, in his sleep. John found him." and the elder JY: "He died, at home, in his sleep." And I wonder: Will *I* die, *at home*... never mind, in my sleep... Just will *I* die... *at home*... or here, where I certainly DO NOT want to die? I've lttle doubt... THIS will be the "Hell" of lore... and HERE, is where I'll die. Never should have been conceived. Never should have been ripped from the glory of non-existence and dumped into this world. Never should have been... never should have "been". Oh well. I'm here. I'm "being". May as well make the best of it. Thankfully, there isn't another 63 years ahead.)
Site-Build: JA Kessler Design 2018
|
|
: 
: 
: 
: 
: 
: 
: 
: 
: 
: 
: 
: 
