*** “I WOULD NEVER RENT MY PLACE TO A HOMELESS PERSON!!!” ***
Friday.08 and Tuesday.19.February

Fri.01.Feb: 0.02 JEEZUS KRISTE! JANUARY'S GONE! SHIT! I'LL BE (no, I won't be... I already am) DAMNED! - Working on the G's site, putting music on, independent of the Internet and such, made a new “graphic” for the Moody Blues tune, up-dated the “Site Map”, repaired a broken link, AND USED THE “CONTACT” PAGE FORM that still goes to the WP blog... AND IT STILL WORKS! IMAGINE THAT! I SENT ME AN E-MAIL FROM THE SITE PAGE/WP PAGE! OK! - Anyway, the house is dark and still and all are away to sleep and I'm on the verge of another “nap” at this point. - Finished the oatmeal with creamer and sugar. There wasn't much of it but I suppose it sufficed. I've had my nightly vinegar and am wrapping this all up. Just had to jot... when I saw the bloody time/date on the e-mail I sent! I can't believe it! Oh well... time is rushing away... again. (I'll have to up-date the on-line Journals before heading off to nap.) - 0.52 JUST as I was getting ready to actually toss into the bed, I happened to click on a notice of an up-date on an “Oscar Wilde” blog I intended to follow and WELL!!! If ANYBODY could imagine: OSCAR WILDE WAS IN CORNWALL! AND THE CATSKILLS! OK. So it was WAY before I was in Cornwall, but... IMAGINE IMAGINE IMAGINE! So I HAD to post a comment to the blog author, and come to find out, the guy's from England, quite well-to-do, and a “Wilde” aficionado, as it were. Anyway... so there we have it. Another lesson in life. (And so I posted a link to the page on the forum on the G's site. Of course.) - I wanted to see the year Downing Park was opened which brought me to a “Wiki” page and the Nbg city page... It disgusts me to think of all the work I'd done, the site I'd built, with SO much MORE information on the park, and other things. But, it was done, now it's gone... like most of my existence. I'm getting better at letting it all go. It's time, really, to do just that. What's gone will never come back. I've created more since, learnt my lessons about how to preserve what I want to preserve (like this journal, for example). The rest? I can only hope those responsible simply rot... and, as Life has shown, many, if not all, do. - The end of this rant. - 8.37 and up at 8.18 and feeling rather shitty. I shouldn't wonder. A little bit of oatmeal, some peanut butter and sugar (it was here, I was hungry), and that was “in-take” yesterday. Alas. And here we are, bottle-pee, coffee, vitamins, smoke. - Clear day out there and crisp. - A few things on the agenda, including a roll to Sutton (I hope). Ring the PO, and, if possible, about that flat in Champlain. Get this journal on-line. Clean-up the hard-drive after the “art work” of last night. And, of course, navigating into the loo. The loo... the part of every morning that gives more anxiety that it should. I should try to figure how to do that from the little room as well. One of these days... If I could afford to, I'd have a little kitchen in here too. The place would mimic Rockaway... “toilet down the hall”. It isn't much different anyway. Imagine that. - OK... on with the show. - 8.57 Journals done. - 10.43 Just doing monthly “reconciliations” and the banques are fine but the FS has been REDUCED... AND I RECEIVED NO NOTICE ABOUT IT! (I'll “assume” it's because of the increase in soc.sec. but to NOT receive NOTIFICATION of adjustment? VERY suspicious, indeed.) Anyway, down to 35 from 48. Honestly... they're just about HALF above the absolute minimum and I see THAT coming ever-so shortly. - Meanwhile, I just have to finish my 2nd coffee and hit the loo. I WISH I could make my phone calls but I don't like the fact that sound travels out of this room. I'm still trying to figure a way to “attend” to that. - HLS was seated at the lap-top moments ago, in house-coat, when I went to the WC to “cleanse” the clench-guard. Oh well... - And it appears that her Bradley left some wood in the drive... Gee... I wonder why. Oh well... none of my concern. - I'm off... Hopefully to roll into Sutton and then, at some point, get something to eat today. We shall see... we shall, indeed. - 10.53 USPS wait time... “Greater than 1 hour” again today... so we move along. - 17.49 MADE IT TO SUTTON AND WHAT A WONDERFUL VISIT! It's really such a WONDERFUL relief to be addressed with courtesy, as a human-being, politely. I left at about 14.00, took the lake to Richford and passing customs was a delightful breeze. Charming young woman there. Drove delightfully, though bumpy because the Québec roads are a MESS with their bumps, into Sutton. Brunet first. Got my vit.K, Biotine and some Magnesium whilst at it, “lvae-vitre” was on sale at 2/$5 so sine I put the last that I had into the truck, got 2. Charming chit-chat with the woman at the cashe, in English too, and happily on my way to IGA. There, I got “chicken bologna” which, having eaten some already on rolls, with HOT mustard... I'll NEVER get that again! It's almost HARD, tough to chew, but it's better than nothing (I hope... and will learn about later, I'm sure, if it doesn't settle well). Also, got a container of “Liberté” yoghurt (they didn't have “Krema”, I'm sorry) for me and a “pumpkin” for HLS (just because that's how I am... stupid). They were on sale anyway. And some Vachon “carrot cakes” for later. OH! And 4 can of Labatt 50... in case I feel like one (or 2) later tonight. Fuck it. She's going to work tomorrow, thinking of taking Hallie with, but in any event, she'd better feed the little ones before leaving so I can sleep in if I choose. - Next stop: Couche-Tard dép for 2 packs of smokes, simply because I was in the area and had the money. WELL! Each pack, even after all the tax... $3 LESS than in Bedford! This trip was MORE than worth the time and travel and probably paid the gas too! (I'm thinking of making my “monthly” banquing trips to Sutton... there's a CIBC there... IGA and a dép that sells smokes cheaper. I'll have to think about this come the 27th.) - And so... back into Richford and another WONDERFUL, dignified crossing of the “frontier”. In Richford, a stop at Wetherby's for 25$ in gas that I had to FORCE into the tank to fill it. And the WONDERFUL woman thanked me for the purchase and said “Appreciate it.” Imagine THAT! “Appreciation”! In Fuckline, they make you feel you've inconvenienced them (at the store). And I chatted with one of the locals at the pump. It's ALWAYS such a delight to be back in Richford. (I thought about looking for a place back there instead of NY but... No... I WANT to get back to NY... in spite of all the government bull-shit. It's my “Home State” and I want to go “Home”.) - And so... the drive back to the fucking depression was really wonderful too... all the bright sun-shine. The truck ran well and it was delightfully warm. Sad though, that I don't listen to the radio... mostly because of the “volume”: SCREAMING or nothing. I'll HAVE to get that replaced... maybe this month... if the rest of the truck stops falling apart. (Oh... I used 40$ of the wind-shield money for gas today... but I've still got enough for the wind-shield... I do believe.) - By about 16.30 I was back in the shit-hole, gave HLS her yoghurt, chatted briefly and by 17.02 had made my 2 sammiches and was eating. - Now? I'm looking forward to a nap! - Mme. said she'd made sauce and was cooking pasta for dinner (“If you'd like some later.”) but she took a bit of a nap meanwhile. “If I want” pasta? I don't believe so... not with sauce cooked in dog-spit, thanks. - Anyway and so, I've eaten, reconciled accounts. The truck's tank is FULL. All is settled and well. I've my vitamins... very important. And the sun is setting on another day. - On Sunday, I might head to Walmarde to get snax for the little ones. And one of the 2 “above freezing” days next week.... truck wash! - For now... SNOOZE time! - 20.23 and there's the nap. I woke thinking “After 8. She's probably gone by now.” and then realised... wrong “8”. It's been a long while since I last did that. Oh well. Here we are, awake... still just tired enough to go back to sleep but... I'll soc.med. for a bit instead. At least I'm not starving.

Sat.02.Feb: 0.18 This month is going by too fucking quickly! And I need to get to bed! There's beer here and I didn't get anything to go with them. AND I've gone through 8 gâteau aux “crottes” here! The whole box! Oh well... Vinegar and water is healthier anyway (and I DIDN'T get more vinegar and that's why I went to IGA yesterday). Soc.med. is done and I've no interest in staying up much longer anyway. But there IS a noticeable cold draft coming across my legs as I sit here at the table. Hmmmm... - What-ever... time for a smoke, vinegar and to try for a night-long nap. Today's another day... and HLS will be gone for most of it. (Shame the water to the washer froze yesterday... and I don't have anything of any value to cook... save balogna.) - 8.36 Up and out of bed at 8.09. Hallie went to “work”. Mimou was at the door on the porch. The very last of the kitchen fire-wood in the stove. I let Mimou in, added crunchies to his left-over breakfast, re-filled 3 water bottles, rinsed the clench-guards, re-rinsed my little glasses and had coffee with 5 vitamins, rinsed that glass, rinsed the pee-bottle, had my smoke AND RAND THE WASHER THROUGH A COMPLETE CYCLE... it had some kind of “fault” yesterday, frozen water-line, I suspect. And so, just now, I feel the vitamins sitting in my gut. But the day has commenced. I could and probably should go back to bed. It's Shabbat, a day of “rest”... and even Mr. Dimballs is out. The house is empty, save for Mimou and me. Imagine that. - Grey out there. Not quite awfully cold. Going for 10F. And my sight is set on Monday (or tomorrow, Nature willing) to take the truck for a shower, may all be well with that plan. - But for now, we roll with the time, roll with the time. It's another day... another day. - 14.03 Another day gone... soc.med. for the most part. A bit of investigating the proper quantity of the new vitamins. The only one that I have that's incredibly a waste of money is the “old” Potassium which is 99mg and the recommended amount is 4700! WELL! Imagine THAT! Also learnt that Magnesium should be taken AFTER the others. So that's to be adjusted (though today is day 1 of that one. AND a quick check into the colour of urine... just to be on the “safe” side and I'm well with-in the “normal” range, all told. Good new there too. - Now... if I could get rid of the pain in the neck which has returned, along with the discomfort of that tooth in the upper-left. - Meanwhile, a trip to the garage for fire-wood... one can't get down the steps into the garage from the kitchen because the trash bin of kindling is at the bottom of the steps and other pieces of wood are scattered about the floor. Ah... like all “tasks” performed in the grand hole of Vermont... “half-assed and horse-shit”. Climbing onto the stack at the steps is a hazard, but I managed 3 pieces. I won't be going after much more, to be sure. - And now? I'm ready for a nap. I haven't even put clothes on yet! Imagine! A day in jammies. I'll dress soon. - Had the yoghurt for “lunch”. “Meal” will be... well... to be seen. If I'm to have any more of that “bologna” from yesterday, it'll have to be “prepared”... fried, boiled, cooked some-how... will have to attend to that SOON. But for now... and hour's nap is on the agenda. - Mimou has just come in and is on his little bed... the sweet-heart. We'll snooze together. - 15.32 Up from a nap with Mimou at my head. He'd made himself most comfy in the space between the pillow and the head-board... and PURRED like an old diesel engine. WHAT a sweet-heart. - We were RUDELY awakened by the SLAMMING of the kitchen door. The phone-bitch delivered the bill! Seriously. SLAMMED the fucking door! Savages... Well no, BELOW BENEATH savages. - 17.43 At about 16.00 I jumped to the kitchen, through the rest of the balogna into a pan of water, grabbed 2 rolls and mustard, went back to the kitchen, got dinner for Mimou, took the balogna from the pot, cut it in halves, put it and mustard on the rolls, rinsed the pot, put it away, sprayed Lysol into the air to kill the smell of the cooked balogna. Came to the room, stuffed the “sammiches” down m'throat, cleaned the little plate from which I had my “sammiches”, everything's settled again. Meanwhile... no sign nor word from the Mme. And I'm about to have another lie-down. It's chilly in here, and the snow is STILL coming. - 20.45 So moments ago I'm sitting at the table in the little room, singing along with “Midnight Mary” when Ms. Hallie comes into the room! How wonderful to see her! I go to the kitchen, just because, and she's IMMEDIATELY on the phone calling “I just wanted to let you know I made it back OK.” Yeah? Never mind your own fucking Hell-hole. Never mind that. Selectively inconsiderate qunt. And the first thing *I* hear is “He has to hire somebody to clean that apartment or....” Or what? Nothing. Just more whining, and bull-shit when it comes time to re-new the lease. Please! If *I* didn't clean this shit-hole twice weekly on average, THIS would be identical to up-stairs... if not worse. Next item: “It's not really so cold tonight. It was 18 in the truck. Compared to other days, that's a heat wave.” In other words: I'm not going to keep the stove burning. But when I didn't offer to get more wood into the kitchen (and the “bins” are empty), she went to the garage. And as she was in the garage, I came back to the room... and closed the door... primarily to warm it up in here. - Quite honestly, I've been considering having a beer and just might. I'm to understand that she'll be off to her “Lis” to fix dinner tomorrow. A little “Jesus” in the morning and Ms. Lis in the after-noon. That's nice though. At least I don't have to concern myself with being out and away for most of the day. (Monday I'll go wash the truck and get more snax for the little ones... that's my intention.) - Now? Back to what-ever for how-ever long or short the time. HLS commented “Well, I guess the only thing to do now is go to bed.” Well? Go. Bye. Good. None of my concern. My ONLY concern was that you managed to make it back... with Hallie! - 23.53 Time for vinegar and to bed. - More snow in tomorrow's forecast. Well... fuck that. Set my sights on Monday and I'll get my-self un-dressed.

Sun.03.Feb: 0.07 Just in from smoke... pondering the new mail box. It would be fun to put one up, screw the mail service for the house. It would be a delight to screw Shedrick though. Monday's coming... there's still a day. - The worst bit right now is, I've had my vinegar and smoke and I'm not tired! Doesn't that figure. But I would like a trip to the loo. BMs... at the worst-possible time. - 2.04 and the music files are re-named and merged. Next step: sort them ... AGAIN. But not now. Now it's time for a nap! (Thankfully she'll be off to Jesus by about 9.30 and back by about 11.00 or so... then off to her Lis. I MIGHT be able to nap during the day! BUT... I HAVE to get FOOD!) - 10.22 WELL! It wasn't intentional but I'm NOT complaining... I slept-in until 10.05! YES I DID! I heard the 2 alarms this morning, 8 and 8.30, and thought I was “dozing” for a few moments. Woke up, silent hole, checked the temperature in the room.. .27°!!! Imagine THAT! Then checked the time. WOW! So I got up to check to see if anybody else was in the place... only Mimou! Sitting at the kitchen window. The kitchen is a complete mess, wood shavings and ash, shit from end-to-end, and just Mimou and me in the place. How wonderful! And her Jesus-meeting is only just begun. I've an hour with-out her. Oh what a beautiful morning. And with that, I've already had coffee, vitamins, smoke, pee. And Mimou is about the place some-where. I managed to sleep in! For all the good it does, really. Truth is, I could go right back to bed. But that's “normal”. Anyway... I should think of getting something to eat for some point during this day. I wish I knew whether or not she'd be returning before heading off to “fix dinner for Lis”. Oh well... it's been made quite blatantly more than obvious that I need not be informed of such things. So, I'll just live as I do... Surely she's all bent out of shape about something, my presence here for one thing. Let it roll... and do what must be done until... - Now... on with the rest of what-ever this day will bring. - 11.33 WELL A NOTE: Just went to the kitchen, to toss my “papers” into the stove (which is not stoked, of course, in spite of the temperatures still below freezing), and what, to my wondering eyes should appear but Ms. HALLIE! SHE'S HERE! I'M CHARMED! As it were. No words of “return” estimates but then, I'm not worthy of such consideration. AND ALL OF THE WOOD IS NEATLY STACKED IN THE GARAGE! AND THE GARAGE FLOOR IS SWEPT! I'M AMAZED! (Of course, she'll be paying for this service this time. Good. The only way she'll learn... though there is the point of fact that there are “uneducables” and she's the matriarch of said... the “value of services” she's rolled along... *FREE-RIDING* ... as the beneficiary there-of for some years. Oh well. Meanwhile, I toddle and gimp about on a broken foot (as she whines about an alleged “cracked rib”). Never mind. Just never mind. - Second coffee. - I threw a piece of wood into the stove, just on account of because. And the plough is scraping the other-wise simply wet roads. I just CAN'T understand any of this, and that's the major cause of difficulties for me. What I NEED to do is stop trying to understand, and let it all roll as it has, as it does, as it always will do. - On with the day... what-ever that may become. - 11.41 She's back. Just rolled in as usual, all SO BUSY because she has to make dinner for Lis. Honestly... Franchement. Fuck it. - 19.05 She left at shortly after 17.00 (for a dinner she was to serve at 17.00... moron). But, amazingly, she brought in more fire-wood for the stove for when she's gone (as if I'm going to stoke the damned thing). It wasn't much after she drove out of the drive when I headed to the store for a tin of Chunky soup, bag of rolls, bag of dill crisps and Little Debbie oatmeal cremes. Gimped my way back. My foot was so sore from the cold, tossed the soup into a bowl, got dinner for Mimou, crumbled a roll into the soup and sat to watch the last 20 minutes of Guttfeld. After, rinsed the bowl and spoon, put them up and got to raising Mimou's bed in the little room so he's more in line with the top of the head-board of the bed and not so “alone” in his little space. This way, if he comes in whilst I'm at the table, he can see me. (He's in the white room now... since his bestest friend and big sister is gone.) - And now, I've had a smoke, gotten the odd music files together, made a new list for comparison and I'm ready for another snooze. Tomorrow, I can take the truck to the wash, do what-ever and tomorrow night... shower. So there's no pressure. - Oh... she mentioned that she hasn't gotten the rent from up-stairs and that she still wants him to clean the place. Too bad I won't get to chat with him... mention the cleaning... en passant, as it were. Oh well... I've got more to ponder and deal with... mail. And I'm still in a position to screw the house around with that as well. I was thinking: the box will be on the Hanna Rd... THAT should make it difficult for any OTHER carriers who come to the office.... forever. Well... we'll see how it all turns out. - Right now... snooze. She won't be back for at least another hour. - Oh yes... and her cousines came to collect their parcels today. I was in the room, working on the files when she knocked. “Are you busy? There's somebody here who'd like to see you.” So I chatted wonderfully with Helene and Martine (I believe her name is) until they left. Mme. said that they wanted to see me because I was so nice to them when they were here last. Imagine that! I was “nice”. Yeah... because THEY were nice. But she'll never understand that. Anyway... Helene left an open invitation to drop by when I'm in the area. How lovely is that? Oddly enough, as I was having my smoke just now, I remembered the night I went to Flushing, from The Bronx to give Michael Hill a tin of chicken soup... at night, in Winter. There was a time when I was a good, caring, compassionate human-being. Fortunately, that person is almost dead now. - 20.04 I had the alarm set for 20.15 and BANG! She's back and I do mean with a BANG! Oh well... I got about 45 minutes' snooze anyway. So now... back to being awake for a little while. She's watching football. How... what-ever. I don't complain... she'll leave me alone.

Mon.04.Feb: 1.45 I got caught-up with the music sorting again and here we go again!!! NOW, hopefully, I'll be awake on time for what-ever. Sadly, she'll be here all day. And too, the weather looks better for Tuesday for the truck wash. Oh well... - 2.04 Had my vinegar and last smoke... time to try for a nap - 8.16 up at 8.10 and apprently somebody's here, porch-stomping... Perhaps "Brad"(ley) for his "mon"ey? Ca't say as I blame him. (I'm wondering if I'll be getting the 100 this month again... since it goes back into the hole anyway.) Too early. Just finished coffee. - 8.22 And "Brad"ley's leaving. Take the cheque and RUN... or wait, there's more chatting. Probably more about the garage door that's still standing there, waiting to be installed. "Window World said they'd be back to install it." (about a week or so ago). But they never said when. They're also the folks who came to install the windows pup-stairs, in November, and forgot the loo window (though they charged for it), then came back recently, with the wrong window. Rick Jones said HE'D be here to install. No call-No show there. So? Yep... WHAT-ever. - 23.42 And I just don't know where the day went! I spent MOST of it working on the music, as usual. HLS departed, with a freshly-baked pie (of course) and a kitchen in disarray (of course) at about 16.45. - Funny anecdote: Her cousine Luc, sent her a text, in French, that she wanted translate, so she asked ME to help her with it! IMAGINEZ-VOUS! So, I simply put it through the "Ggl" translate on her lap-top and VOILA! DONE! She was amazed! (I received a message from her later saying that Luc was SO impressed. Well... I've half a mind to drop by chez Luc and tell her... perhaps on one of my "excursions".) I CAME THROUGH FOR THE OLD QUNT YET AGAIN! (Yes, "free-ride" and useless.) - Meanwhile, she left and I cooked the rest of the spaghetti with butter for "meal". It was "filling". - AND... I stoked and started the wood-stove! She REFUSED to keep a fire in it because the temperatures were reaching just under 30F! Moron! It was DAMP as all Hell in here! The stove is roaring at the moment. - And so, other than that, I watched a bit of TV this evening, with the little ones in company in the living-room. We enjoy our company. - Out-side, the snows are melting. I've got a 4-hour "window" to get the truck cleaned tomorrow along with phoning about flats in NY and pursuing the PO Box issue (that I believe is almost in vain, but I'll do it any-way... just on account of because, at this juncture). - Now? I've had my vinegar and SHOULD get to sleep. - OH! HLS HAD to tell me ALL about the "rent situation" up-stairs. Mr. Dimballs claims he remains ill. She continues to insist that she'll tell him to clean his place. Then tells me that her electric bill was just over 400$ this month, NEVER been that high before, but that he keeps the lights on through day and night. I mentioned that Pammie had mentioned it a couple of times. (Little to the fact that, because of the bitter cold here of late, I've had the radiator up full for several days, but even that wouldn't shove the bill THAT high... on its own, to be sure.) I don't know WHY she feels compelled to tell such shit to me. I reinforced the point that I will NOT take his rent money from him. Just to be certain about it. She said she told him she'd be back on Thursday. (I swear, if given the chance, I'll talk with him... IF given the chance... which is highly doubtful.) - Anyway, I should be in the bed with-in the hour and there's a little more dabbling I want to do with today's music files before retiring. - Shame, really, but when she's not here, I don't like going to bed early (or on-time) because it's such a pleasure to be awake and about with-out the stress. Oh well... Oh well... one day.

Tue.05.Feb: EIGHT WEEKS SINCE THE TOE-BREAK!!! - 1.21 And I CAN'T deal with the music files any more! - Imagine, today... 8 weeks of this broken toe AND IT STILL HURTS! Looks like it's going to be another 4 weeks at least. And all I can remember about it all is “You have to be more careful.” Constant reminder. - And now? I'm going to BED! That's the end of THIS. There'll be a “Wake-up Call” at about 8.00. - 1.46 Looks like I lost the flat in Champlain but there are 4 listings in RP. Sent e-mail to one (that didn't have a number), 2 are listed by that “Heidi” who lists rather often. The other is a “Gary”... “but the bridge”. Hopefully not the place that used to be listed with a “802” number. We'll see... 'll ring them later. MUST GET A NAP! - 8.21 and sure enough, came the “call” at about 8.00... “MERROW”. By 8.10 I was up and about, loo, the serve breakfast. Re-start the stove, smoke, rinse the clench-guard. I got up feeling rather well-rested, some-how. I'd very much like to go back to sleep for a while, but then, there's a part of me that doesn't want to. The porch thermo reads 40F, it's grey out there, the drive is frozen packed snow. A bitch to get out of, to be sure, but the road appears to be just wet. Truck wash today. And I have to stop and get Hallie more snax. Hopefully all will go and be well. - Oh... météo says it's 7° out there and 6° is the high for the day. I've got until about 13.00 to get out of here and back again before the rain comes and then goes back to snow. Breather. - There's the PO, and a couple of flats to call on about today too. But at the moment, there's “the” morning loo, 2nd coffee, magnesium... and right now, I'd like to just sit in a corner for a while. Ah... “morning”. But... I'm up and out of bed. That's a start. - 8.41 Not sure whether or not today's “Recycling”, I checked the on-line journal to find that I hadn't split Mon.21.Jan from Tue.22.Jan! WELL! THAT'S been corrected now. Easy-peasy. Ah, technology. But yes, today IS “recycling”. Damnit. Oh well. Gets me up and dressed and out and about. Any incentive... I suppose. - 10.25 AND WE ROLL!!! (Don't want to but...) - 15.26 And JUST getting to sit at the table, as the jammies are dried, the sherpa is in the wash... there's a stack of wood in the kitchen, (the floors need a Hoover!) and what-ever will be, will be, the present's not ours to see, Kay Sarah, Sarah. Anyway... I made “the run”... got back at 13.25 to find somebody (Rick Jones) parked in the drive as I came round the corner. Stopped the truck, put it into reverse to come round the Highgate St. way and it STALLED! Wouldn't start immediately either. NOW I'm fucking worried about THAT! BUT... the trip? Went immediately to Walmarde where I blew almost 40$ (out of the wind-shield money... fuck me) on snax for Hallie and Minou.... and some “good food” for Minou and a new toy for him. 10$ of it went to me for a new t-shirt (Dickie) and another box of bandages for the toe. Nice... I put money into this house-hold and in return, receive something quite worse than SHIT! But... at least the little ones will be (are?) happy. Fuck HER! - Next... to the Mobil to wash the truck and thankfully, the fellow already in the bay came to tell that the fucking thing wasn't working! HE'D blown 5$ on it! So... *I* figured I could go to Enosburgh, use the wash there, since HLS said they had the hoses, and stop at Hannaford's there. Right. Drove ALL the FUCKING way to Enosburgh to find... NO FUCKING HOSES! ONLY THE AUTO! And I don't want that on my cracked wind-shield! FUCK! Time, gas, mileage... FUCKED! I went to Hannaford's to get more frozen chicken, ice cream, A coffee, some apple things for later... put on the FS card and now I'm down to 20-something for the rest of the month on THAT! FINE! - Into the truck and back to the hole. - Now... Rick was here to install the new door in the garage. Poor guy. He'd told the old qunt he'd be doing “in-side” work in the cold weather and sure enough, the first day of relatively warm (it's about 40F) weather, here he was. Ah... the door frame got warped, it'd been sitting up-side down all the while, snow, rain, ice... but he did a great job... considering. Good to see him again though. We chatted. I “let him in on” what to expect from her, where “work” is concerned. WHAT-EVER. - And then I stacked some wood in the kitchen... for ME. Rick says their stove is “rolling”. Yes well, THEY understand that one can't let a house get cold. SHE, on the other hand, understands NOTHING of the sort. So, fine, well and anyway... the door is up. Now it needs a knob. What-ever. - Meanwhile, I went to fetch the recycle bin (that's gone anyway) and Jess came cross the street and we CHATTED! “Old chums” and all. Another flake. But it was “pleasant” and he now knows about the broken toe/foot, as does Rick. - Oh... funny... says Rick, part of the reason the door doesn't fit right is because somebody ran into the garage. When I looked at the phone company and said I mention no names, I told him about the tyre on the truck. “One wonders how such a thing could happen and WHO might do such a thing.” said I. Said Rick, “One wonders. But one doesn't say.” Nope. But though one wonders, two KNOW. - And so, on that note... - I had to “re-verify” my “forward” number for Skype today... the 50729 worked (thus far anyway). Phone service is still up and running. There's something “nice” about it all. - And now... to the floors. - I still have to call about the flats in RP too. - 16.19 Hoovering's done. Tea water is on the boil. The sun is shining. FUCK! Perfect day for a car-wash. Yep... Perfect day for it... if only. Fuck. - 16.42 FRIDAY... 16.00... RP! 2 PLACES TO SEE. Not my fave bldg. in town but... Heidi was sweet and so... And Friday's supposed to be good weather! Truck wash and home-hunt! YAY ME! - 23.25 SHOWERED AND EVEN THE LEFT FOOT HAS BEEN WASHED TONIGHT... WITH-OUT THE BANDAGES! (The old dressing wasn't as horrid as it was the last time I changed it, and there's just a bit of old skin left from what had been peeling off. To be quite honest, the toes are looking quite “regular” in the flip-flops. I'm going to let it all dry properly before putting on the next dressing, which will be on until tomorrow night when I'll shower again, and change it for (Friday's jaunt) the next couple of weeks anyway. I've decided to leave it all as is for at least another 4 weeks... just to be sure there's no “jagged edges” that might come through. Besides, it's still just a bit painful so... I don't want to be crippled for the rest of my life... no doubt I'll have to limp, but NOT crippled. “The rest of my life”... thankfully there's not all that much of that to be concerned about.) - AND NOW I'M HAVING A “50” TOO! IT ACTUALLY TASTES EVER-SO DELISH! - Clothes are in the washer, the little ones have gone to bed. Oh yes... and I've trimmed the beard and moustache too! May as well TRY to look a tad “presentable” for “Heidi” on Friday. (Oh that's too close to a rhyme, that is.) - And so, as the night draws toward the next day I have to think: Friday is supposed to be OK weather, good for a truck washing... before going to a house-hunting. So today turned out OK. On Friday, I can pop into the wash in Swanton en route to NY! Works well.

Tue.06.Feb: 0.25 SENT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DENIS, AT MIDNIGHT
Also, just ordered another sherpa from e-bay, on the NEW COMMUNITY card. 24,45USD and the one at Costco was 19. “Free” shipping on the order. And I found them on-line else-where for as much as... 80USD! Anyway... let's see the quality of the “new” one. It's due on the 17th. - Meanwhile, the clothes are in the dryer. I've finished my “50”. The house is still. -8°/-11° out there now. -7° for Tuesday's “high” then 3 and 5 for Thursday and Friday... sun for both of those. OH, that Friday's weather is good! PLEASE? (I know I can't afford to take a flat on Friday, but it'll feel better to know that I'm out there looking... and, since it appears that “Heidi” has “properties”... it would do me well to be “known”. Maybe I'll find a little place in RP to stop for a bit to eat as well... get to “know and be known”? Couldn't hurt. It would also do me good to spend a bit of time there... get to see the village as it is. I know it isn't ALL like “Joanna and Dick... or Dave or what-ever”.) Anyway, it's good to know there's another sherpa coming, and still in time for the cold weather. How nice... at last, again, in my existence, I can have something “nice” to keep me warm... when I need “warm” the most. - The toe is doing well... still in the flip-flop. A touch on the “touchy” side but no complaints. I'll “bind” it before going to bed anyway. - 1.13 Wash is done, lights are out, the little ones are on the sofa... I'm having 2nd “50” and will be off to bed soon. Have re-dressed the toe, until tomorrow night's shower (I HOPE), had to put the Ace bandage back on for “support”. Tight, but... we do what we must. - 1.32 Wash is done. Finish my 50 and off to bed... hopefully to sleep... for 6 hours. Thankfully, nothing on the agenda for the day except the garbage. YAY... I suppose. - 2.32 and I'm down to about 5 hours' rest... if lucky. Oh well... I'm showered... my clothes, jammies and bed-things are clean, the room is warm and dry. All is well anyway. - 9.42 already! And yes, at about 8.00, came the “Morning Meow”. But I managed to doze until 8.45 anyway. And now, the “morning routine” is done, including garbage to the curb on this other-wise crisp morn. (And I'm sneezing like insanity again... I trimmed the moustache. Same shit happened the last time I trimmed it. I wonder WTF is going on here.) - Quite the DREAM during the “nap” of the night:
Flat-related. Something about moving out of one flat and into another, in the same building. I'd gotten a 2BR, moving from a studio, and, apparently, somebody else had been promised or rented (not sure) the same flat. The other guy was a burly sort, “connected” with/to some sort of organised crime syndicate. He wasn't happy about the transactions, nor was I. But I was given the new place, on a higher floor, and he was given another 2BR but it was filthy, and in dire need of cleaning. After having moved in and settled, I met with some folks and was off to work in the morning and had to pass through the hall-way by the other flat. Some people were gathered in and around, in the hall-way and such. One woman (the proprietresse or something) came along, said to a fellow “Glove! Glove!” and the fellow took a glove from the box of gloves, repeating “Glove! Glove!” “It's really revolting in there.” said another. And all the while, I was ill-at-ease, fearing some sort of retaliation against me for having take the flat the other guy had wanted. The proprietresse tried to assure me “You got the one assigned to you. There's nothing that can be done to change it. You didn't 'take' it. It was offered to you.”
Now, I can understand the flat, the moving, changing from a 1BR to a 2BR. The chat with Heidi yesterday, the 2 flats in the building in RP... one, she described as “It's just enough space. It's a '1BR' apartment. We have a 2BR in the building, if you want more space.” At “last smoke” I thought: taking a 2BR is better because if I take the 1BR, somebody like Dimballs could move in. If I take the 2BR, it leaves the 1BR. Not, mind, that I've any intention of taking either... I just want to see what's available in town and start being “pro-active” in the searching. Still, it's obviously on my mind. As for the “Glove! Glove!”, it's probably the nonsense up-stairs and the “concern” about moving into a building/house where the likes of that is already present. Well, no matter. There we have it. - Meanwhile, a check of the weather forecast: Friday's changed. Still above freezing but “rain and snow”. How charming. Here we go again... a trip to NY... in the snow. Well, I know I can do it, even in HORRIFIC white-outs and the likes. And it's only to RP this trip. Not really a problem. And the drive will help with the after-wash wetness, if there's a wash at all. - And so, the little ones have been out twice this morn. The garbage is at the curb. The stove has been re-started. I've been to the loo once and could use a second trip. I've had first coffee. Things are re-settling. And me? I'm about to go back to bed for at least another hour (I hope). 3.00-8.00... only 5 hours of “snooze”... Another 3 hours would be nice but... it's already 10.04. There's another day slipping by (and there isn't all that much wood in the stove anyway). Oh well... I DID think: Nothing pressing on the agenda. That's a plus. - 11.57 Noon... and the morning is gone, the day, slipped away, and the nap did not “good” at all. The little ones are back out in the barn and yard and here I sit... in a quandary, a “fog” of sorts, knowing I should be doing something, wanting to do something, and yet, wanting nothing more than another nap. - Oh, and during the night (as it were)... more SPASMS... but ONLY of the foot.... the LEFT foot, of course. - ***** BUT... THE NEWS ***** A REPLY TO MY MESSAGE OF MID-NIGHT TO DENIS ***** A SIMPLE “HEART” ***** BUT A REPLY ***** AN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF RECEIPT OF MY MESSAGE ***** AND A CONFIRMATION THAT HE'S STILL AROUND AND ALIVE ***** AND THAT'S ALL I REALLY NEEDED ANYWAY ***** I'd JUST begun to some-what doze when I heard the “clink” of the phone. Annoyed, I got up, got the phone and THERE it was! 10.19... The Heart. That's all. And that's all that was needed. Yes, I wonder where he is, why he's “occupied”. But at least I know he's got the phone and is able to read and reply to messages. Now... let's see if I get a call. I'm not counting on it, but... - 16.09 Up from another nap and an another DREAM:
In a very large, finely-furnished home, grey wall-to-wall carpeting, large stair-way to the 2nd floor where I had a room. It was our parents' house, but in the dream, I suspected that they'd gone and left it to sister (Cyndi... actually, in the dream.) There was a prevailing sense that she was trying to throw me out for some un-known reason. In the back yard, I had the Silverado. Parked at the end of a walk (much as it is here). C. was quite buy, preparing some sort of major dinner, as if “celebratory”. I'd come down-stairs at one point, passing the kitchen where I saw, at a glance as I passed, much goings-on in the kitchen in prep for the dinner. There were several people in there, and much making of merry. I went to the back door and couldn't see my truck. But in the yard, by the “green-house” (as is here), a black pick-up was parked. I couldn't see my truck and panicked that it had been moved, with-out my knowing. Where I thought I'd parked, was the front “cab” of a Chevy truck, an old, faded green, stuffed with 4 old dining-room, chairs with faded green upholstery! For some reason, I thought they were being brought for me, to furnish the place “they” were going to put me into. At first glance I thought it was my truck then realised it was green, not grey-silver and then saw mine, where I'd left it. Looking at the front yard, there were about 5 cars parked, on the lawn, close to the house. Nice cars, late model. Black, white, dark blue, grey and red. Friends of C. who'd come to the dinner. I went back into the house and as I crossed to the stairs to return to my room, I climbed the wide stairs and thought “I bet they left the house to her and she's plotting with them to throw me out of here.” I had no place to go to and started to wonder what I was going to do about the whole thing. The parents wouldn't defend me and if they'd given her the house, there was nothing I could do to fight to stay. As my anxiety increased in the dream, I suddenly realised that I needed to wake-up to get out of the dream and did.
Now... WHAT, IN FUX NAME is in my head now? Second dream about being in a place where somebody wants me out, the anxiety of being removed from a place. I can't help but wonder if it has anything to do with Friday, with the involvement of looking for a place, the anxieties of “rent” and “utilities”, the expenses on a “fixed income”. Or... are these ”premonitory” dreams? Is there, in fact, some sort of conspiracy in the making to throw me out of here? I can't help but wonder. I also wonder why I'm dreaming so much? The vitamins? General anxiety? Well... only time will tell. - Meanwhile, another day has all but passed and nothing has been accomplished with it. - Just before having this lie-down, I had 2 rolls, toasted, with a glass of V8. For “meal”, it's going to be the one piece of chicken left from yesterday, one roll... ice cream (and there's a Whoopie Pie in the fridge as well). I'm not going out for more food. At some point, I'll have to get something for tomorrow... but maybe there'll be something I'll need to get, some reason to take the truck out for a spin. I'll get something then. For now... it's been an “off” day. Not enough sleep last night is partly to blame. I'm just exhausted. - 19.32 Just about tired enough to go take my shower and Dimballs is making a wash. There goes my hot water until about 21 or 22.00. Fuck. I probably should get use to it though. Living in another building probably won't be much (if any) better. Add to that, a tooth-ache in the split tooth, upper left. How charming. A wonderful wind-down to an other-wise wasted day. Oh yes, AND add to THIS, FROZEN RAIN! Yes indeedie, the world is now coated in a shiny sheet of solid, slippery ICE. Hopefully THS cold wet will pass by Friday (Thursday night). - 23.51 WELL! I was out of the shower by 23.13, thanks to waiting to make sure there was enough hot water so as not to be doused with COLD mid-way. And now, I've fucked one dressing and had to use one box of pads for the one that's on there now (and will be on there at least for 2 weeks... I should think). But the toes are bound. I've had a smoke. - The roads are being “scraped” now... it's nothing but ice all over the damned place and tomorrow's high is expected to be 3° and cloudy (chill of 2°). Friday's holding at 5° (chill of 1°... not good) and rain/snow. Oh well... nothing that can be done about it. - I've had nightly vinegar. The under-things and flannel are in the 2nd dry. Lights are off. Stove is stoked. All that's left is a hopefully restful sleep through the night... SOON. - No further message from Denis though. I still wonder how he is, where he is. I've no doubt he's got something medical... especially with all the beatings he'd taken... not to mention the hepC that brought him and Mum so “close” in hospital. It all reminds me so much of Mark (I WISH I could remember his last name... it'll come back... one of these days) and the “MS secret”. Oh well. No big deal, really. I've been “alone” for so many years... I couldn't really trust Denis... or ANYBODY, for that matter, enough to get “hurt”. - So anyway... I might treat me to one more smoke before bed. I shouldn't. 4 packs in the house and 2 in the truck... I need to get back to not smoking so many... because of the finance involved. - None-the-less... - I see it's -1° even with the chill and there's “Neige en cours” some-where. Great! Neige on top of glâce! Nice night for a drive... NOT! - Oh... and I've got all the snax in the room... there'll be no “dishing”, williy-nilly of THIS batch. (I'm just curious to see if I'll get the 100$ this month. If so, more snax for the little ones! And those new “meals” that Mimou seems to LOVE so very much. (I'm the one who gives the most snax. But they deserve to have them all the time... not just when I'm about. Oh well. THEY'RE going to be the heart-ache when I leave here.)

Thu.07.Feb: 8.44 ANOTHER 5-HOUR NAP! Yes, I was in bed by about 1.30, BUT THE DRAFT IN THE ROOM WAS HORRIFIC! AND SO COLD THAT IT ACTUALLY KEPT ME AWAKE. The last time I looked at the clock, it was 3.23! I got up, pee'ed, came back into the room and closed the door. The rest of the house was as it normally is, just on the “chilly” side, as usual. But this ROOM! COLD! Closing the door helped a bit and I managed to doze off. Next thing I hear is Mimou, out-side the door, howling, followed by the 8.00 alarm. I semi-dozed until I figured it was time to get up to let them out and get them breakfast, so... at 8.32 the morning commenced. And let me say: THE WORLD IS ENCASED IN SOLID ICE! THE DRIVE, THE YARD, THE PAVEMENT... JUST SLICK WITH ICE, UNDER GREY SKIES. It's -5° out there now, supposed to get up to 2° by about 14.00, but for now, it's treacherous! Poor Hallie is out there, trying to navigate. They've both had breakfast though. I've had coffee and smoke. The stove is re-stoked. But it's amazingly horrific all round the house. I've little doubt the truck is frozen shut too. Oh well... it's February. - And as for me? Hah! And as for me... I've no way to get the ice off the back walk and the garage door is closed... and there's ice on the garage floor as well. If HLS decides to toddle in, it's going to be quite the “something”. - 9.50 The world is still iced and that Whoopie Pie I had last night is ripping my guts into shreds this morning. I should know better. But I don't, obviously. And the house is still. I wonder about the truck. I wonder about tomorrow. I wonder about eating today. I wonder. - 13.13 Well... I was in the loo for the 2nd round when... it rolled in. Must've been about noon-ish. “Pam tells me I have a new door.” PAM? Noticed? Ah... so I say “Rick came to put it in.” IMMEDIATELY it snaps “NO HE DIDN'T!” Oddly enough, I TOLD Rick she'd not know it was him. Proved correct... AGAIN! Anyway, we've chatted a bit. I managed to get another bit of a nap in. Just told her about the cold last night. Of course... the words sink into a deep miasma. No sense, no sense at all. - The ice seems to be melting a bit. I'll have to try to start the truck. - Tomorrow, I'll be off to the wash... and beyond. No need for explanations. We shall see... we shall see. - I'm tired. I COULD nap again but I don't want to be up too late tonight. And I'll have to ponder food... some-where, some-how. - 16.39 And a “half” turkey-provolone sammich, Devil Dogs, chocolate milk. FOOD! She's out on the recliner and I hobbled to the store. - Got the poor truck started earlier and drove over to the PO for the post. - Note of the day: THE SHERPA IS DUE TOMORROW! IMAGINE THAT! - But for now... time to eat and work a little on the G's WP blog... announce the forum and such. After that? I don't much care. The world is still encased in ice, the temperature is where the ice is wet... and I've nothing to do... She bought more ice-melt... and I'm not in the mood. - 23.23 Imagine that! Well! It's been quite the evening. First of all, the sammich certainly did the trick for food for the day. Very nice indeed. Second, I DID manage to get a nice hour's nap in this evening, right after eating. Thirdly, I up-dated the G's blog on WP, announcing the forum and such. And THEN... on Minds, I got the nicest support message from the “HelpAndSupport” about not being able to create a “wallet” on the G's channel... BUT... SOME-HOW, the word got out and about and the “tokens” have poured in! I've gone from NONE to 17 in a matter of moments! And other channels have since been discovering G's! Imagine? After all these months of pretty much talking to my-self and re-posting music... It's almost breath-taking! AND, I've gotten a GMX account for G's as well! I'm just rather amazed, and almost over-whelmed! - Meanwhile, the ice is melting out-side, hopefully nothing will replace it over-night and tomorrow the truck will run to NY and back and all will be well come Shabbat. (Almost a shame that I'm really not looking to take a flat in the building, nor could I afford to. But it's all a start! And tonight's response to the G's channel on social media is promising and encouraging.) - Now... I NEED to get things wrapped-up here. - OH OH OH OH OH BEFORE I FORGET... At about 20.00 I'd stepped out for a smoke (just having wakened from the nap) and as I come into the room from the porch, I see, under the door, a little white paw. MIMOU! So I opened the door, chatted with him, he chatted back and I see HLS flounced in the royal recliner. Says she “Oh, he's been so affectionate tonight.” Yeah? Well try being “affectionate” BACK, moron. All he wanted was a bit of a cuddle, and so, he came to the room here for me! PRECIOUS! I AM loved by the little ones. And when I went out of the room, Hallie followed be about too. Now, either it's the snax or a true love or... they know about tomorrow and such. But what a wonderful gift from Mimou. - Now... I need to wrap things up, try for a nap. I need to be chipper tomorrow... truck wash and trip to NY (and perhaps, finding some little place to grab a bite to eat whilst there). And if the timing is correct, the new SHERPA! Oh my!

Fri.08.Feb: 1.42 I'm about to regret this being awake again at this hour. But there was a sudden out-burst of support for the G's Minds account... with TOKENS tonight! And subscribers and such. And that led to a quick check of the site and posting and thanks and well... here I am, still sitting at this lap-top. But, I have to say, it's all done wonders for the general mood. Thankfully, “the day” won't MUST begin until later on. I just hope that the weather holds until it's all done. Right now, it's dripping out there. The snow and ice are melting. It's supposed to be fairly good for most of the day. And too, although I should make a “good impression”, in the even that “Heidi” has any connections in town, I'm not going to “impress” to the extent where it's a matter of tantamount import. Anyway, I really should see about getting SOME kind of rest. At least I don't have the 8am “wake-up”. - 9.01 and this is OK, I suppose. Getting to sleep, when I went to bed, was a bit difficult. Probably because of napping during the day. But I might have been asleep before 3.00. So I may have gotten about 6 hours' sleep during the night. My face could have used more, but I'm not complaining. I'm just up and out of bed and having my morning coffee. So there. - Météo says it's FIVE degrees out there and rain should begin soon. But the temperature is going to drop as the day goes along. -2° by 16.00 and a touch cloudy with a bit of sun. The rain is supposed to be gone by 10.00 (yeah, right). I was just thinking that the “schedule” might run: head for the car-wash at 13.30, get there at 14.00, stay until 14.30 (with washing and getting gas before NY), give an hour to get to RP, 15.30... that sort of thing. So there's no panic this morning no matter. Gee, it would've been nice to be able to toss a shower into the schedule... but then again... that's part of why I'm getting out of here... so I CAN “toss showers” into my schedule... and not just Mon, Tue, and Wed. nights. Oh well. William deBurgh sang: Just be thankful... for what you've got... and with that in mind, and the participation in the G's “Channel” last night... let's have a day! (Check to see where the sherpa is.) - 13.54 heading out in the wind, but sun and decreasing temperatures. - The sweat-shirt arrived... for 5 bucks more than Costco... the quality is SHIT! But... good enough for in-house, I suppose... if it lasts. - I'd rather take a nap. - 21.22 Up from a snooze because I seriously needed one at 20.11. Were it not for the COLD, COMING IN THROUGH THE WALL AGAIN TONIGHT, I'd probably just sleep through. But again, with the wind out there, the old breeze is blowing across my head and face again tonight, So? So. - That said... The sherpa DID arrive today... and what a bit of SHIT! It's a darker grey, to begin with, and I did a rather full comparison between this one at 24,45$ and the Costco at 19,95$: This one is a rag. Lighter weight weave on the fabric, the “ribbed” cuffs and waist are loose, the “sherpa” lining is thinner and lighter, the lining on the sleeves is thinner poly and the sleeves themselves let the cold through, the hood is lighter-weight fabric and sherpa. All told... fucking shit. But, I'll keep it for wearing in the house. Pisses me off though, to spend 5$ more for shit quality. I took photos and will be posting, if possible, with a full “review” on e-bay. Hey... it isn't the first time being fucked by on-line shopping... probably won't be the last. Thankfully it wasn't for very much money, though, ANY money is bad enough. - Well then... By about 14.30 I was out the door today... off to the car-wash in Swanton. As I drove along, out of Fuklin, the sun was shining round the clouds and the snow was falling all over the place! Temperature? About 2°. But I was out of the house, on the road and there was no turning back! I wanted to wash the truck and get to NY no matter what. - The “wash” cost me about 10$ in quarters but I got the hose to the truck and took the muck off, wash, rinse, a good application of that “wax” (which dribbled out the hose as it does, for some reason) and a quick rinse, allowing the excess “wax” to run along the bottom of the body. It didn't take all too long to get the truck done (and to blow that 10$) and I was on the road, in the sun-shine and the temperature dropping. - At the “T” in Alburgh, I stopped at the Mobil and gave them 20$ to break a 50 and decided that I'd put in the 98 octane for the quarter tank. Higher octane to run the engine hotter in this cold weather and just in case the tank wouldn't take the full 20$ in the mid-octane. Well! 15$ of 98 octane and I was in getting my 5-er in change! It didn't even take 20$ in the high octane to fill the tank! (Not to mention, since I don't spend 5s, it ups my “jar”. Money saved is money saved here.) It was, on the truck clock, only about 15.20 by now. Time wasn't rushing, by any means, and I was already in Alburgh. So I just got on the road and headed over to Rouses Point... by about 15.40, I stopped at Dollar General, just to have something to do. I was wearing the “Stanhope” boots and my left foot was starting to hurt a bit, but I went into the store, having nothing in particular that I wanted to buy. Walked out with a box of “Altoids” mints (which I do, from time-to-time, need, I admit), a box of non-stick pads for the next toe dressings, and one other little item that I obviously didn't need because I can't remember what it was! I got 3 items though... and I was out and off to see the flat. - Well, I got there only moments before Heidi arrived. She took me up to see the flats. Very tiny and strangely laid-out. Both are in the back of the building and the hall-way looks as if it's still under some kind of construction. The larger of the 2 looks out to the lake, from the bed-room. The “kitchens” are “galley”... no windows. The bath-rooms are small and no windows and both are a step up to get into. But tub with shower. That's nice. Even as Heidi said, they're “easy clean”, because they're small. The larger is the one I liked better, and it stunk of old cigarettes. She said there's a cleaning person coming in to scrub it down. It's also missing some ceiling tiles. Yes, drop ceilings. TO be honest, the only thing that impressed me was the low rent. 575$/month. Do I want either? No. Not really. But at least I'm looking and she gave me an “application”. Move-in is 575 for the rent, 775 for the security and done. So? 1350 and I could be in NY come month-end. Will I be? Not there. And she said that Rouses Point is quiet these days. Only 4th of July is any time when anything happens there. So the trip was worth it, even to learn about the town. Something to consider. - By 14.01 I was back in the truck and on the way back to Swanton... and Hannaford's where I got turkey cold-cuts, a bag of rolls, jar of Jiff peanut-butter, a tin of ravioli... meals for tonight and tomorrow evening. And my foot was PAINFUL by then, so I simply came back to the hole. By 17.30 I was back in and re-settled. The “day” was done. - But THE WIND TODAY! The truck was all over the road! Even with the weight of a full tank of gas. And the temperature dropped VERY quickly from the “balmy” 5 of the day to the zero of the evening. (Even as I type, at 22.12, the wind is BEATING the trees and house in a -5°, chill of -11°.) But the truck is always warm, despite the bad door seal, and I'm NOT complaining nor whining about any of it. I'm not walking in the cold these days, and I'll do what I must to keep it this way. - Well... I was no sooner getting ready to eat my ravioli when there was a knock at the door. HLS had gone up to get her rent and gave be the 100$. Hallie was with her and I said to Hallie “Get your pocketbook! We're going shopping for snax!” HLS said “That's to help with your wind-shield. You've done the floors, brought in the wood, now that's to help with the truck.” I let that all go and kept telling Hallie and Mimou we're getting “special snax”... and I said to HLS, ice melt... it's still only February. So my eating was delayed, I was invited to have a beer and some pasta. I had the beer, she had the pasta. We chatted about Dimballs. Seems he's actually “picked-up” in the living-room (he MUST have over-heard her at some point), she's already thinking “non-renewal” of the lease. I just suggested that she take more interest in the place up there. She said she'd almost rather not rent it at all, turn the thermostat to 45F and have done with it. Well? OK. (I'd almost expected her to say “You could take it.” But that would NEVER do at all!) - And so... with that, she went to the living-room and I came to the little room. I had my ravioli with 2 buttered rolls and the apple turn-overs I got at Hannaford's. - By 20.11 I was in bed for what was supposed to be a “snooze”. I'd set the alarm for about 45 minutes, but when the alarm sounded, I really wanted to just stay in bed, under the covers. But that damned COLD breeze on the head! Oh well. - And so, this brings us to here and now, at 22.37 AND...
***** ALL THE WHILE I'VE BEEN TYPING THIS, I'VE BEEN SENDING AND RECEVING MESSAGES FROM... DENIS!!! ***** HE'D SENT THE FIRST AT 22.01! I JUST HAPPENED TO SEE IT WHEN I CAME IN FROM THE SMOKE! OK. I HAVE TO WONDER WHAT STRUCK HIM THAT HE'D SEND WORD NOW, AFTER SO LONG. BUT THAT'S DENIS! “Some things will never change.” BUT AS THE WIND SLAMS ABOUT IN THE NIGHT, THE TEMPERATURES DROP BACK TO THE “WINTER OF THE NORTH”... THERE HE IS... TALKING “LOVE” AND THE YEARS GONE BY. WELL, WHAT-EVER, FOR ALL IT IS, HE'S STILL IN MY LIFE, STILL IN THIS WORLD, STILL ON THIS OLD PLANET, AND, AS JESS ALEXANT RECENTLY SAID “ABOVE GROUND”. AND I'M HAPPY WITH THAT. (It would be nice to be able to find a 2 bed-room flat and have him come up here... even for a while. I'm hoping.)
For now, I'm planning on a bit of soc.med. for a little while, drink my water. (My urine's been very clear again and I want to keep it that way.) It won't be too long and I'll be back in bed, trying for some sleep. Tomorrow, the house will be still again, HLS will be with her little “charges”. She's thinking of taking Hallie again. I said, earlier, when she'd mentioned taking Hallie, that she ought to be careful, since the home-owners don't want the dog there. But she'll do what she will... and when they finally sack her, she'll be miserable. But? Nothing can be done about it. - Now... on with the rest of what-ever. (And I see I'm back up to 10 pages on the lap-top Journal... time to put it all on-line... for safe-keeping... especially with this lap-top acting-up again lately.) - 22.53 Journals all done and on-line. And what will be a “final” message from Denis saying he wants me to call him “now”. I might still be “in love” but I'm not “out of my mind”. It's late... not to mention I haven't heard from him since his Aunt's wake. Hey... I don't ask where he's been, he doesn't ask how I've been... so “Newburgh”. But, that's the way Life is. I want to check my soc.med. and get a snooze in tonight. - (I have to ponder: HLS has her truck parked beside the cedars. I can only hope another one doesn't come down in this wind. I'll be strapped taking her to and from work! Mileage on my truck! And I really can't afford that now.) - 23.46 I ALMOST FORGOT: DURING OUR LITTLE “MEAL-TIME CHAT” THIS EVENING, WHILST DISCUSSING THE ISSUE OF Mr. DIMBALLS, HLS BLURTED

ALLEGEDLY BECAUSE THEY'RE SO FILTHY. WELL... FIRST OF ALL, FOR ALMOST 3 YEARS SHE *HAS* *GIVEN* A ROOM AND FREE-RUN IN HER HOUSE TO A “HOMELESS PERSON”! AND HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR THAT “HOMELESS PERSON” SHE WOULDN'T HAVE THE HOME SHE HAS TODAY. NOT TO MENTION, HER PROPERTY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN MAINTAINED, HER DOG WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN PROPERLY CARED-FOR, FIRE-WOOD WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN STACKED AND BROUGHT IN FOR HER, TREES WOULDNT HAVE BEEN TRIMMED, HER GARDEN WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ATTENDED (AS WE SEE FROM THE SUMMER PASSED), ELECTRICS WOULD HAVE GONE BAD, HER FURNACE WOULD HAVE EXPLODED, HOUSE-CLEANING WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN DONE... AND MORE. SECOND, SHE'S RENTED TO SOMEBODY WHO WASN'T “HOMELESS” AND NOW SHE'S GOT FILTH, DIRTY CLOTHES, ROTTING FOOD, BAGS OF GARBAGE ON THE PORCH, AND THE LIKES UP THERE IN HER “APARTMENT”. NOT TO MENTION THE MULTIPLE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IT COST HER TO MAKE THAT APARTMENT HABITABLE WHEN THE LAST NOT-HOMELESS FAMILY MOVED OUT. KRISTE! SHE TRULY *IS* MENTALLY DEFICIENT... NOT TO MENTION MORALLY AND ETHICALLY DEFICIENT.
Glad I recalled that.

Sat.09.Feb: 2.00 and here I sit again... up... later than I'd like. But at least the room is warmer. The wind is still howling out there, the temperature is still dropping. But the cedars are still standing and Mme.'s truck is in good order. - After the message about calling, from Denis, I turned the phone off, in case he called me. When I just turned it back on to transfer the photos of the new sherpa (which I have to wait, I'm told, 5 days before I can “review” for fucking e-fucking-bay) to the lap-top, there was a message: “Goodnite my love alws”. He's a love... in his own way. Fact is, we're both “old”, set, not the little folks we were “back then”, but... love is love and this one just never died... for me anyway... in spite of my cynicism. - And so, as the wind continues to bash about, the temperatures continue to drop, it's time for me to take a nap. I've already had the vinegar (and a leg spasm as I sat here on soc.med.). There's nothing left to do but “wrap it up”. In a few hours, Mme. will rise, toddle and bang about, no doubt, waking me, and then she'll be off and gone for the day... and if need be... I'll NAP! - 9.05 AND... it's already been “Quite The Morning”. Brilliant sun-shine all round, and the winds, they are a still a-blowin'. -10° out there. Not too bad. Could be worse. And HLS is off on the road... in a tow truck... from Stone's. She just left. But certainly not until raising Hell round the place. Yes, indeed... she was up at about 5.30 (as I recall the time when I looked at the clock, having been awakened by the bump, thump and clang of the wood-stove). I woke, looked at the clock and managed to get back to sleep until the 8.00 alarm, which I turned off and heard the BANG, THUMP, BUMP-BUMP-BUMP of the stomping about the kitchen. This was followed by repeated BLAM, BLAM, BLAM... of a window on the porch, blown open and being repeatedly slammed about in the wind. The “concerto” moved along to the SLAM! BAM! SLAM! SLAM! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! of slamming doors, primarily the kitchen, and the foot-stomping about the place. I'd NO idea what was going on, but I didn't bother to get up to inquire. Then, I heard the “Beep, beep, beep” in the yard, got up, peered through the curtain on the door... to see the tow-truck in the yard, and Mme. standing out there, in the breeze, as the little feller from Stone's hoisted her truck up onto the flat-bed. I returned to bed. No sense in me being up and about. Besides, I was rather tired. Shortly there-after, a “tappin' at m'door”. I ignored it. (I shall say I had the ear-buds in, being at the table, listening to music files... or something.) I waited a moment or some, then got up again, peered out the window. The truck was up on the flat-bed, Mme. got into the truck... They're off and gone. It was 8.46. Venturing out to the kitchen... no note nor word. None of my business, none of my concern, not my circus, not my monkeys. I found Hallie in the bed, Mimou appeared from some-where. I got on with my own “morning routine”. I'll assume the little ones have had breakfast by now. Surely, between all the door-slamming and foot-stomping, there MUST have been a moment's opportunity to give them breakfast. They've had “snax” anyway. And I've rinsed the clench-guard, the pee-bottles, had my coffee and vitamins and a smoke. Well? The cedar trees didn't come down in the wind. There's that. - Good mornin' America. How are ya? - Nice though, that I got about 6-plus hours of broken sleep anyway. Now we get to wait and see what Time will tell us... as the day rolls along. - Seriously... I can't be so bollocksed about it all. My truck got towed when the brakes went. Caleb brought it back. Towing again, when the tyre went. I went along... it cost me 40$. No company or “support” then either. When yesterday, I mentioned the pain in my foot from wearing boots, the “comment of concern” was “You might never be able to wear shoes again.” Thank you Mother Theresa Nightingale. But... the little ones are attended and, no doubt, I'll manage to replenish the fire-wood in the kitchen which has managed to be burned away in a mere day. But let's just never mind that. My contribution of support this morning is the fact that I wasn't in the way... tucked in my little room. And yes, yes, I do understand: YOUR life is so terribly difficult. It really is such a shame. - NEXT!

Sun.10.Feb: 1.00 on the number.... Well, I had 2 rolls with turkey for “meal” on what is now “yesterday”, and I've finished the Kraft peanut-butter since. HLS came rolling in at about 18.30 and thanked me for bringing in the few pieces of fire-wood that I'd pulled into the kitchen. Not too much though, because, as I'd thought, it was her first line of business: Stuff more wood into an already perfectly fine fire. We had a beer. She'd brought “Sheds”, chatted a bit. She rang “Caroline”. Seems Harold fell and fractured his neck and is in hospital in BTV. If he has needed surgery, there's a chance he'll either be on a respirator for the rest of his life or paralysed... unless the surgery is a complete success. Anyway, HLS will be meeting with Caroline today, after “mass”, for lunch and they'll decide whether or not to go together to visit. That's rather nice news for me... giving me a chance to “nap in” if I need. I've really nothing on my agenda anyway and would rather use “travel time” on Monday... to pass the day whilst HLS is in. - Pissed most of the day away on Saturday, on soc.med. Worked a bit on the music “art” files. But other-wise, just wasted it all. - Received a message from Heidi asking if I'm interested in the flat in RP. I'll have to reply today. - Meanwhile, I'm having the oddest PAIN in the upper thigh, right side! It feels like a “muscle spasm”, bolting pain, but it's also in the bone... similar to the pain I'd had in the left shin-bone some months ago. Can't figure it out. It comes then goes, but when it comes, it warrants a bit of a moan. Oh... between that and the chronic pain in the left side of the neck... I have to wonder. “Old”... that's what it is. - And now, I'm trying to decide between a “50” or the vinegar. Or... the sensible thing would be to try for bed. - Just in from a smoke... There's been QUITE the racket on the porch tonight. I wonder if it isn't the little squirrel. S/he was out there today, in the bird seed. I'm sorry I finished the peanut-butter... I'll have to think of a way to put some out there for the little one... well out of the way of Mimou. Of course, if it gets into the habit of eating, it'll stay around, and surely HLS won't attend to it, nor will she appreciate it, I'm sure. And I can't take it (or anything else) with me when I leave. Oh well... Best to leave it all as is I suppose. After all, it was my intervention that brought Mimou into the house... and I'm not so certain that his presence is appreciated. Such bull-shit. - Well? There was some activity on the G's “channel” today, and I posted quite a bit of 60s music. Keeping it active. (I'm transferring many of the “tokens” from the “Author” channel over there. Still no word on a remedy for G's... where “tokens” are concerned.) - And that's my “concerns” items for the beginning of yet, another day... the first “double-digit date” of the month. It won't be much longer now until “Spring” will be slammed on us... and the work that will come with. It's a torture, really, to think of being trapped here for that again. But in reality, the soonest I could possible escape now is March anyway... which is when the “Student Loan” fiasco should be at an end... IF there's any honesty in that “collection agency”... which I doubt. Once that's off the “default”, it'll make flat-hunting much easier. Maybe that's the “Divine plan” anyway. Meanwhile, I have to put up with what I must... I suppose. Hey! At least the web-sites aren't due again until next year. There's a nice relief. - Quick run to G's again and then... seriously... a nap! - 2.42 and not tired. I'm going to be quite sorry about this during the day... and I can only HOPE that “lunch date” leads to “visitations”. “Minds”... G's... that's what's done this. - 11.07 IMAGINE? I heard both alarms, 8 and 8.30 and snoozed... indeed. Yes I did... until... 10.41!!! Broken sleep, as it was, I managed to get almost 8 hours! It'll probably be Hell, trying to get to sleep at a “normal” hour tonight, but... I got my sleep this time. And the house is with little ones who are about. “Morning routine” is done, including a smoke in the -8°. But the sun is brilliant this morning and the day has commenced. What else is there to say? And there's still turkey and some rolls for something to eat before day's end. I suppose all is as “well” as it's going to get. - Text from Dorothy... “Sending love. I've been awful at reaching out. Are you frozen?” “Reaching out”? OK. If you insist. - Anyway... let's see what I can “do' with what's left of this day. - Going to give “slipper” a try on the left foot today try to move away from that “cast shoe” and into regular foot-wear. See how it works out. - Other-wise, a trip to the loo and that wraps that... for now. - 11.36 I'm in the little room, on-line, I hear Hallie, in the kitchen, whining a bit. I get up, let Mimou in, Hallie goes out... I look in the drive... HER truck is there. Now, I wonder: was it there all along or did she simply come back to the house with Caroline, get into Caroline's car and they're off to BTV? It's lovely, being slightly considered... to leave a word, or something. Well... never pass an opportunity to let somebody know they don't exist... or matter. It's quite lovely... O FUCK! She's here! - 11.54 “Lunch” was cancelled at 9.00 this morning so ... either stuck with this place or find another place to go to. I'm not in the mood. But thankfully, I'm dressed. I was pondering lounging... the bad news: Haven't been to the loo. O well... a day of constipation to come. Never mind. Just plod along. Fuck. - 15.35 Finally got to the loo at about 15.00 and had a brief chat with HLS. Another day pissed on soc.med. and now I want a nap... and I do believe I shall attempt; (I'll be sorry tonight but... naps are fine. It's what old folks do.) - 21.33 Well the day is done, the night is on and I spent a couple of hours in the living-room watching TV with the crew. It went well-enough. Not much discussion on much at all. Safe. I had to take Hallie out for “business”, of course, because HLS was ensconced on the recliner. But... never mind that. - Oh... I sent word to Heidi about not taking the flat under the guise of needing a few months to work round here. I thanked her for giving me the time. She actually replied “No trouble.” OK. At least she's got that much class, and I appreciate that. - BUT COMES THE MOMENT: Mme. HAS MISPLACED A BANQUE BAG THAT WAS, ALLEGEDLY, IN THE TOP, LEFT DRAWER OF THE DESK IN THE KITCHEN. “DID YOU GO ANY-WHERE DURINGTHE WEEK?” SHE ASKED, JUST AS WE WERE ALL GETTING READY TO GO TO BED. (IF IT WERE THAT IMPORTANT... ONE WOULD THINK SHE'D HAVE MENTIONED IT WHEN SHE REALISED IT WAS GONE?) ANY-WAY, SHE'S NO ACCUSING, I STRESSED THAT I LOCK THE DOOR EVEN WHEN I'M HERE AND SHE'S NOT BECAUSE PEOPLE TEND TO SIMPLY WALK INTO THE HOUSE TO LEAVE BILLS AND SUCH (AND I NOTED THAT I DON'T APRECIATE IT). OK. SO THERE'S A CHANCE IT FELL BEHIND THE DRAWERS, BUT I DON'T LIKE WHEN THINGS GO MISSING ROUND HERE. I JUST MAKE A NOTE OF IT TONIGHT BECAUSE.... - And so... another “note”: Sitting in the living-room, I had another “episode” of light-headedness and the inability to formulate sentences in my mind. It didn't last but moments but it happened. I'm still feeling a bit “off”, nothing serious. I should make notes for the physical? I don't know why... but it might be good to know what causes them... and, perhaps, a “prognosis”... just on account of... shit. - And now... back to the “cover art” for the music. A few more and then.. quick through the soc.med. No 3.00 to bed THIS time! To be sure!

Mon.11.Feb: 1.46 and... late again. - 8.02 and by 7.55 I was up and out of the bed. Why? Because! That's why. I should ring the USPS this morning. I'd like to get out of here for a few hours... with the 100$ that I should be putting back into the house (SNAX for the little ones). - I see a -13/-17° temperature awaits out-side that door this morning. 0° on Wednesday though.. with snow, of course. -10° for today's “high”. Delightful rolling weather. (But it would be good to start and run the truck anyway.) Quite frankly, I'd like to just get back under the blankets until she leaves but... Never mind... I'm up, I've pee'ed, had first coffee and vits. OH... and perhaps “inspire” HLS to search for her little green banque bag! That way *I* don't have to find it... just in case she's misplaced some of its contents... “in case”... “misplaced”... I KNOW, TOO WELL... how THIS story goes. - Oh well... almost time for a smoke. - The fucking morning has commenced. - Oh yeah... it was a bit of a struggle getting to sleep this morning... probably round about 45 minutes, at least. But... never mind. Carry on! - 19.31 She left out of here at about 16.00... I returnd to my music until just about 17.00 at which point I got up from the table PUT ON MY WORK-BOOTS AND WALKED TO THE STORE!!! IN MY WORK-BOOTS!!! FIRST TIME IN MONTHS!!! WAS IT PAINFUL AT ALL? ONLY JUST A LITTLE AND ONLY BY THE TIME I GOT BACK TO THE HOLE!!! BUT IT'S A BEGINNING. TWO DAYS OF NO ACE BADAGE AND WEARING SLIPPERS AND NOW... BOOTS!!!! And so, chicken fukkitz, rolls, cheese, ice cream (gone already of course), and some “Swiss Rolls” for later. Nice chat with Deb for a bit and back to the hole by about 17.10. Fukkitz in the nuker, make me two sammiches, served dinner to the little ones and watched “The Five”. After, it was time to attack the fucking shit-heap, dishes in the sink, rinse my bottles and clench-guard... etc. BUT... STACKED WOOK IN THE KITCHEN, AND RE-STACKED SOME OF THE WOOD IN THE GARAGE (certainly not more than will be needed for the next several days, to be certain). Watered the plants in the white room too. AND... am only JUST now getting done. And the floors still need cleaning, this room needs Hoovering, but I'm in no rush to do any. - Meanwhile, I was looking toward a shower at some point tonight but I'm tired and there's no room on the vanity for my toiletries... which is typical (and a constant reminder that I need to get the fuck out of here). - AND OH OH OH OH OH ... AS HLS WAS TODDLING ABOUT, PUTTING HER SHIT INTO THE TRUCK, I PULLED THE BOTTOM-LEFT DRAWER OUT OF THE FUCKING KITCHEN DESK AND THERE, ON THE FLOOR, UNDER THE FUCKING DRAWER... THE BLOODY “GREEN BAG”!!! SHE DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO GO LOOK FOR IT. FUCKING QUNT! BUT IT'S FOUND AND I TOLD HER THAT IT BOTHERED ME BECAUSE OF THE INCIDENT AT THE DAY'S INN. “Oh... I shouldn't have mentioned it to you.” BUTCH DID, BLANCHE! BUTCHA DID MENTION IT TO ME! *** AND I FOUND IT!!! *** SO TAKE THAT SHIT TO YOUR CHUMMIES! KAY? KAY! - And so, the day winds into a brisk night and that's that for this.

Tue.12.Feb: 0.22 I swore I'd be in bed by 22.00 “last night”. Nope. Sat in the living-room with the little ones and began watching a bit of TV... and then, scrolling through the “guide”: The story of... “Studio 54”! 1977! NYC! The last years (Studio 54 lasted only about 2 years, imagine!) the NYC actually WAS ***NYC***. Some of the music they played over the narration brought tears. How I truly miss those years. I was 22! Do I remember much? No. Horrific! No, I don't. Not right now, anyway. Vague mists of thoughts. (The timing was great though because I'd only just finished posting the shit-sheet on the Chemical-Chase fiasco... 1996. THAT TOO, just throws time into a chipper. Anyway, as it ended, there was the fact that when the owners of Studio 54 got out of jail, round about 1982 or so, “Disco” was literally hated. As one interviewee put it, “they hated us”. Why? Because we, of the discos, had “fun”... that was a word frequently repeated: “fun”. Yes, every week-end, at the very least, we all had the chance to leave everything else behind and have “fun”... There's something that 20-year-olds know nothing about. They “escape” regularly... daily... every moment of every day. No matter who they are, what they do, they exist in an infinite “escape” from all that's “real”. And not necessarily because they need to or that they've anything to escape from... they just don't have the mental capacity (nor the brain matter) to comprehend “reality” in any form or fashion. They're irresponsible idiots, simply existing. But, that's them. They'll NEVER know what “fun” was... nor what “fun” actually is. Anyway, the end of Studio 54 literally was the end of an “era”. As another interviewee said, the deaths, due to AIDS, were devastating, not only to people but to The City. And indeed, in fact, it most certainly was. Disco left. The clubs left (many that were mentioned, I'd been to... Bonds, Paladium, and some others). The entire “culture” that had always been “The City” simply vanished, buried with the bodies of all of us. And the one thing that I still rather marvel at: I'm still here... I survived. I'll NEVER know how. I wasn't all that promiscuous, but the exceptionally few times when I just had to toss the shit into the fan... well... I'll never know how I'm still here... and I resent the fact that I am. I always have. I always will. - Anyway, the day behind is done. The day ahead holds... probably fighting with the shit in Highgate over a bloody PO Box. But if that's all I need to deal with, I'm fine with that. - No shower tonight. No need. No bother. My foot is “fine”, a little sore, but I'm walking about, in slippers. My stomach is still churning, as it did during the day. But other than that, I want to sweep the soc.med. and try for a nap. - It's snappy out there tonight. The stove is stoked. The furnace has kicked a few times. It's not bitter out, but Winter is still very much with us. And I need to get SOME sort of snooze before it's time to wake up and serve breakfast. - 9.48! It's another of those “I was only dozing” mornings... I finally got into bed at about 1.56 this morning. “Rest” didn't come easy but it wasn't all that bad. At least there was no pain. The 8.00 alarm sounded and so too, the “Minou” and I just laid in bed for what I thought was a few moments. Well! It wasn't until 9.26 when I finally got up and rolling! Oh well. Odd, that neither of the little ones came to get me. But, at least they've had breakfast and been out. In fact, AS I opened the porch door, the grey cat was coming across the yard to the barn and Minou made a DASH and they both are now in the barn. As I had my smoke, there was just one little bit of raucous, but seriously, there's nothing that can be done about the situation. Just let them do what they will. - In the mean-time, my gut tells me that Shedrick will be in town at some point, because of the “complaint” I sent along about the mail-box. I DID receive an acknowledgement... allegedly from her, yesterday. I've no doubt there's to be an attempt at some sort of confrontation. Me? I've no time. As I know, she's a conniving liar. As Lisa said, she needs to be in control. So? Let's just hope she doesn't have the audacity to come to the house. If so, I'll complain about that as well. - And so... the day has begun. Grey, chilled, some snow in the forecast. Let's see how it moves along. (I've got a dozen eggs to do something with anyway... Why I bought them, I still don't know for certain. Oh well...) - 23.52 And... the note du jour is that no, I do NOT get the “E box” at the PO. She's slick, that miserable, dried-out old thing. She managed to “change the route” so it appears that nobody in town is eligible for a free PO box. I talked to corporate, Consumer Affairs (for the PO of course) and supposedly, my complaint about her attitude went to the DM. Not that that has ever done anything at all. They're all “under” her, in so many ways. Pathetic. - Other than that? Nothing, really. Just nothing. No music work. No house-work. I did get to eat, had to go back to the store for more ice cream and crisps. I THOUGHT I'd have a beer tonight but... 3 cups of water. I'm getting (have gotten) miserably “old”. - The foot still hurts, but I'm off the “cast shoe” anyway. I suppose that's OK. - It's snowed again. Not too much, but enough. I'd taken the truck to the PO this after-noon whilst it was clear. Re-parked it in the yard. And now it's got snow on it again. Oh well... it's still only February. - Another night of skipped shower. Tomorrow night will be SCRUB-DOWN. Tomorrow is laundry and garbage. - Oddly, I'd still like to put some shelving in the back porch, but the over-all thought is that she won't use it, won't appreciate it, doesn't know HOW to use such a thing. Takes the steam out. - Anyway, the little ones are settled and I'm about to do the same for me. The stove is stoked. The little room is “comfortable”. The house is OK, temperature-wise. All's just fine. Not perfect... but “perfect” would be not here.

Wed.13.Feb: 9.07 The morning “routine” is complete. The garbage from the hole is collected, the litter box is fresh. The bed linens are in the wash. I'm dressed. And all this from since 8.41. OH... AND THERE'S ANOTHER 2ft. OF *** SNOW *** OUT THERE AND IT'S STILL FALLING!!! CHARMING! I see that it's not supposed to stop until tomorrow at about noon! February! - And I was UP AND OUT OF BED AND IN THE LOO AT 5.00 THIS MORNING WITH ACID REFLUX! IT WAS DISGUSTING AND HORRID! I can't imagine what caused THAT! But... it was NASTY! - And, I could go right back to bed... had I the time. But now there's garbage to get to the curb, the post, and a bit of clearing on the back walk or something. Wednesday... the RUSH MORNING! At least it's all under weigh. - I just wonder what caused that reflux this morning. Hmmm... Oh well. - As for the rest of the day? Floors, indeed. And tonight... SCRUB-SHOWER! But for now... I'll just wait a moment for the garbage and post, one and the same. - I'm still tired. - 9.13 and the fucking phone rings. I HATE THIS PLACE! 3 RINGS AND NOTHING. FUCK! JEEZUS! - 10.53 The back walk is shovelled... for all the good it won't do. The garbage is ready for the curb but I doubt there'll be pick-up today. I brought the post and posted my “AAA up-grade”, and over-heard Lisa on the phone: Ploughing is... nil. Common, typical, expected. I don't want to put garbage out and have it ploughed into the yard by Boozin' Burtie. So? So... there we have it. This morning's washing is still drying. The floors need attending. More wood will be needed in the kitchen. I want to go back to sleep. The little ones are out in the where-ever. I want to go back to sleep. - 18.12 WELL!!! The day? The walk got shovelled and salted. Some idiot came and ploughed the drive... coming, of course, with-in inches of the truck. AND, as the idiot ploughed, I re-stacked fire-wood in the garage AND in the kitchen. The mail got brought over. A month and a half AFTER the fact, the notice of the decrease in FS arrived. Fucking Vermont. SO BUSY! (Like Ms. “Juanita” here... I think of her as such now because she IS of the EXACT SAME mentality as Juan Williams of Fox News: Dim, dense, desolate.) Anyway... in spite of spending most of the day dozing and snoozing (as I do), the floors got Hoovered, my laundry got washed, the kitchen floor got mopped, the stove is stoked well... I've had my “meal” and there's just a bit of ice cream left... for a little later. The back porch got swept too. In short: the hole is maintained. Gee... and I HAD to recall: My toiletries aren't in the house-proper, nor is anything else of mine, for that matter. Yet the place is a fucking mess... Gee... NONE of MY belongings are in the place so it's obvious who makes the fucking mess. “French”... filth. Alas. (I need to get the fuck out of here and to some-place I can maintain proper, human décorum.) - That all said, dishes are done and put up. I also had 4 eggs for “lunch” and have 3 boiled in the room here, probably for tomorrow. Oh yes, and the garbage DID go... I saw them coming this after-noon, in a lull in the snow, so I brought the bag to the curb and waited for them. I told the guy I didn't want to risk having the bag ploughed into the drive. He thanked me and I thanked him. - And there, I suppose, we have it until later when I hit the shower for a SCRUB! AND... the days of “peace” are gone. Tomorrow? I might have to head to Bedford. 3 packs of smokes remain. We shall see. It'll mean having to put money into the banque. But, that's not so bad. After all, I want the USD up to no more than about 500 (if that) and MUCH more in the CAD (where it'll be out of “harm's” reach). So? So... we shall see. If memory serves, tomorrow after-noon is supposed to be just chilly and clear. If so, I'll make a roll. If not? Maybe later. - For now... psych for the SCRUB! - Oh yes, and it's snowing again. - 22.07 Shower DONE! FULL! SCRUB! DONE! Delighted! Even between the toes tonight! How's THAT? (Painful... just a touch. But it's DONE!) Lotions and potions applied. Linens returned to their hanger. The bed's made. The kitchen's settled. Just have to stuff a piece of wood in for the over-night. The little ones are retired about the place. The wash is washing. I doubt I'll be able to get to sleep before mid-night... the dryer takes for-fucking-ever to dry the sweater. But at least it's not 23.00 now! Nice to know the hole is cleaned, settled, done, the garbage went out, the ploughing got done, the walk got cleared, the wood got stacked... and the old qunt can go to bloody-fucking Hell from this point on. As I've noted: NOTHING of “mine” clutters the house... it's HER and HER shit, HER and HER dirt. So? Mr. “Free-Ride” wins yet, again. - I'm going for a smoke whilst my toes dry. - 23.59 And I pegged it! The wash just finished drying. Now... to re-dress the toe(s) and try for a bit of a nap. Much time on soc.med. - OH! AND I'D NO SOONER GOTTEN TO THE TABLE AND BEGAN LOG-IN WHEN... “BLEEP!” VOICE MESSAGE! (AGAIN... IT DIDN'T RING THROUGH! Oh never mind, he rang on the 565 number and I have that one set at “Do Not Disturb”. Silly me. I just don't want it ringing at the house phone... which is where it's set... Ggl and all that shit.) ANYWAY... 22.24: “Jason, I can't take this shit trying to find you. Y'know, um, going through some numbers. Oh fuck this. I love your pictures of Mr. G's. If you get this goddam message get back to me NOW.” Imagine? 22.30? “Get back to me NOW!”? Honestly. Well... needless to say... Nope. Had it been LAST night... perhaps. But he pulls this shit late at night every time. Probably one of those “sleep all day, up all night” old folks, nothing to do. Well hey, he had a chance to change that. I'm too old and tired for the little games of life. My “pains” are gone now. The love lives on... the pains have passed. - And so, with that... it's “band-aid” time and then... hopefully... NAP!

Thu.14.Feb: VD - 8.30 and I do NOT want to be awake! But at 8.05 I HAD to get out of bed, to the morning “MEROOW!” and so I did. But everything except dressing and morning BM are completed... even to the coffee and smoke. Oddly, first thought of the day: The world will do what the world will do, roll along with it. Call it “Morning Resignation”. Either I'll go to Bedford today, or I won't. I've got smokes for another 5 or 6 days so there's no pressure there. Food? Well... that's to be seen. 3 eggs here. What-ever will be, will be. I'm just tired after a night of peeing, and a spasm, and inability to get comfortable. Probably up until about 2.00 or so. But here we are. At some point during the day, I'll be able to close the door and nap. So? So. The day has begun. Oh, and it's “Valentine's Day”. How charming. Fuck. - 13.49 She rolled in at just past noon, went directly to frying something that smells like “bad bacon” (the stench is gagging) and sat to stuff face. We chatted... as is due and I've come back to the room. Ah... and what do I hear? After making a comment about it being “like Spring” today (and the temperature is still -4°... moron) I just hear her trying to stuff something into the wood-stove... when, in fact, I'd STUFFED it perfectly with wood not 45 minutes before she rolled in! Honestly! Sickness. But... none of my business. - Meanwhile, Dorothy must be having a “dull day” (as Denis had a “dull night”) because she's “texting” today. Yeah... here I am... when there's nobody else around. - I'm going back too my music art files for the rest of the day. - 23.04 and well the day is done and all are in bed and here I am... 3 hahdberld egss and about 5 “oatmeal cream” cookies for the day. - Bedford seems to maybe be on the agenda for tomorrow, which wouldn't be too bad since she'll be about the place. We shall see. There's still 2 packs in the truck. - Other-wise, still working on the music files... this is more involved than... and it kept me occupied during the day. - Right now? A bit on the soc.med. Again, I'm entertaining a 50... but I'm never sure until I wake up the next morning and haven't had one again. No rushing tomorrow morning... just the rudeness of BANGA-CLANG at 6.00 followed by the constant phone-ringing. We shall see... indeed. - I'm tired, but as usual, not “tired enough” so... a few more moments...

Fri.15.Feb: 1.33 Stupid of me, really... I had to go check the balances in the accounts which some-how lead to e-bay which lead to closing the account (because I couldn't leave proper feed-back on the sherpa) and so... I'm off to bed LATE again! BUT... the good news is that there's a comfortable amount in the CAD to get smokes today, should I decide to toddle along. Now, all I need do is figure what FOOD to get as well, whilst there, since Kraft peanut-butter is no longer on my “MUST HAVE” list. Oh well. There's always Krema yoghurt in Bedford (though I'd like to get to Sutton for the even cheaper smokes). Anyway... there we have it. Another LATE night! Damnit! - 9.26 UP awake and coffee... pee, vitamins, get dressed, (Why? Don't know. Don't care. Just did.) and another day commences. 1° on the PLUS side, they claim. Rain was to have commences 26 minutes ago... I see none in the yard. 4° at 16.00 and then it's back to dropping. But no sun. Anyway... I was just looking... in case I travel. I'd like, very much, to travel... right back to sleep. But... - Had some sort of dream last night/morn. Had just moved in to a new flat. Old building. NYCish. I don't know where it was but it was old. Clean. Fine. I wasn't really comfortable in it for some reasons, one of which was that I didn't trust the landlord or super. At one moment, I was walking around the all-but-un-furnished flat I was calling “home” and had closed the door, decided “There's no need for me to be dressed around here now, it's only me.” so I un-dressed and as I passed by the door-way, the door was WIDE OPEN! (There's a similarity between the door in the dream and the porch door here, I'm seeing.) So I closed it again, noticing the the chain-lock was installed completely on the door frame and not on the door! Not to mention, the door had to be pushed, pulled and such in order for the bolt to catch in the lock. SO! I got dressed again and had to go to the hall for something where the “super” and some other guy were moving somebody in or out or something and it involved doing something with MY flat! They'd opened the door to my flat and were tossing things into it from the hall. Not wanting any confrontation or conflict, I feigned a bit of light humour, they reciprocated but the tension there was palpable. And the dream ended. - There we have it. Anxieties about moving into a flat where I'll have to pay rent again? Conflicts of “landlord and super”? Malfunctioning door? Un-furnished place? Oh... I could tie this entire thing to my entire current existence. So too easy. - Meanwhile, 9.45 and I have to have a smoke and hopefully, a BM (though there's really nothing “in there” this morning), figure what to do with my life today... including some food. But most of all... I'd like to go bac to bed! - 21.05 WELL!!!! I MADE IT!!! Left out of here at about 14.00, headed straight for the dép in Bedford and got a carton. Next, the banque for an exchange that wasn't all to favourable for me at 1,27. Oh well. But they're selling USD at 1,31! Imagine THAT! Still, it's nice, I'm addressed as a human-being... a MOST welcome change. A stop at Metro for the “cover” groceries (and yoghurt for tonight, which I've had) and tomorrow, bread and cheese and vinegar. A stop at Korvette for keratin shampoo. To different brands (because the one that I wanted was only 2,50... so I got another at 5,99). Let's see what they do. I remember using keratin shampoo years ago and it was good. This time, we shall see. And I was on the road and back through the U.S.-side (with, of all things, an Arab! Although the plates were VT and NY. Curious. Over the Lake Rd. and into the next banque to put the 100 from HLS into the account where it should be safer (not in the house, not in immediate reach). So the “split banquing” begins in earnest. - I was down a quarter tank in the truck, so I stopped at Mobil to fill it, gave the gal 20 and... 18,80 and the tank was actually on OVER-FLOW! IT'S FULL! And so, back up the State Park rd., around the lake and back by about 16.30! NOT BAD! 10 packs of smokes and a FULL tank! (If the wind-shield were perfect, it would be tempting to hit the road for some-where... Good that it's still cracked... I suppose. I don't know where I'd go anyway. No particular desire to go to any place in particular just now. The roads are pretty good... not perfect. But... time will come. HEY! I happened back JUST in time to help HLS print her ticket: SHE'S OFF TO FLORIDA AGAIN... 22nd APRIL TO 4th MAY! 2 WEEKS! I wonder if I could get Denis up for one of those weeks. HAHAHAH! J'joke, moé. Franchement.) - And so, I was offered a beer, accepted. Was offered something to eat. Declined. I was hungry but I've got the yoghurt (which is good for my digestive system anyway). We chatted. All was peaceful. Mention of the “mystery man on the porch” again this evening. Oh well. She'll learn. - Also, received a letter from USPS: The E boxes have been cancelled “for 5199”! HLS is PISSED! She asked me to compose a letter of complaint, which she said she would sign, in protest. (Sadly, I know that no-one in USPS will pay it any attention, but I just might. Meanwhile, she found the “official” address-of-record for the up-stairs flat. 5143 Hanna! Makes sense. The main entrance is on the back of the house, with its own drive-way. The town offices are listed as 5142, Dickless Copper is 5099. Now, I wonder... I'd have to do some digging to find records of the address, but it would be fun... and stating that “my” main entrance is also on the back, with the drive on Hanna... It might be worth the little bit of time. Meanwhile, I almost marvel at how Shedrick managed to eliminate the “E Boxes” for this house... with-in 24 hours. It annoys and irritates me. - ANYWAY... - 21.49 All are tucked-away for the night and I suppose I should try to be soon as well. I've rolls and cheese, might have a sammich.

Sat.16.Feb: 0.19 and I am closing Friday, feeling rather "well-accomplished". Full tank in the truck. Both banques visited. Finances, attended. Time alone and on the road. And a day with-out conflict. I've a few hours to nap. The house will be my-self and the little ones today. (I might just have a shower and try one of the new shampoos too.) - Only "difficulty": seems something is making its way through my bowels... and not in a "happy fashion". Well... - Here's to a bit of a nap. Let's see what greets at the dawn. - It's still rather "tolerable" out there at -1°, but I see that snow is to commence at about 1.10 for a short while. Most of the day, sun, with high of -4, chill of -10. Not bad. We've at least another month of this. Oh well. - (I have to find some place to move to!) - 1.03 and off to bed after "home-hunting"... for nothing. - 9.25 and up at 9.04, from a dream about sowing to work, in a t-shirt, some sort of “sweat-pants” that weren't properly tied, the shirt was tight enough to hold the pants up and long enough to come down below the waist. One of the gals greeted me with a comment about e looking like shit and I went into a tirade “Considering that I usually come to work properly dressed, and obviously haven't this morning, you COULD have asked 'Are you alright? Is something wrong?' which you obviously didn't. But NO! YOU have to immediately point-out that I look like SHIT!” The truth behind it was something to the effect that I'd done something the night before or that morning and didn't have time to dress properly (I don't know what it was but in the dream I was feeling rather guilty about it). When I got to a mirror, my hair was all “up” and in disarray and I looked quite pale. There was something wrong with how and where I'd parked the car in the lot, and there was something wrong with it as well, mechanically and such. But even that, in the dream, was ambiguous. Prior to that bit in the dream, I'd been at some sort of machining shop where an older tradesman of some sort, was placing a sort of “plug” into holes in joints on some kind or sort of machinery. The “plugs” looked like “bellends”! I was just amazed that nobody else had noticed this. I asked the old guy where he got such a thing and he just said that they were manufactured “some-place” and that's what he received. I was fascinated that such a place would make such and item and that nobody had ever taken notice of what they actually looked like. Anyway, the dream jumped from the machine-shop to the office and from the office... I woke. - There's a note on the kitchen table “The kids had breakfast”. Oddly, I sort-of heard her this morning, but dropped into deep sleep when I did. Minou came by to wake me at some point, but I heard him and then the 8.00 alarm and went back to sleep, which is when I dreamt. I suppose waking from REM is why I'm feeling rather “slammed” right now. But I've had coffee, smoke, re-started the stove (which isn't really necessary for anything other than the paper-trash I want to burn today). Hallie WAS in the living-room, but has since gone back to bed. Minou was out for a bit but is now in his little bed here, in the room. It's rather “comfortably” cool out, with a bit of sun and a few flurries in the air. And it appears this day has commenced. I'd rather like to go back to bed, but I shouldn't and might but I doubt it. And the vitamins aren't “settling” well in stomach or other-wise. It's another morning on another day. - 23.50 She rolled in at about 20.30 or so, all lah-dee-and-dah... stopped by the door to the room, asked if everything's fine and went immediately to the recliner where I got to chat momentarily about the day, the little ones and that address she'd given me for up-stairs. It was obvious she wasn't interested so I came back to the room. - Just now, time to wrap this day up. I'm tired. - Hallie spent most of the day in “her” room and Mimou spent SO much time with me... EVEN NAPPING WITH ME! Precious little man. - I didn't bother to stack wood in the kitchen but I did keep the stove going during the day. Tee-hee. I could tell HLS wasn't thrilled... when she went to the garage, got her own fucking wood and SLAMMED it into the already very-well-stoked stove. DOUCHE! She's almost gone through the cord she just got. Hey! It's not ME burning it all to Hell so... let her pay. Not my monkey, not my circus. (I'll just have to check the thermostat to make sure it works... for when the fire-wood runs out... which will, most likely, be before the cold weather runs out.)

Sun.17.Feb: 1.29 Lights out. - 10.10 and I snoozed-in until 9.56! (And didn't want to get out of bed even then!) And I'm “up” and done with my “personal routine” including morning smoke. I heard HLS leave for Jesus and pondered staying under the blankets for a while longer but... Went to stuff my paper-stuff into the stove to find that she'd stuffed IT with the “starter” wood. Must have been “SO terribly busy” this morning, couldn't possibly go to the garage for fire-wood. Really. Imagine if it was still being stacked out back. Imagine. Anyway... here we are. Mimou is in his little bed here. I'm at table. Hallie came by for morning kisses. And me? Feeling “light-headed” as usual. Another day. Another day. Sunny too. Clear. Cold. February. - Agenda? Nope. No place I want to go. Nothing that I really want to buy. (Pondering a new radio for the truck but that's really not all that important, considering other things that need attending... like the rockers and wind-shield and gauge cluster.) Really can't afford “shopping” anyway. So? So... There's the music files... still. Busy stuff... to pass the hours. - 16.15 And another day slips away... mostly because of another request for translation from cousine “Luce” which was a bit more involved than the previous. This one took about an hour (or longer) because of syntax, punctuation and formatting. In fact, I've only JUST finished my 2nd coffee... from this morning. Alas and OK. Never mind. It's done. - I'm still not feeling “correct”, as it were, a bit light-headed and such. And for any “meal” du jour, 3 rolls, butter and some cheese. Yes, it's to one of “those” days. - So, the sun gets lower on the horizon and I get to come back to the room. Oh well. There wasn't anything “pressing” on the agenda anyway. - I think I just might have a nap... and then get to the “music”... yet again. But the translating was a bit of fun. I got to show that yes, I CAN understand French... AND SPANISH too. (It was suggested that I translate Luce's text to Spanish, since she's submitting it to somebody in Mexico. But I squashed that. Shit... not for remuneration of a meal... in Freiligsburg.) Anyway... the day has rolled along. “One more day behind me. How many are left, I don't know...” and don't give a shit, either. - OH! OH! OH! SHE GOT TO CLEANING-OUT THAT DESK DRAWER AND FOUND OLD CHEQUES, A BANQUE CARD FROM TD AND A CREDIT CARD FROM CITI! 48USD IN POSTAGE DOLLAR STAMPS AND ABOUT 1,80USD IN 4-CENT STAMPS THAT SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE IN THERE. I WAS QUICK TO POINT OUT THAT IT PROVED, AT LEAST, THAT I DON'T GO DIGGING ABOUT THE PLACE AND I DON''T STEAL. (THERE'S A POTENTIAL NEW VEHICLE OR REPAIRS ON THE TRUCK, AND A WAY TO GET ANOTHER FLAT... SAID I, AND THERE THEY ARE. YOU CAN SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT ME, BUT YOU CAN'T SAY THAT I STEAL. - TO WHICH THERE WAS NO RESPONSE. QUNT!) ANYWAY... I'M GLAD SHE FOUND THAT SHIT... WHILST I WAS PRESENT. FUCK. - And so... nap time... 20-30 minutes. Thanks. - 24.05 WELL! THAT TOOK LONGER THAN EXPECTED... BUT... I've managed to make a new page of “Thanks” on the G's site for all the kindesses extended on Minds. Made new images for it, coded, loaded, launched and noted it all on the Minds channel! BUSY BUSY BUSY! - I've also managed to have a hot tea (yay me!) and finished the cheese and 3 rolls (no more food, save some crisps). HLS went off to bed at about 20.45 or so. I saw that she'd brought fire-wood in from the garage (I was going to do so m'self but thought better of it and besides... didn't really want to bother until tomorrow anyway.) - OH OH OH OH OH OH OH.... !!! .... FUNNY!!! SHE WENT TO MAKE HER-SELF SOME DINNER THIS EVENING (yes, she offered... I declined) AND GOING FOR THE SKILLET, MANAGED TO PULL THE TOP TO THE DUTCH OVEN DOWN... ON HER 2ND TOE... LEFT FOOT! IT'S RATHER BRUISED, BUT IT MOVES, AND THOUGH PAINFUL, WE'RE BOTH HOPING IT ISN'T BROKEN. BUT *** SCHADENFREUDE *** LIVES WELL IN MY HEART TONIGHT! HEY! ALL I GOT IN THE WAY OF “SYMPATHY AND COMPASSION” WAS “You need to be more careful.” YEAH? WELL! LOOKIE YOU! GLASS OF WINE, TIPSY YOU AND “VOILA”! No, I'm not “celebrating” or anything of the sort. But seriously, I can't muster any sympathy... never mind “empathy”. Gee... “You need to be more careful.” (I DO hope it's NOT broken though.) - Anyway, I over-heard her chatting on the phone earlier. She'll be over at the church by 10.00 tomorrow to “clean”. Apparently somebody's dying and wants the funeral there. So the “nice people of town” are prepping the church. How “kind”. (I want to vomit.) - And so... it's already past mid-night, I'm still on the soc.med. working on making the new page public and hoping for MUCH participation in the site and on the channel! G's WILL NOT DISAPPEAR!!! so long as I can afford to keep it “alive” in some fashion. I've come this far... (and quite frankly, I'm quite rather amazed)... I will NOT let it vanish! Amen. - Now... on to Monday...

Mon.18.Feb: 1.51 Had a beer, some crisps, scanned the soc.med., listened to some music, had my smoke in the cloudy and cool-but-not-cold night and now... time for a nap before Mr. Minou comes to tell me “We're alone in here!” It's been a day. It's been a night. I am weary... let me rest. - 8.03 and up, and dressed, and why, I don't know, but I am and this is how it's to be. The lap-top came on at 7.52. Figuring that I didn't get right to sleep when I went to bed, and that was almost 2.00... this is about 6 hours of what-ever it is I get or don't during the night. So WHY am I up and about now? It's not as if I have anything of GREAT importance to attend! But, this is how it is and so it is. (And to think, I could get MORE of what-ever it is, today, because HLS will be at the Jesus-house for a while. Oh well... I've a kettle to rinse, pee bottle, clench-guard, and coffee mug to wash... things and stuff to do.) OK... time to “roll” ... smoke and such. This day has begun... fuck. - 19.53 AND I JUST FINISHED BLEACHING THE FUCKING TOILETS... ESPECIALLY THE ONE IN THE “MAIN LOO”!!! There's a fucking stench of “female urine” about this place, I happen to fear it's ON ME! So... considering the FILTH on the toilet in the main loo, I hit it with PURE BLEACH this evening! Hopefully, that's the trick. Now, the washer is getting washed before it washes MY wash. - SHE left at about 16.30 and I headed to the store for eggs, turkey, rolls, donuts, V8, ice cream (22-fucking-dollars!)... came back in, shredded turkey in 4 eggs, on 2 rolls, “meal”. Did the dishes that I made, and the dishes that were in the drain, had my ice cream and got to the toilets. It's been almost non-stop. Took the paper ash out of the stove, stoked it for now, got some more wood in for tonight, sprinkled ice-melt on the garage floor because the ice round here is HORRID! (I mean... the drive is SOLID, END-TO-END! And now it's covered in snow so the ice can't be seen... on top of or along with the ice in the garage that thwarts safe access to the rest of the fire-wood). This is a tough Winter... ice-wise. - And so, I'm JUST sitting here, waiting for the washer to wash and rinse so I can put my jammies in because tonight I'm going to SHOWER before bed! - I'm EXHAUSTED! This hole is NOT worth the effort. - 20.51 Good thing I decided to move the truck into the drive so that the shit-idiots can't run into it... THE FUCKING DOOR IS FROZEN SHUT again! But I got in vie passenger's side, started it up, moved it to the walk (which I've cleared of snow) and it's running now to warm and hopefully to thaw. - 23.58 JUST MADE IT! SHOWERED! Clean jammies. The under-stuff is in the wash now. The lights are out. Stove is stoked. And the GOOD NEWS: THE STINK IN THE KITCHEN THAT I THOUGHT WAS ME... IT'S THE “PAPER-WHITES”! Those flowers STINK like urine! Still, the toilets DID NEED a good bleaching. So that much got done anyway. - Meanwhile, I had 2 donuts (runs tomorrow), with a little Coke. Still a bit hungry but... - As for THE TOE... IT HURTS! I'm pondering (but doubt I will) leaving the “dressing” off for the night. The skin on the toes is looking rather “not so healthy”. But there's a definite “knot” where the bone didn't mend properly. Yep... I'm looking at some time of “discomfort” and not as much walking as I used to do. But, that's that and that's how that will be. - Time to put the stuffs on the face, check the soc.med. as the little wash finishes. Recyc tomorrow. - It's BITTER out there tonight. Clear skies, of course. I just hope there'll be enough sun-shine to defrost the truck door. - Used the Tresemmé shampoo tonight. It's NOT the same “Keratin” shampoo that I remembered from years ago. This one has too much “no frizz” shit in it. No wonder they call it “Smooth” keratin. Well? It's shampoo. But I will say that the biotine is changing the texture... the hair is “stiffer”... but not “fuller” nor “thicker”. Oh well. I'm old... dead soon.

Tue.19.Feb: 0.04 I can't believe how quickly this month is slipping by. I NEED to get the money and get the fuck out of here! (Thought about it yesterday: 2c in the light, 150 in the fives, 1cUSD in QC, 1cUSD in VT... 550 scattered about. And I'm forever worried about having ANY money. Those years of having nothing left a deep wound.) - 2.32 LAST SMOKE! It's going to be another BITCH in about 5 hours! - 8.54 Stove re-started and fully stoked, the little ones are out, clench-guard is rinsing, I heard the 8.00 alarm and dozed, heard the 8.30 alarm and dozed and yet... despite the beginnings of an HYSTERICALLY FUNNY DREAM AND the fact that I'M EXHAUSTED because of the FUCKING COLD WIND BLOWING ON MY HEAD AND FACE AGAIN, keeping me up until AT LEAST 4.00! I was OUT of bed AT about 8.45!!! - 9.18 and MY “regular morning routine” is done. Must not forget: recycling to go out shortly. - It's 10F on the porch therm. I NEED, at least, something ABOVE 0° at some point during the day to thaw the truck door! At least there's a bit of sun in the sky. AND I NEED to look into TARPS and figure HOW to attach same to the top of the truck! - Anyway, all I can think of is the sarcasm of the Head Magistrate in the DREAM, exasperated, head on hand, elbow on table, simply mumbling “Reverend Doddy”, with a slight accent of learnt English. In the DREAM. As the “Reverend Doddy” turned the metallic name-plates over with repeated “clangs” as he mischievously created a bit of a scene in the Council, in protest against some sort of comment made by one of the members. Rev. Doddy, a rather diminutive little chap of good class, but with an almost childish sense of décorum, simply approached the desk, and in silence, reached for each name-plate and turned them about, over, up-side down until he reached the centre, the plate of the Head Magistrate, and then stopped, looking, not so much as staring, at the Head Magistrate, as if waiting for some more rambunctuous response. There'd been a most serious debate about some topic or another, some-what involving the Reverend. To the Magistrate and Council, it was quite serious, but to “Reverend Doddy”, he found the entire circus “not amusing”. The general “tone” of the dream was really quite fun. What a shame I couldn't have stayed in it for a while longer. But... “FUN” dreams MUST be cut short... it's the HORRIFIC ones that linger on and on. - Anyway, I'm up and about. Not dressed yet. Soon... sadly... very soon. I've yet to hit the loo. And the blankets are in the “spin”. If I'm to have another night of “COLD WINDS” blowing about this hole, the afghan is coming out, and I want the sheets to be clean... as will I be, after another shower tonight! - And no, I do NOT like the results from this new shampoo. But I suppose the bit of keratin might be of some good... though it makes what little hair I have, whispy. None-the-less... hair's clean, as am I and my under-things for the day. My neck is sore, the upper-left jaw is sore, there's that “split” tooth there. Alas. Never can there be a truly “good” morning. - Thought of the morning as I had my smoke: Rumour has it that Kevin Lothian's bought Dick Wright's, meaning the shit-bag in-breed bastard will be doing business directly across the “Main” street! An omen: GET THE ACTUALL FUCK OUT OF THIS SHIT-HOLE TOWN... SOON AND QUICKLY! The fucker spat on me when I started working at the PO here! It truly IS time to GET OUT OF AND AWAY FROM - (As I look at this “document” on the lap-top, I'm at page 9... time to get this on-line too... today.) - OK... On with the day! The wash is done... time to dry! - 11.11 OK! The recyc is at the curb. The post is in. The wood has been moved from the garage wall to the stoop (well, as much as I intend to move). The bed-sheets are dry. AND THE TRUCK DOOOR IS OPEN! NOW... I've found tarps on-line... I could order or... I could drive along and get them directly. Decisions. Oh... Reverend Doody. OK! At least I've accomplished with this day... thus far. Sadly... nobody knows... nobody will notice... nobody will appreciate. *** THE ONLY VALIDATION THAT MATTERS AT ALL IS THAT WHICH COMES FROM WITH-IN. *** - 15.24 The Hoover bag is emptied and put back, MOST of the wood in the garage is re-stacked, there's enough wood for the stove for me for the next 2 days, there's a week's-worth of wood stacked in the kitchen (which has proven enough for HLS for only ONE bloody day... moron), I put the critter toys in a basket in the living-room (let's see how long THAT lasts), and I even had a 20-minute snooze on the recliner before getting up and out to retrieve the recyc bin AND shovel a “path” through the snow so that walking on the ice on the drive shouldn't be necessary for a while. So! OH, and I measured the truck for a tarp and the “Flex-tape”. And THIS should be my “time of peace”. In a way it is... she's not here. - 19.33 (Nice time!) Just Hoovered the floors... lightly, but because this room NEEDED it! And as I Hoovered, I recalled that shit-wipe, lying, dried-out, psychotic, delusional, retarded old qunt having the audacity, when chatting about Dimballs and the FILTH in that flat with-in a matter of 3 months, saying to me:

I WOULD NEVER RENT TO A HOMELESS PERSON! (With regard to the state putting Homeless people into motels.)
OH NO? AH... LET'S LOOK:
• A HOMELESS PERSON SAVED YOUR FUCKING HOME BY
• MOWING YOUR LAWN, TENDING YOUR GARDEN, PLANTING YOUR FLOWERS, TRIMMING YOUR TREES, HOOVERING YOUR FUCKING RUGS AND CARPETS, MOPPING YOUR FUCKING FLOORS, CLEARING YOUR YARD OF OVER-GROWTH AND DEBIRS.
• WATCHING, MINDING, FEEDING AND TENDING YOUR DOG (AND CAT). • PROTECTED YOUR FUCKING HOUSE FROM THE LIKES OF “STANHOPE”.
• MOWED THE LAWN AT YOUR RENTAL HOUSE
• TRIMMED THE TREES AT THE RENTAL HOUSE
• YES, YES, DUG AND MOVED SOD ON YOUR PROPERTY
• HAULED GRAVEL TO PAVE UNDER YOUR FUCKING BENCHES.
• STACKED YOUR FUCKING FIRE-WOOD... HAVING STACKED IT IN THE BACK YARD AND THEN MOVED IT TO THE GARAGE.
• A HOMELESS PERSON WASHES YOUR FUCKING FILTHY DISHES, TAKES OUT YOUR FUCKING GARBAGE EVERY WEEK AND YOUR RECYCLABLES EVER OTHER WEEK
*** WHAT A FUCKING USELESS BIT OF TRASH QUNT-DRIP! ***

And so... there I have it and there has the word, whom-ever might ever see this. May I keep this in mind always... especially for the next round of when she starts on me being “abusive”... and the next time she's “entertaining her cronies”... with my presence. - Now,. I have to go find my pen... the “USPS” pen that I just had to make a note earlier today. I found the note... the pen's disappeared. - Found the pen... it was with the “flat-ware” that I discovered in my “toiletries” bag last night... the plastics from Rockaway (Homeless) and a knife and spoon from 5225 (funny shit, that). - OK. - 22.51 SHOWERED AND ***** THE AFGHAN IS ON THE BED!!! ***** YES! I TOOK IT OUT OF THE BOX AND THE 2 BAGS AND PUT IT ON THE BED!!! TONIGHT, NO “CHILLS”! Hopefully it won't be too heavy on the feet and legs, but at least I can keep the door open for the little ones. I've covered it with the canvas (for protection). - Next item: Well, I've now tried both “keratin” shampoos” and I HATE BOTH! Hair's gone all “fine” and fly-away and thinner, if that's possible. So? Back to the Rite Aid Fuller and Thicker which is almost 15$ EACH on-line and 5,00 at Rite Aid on-line BUT “Out of Stock” on-line so... I'll have to make a trip to the local Rite Aid and stock-up. (Hopefully they still have some!) - Next item: the tarp for the truck? Looks like that's going to be a bit on the “costly” side. (So what else is new?) BUT... Just learnt that Home Depot in GRANBY is about 10 miles CLOSER that Williston AND almost DIRECT... right up the 139! Freligsburg and head North. Voila! So, either tomorrow (or more likely Thursday in the rain/snow but warmer weather) I'll be off to shop Home Depot! This is great to know! (Thursday seems better because I'll be in more of a mind-set to browse... at my leisure... keeps me away from the hole longer.) - Anyway... I'm showered, clean, the clothes are on the rinse, the lights are out, there's wood in the stove, it's “comfortable” in the room and I'm just waiting for the clothes to finish. Tah-fucking-da. - One other note: New “Woodhauler” account: “Steemit”. Alt. to Minds. I'll check it out and see what it's like. They claimed it would take 2 weeks to get the account. Took one day. Not to mention: 50729 for the phone! WELL! How about THAT? - Moving along...

Wed.20.Feb: 1.18 Wash is done and so am I. And from working in the cold garage, moving the fire-wood, my thumb and fore-finger are split! DAMN! - Earlier, Minou came in for a bit, had a few “meows” to say and disappeared. I went looking for him and found him on “his chair” in the living-room, Hallie on the sofa. Sweet-hearts. - Well? Time to try for a nap. Trash-day. - 8.48 and yes, I''m up and the “routine” done. Got out of the COMFY bed at 8.30... begrudgingly. NOT because of the little ones, but because it was SO COMFY! Getting to sleep was a bit of a bitch, and I was up to pee thrice during the night. So yes, I'm TIRED! But sleeping under the afghan was a delight. - Anyway, another 10F on the porch. Hazy in the sky. And now to figure the litter box and hauling the trash. After that? Oh, a nap would be very nice but... - Another day... just... another day. - 10.03 Garbage out, post in, morning complete. Time for 2nd coffee... and I'm STILL damned tired... and trying to figure what to do with/bout the truck and the leak. Oddly, I woke from a “DREAMLETTE” where the leak was in some other part of the truck and some woman (HLS?) pulled the two parts of the truck apart to reveal that some welding had come loose. Said she “That should be easy to repair.” Said I “It's not as bad as I'd thought.” And I woke. The leak is in my un-conscious. - Anyway... food is on my “list” for today too. All I have is eggs and a bit of ice cream. Not even bread. Alas. And the trip to Granby? I don't really want to go today, but snow is coming tonight. I'll have to think of something during the day. - 22.27 Showered, scrubbed, hair washed, no more “smooth keratin”, it's back to the better. The stove is stoked. The kitchen is in order. (I need to mop tomorrow morning though.) The little ones are in the living-room, snoozing. The little bit of laundry is in the spin cycle. I'm in jammies and “face done”. This day is wrapped. - Now, to decide (probably tomorrow when I see the weather), Granby and Home Depot or St. Allbinsfukd and Walmarde. I don't have a lot of cash (more in CAD than USD though), but a tarp is necessary. I have one on the porch but it's green and too large and I've no way to keep it on the truck so I need clips of some kind anyway. But... tomorrow. - No doubt HLS will strollie-rollie in WAY past noon because Hallie's almost out of food and she'll be going to Costco. So my trip isn't an “emergency” departure too early. If it runs late? There's Friday... as long as the weather doesn't dump frozen rain. - Other than that... this has been one wasted day, pretty much. Though I DID get a little sledge from the barn and now ALL the wood is stacked and ready in the garage. (I'm curious to see how long it'll last. There's about half a cord... and she can go through that in 24 hours... if allowed.) - OK, and Oh Well and there we have it. - I'm a bit hungry. 2 eggs at “lunch” made into 1 pancake with maple. 2 fried eggs and a bit of ice cream at “meal”. A few walnuts before shower. Yeah... I'll probably HAVE to get out of here at some point tomorrow... to get SOMETHING to eat! (And coffee's running rather low too... not enough to carry to the first of the month and ... OH MY! Just check; 20,92 on the card! I thought it was only about 10! Well... trip to Hannaford's soon. (She'll be here on Saturday and working on Sunday though.) Fine. Food tomorrow it is then... some-how. - For now? The clothes aren't spinning. These machines are shit! Won't spin. Won't dry. But they're here and all I have available. (And now the fucking washer is thumping! JEEZUS KRISTE!) - Time for a smoke. - 22.43 Clothes in the dryer. I JUST MIGHT make it to bed by mid-night! Imagine!

Thu.21.Feb: 0.17 There's a bit of a drizzle out there... the fucking door will probably be frozen in the morning. Well? That answers the question of “Where will I go to look for the tarp?” Walmarde... if any-where at all. The drive will help thaw the door anyway. - And now? I'm off to the bed... and the afghan! - 10.44 UP AND OUT OF BED AT 7.58 AND... Off to pee, rinse the clench-guard, let the little ones out to pee, re-start and stoke the stove, serve breakfast, let the little ones in, HAD TO RE-DO LAST NIGHT'S TOE DRESSING... it slipped off, damn it, then, get dressed, sweep and shovel the back walk, clear the truck (THE DOOR OPENED! YAY!), start that, shovel about the drive (for HLS), empty the ash-bucket at the end of the walk for traction (mixed with a bit of ice-melt and raked into the snow), shovel the path to the drive and the “walk-way” to get to the P.O., off to the P.O. for today's post, back in, mop the kitchen floor (just mop... but with the bucket today because this house STINKS!), re-stoke the stove. It's been a BUSY morning! Meanwhile, the snow that fell last nigh/this morning is/was “rather wet” so it's melting a touch even now... in the PLUS 1° temperature out there. The truck is parked where I don't like... along the back of the house. I might still get out of here at some point during the day to get some kind of cover for it. And, oh yes... at some point before I got out of here this morning, some Dimshit came and ploughed the “Hanna Rd.” part of the drive. I MUST remember to ALWAYS move the truck when she leaves... to the end of the walk, so as to prohibit the ploughing into the truck. - Anyway... thus is this morning, and indeed, it still is “morning”! It's WHAT I'VE DONE TODAY TO MAKE ME FEEL PROUD! (Surely, it won't be noticed, and even if it is, it won't be appreciated... but “Self-Validation” is the only validation that actually matters in life. - On with the day... I need a nap! (She won't be back for a while yet... probably wandering the aisles of Costco at the moment... I can only hope.) - 14.06 and... she's rolling in. - 21.15 Well... I left out of here at about 16.00 and, pretty much, wasted about 4 hours, gas and mileage. Went to Walmarde for the tarp (which I got at a bit of a bargain at almost 3USD less than they wanted at Aubochon and Ace... so I was to learn in my journey, and a “Smoky Gray Mist” candle for the room which isn't like the spray that I like but it's not bad. (I've used it already and for 4,44USD, it's fine.) Walked the aisles at Walmarde, looking for clips... NOTHING! ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NOTHING! But I used the “Community” card... no PIN no nothing. ZIP! (It was only 12USD anyway). So... over to Aubochon where they wanted 4USD EACH! NO! Zipped across to Hannaford where I got rolls, the vinegar to clean the kettle, some peanut-butter (no soy! Skippy “Natural”, at about the same price as other brands), Ramen noodles (back-up eating) and a jar of coffee... FS card, leaving me with just over 1USD BUT THE FUCKING SCANNER SCANNED THE MOST EXPENSIVE ITEM... THE FUCKING ROLLS... TWICE! SO, now I have to go BACK to St.A. to get another bag of fucking ROLLS. I'm NOT letting that 4USD go! - Fine... Tired and hungry and in a bit of snow-fall, I took the chance and went to Ace in St.A. anyway... ANOTHER 20 minutes wasted! They had clips similar to the 2 I found here, in the hole, but AGAIN... 4USD! The had only 2 in the store and one was broken! FUCK! - Stopped at McD's for McFukkitz and ate on the trip back. The “drive” was a pleasure, but I'm pissed! NO FUCKING REGULAR CLIPS! Honestly! What a shit-hole this whole state is. Now, it's a trip to Granby! Oh well... Maybe there's a reason I should go... housing? A move? We shall see IF I go tomorrow, as I'm pondering. - ANYWAY... I was listening to 96,9FM this evening and there some tunes that I really enjoyed. It's programmed, and I didn't want to listen to the general “Pop” nonsense. Come to find out, just moments ago when I went to look at the “play-list” on-line to get some music... *** CKOI *** I used to listen to that station YEARS ago... when most other people were listening to CHOM! SO! Circle! Back to CKOI! Imagine THAT! - Anyway, I get back into the yard here, at the hole, get out of the truck, in the dark and little Mimou was in the yard CALLING CALLING CALLING TO ME! POOR LITTLE GUY! I learnt when I got in, the old qunt let him out and went to sleep on the recliner! What a fuck! Good thing I was out and not away! She'd have left him out there all night! Irresponsible, selfish piece of useless dreg! - And so... 20 McFukkitz for “intake” today, and some water. Fine. - Meanwhile, now, I'm tired and WILL be in bed BEFORE mid-night tonight! The qunt is going for an oil change in the morning. Fine. - OH! When she got in, I'd mentioned something about going to Granby to the Home Depot and she's got the fucking set to say “OH! Let me know when you're going. I want to go to St. Hubert!” for chicken. Yeah? Go! Fuck. I'm not driving MY truck up there to haul YOU about the place. The trip is about ME and what I need... NOT you and your fucking chicken dinner. Sorry, not sorry. - So now, time to re-hit the soc.med. Minds is fucking about tonight with posting to G's. Probably pissed because of my complaints about being bumped from their “Rewards”. I mean... I'm getting hits, “up-votes”, comments, “subscribers” and for nothing! I know... the “tokens” are worthless, but it would be nice to be included in something offered and then taken away... kind of like the “E Boxes” at the PO. I'm rather fed-up with this bull-shit, over-all. - But I need to calm down and get ready for a night of rest. Hopefully all will be well during the day tomorrow and I'll get the clips and a trip to Granby. Forecast is for sun and -1°... but snow during the night. Let's hope the truck doesn't freeze shut! But I see only brief snow at about mid-night tonight so it shouldn't be bad... I can hope... stupid me. - 23.35 and off to bed! - I could use the loo, but, never mind. Let's just hope.

Fri.22.Feb: 9.25 Up. Dressed. Coffee. Vits. Smoke. Clench-guard. Had to replace the toe-dressing and wasted 2 pads. The one on there is shit. At 4.25 this morning, was RUDELY awakened with PAIN in the foot! Removed the dressing completely. The room was HOT... TOO HOT. Went back to sleep with the blankets down. (Woke under them again.) I don't know WHAT happened that the room should have gotten so warm. But then, the door was closed so... Heard the old thing up this morning before the 8.00 alarm. Dozed until... turned the alarm off and dozed back to sleep for a bit. She's gone... oil change. THEN... AS I WAS HAVING MY COFFEE (as it were) THAT RETARD CAME THROUGH TO PLOUGH! FUCK! THERE'S NO NEED TO DO IT. NOT THAT MUCH SNOW ON THE FUCKING DRIVE! IT'LL MELT IN THE COMING DAYS. BUT THAT FUKTARD HAD TO COME THROUGH! SERIOUSLLY! MORONS! AND MY HEART GOES INTO MY THROAT. THANKFULLY IT APPEARS THE TRUCK WAS UN-TOUCHED. - And now... the fucking phone rings, and rings, and rings and... no messages. I know when it's 9.00 every day because... the fucking phone! I'm SO glad I don't have all that bull-shit any longer. - So, as for the rest of this day? Well... the sun is shining and it's chilled. There's a trip to St. A. for “bread” and the decision as to whether or not to risk more wasted time and such going to Enosburgh for the clips or just head to Granby, more time and gas, and to Home Depot. I suppose I could put 50USD into the banque (the 5s) and shop or something. I just need to “Think (about it)”... a la Lyn Collins. - Meanwhile, just waiting for the call to the loo and 2nd coffee. - Almost 9 hours' sleep (broken, of course) and still exhausted. I'm my Opa: sleep all night and wake miserably exhausted. (I can't help but wonder what, if anything, Wednesday's blood-work will show. HAH! A “reason” for all this chronic fatigue? Or is it all just “stress and depression”?) - 9.48 The "lap-top" Journal is up to 12 pages already! Time to "code" and get this on-line! I see a LOT of "bold" and a LOT of "red" font this month. (It's beginning to turn back to the "Shelter Days"... just one dump of bull-shit after another. Any wonder I'm not in a heap in the yard... or the woods... or at the bottom of the Champlain. - 18.57 Got 2 clamps at Ace, Enosburgh (the only 2 they had in the fucking store). Got another bag of rolls in St.A. from Hannaford. Back by 16.30. Had 2 peanut-butters on rolls. Tired. Napping. Fukkit! - 20.00 Nap done. Still tired. Good. Maybe I'll be back to sleep soon. HAHAHAH!

Sat.23.Feb: 0.58 WHY OH WHY DO I HATE TO GO TO BED AT NIGHT? (Because I know there's going to be pain.) - Three peanut-butter rolls, three apple turnovers. Daily “nourishment”. There's to be a lot of “make-up” to do between Monday evening and Wednesday morning... Tuesday night actually because Wednesday is “Fasting Bloods”. Oh well. The worse it is, the more telling it will be. May as well give what's “normal”, I suppose. I can't wait to see the “results”. - Anyway, that extra bag of rolls comes in handy now, I've finished the first one already. Ramen to follow! - She'll be here all day today, gone Sunday. - Freezing rain in tonight's forecast, rain on Sunday. Got the tarp just in time! - Too much time on soc.med. all day. And that nap is what's keeping me “going”. - But the day on Friday went along in peace. No arguments. Thankfully. - Oh, must add: She'd gone (on Friday) for an oil change in Enosburgh. Came back to tell that somebody drove by a restaurant in town and SHOT the window! Things are going ever so poorly in the world these days. I wonder when it'll reach THIS shit-hole and how. Truth is, there are those here who deserve... but I reserve comment. - Time to try for some rest. Had the vinegar, had my smoke. Time to try for what will, no doubt, be broken sleep... a set of “naps”. It's going to be a “heavy” day ahead, no doubt. But there are music files to work on! Yay me! In the room... probably all day. No prob. - 9.19 UP at 9.10. Bottle pee, vitamins, coffee and dressed, and feeling rather like heavy-laden shit, thanks much. AND I've a scratch on my nose that I don't recall having had when I went to bed this morning! Must've been some kind of night. Well.. not important. 'tis Saturday. She's in. My responsibility is simply to stay away as much as possible. Then put the tarp on the truck before the rains. Other-wise? Jackshit Fukkall, to be certain. (I'd like, rather much, to go back to bed right about now... just suddenly feeling quite drowsy.) - Never mind... time for a smoke then soc.med. then MUSIC files! - 14.24 DUMFUX!!! ONE OF THE MORONS JUST CAME INTO THE BACK YARD WITH A FULL-OUT BACK-HOE AND PILED THE FUCKING SNOW UP HIGHER! I WENT TO HLS, SEATED AT THE DINING-ROOM TABLE (doing taxes, as it were) AND ASKED: “DO YOU SEE WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR BACK-YARD?” “NO. SHOULD I?” “I BELIEVE YOU SHOULD!” SHE TOOK A BLOODY SNAP AND SENT IT TO HER FLORIDA SPORE! MEANWHILE, I SIMPLY SAID: “I'LL DIAL 911 THIS TIME! I'LL GET A NEW TRUCK OUT OF IT!” (Had the in-breed so much as tapped the truck!) ANYWAY, NOW, WITH THE SNOW PILED THAT HIGH, IT WON'T MELT UNTIL WELL INTO JUNE! (None of my concern, at this point, to be sure.) STILL... BRILLIANT SUN. NO SNOW IN THE FORECAST UNTIL AFTER MID-NIGHT, THEN THAWING TEMPERATURES WITH RAIN FOR TOMORROW... THIS IS WHY INCEST HAS BEEN FORBIDDEN SINCE BIBLICAL TIMES. BUT... IT'S ALSO WHY BESTIALITY ISN'T OUT-LAWED IN THIS SHIT-HOLE STATE. - Meanwhile... I'm deleting old e-mail accounts, “cleaning” the “deleted and suspended” soc.meds. and cleaning the “Mots Passe” sheet. Keeping busy. Hungry as all hell with Ramen, rolls and peanut-butter available. But... never mind. I could almost use a NAP... especially after the snow-scapade. Fucking morons. - 16.45 Took a nap for about 30 minutes, woke, went out to put the tarp on the truck. Hopefully the clips hold. It's rather a good fit, though the 10x10 would have been perfect. Anyway... She's not even here! Left in the truck, left Hallie and Mimou here... and apparently, they've had NOTHING TO EAT ALL DAY from since breakfast. “So busy!” that one. No. No fucking sense, and no fucking sense of “time management”. Honestly. Sickening. Oh well... - Meanwhile, I've cleaned the “MotsPasse” and backed all up off the lap-top which started to fuck about as I was “cleaning” (before nap). So that's good... some sort of “something accomplished”. - And now... back to the music files. I need to get them done. - Out-side, it's well above freezing and the sun is setting brilliantly. Another day is shot to shit. Amen. - 21.10 At about 20.00, she hadn't returned yet, and I emptied the fucking paper ash from the stove, left just enough embers to re-start an actual “fire” and stuffed the stove with wood... literally... “STUFFED”. Well... she rolled in, gave some sad-fuck excuse for not saying that she was leaving (WELL before 16.00), something about “altar linens”, took Hallie out for a stroll and returned to plant her arse in the recliner. OK. We watched a bit of TV and I've just come back into the room and she just got up and... AND... YES! As I expected... went to try to stuff something into the stove. She just CAN'T leave it alone. She physically and mentally CANNOT leave that fucking stove alone! THAT'S where all the fucking fire-wood goes... But of course, if the wood doesn't burn-away quickly enough... she's got one less thing to whine about. It's a true “mental illness”. (And all the while I keep thinking: SHE knows best because SHE grew up a “farm girl” and I know NOTHING because I came from... NY. Oh... fukkoff!) - Never mind. - 2 peanut-butter sammiches and water for the day. Tomorrow she says she'll be out by 7.00 anyway. If I can, I'll get food during the day. I also need to get snax for the little ones. I've mentioned it. It's taken for granted that *I* buy the snax for them, NOT HER! Yeah? Good “Catholic”. Fuck. - Well... a bit more water for the night, vinegar to follow and then me to follow with off to bed. Well, at least I'm “comfortable” these nights, with the afghan, and the radiator can be turned down, using less electric. WHAT-the-fuck-EVER.

Sun.24.Feb: 0.22 and I've done it again... late... and I'm hungry but not for peanut-butter nor Ramen and I don't want to eat now before having vinegar because I want the vinegar to work through over-night. Oh well... Time for a smoke, vinegar, bottle pee and a nap. HLS will be out by about 7.00 so I've got “Morning Routine” later. MUST be up by about 8.00. Isn't that speshul? It would be nice to be appreciated and not simply taken for granted. But then again... appreciation would eliminate the “House Nigger” status and we can't possibly have that! - 1.45 There's a flat for 700USD, 2BR, in that red house on Locust in Champlain! Listed yesterday. MUST ring them during the day, make an appointment, go see! - Now? Last smoke and NAP! - 8.14 I'm TIRED! But “my morning routine” is done, having powered-up the lap-to at exactly 8.00. Even the morning smoke. I have to “re-set” my clock here because on Wednesday morning, I have to be on the road by this hour for... the DREAM I woke out of:
This one was “first person”, to be sure. I was at a clinic or ER of sorts, going for a physical. The staff were quite nice, the surroundings, rather “medical”. The faded blue walls, not well-lit, as a public clinic might be expected to be. I was in some sort of “hospital attire”, though not a “Johnny-coat”, more like cotton trousers and top. A Nurse came to take “medical history” and info. Very kind, soft-spoken. Others milling about the place and us. We were at a counter of sorts as she asked, very hushed: “Is there any reason they might fine 'razalazaphrazapam'?” (That's not what she said but it was something similar... a long name of what I understood to be some sort of “enzyme” or another, but I wasn't all too complete certain of what it was.) “I don't know.” I replied. “What it is?” “It shows abuse.” she said. I thought of my child-hood and recent events-in-fact and was a bit nervous thinking “Yeah, there cause for that, but I'd rather hope... well, maybe it's BETTER that they DO, at least it'll show and somebody will finally know the truth.” but I didn't say. Rather, I answered “I certainly hope not.” “So do I.” she said. She finished the paper-work and left me alone. A fellow, “Orderly” of sorts, came and handed me some tablets and a glass of chocolate milk, said nothing, walked on with his duties. I swallowed the tablets thinking they were for me anyway and finished the chocolate milk. I was a bit hungry and the chocolate milk was good. And I walked about a bit, I suddenly felt as if I was “removed” from the surroundings. The meds were kicking in. I wasn't nervous nor frightened but I wondered why they'd waited until so late in the evening to get to what was supposed to be general blood draws. Was I to stay the night? Perhaps. No problem. Just at that moment, somebody came toward me, as if it was obvious that the meds were taking effect. I thought, “Well, at last, I'll be brought in and this will be under weigh.” and as the “Orderly” came closer, looking directly in my eyes, I woke.
So, it seems the physical on Wednesday is very much on and in my mind. Charming. No, I'm not particularly nervous about it, to say. I AM looking forward to the results so I have SOME idea of what's going on with me, the fatigue, slow-healing foot, the “episodes” I've had, particularly the one that got me to go to the ER some months ago. “Bad blood”? Something else? I certainly do NOT want to know, at all, anything remotely associated with ANY sort of “CA”. If I don't know, I'll be MUCH better off. But, of course, if life goes as it always has, the bloods will come back perfectly “WNL” and nothing will be “detected”. Alas. - Meanwhile, the light is on in the kitchen. A note “The kids have had breakfast”. I didn't even hear her this morning, at all. Out-side, it's drizzling. There's a thin sheet of ice on the back walk. The tarp is on the truck. It's another grey morning, and just above the freezing mark. I came in from smoke and Mimou went out. I need to get dressed and... what-ever. At some point during the day, I'll toddle over to the store for a sammich. I have to eat something today after yesterday's relative “fasting”. And other than that... there's that flat in Champlain that I'd like to ring about. Worth a look-see. - As for “sleep” last night-this morning, it didn't take long to doze off. But almost 2 hours later, to the moment, I had to get up and pee. That was the only “disruption” through the night. Can't complain. - So let's see what THIS day brings along... Shall we? - Forecast, as I see here, is calling for rain and 4° during the day then snow... tonight and tomorrow. Wednesday is still calling for clear and -13° for the high. Delightful! - Oh well... on with it. - 13.24 WELL... Just called and left a message about the flat in Champlain. Had gone out earlier to figure out where to park the truck and I see that, behind the phone shed is NOT viable because water pools. So, it stays where it is. - The WIND is quite blust'ry at the moment but I went to the store, got ,25lb turkey and provolone each, package of cookies and ice cream. Seriously... I sit here worried about having cash when the 5s are here, more than enough to get food with. But I just don't think of them right away and when I do, I don't want to spend them... as if there's something DIRE to hold them for. - Moving along... when I got into the hole just a mew moments ago, sitting at the kitchen table, changing my boots to slippers... BANG! TUMBLE-TUMBLE! BANG! HLS's BED-ROOM DOOR SLAMMED SHUT! A COLD WIND CAME BLOWING THROUGH THE PLACE! SO I WENT TO CHECK AND TO FIND... HER FUCKING WINDOW, THE ONE SHE LEAVES OPEN, WAS LAYING ON THE FLOOR AT BED-SIDE! HER LITTLE TABLE LAMPS, OF WHICH THERE ARE THREE, ALSO ON THE FLOOR AND SHIT SCATTERED ABOUT ON THE WINDOW-SIDE OF THE BED! THE FUCKING WINDOW WAS LITERALLY BLOWN OUT OF THE FRAME! I'VE TRIED TO GET IT BACK IN BUT THE ONLY WAY TO HOLD IT IS TO SHUT IT COMPLETELY AND LOCK IT... AND THE FUCKING LOCK DOESN'T CATCH PROPERLY. (NO SUPRISES THERE... TYPICALLY COMMON FOR THIS RAT-HOLE.) ANYWAY... I TOOK A PHOTO OF THE “INCIDENT”, SENT IT VIA “TEXT” AND PUT THE FUCKINIG WINDOW BACK! IMAGINE IF NOBODY HAD BEEN HERE! THE DAMNED WIND WOULD HAVE BEEN BLOWING IN UNTIL SHE ROLLED HER ARSE BACK IN, THERE'S SNOW AND RAIN IN THE FORECAST WHICH WOULD HAVE ADDED TO THE “DELIGHT” OF THE COLD, THE FURNACE WOULD HAVE BEEN ROLLING ALL THE WHILE, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THE THERMOSTAT IS DIRECTLY ACROSS FROM THE OPEN WINDOW... AND YET... I “FREE-RIDE”. YEP. OK. NO PROB. - Anyway-and-so... turkey and cheese for “meal” with ice cream. Cookies later. But I MUST remember to get to bed, like it or not, at an early hour... wake tomorrow... at an early hour, and no matter what... NO NAPS TODAY! - Of note: Thus far, the tarp is still on the truck. That's a good matter. Time for me to “roll along”. - 21.35 and time to hit the HAY... HEY! - She rolled in shortly after 20.00 all nicey-nicey. We chatted about the window “event”. She made all sorts of “didn't mean it” and I just let it ride. Truth is, there's no sense in be-labouring. She had a drink. I declined. We chatted a bit more and now... the stove is RE-stoked, she's in her “room” and I'm here to get ready to force me to bed. (OH! But I WOULD love a v-ton tonight... or even the beer that's here. There's no reason why I can't, but I DO have to be lucid for the morning... and the call to the “Dept. of Ed.” which, as I re-read the letter, appears to have opened my opportunity to enter into a “payment agreement” with them! Oh my! We'll see... in the morning. - Anyway... this day is done and I'm about the same. Not tired but.. I need to get to bed... and to sleep, and awake EARLY tomorrow morning... instead of going to bed EARLY tomorrow morning.

Mon.25.Feb: 0.46 WELL THAT PLAN FAILED AGAIN... STILL AWAKE, DRESSED AND AT THE TABLE! FUCK ME! OK. EARLIER ALARM TO BE SET AND UP AND OUT OF BED NO MATTER WHAT... 7.00! PERIOD! - Meanwhile, the damned WIND is banging against the house and I'm hoping it doesn't snap those plastic window-guards on the truck. OH... just bloody FUCK ME! - 8.31 *** THE WIND! *** Just in from morning smoke, yes, I slept through 3 alarms this morning. Well, of course I did. Got out of bed at 8.14! NOT good. But, I looked at the truck and the tarp is still on, blowin' in the wind, as it were. - It was difficult to get to sleep last night. Couldn't get comfortable. The room wouldn't get warm. And there was a soft “thumping” sound, as if there was water dripping a on something. Oddly, the sound was “in my head”. Not my heart-beat, but “there”. I finally got into a position where it went away and I fell asleep. Oh well. This morning, all's well. No “leaks”. Fine. But my neck is so stiff. - Anyway... it's another day and it's Monday and there's the Dept. of Ed. to be dealt with soon. Not so sure what follows but... it's another day and I'm awake so... it's to be dealt with. - Minus 1 out there now, and temps to drop steadily through the day until tomorrow... -16 again. Winter... still here, not rushing away. - Fine... on with the day then it is. - 10.17 and she's rolled out again... “going to the church” about “linens”, hopes to be back by “noon”. What? There's a funeral being planned, no specific date, and she's been off to the “church” for days now. Gee, I wonder: One of those “prayer circles” Estie used to talk about (where THEY prayed to Jesus for the destruction of “enemies” or something)? What-ever. - Meanwhile, at 9.50 I tried ringing “Pioneer” and had to leave a “call-back” thingie. “With-in 3 business days”. WHAT? Tried Dept. of Ed... same shit: they won't even take the call because of Pioneer. So? So... we wait. Tough shit. There's another payment to be made on 1 March. Let it roll. - Meanwhile, my stomach is “off”. The wind continues. We had a brief squall. Hallie's with HLS. And this room is COLD... there's a “current”, not even a “breeze” nor a “draught”, coming through that's really VERY quite cold. “Monday”. Winter. Alas. Oh well. Fukkit. 2nd coffee. - 10.46 Just off the phone with EV! Nice and wonderful chatting. And SUCH a RELIEF to hear her voice. - Well... on with what-ever I can conjure-up next. - 16.18 AND.. .SHE'S GONE! AT LAST! But not before more bull-shit. I'm telling her to let the stove burn-down so I can empty the (fucking paper) ash and AS I'm saying... she stuffs more wood in and then gets up-set WITH ME for telling her not to put more in there. Oh well... - Moving along to the “better” end of the day. Rang Medicaid for a new card... the idiot got the Soc.Sec. number wrong, last digit. THEN got my “ID” number wrong. Illiteracy in VT. Rampant! But... the latest is: new card to arrive “in 2 weeks”. Yeah? You told me that in November of 2018. Not expecting anything. Next on the list: Pioneer who said “all's perfect” with the account! FINE! That's ALL I need to know. (Don't believe any of it, but it sounded good and re-assuring.) So... there we have it. - Meanwhile and now... WIND still beating the house. Temps are dropping. But the tarp on the truck is holding its own. - Now to “semi-relax”. Left-overs on sammiches for “meal” again. No prob. None at all. It'll suffice. - OH OH OH OH OH!!! SPOKE WITH EV TODAY TOO! She sounded tired but said she's well. I'm RELIEVED! - 22.23 Showered, but no dressing change. Beard trimmed, neck done with “trimmer”. I'll shave tomorrow. Both ash buckets are empty. wood stacked for me and the Q. I had... HAD to empty the stove before emptying the buckets, hauling the wood and re-stoking the fucking stove. The floors got a quick Hoover. For “meal”, ONE sammich and then, for “snax”, ONE Ramen. So there we have today's “intake”. Yet, after shower, I weighed-in at 172lbs. Imagine that? And now... I'm GOING TO BE IN BED BY MID-NIGHT! - Meanwhile, out-side, the fucking WIND is STILL howling. I'm SICK of the fucking WIND now. Cold is one thing... this constant WIND is fucking insane! And not just because of the tarp... it's just at the point of ANNOYING! - OK. That all said and done... - Oh... a note on the day: Ms. Arse mentioned that she'd “put the heat up from 65F to 67F”. “Do you notice the difference?” Are you fucking... never mind, I know the answer to the question I won't ask. - And tonight's shower wasn't all too hot either. Dimballs leaves his 8-year-old daughter-kid up there all day... ALONE! HLS says “She's safe up there.” Says me “As long as she doesn't have to use the stove to cook.” (It's propane.) None of my business until there's a disaster... at which point... none of my business. - I want a quick smoke now. Then some water. Then some vinegar (I didn't have any last night before bed). Then... SLEEP! PLEASE!

Tue.26.Feb: 0.30 FUCKED AGAIN! WELL? No matter what... UP not later than 7.00! - 7.29 and the “morning routine”, including smoke, is done. Out of bed at 7.15, at the beckoning of Mimou, if one can imagine such a thing. And indeed, I am TIRED! Although, probably no more nor less than if I'd slept until 10.00. The “usual”. - The sun is shining and the WIND has finally passed along to else-where. I'm going to take that tarp off the truck... when the sun finally gets to it. Nothing in the forecast for the next few days so it's not necessary. But I suppose it passed “the test”. It's still there. The good news about this is that it appears I can wake tomorrow at 7.00-ish, get things done round here and still make my 9.00 appointment... if all goes well with the truck. - It's -16° out there this morning. -13 for the “high”. Same for tomorrow so I see what I'll be facing. Well... let's just get through THIS day and see how THAT works. A hair-trim is in order, get things together for tomorrow (garbage and such). Looks like that's the main issues. Other-wise... try to NOT take a nap and be exhausted enough tonight. Also... find food. That should do it. For now... let's what-ever! - 10.44 NAP! - 11.29 and so much for that nap. And Mimou slept on the bed with. How cute. Now... it's COLD in this room. And I need to get the tarp off the truck and run it a bit. And then? Nothing really. Good! - 12.43 OK! The tarp is off the truck at last! (There's still some wind but NOTHING compared to the past couple of days.) The truck started and I rolled across to the PO to post the form for Medicaid (that I COULD have reported as “Work-Related/On the Job” and had them bill HLS but I didn't... and I shall tell her of such... to be certain), and to fetch the shit for HLS. Then, rolled round “the Square” to the store for “Chunky” soup to put with Ramen tonight (“meal”), package of cookies (for now/lunch and a quick, light evening “snax”), and TWO half'n'halfs (one for me and one to replace the half that I consumed yesterday that wasn't “mine”... never let it be said that I mooch or accept “free rides”... fucking qunt), the rolled back to park in the sun at the end of the walk. Put the “groceries” on the ComCard as well as, just before leaving, I've ordered, from “Walmarde-on-line”, those “RFID” covers... 8 of them for considerably less than what NRA charges for theirs, for banque and passport cards... on the same card. ComCard is getting some activity. Goood thing I'll replace the money out tomorrow... - And now... for a break in the day and some TV and cookies! - Meanwhile... it's still bloody cold out there, but the sun is shining... may THAT remain as in the forecast. - Mimou has just come back into his little bed. - OH! The grey kitty is in the barn today. LARGE KITTY! Poor thing. But I'm NOT bringing that one in and I can't... I simply CANNOT feed that one too. Shit! At this point, I can't even give THESE little ones their regular snax! Honestly... - It rather burns my arse that HLS takes it for granted that I'll get the snax and such. But then again, I have to remember the 100 she gives me monthly... and that better continue... That pays the snax, in addition to the other shit I have to get to maintain HER... *HER* house. Fuck. OH! To be out of and away from here. PLEASE! SOON! - 15.54 This day is passing rather quickly... and I've just made more changes to the G's site... including the “Thanks” page in the nav menu and such. Made a call to Denis and left a message. It's the smallest of “things” that are helping keep me from having another nap! Hopefully I won't go into “over-drive” tonight when it's time to shut the lights. But... no matter, the “activity” on the G's site is always good. Letting it go “stale” isn't a good look, nor does it do much in the way of keeping it “active” on the Internet, and I'd like to keep it “active”... even though I'm never sure if anybody sees it. - And so... the sun is shining, the air is CRISP, the winds are still bloody-well blowing, Mimou is in his “bed” here in the room, Hallie was last seen in the living-room on the floor. Soon it will be “meal” time and from then... time will rush out and away and it'll be tomorrow. Fuck. - 19.00 The jammies are in the dryer, “meals” are done, done, done... for the night. I was on-line when Hallie came into the room, wanting to go out-side so I let her and came back to the room. Moments later, Mimou came in, meowing. I got up, went to the kitchen and there was Hallie at the door! This is about, I've lost count how many times he's come to get me to let her in! Those two are AMAZING! - 23.00 FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! - 23.21 Out of the shower at last. Shaved. The clothes are in the damned wash. Had I realised the hour, I wouldn't have bothered but... they're wet, nothing can be done to stop that. So much for a “good night's sleep”. I probably wouldn't have gotten one anyway. It's going to be a rather difficult day tomorrow... I can see it now: Breakfast and pee for the little ones, take the garbage out, hit the road, Richford by 9.00, Enosburgh to get money make deposit, Bedford to make deposit get smokes, St.Albans to get snax for the little ones, and some-place in there, get gas for the truck! Probably won't be back until noon... at the very earliest! Once upon a time that would have been a “normal” day. Imagine? I've become such a shit, panicking over such petty nonsense. Oh well... so be it. - Oddly, my foot isn't bothering me tonight. But I'm going to “dress” it before bed anyway. There's WALKING to be done tomorrow and I want to be sage. 12 weeks isn't until next Tuesday. Fuck me if it doesn't still bother me. I'll enquire tomorrow. See if it's relatively “normal”. If not? Not. - For now... there's time to pass and water to be had. I've got coffee ready for on-the-road tomorrow. Vitamins at the ready in one of those little plastic bottles I got when I needed for the road trips. Out of the clinic, coffee and vitamins... on the road! - I hear the washer trying to spin. YAY! (A fucking hour for that shit, the way the dryer doesn't dry.) - Well... that's that. - What made me late was the sudden “compulsion” to do book-keeping! Figuring how much I'll (not) get tomorrow, how much goes to which banque, how much I (won't) have left. And oddly... I HAVE to calculate the little ones in my remainder... and there's no guarantee that it will come back. We shall see. As it is, I have to “live” on about 270... and that includes the little ones. I don't be-grudge them. I mean, there's that grey cat in the barn that I could include... if he didn't spray the damned house... I'd get him in here. Oh well... that's just me. No sense pondering it. “Life” will roll as it will. - I'm going to have another water and some soc.med. whilst I wait for the clothes. - FUKKIT!

Wed.27.Feb:1.13 I pissed the time looking at “Mint” mobile services and ALMOST bought a new phone JUST for the fucking number for bull-shit on Minds. NOPE! NOT! I've got MORE fucking phone numbers and I don't NEED fucking service all over the fucking place! SO... I dressed the fucking toe, checked the fucking card to find the fucking Soc.Sec. is posted LESS the fucking fee for the fucking Dept. of fucking Ed. and NOW... I'm going to try for a fucking NAP! - 7.12 Well... getting to sleep wasn't all too bad and none too good And only one trip to the loo during the night/morning. Then came the 6.00 alarm and I dozed, the 6.30 alarm, and I dozed. And by 6.48, up and out of bed. And here I sit, the little ones were out, I had a smoke, the stove is re-started and I'm dressed... and tired... well... not so much “tired” as I just don't want to be awake. - Clear skies and COLD... as forecasted. - Had an odd dream at some point though:
It didn't have so much of a start that I can recall but I was trying to keep my kippa on as father and I were roaming about some-where. Not in a synagogue, though there was some indication of that... either in thought or where we were. Two rather Orthodox men came up to us and began talking with me as I continued pfutzing with my kippa. One asked me “You're Jewish?” and I, not wanting father to hear, but couldn't keep him from so doing, answered... in Hebrew: “Ken. Nackon. Biddie-ookh. Ken, ani.” Father gave a bit of a nasty look of some sort of disgust to both me and the men and they were rather insistent upon us all going to services. I knew father certainly didn't want to and I knew he knew nothing about such things and I was a bit anxious about how to get to services and how he'd behave during. As we walked along what resembled a street in Old Jerusalem or the likes... I woke.
Now, I wonder what brought THAT about. - Meanwhile, I'm just waiting for the morning call to the loo. I've had my first coffee, probably shouldn't have the second but... And I'm nervous about the truck... starting, rolling, making it through the day. But... it will be what it will be and there's no way of telling until the day is done. As Ev put it: We do what we have to do. And so I shall. - I'm rather glad I didn't actually buy that phone this morning. And it's nice to know the services of “Mint” mobile anyway... if I should decide to get one. For now... what I have is sufficient... indeed. - Well... busy morning ahead. Let's roll. - 14.12 AND... The accounts are balanced, the little ones have had lunch snax (thanks to me... AGAIN), today's “shopping” is put away and such, the stove is re-stoked, today's post is in. It's been A DAY! - I was out of here at 8.00 and JUST AS I GO TO PULL OUT OF THE DRIVE... A LOGGER COMES ALONG THE HIGHGATE ST. IT NEVER FAILS: THE VERY SECOND I HEAD FOR ANY STREET IN THIS HELL-HOLE TOWN, SOME-BODY COMES ALONG. So, I let him go... We both make the left, heading toward the Lake Rd... We both make the right onto the Lake Rd. and... we BOTH ROLL ALONG THE LAKE RD. to the Berkshire Ctr. Rd. where we both make the right onto the Berkshire Ctr. Rd. to roll along to the Richford-No. Branch Rd. and... we roll along to the River St. in Richford... AT ABOUT 50km/h! ALL THE WAY! And the clock ticks the moments away. At the light in Richford, he continued to the Province St. and I made the right onto So. Main! AT LAST! What a drive! BUT... I was at the clinic by about 8.40! Good thing I went so slowly or I'd've been there before I left the house! Not to mention, it was probably better for the truck, considering the COLD of -20° this morning. Anyway... into the clinic and a few moments' wait. - Into the “office” clearly indicated “Blood Draw” and I don't remember the gal's name but... QUICK AND PAINLESS! 2 vials taken and... CHECK-OUT! BOOM! DONE. Moments. All that “anxiety” last night for... moments. Anyway... next appointment, next Wednesday... 10.00. - Back into the truck and off to the Community banque, Enosburgh. As I got out of the truck, an elder gentleman asked if I had a lighter. His door locks had frozen!!! How WELL, I know how THAT is. So he used my lighter as I went into the banque. Pulled the cash from the “Thievery Card”, made my deposit. The feller came in, gave me the lighter. It worked. He'd warmed the key, thawed the lock. I must remember that. (I probably should have watched, but I didn't.) - OK... back into the truck and roll along the 105 to St. Albans and Walmarde. Took my time, to be honest, and IT PAID OFF!!! Got the Hallie and Mimou snax and strolled about, primarily to break a 100 with a bit more than the snax. As I strolled, I thought: Got another “Grey” candle, BUT THE DEAL OF THE DAY? THOSE “MUKLUK SWEATER BOOTS” I'D BEEN LOOKING AT THROUGH THE WINTER... ORIGINALLY 19,99$, MARKED-DOWN TO 11,00$ LAST WEEK... ONE PAIR IN SIZE 11 LEFT ON A RACK MARKED... 3,00$!!!!! I GRABBED THEM! They're “womens” but... FUKDAT! 17$ OFF? (They're a tough tight, but I'm wearing regular socks with them... to stretch them a touch.) MINE!!! BOOM (again)! AND... I GOT A LITTLE CLOCK-RADIO... VERY TINY, BLUE LIGHTING. (It's already set-up and playing “CKOI” as I type. I have a clock in this hole, it plays very nicely, has in-put for the iPod... takes no space... 19,98$ Very nice, indeed. I've wanted a clock, I've wanted a nice radio... now I have BOTH!) - OUT the door, back into the truck and to Mobil where 25$ in High-Test and THE TANK IS FULL AGAIN!!! - Not to waste and opportunity to keep “back-up” of necessities... into St.A. to Rite-Aide where... SHAMPOO! 2 extras. (When I put them into the “Pharm” box I see that I had one there already so... NO PROB! 3 are MUCH better than none! The bad in this was that I'd forgotten to get more pads for the toe, and at Rite-Aide, they were TWICE the price of Walmarde. That'll teach me (or not). Still, getting the shampoo makes me feel better. - Out of Rite-Aide, back into the truck and a stop at Hannaford's for today's “chicken” pieces (which I now have to eat all of this evening so there's no left-overs because I've no place to put them AND... the “Q” will be here through Monday now... Oh well. Got ice cream (which will be interesting to finish as well for the same reason as the chicken), a jar of coffee (of course), a cheap package of cookies (nasty but cheap), V8, a package of franks (for during the week-end) and... AND... ONE PACKAGE OF ROLLS WHICH, AT THIS FUCKING SELF-CHECK, SCANNED *** FOUR FUCKING TIMES ***!!! I thought the total rather high so I checked the receipt. INSTEAD OF ONE PACKAGE OF ROLLS AT 3,89$... IT WAS FOUR AT 15,56!!! NOT VERY HAPPY, I WENT DIRECTLY TO “CUSTOMER SERVICE” WHERE WE ALL HAD TO STAND AND WAIT WHILST THE ONE GAL THERE RANG-UP MANY MULTIPLE LOTTERY TICKETS FOR SOME OBVIOUS FOREIGNER!!! So much for “time-saving”. FUCK! Anyway, I got my 11,67$ back!!! Wasted my time because of the scanner but... better to get the money back NOW. The little lady at the cash tells: There's a hand-held scanner directly above where one puts one's basket as one scans... AND THE SHIT SCANS THE BASKET!!! AND THAT ONE DOESN'T ALWAYS MAKE A SOUND WHEN IT DOES! FUCKING RACKET, THAT! Thankfully, I usually don't go into St.A. to that store any more. But I wonder how often it may have happened to me in the past... and I never noticed. Fuck. - ERRANDS COMPLETE! I decided NOT to go to Bedford today. I mean, she'll be here all week-end... I'll need the get-away. And there's nothing coming off the CIBC card so... no mad rush. Besides... it was LATE already. The little ones had been alone all morning, it was time for their lunch-snax! So... I rolled back to the hole. - Got back at 12.59! FIVE FUCKING HOURS and I really hadn't been any-where, but I'd been out... IN THE FUCKING COLD!!! Oh well... make-up time for all the time I've been sitting in the darkness of the little room. - In the door, stir the embers in the stove, put the radiator back on in the little room (I'd turned it off when I left... mistake, that), grab the PO key, across the street, grab the post and... BACK IN TO SERVE LUNCH-SNAX... and into the room to balance accounts, un-pack the day's loot, settle me and things, have the coffee I'd made in a water bottle, take my vitamins and... turn the radio on, light the other “grey” candle and... now, as Mimou comes in... it's time for a NAP! I'm exhausted. And next Wednesday... I get to “travel” in the morning... again! JOY! (Not.) - But I have the slippers I wanted... at such a bargain! The truck made the errands. And there's food for later! And it's 14.48... just enough time for a bit of a snooze. Delightful. And I can snooze to the radio! Imaginez-vous! - DONE! - 16.23 WOW, the new clock-radio sets itself and it's the same as the lap-top! GOODNESS! - Just up from a 40-something minute nap and ready to go back to sleep! It's been a day. - 23.26 and so much for the plans of another “early” night. Alas. But by 23.17 I was out of a delightful scrub-shower and all traces of “me” are now back to where they belong: in the darkness of the “little room”. The bed is in order, waiting. The house is still. I have to stoke the stove and “put on my face” and that's that for this. Am pondering no dressing on the toes tonight. Pondering. - I'm trying something: I've put the ice cream and the left-over chicken (from “meal”) on the porch. With temperatures looking as though they won't be going above freezing, and even if they do, only but about a degree or 2, I want to see if I can keep frozen foods on the porch in Winter. Why now? I don't know. Just curiosity, I suppose. - And there was a message from HLS: She's thinking of going to visit Harold in hospital tomorrow morning. Anything to keep from coming back to “do” anything round here. “I may try to visit Harold in the (morning emoji) then I have an eye Doctor [sic] appointment@ 10:50. How did your appointment go today? Hope MS. Hallie&Mr.Minou are fine!” My reply: “All's well. Thankfully the wind stopped at long last. Everybody has more snax so there's much happiness.” To which the reply: “Thanks so much for spoiling the kids so much well I've made it to another (almost) work week. So for now it's sleepie-nite-night time (snoozing emoji)” Yep... Fine. - ALSO... I sent a text to the Champlian flat. Semi-retired profession gentleman. If still available, may I make an appointment to look at it, at your convenience? No reply. Oh well... “Time”. - Now? Waiting for the feet to dry. - Oh, the slippers are a touch tight but quite comfy as far as warmth. 3$! I can't complain. And I AM liking the new clock-radio. It's not playing, but it's nice to have a clock... and the blue lighting isn't so damned obnoxious. - Having quite the time with Minds and Woodhauler. Being attacked from left and right. Blocking does nothing. What a fuck. That site's deteriorated so much since ... well ... David Kirkland and the nights at 5225. Oh well.

Thu.28.Feb: 1.26 Well? Done it again! Now for that nap... I've got the alarm set for 7.00 and I WILL get up! Trying to get into a “regular” routine... Fat chance. - OH! Twitter put the G's account back! (I think I'll keep it... considering all the bull-shit Minds is giving. Next? Gab! LOL... as they say.) - PS: I'm hungry, but I've had my vinegar. Time to get to bed! - 12.01 AND HERE WE HAVE ANOTHER DAY... AND... I heard the 7.00 alarm and ignored it and the call to order from Mimou... dozed until 7.55 (which I saw on the new clock!) at which time I finally got up, out of bed, let the little ones out and re-started the stove. Next came serving breakfast for them, having my own coffee and let the “diners” in... by 8.05. From there, the morning didn't stop. Morning smoke in the sun and cold followed by cleaning the clench-guard, giving-in to the day and getting dressed. This was followed by re-stacking some wood in the garage, adding to the kitchen stack, then... out to the back to bring in the felled branches that had been in the yard from since BEFORE THE FIRST SNOW! Clip and cut them down, stuff them into the stove, add more wood from the garage and THEN... HOOVER... rather lightly but to appear quite clean. THAT was followed by MOPPING the kitchen floor. And now? NOW? *** I'VE ORDERED THE PHONE FROM “MINT” MOBILE! 54$ FOR A NEW PHONE (OH JOLLY JOY AND FUCK) which will, hopefully, work with the WiFi. There was an “offer” on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning of only 54$ BUT TODAY, THAT order didn't exist. Luckily, I kept the book-mark on the web. Placed the order. FUCK! But I figure, this way I'll have a damned phone with me in the truck and I won't have to be bothered worrying about break-downs and being stranded AND, should I decide to travel again, I'll have a phone that works in just about every cm. of the state of NY! No more waiting for WiFi bull-shit. It comes with 3 months of service so... I have 3 months to decide whether or not I want to actually keep it. (Hopefully I'll get a 518 number too.) - OK... Meanwhile, at about 7.25 this morning: a message from the folks with the flat in Champlain. “It's a large 1 BR, 750 includes everything.” Yeah? Advertised as “2 BR” at 700. BUT... it's rather ugly in the photos. “Dated” kitchen cabinets with nice, black appliances. The carpeting in the “BR” is UGLY! The colour of the wall is hideous. There appears to be some sort of “splitting” of the base-boards. And there's an exposed chimney in one of the rooms. Also, curiously, there appears to be some sort of “vent” in a door... I'm wondering if it's the “main” entrance door. I believe I'll go for a look anyway. Good to look, be looking... get ideas as to what's there. - Oh, and too also... I've printed a new “MotsPasse” and added it to the old one that I keep on file. 20 pages! Goodness me! - Now? Time for another coffee. I've finished my cookies so there's only bread to be eaten. And I dressed the toes for this morning's work. May as well... the 12 weeks are up on the 5th March. Let's just hope... it's all we can do. - Having trouble on Minds... “Shadow-banned” now. People are such fucking liars and general bull-shitters. I don't know why I let it get to me. It's not something that affects me or my existence. I just still can't accept being assumed the idiot... I KNOW WHAT AN IDIOT IS... I reside in a state PACKED with them. - Anyway, no sense lingering on it. There's a day to be dealt with until... And the old thing is due back at some point. She had an appointment with a “doctor” at “10.50” so... perhaps another 17.00 roll-in. I don't care. Looking forward to going back to bed. - 13.45 It's back. We've chatted. I'm back in the room... that's that. (And my truck is right where I left it... she's in front of the garage and I'll probably be napping shortly.) - 16.16 An hour's nap... just up from.