15 November 2007, a cold and rainy day. I finally decided to take my old body to the end of the A. I happened to get the through train to Beach 116th Rockaway Park (and haven't ever done that since) and there I stood! This was to become the place that would give me peace during my remaining days.

November 2007:
No telling where this will go from here. It’s 21 November. 53 year anniversary. It should have never happened. But here I am. here I am.

2007.23.November
(PostTime: 16.40)
I have lived my life according to the mitzvot.
I have done for all humanity as best as I could.
Why then, must I suffer?
I ask why…
I get no reply.
God has died…
or did God ever really exist?

2007.24.November
(PostTime: 12.36)
First there was me, then another, then another
then one died
and there was another
and that was all.

WHY could I not have been the fourth?

I’ve done nothing so wrong as to deserve THIS.

Who is the spirit that must suffer so terribly
in this existence that I experience now?
There is no “Hell” after this…
THIS is the only “Hell”…
Nothing will be worse.

I look toward death
and Peace.

2007.29.November
(PostTime: 30 November 11.39)
07.29.11
It’s said that there is somebody for everybody.
What ifI’ve let my somebody go?
OK. So it’s too late now.

(PostTime: 30 November 11.40)
07.29.11
A million people on the subways.
One of us is on the wrong train.
I’m alone.
You’re not here!